This is a short story of a Mackerel meeting with the Emperor.... more>>

Rank 3rd in Syosetsu's top 100 in Funny category as of 11/27/22.

A good read for a break from long novels and chapters. <<less

You think too much, cultivation is not like this…... more>>

When Kong Hou steps on the path to cultivation, she learns that all xianxia stories are full of lies.

A relaxed cultivation story.

Kong Hou: a traditional musical instrument like a harp. The female protagonist’s name. <<less

Zhao Yelan was born as a criminal s*ave and was rescued by the Third Prince. After years of painstaking efforts to put him on the throne, Zhao Yelan became a sycophantic minister whom everyone detested, but he was actually given a marriage by that person to general Yan Mingting, the lone star of Tiansha.... more>>

The general caused the death of his own father, his mother, his wife, and his dog. Everyone hoped that the curse would also kill Zhao Yelan as soon as possible.

On the wedding night, Zhao Yelan, who was dressed in red, took out a dagger, his eyes sharp: “What do you want?”

Yan Mingting held his hand tightly, and borrowed his dagger to carve a large character on the head of the bed – – Early.

“You’re weak and frail, get up early every day and practice horse stance with me!”

“?”

The common people thought this marriage was truly wonderful!

They heard that this big minister was beaten every day. He had to repair the roof tiles when the house leaked and also work in the kitchen. He served his husband and was very obedient, and from then on, he didn’t dare condemn people.

Hey, the general was truly mighty!

Zhao Yelan sat lazily by the bed, playing with the dagger, and raised the ends of his eyes slightly: “Where did these rumors come from?”

“From my dog mouth.” Yan Mingting, who was in horse stance, patted his thigh. “Madam, please take the seat of honor. You don’t have to get up early tomorrow.” <<less

You are the last rose in my barren wasteland.

Poor little top student was bullied by his school, so he transferred from an elite high school to an ordinary school.... more>>

School tyrant · 1.9 meters · no one dare to provoke · Brother Zhan: I cover this little brother.

Poor little · 1.7 meters · Gu Qinan: Zhan Ge is just a child. He’s poor, weak, helpless, kind and soft (hearted), I need to love him well.

Everyone: ???

Class teacher: Zhan Ming, what kind of score is this?!

Zhan Ming: I’ll have my seatmate teach me.

Former classmates: Gu Qinan, don’t think we won’t be able to find you just because you transferred.

Gu Qinan: I’ll have my seatmate beat you. <<less

“Nobody’s going to buy me emeralds. Nobody’s going to give me babies. Nobody’s going to save my life.”... more>>

—Lawrence Block, “Eight Million Ways to Die”

I could finally be liberated.

***

It had been more than a decade since Shi Wen, an alpha who became an omega for the man he loved, had been suffering in the quagmire of the world and his partner's indifference and disgust. As he was dragged into the darkness of death, he dialed his partner's number. "I don't regret it." But all he got in response was the hung-up tone.

No one saved him.

***

Shang Yu indifferently hung up the call. Anyway, he would see him soon after that person's gland removal surgery.

He never thought that that would be the last. <<less

Jiang Ying, a controversial second-generation celebrity, loves nothing more than collecting dirt on other stars.... more>>

Qi Zhu, a controversial actor. His hobby? Counterattacking trolls, tabloids, and anti-fans.

Classmates from elementary school to high school, they fit the mold of childhood sweethearts. And yet they were more like fire and ice: utterly incompatible.

Back in high school, they fought while reviewing test answers. On set, they fought over their scripts. For better or worse, the two were in contact every single day. Their QQ streak has never been broken.

By chance, Qi Zhu discovered his own dirt in Jiang Ying’s possession.

Qi Zhu: ?

Jiang Ying: Don’t you know? Your scandals are way cuter than you.

Jiang Ying thought they would bicker for the rest of their lives.

Until, one day, he came across a new ship on Weibo: ZhuiFengZhuYing.

And a supertopic to match: ZhuYingYaoHong.

Soon after Jiang Ying was born, his parents held his zhuazhou ceremony. Among the items they set out before him, Jiang Ying crawled to the keyboard.

Ever since his youth, Jiang Ying had never lost an argument.

In a popular squabbling app that randomly matched users with differing opinions, prompting them to fight, Jiang Ying could handily defeat any opponent.

After spending three years on the app ‘Fight!’, Jiang Ying reigned as king of the leaderboard.

Out of the goodness of his heart, to benefit society, Jiang Ying took an apprentice who clearly didn’t know the first thing about dissing people. He worked hard to train up his little apprentice until the kid could diss and roast as fiercely as the king.

It was only later, when he was pushed down in bed and [redacted] by the typically cold and taciturn Qi Zhu, that Jiang Ying realized Qi Zhu had somehow learned every trick in his book. <<less

Shi An is the last Abyss Dragon in the world. Since he was bored, he decided to go into a deep sleep while hugging his treasures. After fifty thousand years of satisfying slumber, Shi An opened his eyes only to discover that he had become a weak human with short hands and legs.... more>>

He glanced down at his mysteriously downsized body and then lifted his head to look around his empty cave. “……” Where is my powerful and majestic body? My big tail? Most importantly, where are my treasures?!

After thousands of years of hard work, sleeping just once has sent me to square one.

***

In the year 2202, the conflicts between humans and monsters are becoming more and more intense. Although the monsters are strong, the fantastical species that used to rule the continent have all but disappeared.

Shi An, the Shi family’s youngest son, is Mage Academy’s infamous mage who has no magic power. Each student’s magic power is measured at the beginning of the school year. Shi An looked at the three destroyed magic detection equipment and innocently asked, “Eh? Are these equipment’s quality not very good?”

During actual combat training, low-ranked monsters fled before Shi An could get close. Shi An looked at their fleeing figures and innocently exclaimed, “Yay, lucky!”

Everyone else was speechless. “……?” I believe I am dreaming.

***

Mu Heng——human species’ strongest mage——is the only remaining human who bears the noble dragon slayer bloodline.

He coldly and arrogantly said, “Dragons? Extinction is their best outcome.”

A long time later, Mu Heng turned his head back to look at the dragon cub reclining on the piles of treasure. Mu Heng withdrew his gaze and leisurely asked, “Are there any other jobs? I want a well-paid one.”

Extinction is out of the question now. As a matter of fact, I can only earn more money so that I won’t get kicked out of bed at night. <<less

Jiang Shuyao transmigrated and became a vicious lady with a flamboyant appearance and gaudy clothes. She married the most charming young man in the capital by relying on a scheme.... more>>

The husband disliked her, mother-in-law loathed her, brother-in-law despised her, Jiang Shuyao wanted to cry without tears.

However, there is nothing in the world that cannot be solved by a hot and spicy meal. If there is, then add hot pot, iron plate barbecue, skewers, milk tea, grilled chicken wings, custard wrap, shrimp dumplings, fried chicken, hot and sour noodles, curry rice, hand cake, fish cake stew, mashed potatoes, preserved eggs, lean meat porridge, and shrimp porridge.

After a period of time:

Picky mother-in-law: Shuyao is indeed a filial child.

Sisters-in-law: Younger sister-in-law is really cute.

Stern eldest brother-in-law and second-brother-in-law: Hard work, sister-in-law.

……

Looking at the people who have been defeated because of food, Xie Xun hates the iron for not becoming steel. Jiang Shuyao’s mind is very cruel and bad, I will… definitely not eat it… so fragrant! <<less

After Song Juyao died and emerged from the virtual world, she learned that her entire life had just been a reality show which was led and controlled by others.... more>>

One billion viewers watched this live broadcast, all of them pointing fingers at her and ridiculing her life whilst the director team thought up every possible method to design setbacks for her, pulling her into the mud over and over again.

Then, Song Juyao was reborn. This time, her memory was not suppressed.

This was a crazy world. People were discontent and bored of their lives. They had also lost their enthusiasm for various kinds of entertainment, falling to the point of seeking all sorts of thrills in order to arouse their emotions.

Later, they found a precious treasure. She was perfect. They held her in the palm of their hands and went wild for her. They even regarded her as a God and worshipped her fanatically. <<less

Shen Yanbei, who was smashed by a scumbag right after coming out from the closet didn’t expect to open his eyes and found that he was transmigrating.... more>>

What? Did he get married just now? Even married a man?

Shen Yanbei quietly looked at the newly married wife. His facial features were as sharp as a knife, rough but handsome! Wide shoulders, narrow waist and hips, masculine, and sexy!

… Such high quality!

Shen Yanbei l**ked his lips. It seemed that God was still on his side. Got rid of the scumbag and found him a manly wife.

Then he welcomed! <<less

He uses desire to ensnare others, he uses blood as temptation, he uses his appearance as a disguise. Like a wolf, he hunts for prey in the shadows. He is among the FBI’s most wanted list of serial killers. He lives by his own law, the Lex Talionis. He does things his own way, independent and reckless. He gave himself his own name: Sha Qing... more>>

————

The first time the two officially met:

“The purpose of the prison is not to destroy people’s lives; it’s meant to replace the broken chains of law and morality, to bind the beast in their hearts again, until it is completely subdued,” said Leo.

“Everyone has beasts in their hearts, agent, and so do you.” Sha Qing extended an index finger and pointed at Leo’s heart.

“Yes, but unlike you, I will use those iron chains to lock it tightly in a cage.”

“It’s not as easy as you think, Leo. Things are always changing, and often beyond your control …”

With his blood-stained lips, he suddenly kissed the stunned FBI agent.

The salty bloody taste spread in their mouth and the fiery contact was enough to burn the tips of their tongues.

Leo’s eyes suddenly felt heavy, but his face did not show any irritation from being calculated upon.

“Did you also count this?” He raised his wrist with effort, then closed his eyes.

Sha Qing looked down and saw that a pair of steel handcuffs had fastened his left wrist with the other’s right arm.

He lowered his head and kissed the sleeping man’s wet, dusty hair, and said in a soft voice:

“Goodbye, brave young lion.”

He then dislocated his own hand to remove the shackles that bound them together.

Sha Qing stood up and walked away, until his figure disappeared into the darkness… <<less

Luo Zhiyu and Xiao Yan, both presenting in the middle of a gang fight, are carried to the hospital one after the other. One becomes an omega, and one becomes an alpha. ... more>>

Probably because the two were in the middle of an intense brawl at the time of presenting, their pheromone compatibility is an historically unprecedented 0%.

Other than sometimes fighting and getting on bad terms every time they meet, these two people put together are definitely safe — to the point that when there are not enough hotel rooms on a school trip, teachers put them in the same room.

Teachers: Anyone has the potential to date in high school, but these two definitely have no chance!

The principal catches an alpha and an omega walking on the side path in the evening, supposedly dating —

Students: There is no way, those two are definitely innocent!

Everyone, including Luo Zhiyu himself, thinks that there is no way between them.

And then one day, Luo Zhiyu gets permanently marked by Xiao Yan.

Luo Zhiyu: ? No, the pheromones say we are not compatible, we must believe in science.

Xiao Yan pulls out the new compatibility report, dropping it in front of Luo Zhiyu: Enough nonsense, go steal your hukou identification so we can get married.

As Luo Zhiyu attends his high school’s first year military training, under the scorching sun, second-year Xiao Yan sits in front of their squad drinking iced water and eating watermelon.

Luo Zhiyu picks up a stick and swings it at Xiao Yan for two whole blocks.

As Xiao Yan attends his university’s first year military training, under the scorching sun, high school third-year Luo Zhiyu sits in front of their squad drinking iced water and eating watermelon.

Xiao Yan brings the person into his arms, kissing him against a wall. <<less

The Marquis Yunyang was deposed by the Emperor and his family ended up in dire straits overnight. As such, the Third Miss of the Shen Household, her family’s most precious jewel, found herself abandoned by all with a sick brother on her hands. Having no other choice, she set up a cosmetics shop in Chang’an.... more>>

But to the eyes of all, especially her relatives’, she had become nothing but an alluring flower any man could pick at will.

Passing by her Baixiang Pavilion, the heir to the Grand Duchy of Zhen, Lu Yan, witnessed her being harassed by the idle sons of Chang’an’s leading class. Her appearance reminded him of dreams that had been plaguing him lately, revealing to him a past with her and the sultry love affair they had shared in a previous life.

With shaking fingers, he also remembered the bitter taste of heartbreak when she left him to marry another man.

Thus, in this life, he decided to save her once more, lure her into an affair, install her as his mistress and never let her escape his sphere of influence again.

However, to keep Shen Zhen by his side, finding her a place to stay and caring for her brother was not enough. Little did Lu Yan know he would be pulled into the darkest corners of Chang’an and take part in games of power that at times implicated the Main Gentleman of the Empire, the Emperor himself. Selling what he held dearest in the process: his integrity as an official.

All for the sake of Chang’an’s First Beauty. <<less

The world did not expect that the Yama of a mountain of corpses and leader of loafers, Xiahou Lian, would be reduced to the lowest rank of underling in the Eastern Depot. He had a monthly salary of two taels, which wasn’t even enough for rent.... more>>

As a rebel in the martial arts world and the Eastern Depot’s most wanted criminal, Xiahou Lian did not expect that the delicate little young master he had met in his childhood would actually become the powerful and arrogant governor of the Eastern Depot.

As for that governor, there was a beam of white moonlight in his heart, a memory of someone he had coveted for a long time yet was out of reach.

“I’ll become a ghost for you, and you’ll become a Buddha for me.” <<less

Shen Si was an ordinary person, living an ordinary life, until one day, the unlimited flow world collapses and all the Survivors returned to reality, setting off a ripple.... more>>

His gentle neighbor, Bai JunYi, was the God of Light in the other world, with the strength of faith that could shake the world’s rules.

His affectionate ex-boyfriend, Jian Nian, was the God of Killing that even ghosts and gods fear, and the rumors are more frightening than each other.

His distant cousin, Xi Luo, whom he has never met, was the unlimited flow world dark boss, leading countless ghosts and monsters.

Ordinary person Shen Si: ????

Onlooker crowd: So many big brothers have relations with him, he must be the hidden most powerful person! <<less

Mo Tianliao was a master weaponsmith and a demonic cultivator. When news spread that he was about to complete a divine weapon, cultivators from both the demonic and orthodox sides chased him down and killed him. In a stroke of luck, he managed to possess a new body and was reborn.... more>>

So what was the first thing on his mind after his rebirth? Avenging his death? Taking over the world?

Mo Tianliao: I have to find my cat!

—
Mo Tianliao: Why won’t you let me hug you? You used to be my cat!

Master: (unsheathes claws)

Mo Tianliao: Ahaha, this disciple has too much respect for Master, this disciple can’t bear to let Master walk on the ground!

Master: (lifts paw, sends disciple flying) <<less

“The sun rises in the East, only you are invincible.”... more>>

From beginning to end, the only one Dongfang Bubai loved was Yang Lianting. In their past life, even though Yang Lianting coveted power and position, even though he never held him in his heart– But Dongfang Bubai’s love, isn’t it just like this? Falling in love with such a person means not only accepting his good, but also tolerating his evil.

Reborn Yang Lianting returned to a time when everything had yet to happen, which gives him the chance to reflect upon himself, to treat Dongfang well and to return him a lifetime filled with happiness. <<less

In the summer of 1992, Shan Ming was injured during a mission and got separated from his teammates. He was lost in the vast and horrifying primitive forest on the China-Myanmar border.... more>>

Relying on his rich experience in wildlife survival, he still holds absolute confidence in his ability to escape from difficulties.

However, it took him double the time expected to escape from this devil’s land.

The reason was that he accidentally picked up a creature that should’ve never appeared in this place – a child – a little Chinese boy.

On a whim, Shan Ming picked up the child from the gates of death. As a result, he changed the fate of two people, or perhaps even more.

The untraceable plane crash, the numerous crises faced by the mercenary group, the suspicions and sacrifices among the members of the group, and the ice-thin relationship with the government organization.

The fear-stricken “National Weapon” project, the legendary and tragic fate of the “Dragon Blood Kins”.

Huge conspiracies were hidden behind the seemingly ordinary missions and everything seemed to be connected with the child’s mysterious identity.

His appearance dragged Shan Ming and his mercenary group step by step into irreparable doom…

Ahem, the text above is sort of tricky. Let’s try a more relaxed version:

Due to a plane crash, a five-year-old (human?) shota got lost in the primitive forest on the China-Myanmar border. He was forcibly raised by a Chinese member of an international mercenary group.

Since falling into the hands of this inhuman mercenary, the shota has completely bid farewell to his delicate childhood and begun his painful ripening.

When other five-year-old shotas were acting mushy gushy in their mothers’ arms, he had been forced to learn how to shoot a headshot.

When other seven-year-olds were held in the palm of their parents’ hands, he had to solo the pe*verted killer who lusted after him.

When other ten-year-olds were still innocently crushing on their female deskmate, he had already followed his foster father, who had no lower limit to his morality, into and out of the colorful brothels in Las Vegas.

After being under the influence of his foster father for a long time, the naive little shota finally became abnormal…

So this is the story of a delicate young master who has been bullied and cruelly trained since childhood.

One who eventually grew up to be a black-bellied cold-blooded mercenary and successfully overpowered his despicable foster father that always treated him like reserve food and ordered him around like a dog. <<less

Sent to prison for attacking his charges money-grubbing wife, the protagonist is given a second chance to get out of prison. He is to be... more>> the genocidal Dr. Watson’s nurse. Dr. Watson is a mass mu*derer from one hundred years ago. Although, he may not seem to be who everyone thinks he is.  <<less

In miserable times, drinking water could even satiate hunger. Thankfully, Han Qingyan didn’t die when he fell off the cliff, but was instead forced like a woman and expected to birth a child!... more>>

You psycho! Look carefully! I’m a man!!! Even if I am topped every day, I can’t produce an egg!

Unfortunately, no matter how angry or helpless he felt, he couldn’t deny it. With his Demon Sect Master’s position usurped, the only one whom he had was Psycho. It was the warmth of a lifetime that he would never forget. Even if he recovered and forgot everything that had happened, even if he had everything and no longer cared for a stranger like him, he would still sacrifice his all for him…....

The righteous and the evil had always been at odds. He had been plotting everything. Just for this one person, this relationship, and his heart. <<less

The beautiful snow leopard would bite his tail whenever he’s nervous. When he was sent to the snow wolf king’s bedroom, he bit his tail tremblingly. ... more>>

Snow Wolf King: What are you afraid of? I wouldn’t eat you.

Snow Leopard: I’m afraid you’ll XX my OO.

Snow Wolf King: Then you will have to forgive me, for this king is precisely here for that reason.

Snow Leopard: But I heard only the snow wolves can be queen…?

Snow Wolf King: Was there such a rule? I’ll go ask a biologist.

Three days later, the northern biologists expressed: Snow leopard is a type of snow wolf.

Love story between cross-species demons in an impracticable setting. <<less

Huo Yu, a rich second generation with Doraphobia, suddenly became a small kitty cat, and the bound system told her that she was cursed because of her persecution of the Heroine, and that she needed to exchange the female lead's happiness points to regain her human form... more>>

The Heroine of this world happens to be Lin Shuwei, her tortured rival.

Before Huo Yu could come up with a countermeasure, she was picked up by Lin Shuwei and became her cat. She endured humiliation, carried burdens, and relied on being cute and spoiled to increase her happiness points.

***

Lin Shuwei always thought that President Xiao Huo hated herself, until one day she discovered that Xiao Huo not only personally saved her from bullying, but also hired an army of fans to fight against the haters. She even became the number one fan in her fan club.

Xiao Huo would use an alternate account to engage in battles with the haters, and she would send her sweet messages every day, showing great concern for her. She was her die-hard fan!

Lin Shuwei observed her silently and found that Xiao Huo became cuter and cuter and more and more like her cat.

***

Since appearing on a variety show together, Huo Yu and the rising actress Lin Shuwei were hailed as the best CP of the year.

Huo Yu was cold-faced when she was asked about her relationship with Lin Shuwei: Working relationship, not familiar!

However, that evening, Huo Yu posted on Weibo:

In a romantic relationship, thanks for your concern @Lin Shuwei

The onlookers were bewildered, and the fans of their CP were ecstatic.

At that moment, the protagonist, Huo Yu, was squinting her eyes as she lay in Lin Shuwei's arms, doing her best to increase her happiness points. <<less

From the beginning of his debut, Song Yiran and Qin Ke became bitter enemies. They could not see each other properly and had been fighting for years. Until one day, Song Yiran had a dream.... more>>

He dreamed that he was originally a cannon fodder of a novel, and that, no matter how hard he tried, he was bound to be a miserable cannon fodder to set off Qin Ke, the hero.

But fortunately, when he woke up, he was reborn again. 　

Looking back in the past, Song Yunran looked at his family’s luxury mansion, counted his assets and suddenly realized— 　

What entertainment circle?　

He wants to inherit the family property, be a domineering president who calls for wind and rain, and then take his money to humiliate Qin Ke. He must let Qin Ke kneel down and call him Lord Gold Daddy!

Ever since then,

When Qin Ke accepted a new play, Song Yunran hurried to invest: “Do you like this play? Call me Daddy.”　Qin Ke gave him a cold look and turned away. 　

When Qin Ke signed the endors**ent of the Song family product, Song Yunran personally went to the spot of the advertis**ent shooting: “Do you like the endors**ent? Call me Daddy.” Qin Ke stared at him meaningfully, without speaking.

When Qin Ke needs to go to Variety show with people, Song Yunran takes the initiative: “Want to find a partner? Call me Daddy.” Qin Ke gave a deep thought and chuckled. 　

Everything went very well, but one day…… 　

Song Yunran watched as Qin Ke lower his head and whisper in his ear;”You want me to let you go?Come on, call me Daddy, I want to hear it.” <<less

In all my life, I’ve only made two mistakes that I regret. The first was filling out my entrance exam application wrong, and the second was offending Zhong Yuan. If I had to use an idiom to describe the impact of my mistake, it would be simply, ‘Life is no better than death’. And if I had to use an idiom to describe Zhong Yuan’s offenses to me, it would be simply, ‘Too many crimes to record’. And yet, for as evil and wicked as he was, he attracted girls the way that flowers attracted bees and butterflies.... more>>

It happened that one day, for some reason, I taunted Zhong Yuan, “The King of Hell sent you to torture some more people, didn’t he?” Without a change in expression, he replied, “In order to torture fewer people, I decided to just choose one person to torture for the rest of my life.” I asked him, “What do you mean?” He smiled at me and answered, “If you don’t go to hell, who will?” <<less