Novels I have completely read where the main couple has a healthy relationship : no r*pe, no coercion nor blackmail to get together/have s*xual interc**rse, no ultra-toxic possessiveness, no unjustified unreasonable jealousy

(side-characters / side-couples may or may not have healthy relationships)

Novels I feel are in the grey zone (or way past it) figure on my all-encompassing BL list : https://www.novelupdates.com/viewlist/32419/

If you'd also like to check out healthy ongoing novels, which are excluded here, check out RiverOfBL's list : https://www.novelupdates.com/viewlist/29052/