The female lead was adopted by her mother and moved to France when she was 12. (I'm unclear from the MTL if she ran away from home and just snuck into the shelter or not.) She fought fervently to leave the hut that housed the other hopeful adoptees in Mexico. Since then, our female lead has fought for parental love from a woman who used to be a ballerina, but could no longer be because of an injury. She practiced ballet until she was hella good at it, but she actually hated it. She felt trapped from her mother's and her teacher's expectations. Even the French man that pursued her often painted her in her ballerina outfit, which she fervently rejected because he also saw her as a beautiful ballerina. She was overall a cold person (quite the contrast to the FL we know which is hilarious) who practiced ballet every day to the point that she's become accustomed to the pain in her toes.

Her self-proclaimed fiancee is the male lead. I'll call him ML. ML's sister was also a talented ballerina who practiced ballet with our female lead in France. FL and the sister considered each other as rivals, but our FL was better than her because FL was acknowledged by that teacher. Watching the man she loved (the French man who fervently pursued FL even though she heartlessly rejected him) and the ballet teacher that she desired taken from her, ML's sister decided to something as payback. ML's sister was drunk one rainy afternoon and decided to run over the FL. But here's the twist that our FL remembers much later on, recall that our FL is extremely unhappy with her life. FL sees that ML's sister was only scaring her because the car swerves around her. FL intentionally runs towards the car. She was suicidal. She didn't want to live like that unhappy life anymore, but having practiced ballet for so long, it was all she had. Her adoptive mom died about 2 years earlier and wasn't that rich.

ML comes to the scene seeing his distressed sister and the FL (who he only briefly met when she told him off for smoking in a non-smoking area) covered in a pool of blood. Seeing this, he immediately thinks that his sister is guilty and he takes FL away to China. Only the blood was found by the French police.

Later, our FL will wake up briefly as she's taken away to a hospital, just to tell the doctor not to amputate her legs. Then, she'll wake up in the hospital without any memories. I'm assuming this is from too much blood loss and perhaps, her mind wanted to suppress the bad memories so she can start a new life. When she wakes up, the ML proclaims himself to her as her fiancee but is actually quite cold. He's polite and gives her housing, rehabilitation, schooling, etc. But she feels no warmth from him nor does her body recognize him (she tried it by kissing him lmao). ML wanted to protect his sister and pretend to be FL's fiancee so she wouldn't sue his sister, etc.

But contrary to his expectations, our quirky FL weaves her way into his heart. I think the first time this really showed was around ch 10 (I might be wrong, it was around there somewhere) where the FL takes back a dirty stray cat and he orders her to throw it out immediately. When the cat runs away, FL chases after it, but the ML has already found it first and gave it a bath... even though he has severe cat allergies (his face gets bumpy). Or, when he found her trying to do ballet moves with her injured legs and she falls down, crying. He starts to soften up to her. I could tell the guilt was killing him so he sent her to university to study French. She could easily understand it because she's lived in France~

There's a bunch of fluff fluff scenes for the first half of the novel. Like the first time he proposed to her out in the middle of nowhere with the stars and he asked her poetically (something about the galaxy and stars... Sorry MTL sucks).

The second half of the novel is when she falls head over heels for ML (mostly, dependency because he forged her new name and life) but finds out he's a fake. I like that she gives him a hard time. He totally deserved it. But, then again, she wanted to die initially so I'm not sure who to blame. All I can say is that everything gets resolved wonderfully, the rivalry between the sister and her, getting recognition from her old esteemed teacher after not practicing ballet for 2 years, turning down her fervent French pursuer and getting the man who lied to her but loves her wholeheartedly.

I just feels like this novel reads like a true crime story, but romanticize and the villain get away with doing the crime. Seriously, what is wrong with the ML?? He basically kidnap the FL, who was dying and takes advantage of her at her most vulnerable time all to "protect" his sister. Then he manipulate FL, who is amnesiac and have nobody to lean on but himself by claiming to be her fiance. Cutting FL of from her past, alone with broken dream, broken body, and no memories. Leaving her with no choice but to depend on him. From the on, their "romance" start. What a fvcking creep, a criminal I say. And he also got no repercussion doing this!

And the sister is such an entitled girl. I get that she doesn't really intended to kill FL, but FL still got hit by her car! Why not call an ambulance? Instead she and her brother, the ML conspire to hide this accident. Wtf??

And, god, that proposal at the end. ML, once again, manipulate and pressure her (this time using his life) to accept his proposal as he wouldn't take no for an answer. Looking at the trend, I bet he would keep manipulating FL in the future. Poor FL will have to live forever with this kind of ML. I guess FL got that stockholm syndrome. ML belong in jail imho. The fact that this is marketed as romance and seen as fluffy story is so scary to me.

I danced, circling him. I was unbridled in my performance. I expressed my deep longing for freedom. It wasn't Odette or Odile's movements. It was my own chaotic way of expression. This was my body's cipher. I didn't need to follow in the footsteps of anyone else. I finally rediscovered that gentle yet smooth feeling. This was the real meaning of dance.

I was dancing my own life. I danced the confusion I felt after the accident with amnesia. I danced the love I had received, and similarly the pain when discovering the love was a farce. I danced the horror of learning the truth. Finally, I danced the peace and intensity of this very moment. I had too much to tell Yin Li, so I used a more familiar language to express myself.

I was good and bad. I was tender and passionate. Within me, I carried hopes and despair.

I continuously changed my footsteps yet my eyes never left him. His eyes were already burning with emotion. He had been bewitched.

I could imagine myself in this moment. I was releasing my wicked, alluring side and revealing my innocence as well as my darker side. Every step of mine was a weapon.

Flamboyantly beautiful.

It takes five people working full-time to support a world-class artist.

I was one of those artists who used my two feet to entice others.

I looked at Yin Li like this. I didn't touch him, but with every step I coaxed him.

Why don't you serve me?

My dance expressed that to him clear as day.

As the music came to a close, I circled one last time, withdrew my feet, and once again outstretched a hand to Yin Li.

This time his eyes burned as he looked me in the eyes. He gracefully kneeled at my feet and humbly kissed my fingertips.

He would serve me.

Yan Xiao (MC) is not simple-minded, in fact, she had complicated yet wise thoughts. Having lost all her memories (she didn't transmigrate), it was only normal for her to be wary of everyone, including the man who claimed to be her fiancé, Yin Li (ML). I liked that she didn't blindly trust YL and everyone around her. If I was in her situation, hell, I would have gone as far as to suspect YL was someone who tried to kill me, or accidentally hit me with his car and is now trying to finish the deed to avoid future troubles, but since I got amnesia, he decided to wait a little bit just to satisfy his curiosity if I was lying in order to survive; you know only for his own amusement.

But YL continued to be by YX's side and YX knew that given her situation, she could not depend on anyone other than YL. So she went along with all of YL's arrangements (her moving to YL's house and the rehabilitation treatment, then going back to school next).

YX appeared to be strong since the beginning. She never let anyone take advantage of her even if she felt helpless. But on the other hand, that was only a mask she put on to protect herself. That time when she had to rely on herself to take that step (which ought to be excruciatingly painful), she fell again and again yet she never gave up. She must have thought that only she can help herself, so she had to do what she had to do. And then she broke down, whether that was because of self-pity or a cry of victory, I cried with her. I felt her pain and the pride she felt for having won over her disability even if it's just a short period. She is a woman stronger than anyone. She is a woman I would want to be if I was put in a similar situation.

Her falling inlove with YL was only a matter of course. She probably wanted to deny it, but her feelings probably started very early on. She had her doubts on YL and those doubts never left her mind, but YL never did anything harmful to her and even helped her with her recovery. And when that cat incident happened, she saw a different side of YL, other than the cold and detached person he usually is. And that was probably the starting point when her mind started to accept that YL is indeed her fiancé, and allowed herself to fully trust him.

When YX accepted the fact that she wanted YL, she didn't shy away from it. She was decisive and on point. She was a woman who knows exactly what she wants. She embraced that feeling and made YL feel that she has accepted him.

But just like any other novels, conflicts arise, and in this case in the package of Yin Xuan (YL's sister) and Frank (YX's suiter in France). Her past suddenly caught up to her and she was once again thrown into chaos, like when she first woke up. The trust that she built towards YL started to crumble, and even then, she wanted to hold on to that trust. But circumstances wasn't kind. She eventually learned of the truth and that truth almost destroyed her. YX had it really bad. She went through hell and back. When she finally thought that she is finally living the life she should live, like a slap in the face that she didn't see coming, the truth was dumped on her like that. I would have gone mad. I would have hated everybody. YL, for deceiving me, Frank for crumbling the world I currently live in, and life, for not letting me go and continuously give me sh*tloads of crap.

When she left YL without confronting him, it was a decision she made after much deliberation. Like what she said, she not only loved YL, but trusted him. By leaving, she was protecting herself, at the same time, running away. I totally relate with this girl, as if we are of the same wavelength. She was probably afraid that her love for YL would have clouded her judgement.

What I also loved about her was she left YL and tried to find her identity herself, and not go with another man who claimed to have known her back in France, immediately trusting him. Given all the evidences in hand, and even when she realized that they were the same person, she wasn't some useless and helpless girl who depends on men to support her.

She is smart, so when she finally contacted Frank to arrange everything for her to go back to Paris, she already thought it through and already had a plan in place.

She cling on to ballet like her life depended on it. She had nothing, and only something tangible can redeem her from this slumped state. It didn't matter whether she like ballet or not, she just wants her identity back. The reason why I didn't come to dislike her for continuing in this futile attempt because I knew her thoughts all too well. I sympathized with her. I pitied her. She is a very strong woman, that even on the verge of losing her sanity, she persisted. She is a woman who has gone through harsh tribulations of life, but because of her will to live, she adapted to every situation like a second nature.

And when she left everyone behind, I didn't see it as totally unrealistic. She wanted to control her own fate and didn't let anyone decide for herself. She was bold and decisive. Even with all the uncertainties in the road she's about to embark on, she valiantly took a step forward with eyes wide open.

Step by step, she went through hell again. Those hardships she had gone through seemed to have been a sharp knife stabbing me. Why does she torture herself like that? Why can't she just let go and seriously think of what she wants from now on. But then I realized, ballet was all she ever wants this moment. And she will go through hell again if she have to just to get it back.

And then harsh reality struck her again, this more cruel than the last. She was never meant to be killed, premeditated or not. She wanted to die. At that moment, even my world crashed. I wallowed in self pity and can't help but ridicule the absurdity of this fact. I sobbed and thought that this is the real hell for her.

This is one of YX's thoughts that clearly reflected a lot of people's experiences. This is life.

"The world wasn't fair to me. For ballet, I had dedicated my life, yet I still chose to die. Then, I lost my memories and was deceived. The past had been a foggy, dim period. I went through tumultuous emotional ups and down, and life was never carefree. I was seemingly never treated with gentle kindness. The world treated me coarsely and harshly."

It seems that I was truly biased for YX, but that was only because from the very beginning, it felt like I was her. This was her story, her life, and it felt like it was mine too. So I would like to say a few sentences to the people around her.

Yin Li. I have never fully grasped his thoughts. He is a cunning and sly businessman who only wanted to protect the only family he had left. Unexpectedly, he fell inlove with YX and all his resolve went down the drain. From the moment he chose to take responsibility, he did it with the resolve to see through it till the end. I only wished I was given a chance to take a peek at his thoughts, it would have been much more easier to forgive him. But I forgave him regardless, because it was only human nature to protect the people you love and do everything to keep them safe. And he did exactly the same to YX.

This is a phrase from YL to YX that made me love him. "I'm not you. I don't have the right to flippantly ask of you to forget the past like it's nothing. But you know that I hope you will walk out of its shadow. Life is full of unexpected turns. But compared to the most ancient civilizations, we are small and humble. Civilizations become civilizations for a reason. They have barbaric, bloody pasts. But these pasts accumulate into wisdom. Only by experiencing the darkness can you have our current cultured societies. People are the same. Your pain and your struggles all mold you into who you are today."

Yin Xuan. I hated her at first. I couldn't believe she had the audacity to call YX names when she robbed YX off of her life. But later on, she finally was able to let go of all the things that were weighing her, including her life's goal and her guilt. She was a young girl who was blinded by her jealousy, pride, and other things, but in no way am I condoning the things she has done. I'm just saying, anyone could have harbored ill intentions to anybody. Learning of what really happened that night through YX's memories, it was easier to forgive her.

Frank. I didn't have much thoughts of this man. But I didn't like him. I always had the impression that he only fell in love with the high and lofty Alicia, and he wanted YX to continue dancing because he wants to see Alicia again, not because he fully supports and understands YX's intentions and suffering. So yeah, I agree with YL, Frank doesn't match YX at all.

He fakes his death by drowning to make her regret not agreeing to his proposal and then "comes back to life" and proposes when she is distraught. How insensitive can you get. I would almost have preferred it if he truly did die rather than this. And the worst part is that he was apparently recreating the real death of a man who died trying to set up his proposal.

The last chapter was so ridiculous and off-putting that it left a very disgusting after-taste in me. (bad enough for me to write my first review, take off all the star, and change my whole perspective on this novel from a barely passable read to a promotion of morally wrong conduct). If it ever happened to me I would stuff seaweed into his mouth to shut that manipulating trap, throw the ring into the ocean, shove him down there to forever look for it as he wished, while the police officers danced their asses away to give him his final farewell. (I chose to have selective amnesia about the helicopter and guests situation cause it only added fuel to my raging fire)

In conclusion, read from the beginning if you want to give this novel a try anyway.

Read the last chapter first if you hesitate but don't want to waste your time like I did, only to be driven so mad at the end

Some readers think the ML isn't as single-mindedly devoted or the relationship between him and the MC are more equal. I agree to the latter, but disagree with the former.

The ML is VERY devoted - he's pretty much in the background supporting her the entire time. When she couldn't stand, he helped her up after she couldn't get up again. When she tried to regain dance, he became the patron for the documentary so she'd have money for equipment. When she didn't have a chance at the competition, he purchase a stage for her in Paris. He's been looking out for her the whole time, even when she didn't want to see him or talk to him. That spells "devoted" to me.

However, what I do like is that, he has a bottom line. He didn't harm his sister even after he fell in love and thought his sister was the one who ruined her life.

On the equal part, it is very nice that the two of them fell for each other around the same time when she lost her memories. She agreed to his proposal at the time (before the past screwed everything up.)

However, he's been her shoulder (or silently supporting her) through her entire journey when previously she had been alone, but she hasn't done the same for him. Other than to get him to loosen up, the heroine hasn't supported him or shared any of his burdens (in fact she's caused a lot of trouble). So in this matter, they are not equal.

And honestly, I don't mind that about this story.

There are many many other CN/JP/whatever stories out there who are strong female leads, but their lives are about supporting the male protagonist and helping him reach his goals. So this reversal is fine for me.

And she does give up dance and choose to be with him in the end, which is not a choice you'll see any male protagonists making. I don't mind as much because she regained her love for dance in the first place through casual dancing/enjoying life, since previously, she had to give up so much for it that she became depressed and resentful. So her choice to back out from the professional scene is in a way preserving her love for it.

This novel reminds me of the fact that: Nobody in this world exists for the sole purpose of saving you.

Fictional romances frequently depict an ML who exists solely to resolve the core of the MC's problems. It's easy to become complacent, pull out an OP ML who rescues the MC from all of her struggles, like an enjoyable, mindless dream.

But sometimes you get tired of reading about fairytales about characters who have cake fall into their laps with no effort at all (or bc they're just too beeeyooooteeefffurrrrr).

This is for those people.

Don't you feel that a heroine with her own pursuits and passions, someone who has worked so hard to achieve her own dreams, shines so much brighter than someone whose pursuits/passions/dreams lie in their most handsome/rich/powerful partner?

MINUS THE LAST CHAPTER, it's weird OOC and IC at the same time... but also just weird.

What I liked the most is that, even though everyone told her she can no longer dance because of her legs, she continued practicing as much as possible. Though, she had obsessively done that because she felt as though a part of her will return back to her if she proved that she can still dance (and that in reality, things would have taken way longer than shown in story) it was satisfying to see that she gained back her abilities through her hard work

when he actually sees her trying her best to walk, and discovers how different she is from the rumors, he falls in love with her.