and the Death Count is so much more than other novel I have ever read!!! Too much from what I expected and my heart break so many times!!!!..... But then........ Anyway even till the end it still left me Emotional.

“Illusory Life, Authentic Death”

but OMG! MY BOOI!! MY CHENG QIANLI!! AHHHHHHH!! HOW COULD YOU DIE LIKE THAT?!?! WHY DO YOU LEAVE ME???!!!! I LOVE YOU AND CHENG YIXIE TOO!! oh he was the best the boy I've ever had and he just dies, do you how much my heart ached?? do you know how much I cried?!?! I haven't cried like that since my graduation at primary school... and now I can't even listen the song that I was listening to when Cheng Qianli died, I just can't anymore, and their extra chapters too, I cried again, but I'm happy that Cheng Yixie can stay with him in the illusionary world...🥲 pls send help I'm dying again....

Although I am quite confused near the end...

So in the extra, we find out our dear ML is door 12, he is the abyss (but we have no clue what abyss mean in this context), it doesn't explain much on how he was able to be different from other doors, why do other doors have no manifestation (maybe the other doors didn't fall in love with our MC?), or why he is so different from other doors (maybe cause he's the last door so he has much more power?) ? But it's a mystery novel I get it, not everything is supposed to have an answer.

While it's interesting that everything we read from chapter 1 and everything that took place in the whole series happened in Door 12, and the MC's going through his actual Door 1 to Door 11 progress again but with the ML this time (because the ML had the desire to be by MC side to complete Door 1 to Door 12 and remember MC is a youth when he started the door but became an adult by door 12, but in the beginning of the series he is an adult already so everything in this novel from chapter 1 is MC's Door 12), at the same time, the author making ML into Door 12 could either be written much better or completely omitted. The author could have jolly well continued what she had written in previous chapters and both the MC and ML (both humans) are both done with Door 12 and got extended life and they live happily together for as long as their life allows.

But NO, now, I don't even know if the MC passes away what will happen to the ML, will he die as well (but he's not human), or will he erase his memories again and do the same thing and fall in love with someone different, will he go back to do his door duties, or will he just waste he life away forever while keeping his find memories with the MC together in his mind. And so a door, how does he manifest in the reality, just how powerful is he man.

obsidian, especially the twins bcs how am I supposed to cope with the twins' death

THE PLOT TWIST is not something I expected, in an extra of all things. we learn that the whole story takes place inside door 12; nanzhu is its door-keeper, extremely powerful, and basically falls in love at first sight watching qiushi clear his earlier doors. he waits until qiushi enters the 12th door, wipes both their memories, and recreates THE WHOLE STORY of qiushi's adventures... but with him by his side this time. and qiushi is none the wiser until he comes out of the 12th door (and back to true reality) and realizes no one knows who nanzhu is...

as it turns out, the person who nanzhu said he was was actually the real qiushi himself. he basically stole qiushi's identity, fooled everyone including himself, and poor qiushi never regained his real memories but he does develop an inkling of what nanzhu did

... and what I love the most was that qiushi doesn't mind one bit. he understands that his memories are falsified but nanzhu is with him and that's all that matters. I absolutely love the relationship development from both nanzhu and qiushi where they both were SO afraid of losing each other, so deciding that whether in life or death, being with each other was the most important. they've grown so much and their outlook on life and what is most important to them matured as well <3

so one of biggest unanswered questions is what the heck happened between door 11 and door 12, because it sounds like either 1) door 12 existed inside door 11, or 2) door 12 never existed in the first place. my personal take is that the real door 11 and door 12 existed seperately, but because of nanzhu's interference, they merged together in our storyline.

the real qiushi probably did pass door 11 like it was a regular door, found the key and the door, and got out. the events of door 11 (100 ghost riot) likely did take place, but ended differently simply because nanzhu wasn't a part of qiushi's life at the time. we know for a fact that door 11 and 12 were indeed separate in the original timeline because it was specifically mentioned that nanzhu saw qiushi enter door 12, and ye niao also reaffirms this fact in the final chapter.

as for why door 11 and 12 merged in the storyline that we read? I'm not too sure, but I want to entertain the idea that our qiushi didn't manage to pass door 11 at all. time ran out before he could find the key, and qiushi slowly becomes trapped inside the door, essentially 'dying'.

BUT!! we have to remember that this is actually door 12 that he's in, and door 12 is still incomplete.

he finds two the two keys; the one signifying illusion was the key out of door 11 (this door tempts qiushi into thinking the door world isn't so bad as it seems, with dead characters making re-appearances and living fulfilling lives), it crumbles because qiushi never managed to clear this door. the one for authentic death was to clear door 12. and door 12 was likely meant as a test of fiction vs reality; qiushi chooses reality because only in reality can he and nanzhu be truly together, no matter if it's in life or death.

CHEN QIANLIIIII I WILL NEVEE FORGET YOU SWEETIE😭😭 I literally crieddddd bucketsss of tearss... for me it was a twist... author made it seem likee qianli's twin bro will diee for himm but damnn at the end our littlee one had to take the blow...i was soooo heartbroken forr chen qiexi... he technically lost everything 😭😭 the story of the twins was one of the highlights for me😭😭 ahh the feels fromm the story!!

I get that there were hints that Lin Qiushi had already gone through the 12 doors before the story started and been made to forget. His tendency to not become overemotional in the face of death, his abnormally quick adjustment to the doors, and his lack of detailed history beyond working overtime constantly. I also understand that his liver cancer was also a hint, as it turns out that, prior to forgetting, he seemed to be seriously addicted to cigarettes. On Lin Qiushi's side of things, we seem to be good. But on Ruan Nanzhu's...

I feel like the author could've done a bit more to hint at his true identity. Maybe have the Obsidian members take to Lin Qiushi as if he were an old friend immediately after 'meeting' him. Maybe have Ruan Nanzhu feel disconnected at some point for reasons the reader will misconstrue. Or, have a ghost react strangely to him inside the door.

In the end, the only hint we got about Ruan Nanzhu's identity in the main story was in the very last chapter before the extras, when he came out of the 11th door a year after Lin Qiushi already did. Since, no matter how long you're in the door, it's only been 10 minutes outside, this is a very strange thing to happen, but it's the only strange thing to happen concerning Ruan Nanzhu.

Honestly, it felt unnecessary. Because, now, Ruan Nanzhu is actually kind of awful since he not only stole Lin Qiushi's life for the most part, he also made Lin Qiushi go through the 12 doors all over again just so he can be there with him. In one word, it's romantic. In another... it's pretty awful. But, he made that decision when he was the lead NPC of the 12th door, so we can't really hold that against him. Since he was originally supposed to be an enemy, and all that. Since he made himself forget, so he'd be human with everyone else, we'll call him innocent.

And that's another thing! Now, we'll never know what the 12th door would've looked like! What sort of monster was Ruan Nanzhu supposed to be, originally? What nearly impossible challenge would he set?That was the extra chapter I wanted, author!

Turns out the male lead, Ruan Nanzhu, was the twelfth door all along and changed Lin Qiushi’s memories to basically self-insert into his life. He took his life and made it his, while making completely new memories and background for Lin Qiushi.

Now the whole character development is useless, because the personality that Lin Qiushi had in these false memories is different than he had before. The relationships that he built in these memories are now overlapping with real ones and makes it more confusing. The more I think about it, the more f*cked up the situation feels.

Did “Ruan Nanzhu’s” seniors exist? Were they Lin Qiushi’s seniors? What about the previous leader of Obsidian? Was he made up for the memories or existed? Did Wu Qi exist? The whole situation with his girlfriend - was it made up? And etc.

Ffs, it just throws it at you and leaves it be. God, it makes me so frustrated and I would not be mad if author just elaborated further on that. Just spent a few more extras to explain how male lead fell in love, what was his position as door (was he like the boss, since he was the final door or what??), what ARE door, what was real and what was made up and etc.