Living to Suffer


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And his life had been but a prelude to these three things – a summer shower, a glimpse of inky reeds and one man.

Shen Liangsheng is lying in the dirt bleeding away when a doctor, Ch’in Ching, discovers the wounded man. This sets off a series of events, some the doctor expected and others that catches him off guard but are nonetheless all a part of destiny’s plans to pit these two men’s desires against their principles.

Associated Names
One entry per line
Related Series
Till Death Do Us Part (Sequel)
President Wife is A Man (1)
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Cold Sands (1)

Latest Release

Date Group Release
09/20/17 Chinese BL Translations c20
09/13/17 Chinese BL Translations c19
09/07/17 Chinese BL Translations c18
08/30/17 Chinese BL Translations c17
08/23/17 Chinese BL Translations c16
08/18/17 Chinese BL Translations c15
08/10/17 Chinese BL Translations c14
08/02/17 Chinese BL Translations c13
07/26/17 Chinese BL Translations c12
07/19/17 Chinese BL Translations c11
07/12/17 Chinese BL Translations c10
07/05/17 Chinese BL Translations c9
06/28/17 Chinese BL Translations c8
06/21/17 Chinese BL Translations c7
06/14/17 Chinese BL Translations c6
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5 Reviews sorted by

alexfilia rated it
August 9, 2017
Status: c13
From the first chapter you get this feeling this novel is going to have a not so happy ending Q.Q

The ml's motives for being with the MC are never made clear (or they will in later chapters?)

There is also the mc's vague illness along with that vague villain plan.... The only saving factor on this novel is the smut >.>
8 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
BeeShelf rated it
November 20, 2017
Status: c20
This story will definitely break your heart, therefor prepare extra napkins in case you need one. I'm still not over the story, and how it ended it was really sad. I'm feeling really emotional right now and I rarely do and that's saying something....

Read it with your own will. Sigh*

I wont spoiler anything. As fore the translation it was good. No problem in that area.
4 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
srrrahim rated it
September 4, 2018
Status: Completed
Don`t understimate the tragedy tag

wuwuwu this CN is too much. MC died without knowing that ML actually love him. Well, he give some clue to MC, but ML didn`t bluntly said that he love him. WHYYYY

hahhh, , overall, this novel is good. Not my favorite, but this is a good novel to spend time
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kiraluvst rated it
August 28, 2018
Status: Completed
It's. So. F**king. Good.

And heart-wrenching.


First of all, the novel is beautifully written and the translation is superb. Every word is carefully chosen.

Second, the MC who couldn't escape his cruel fate and faced it with his unique characters. Couldn't help but empathize with him but still kept questioning the truth behind his words and his original intention.

Third, the ML who suffered no less. I was so struck by his words at the last chapters:

... more>>

"After you die, I will live on.

Every bit of pain you suffer now was given unto you by me.

And I have witnessed it with my very eyes and memorized every bit of it.

From this day on, I shall remember it every day and dream of it every night.

So that I may live in pain every single day for the rest of my life."


Oh, God.

Prepare a lot of tissues, this story will leave a deep mark in your heart. You've been warned. <<less
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meridianna rated it
July 16, 2018
Status: Completed
i know it's tragedy but I still thought I would be immune to angst. I underestimated it. I thought I would be ok and all. the result? no it's not ok at all. I cried in the end. and be haunted by it (?) :' (
the plot is actually very nice. the supporting characters are great even the numbers are not many. tho the most redeeming thing is the couple. idk, the MC is just rly hitting in the heart. how he feels indifference toward the world, but in... more>> the same time cannot hate it coz ML is in it. and how ML gradually falls in love with him.... it... it.... it is so nice :' (
makes me jealous and envious *cough*
the smut is great. I swear it's really great. there's not many novels which smut scene is really comparable with the plot/story.

but that last smut really scarred me. pls...... I don't want another only-dream-smut scene like Kara no Shoujo 2. err I know I'm ridiculous to compare eroge with danmei. still, that kind of scene really gets me traumatized.


i know I will remember this in a veeery long time albeit only 20 chap.

and now, I should read the sequel to negate the angst :"" <<less
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