And, MR's core bursting, almost dying, last few chapters - PAIN PAIN PAIN. So much pain.

"Shizun, I want to hold up an umbrella for you, for the rest of your life." - Mo Ran

Me: I love reading. It's so relaxing.

Me, reading Husky and His White Cat Shizun: *cries, curses, throws phone to the wind*

Me: *sigh* So relaxing.

First of all, the best part of 2ha--besides the passionate, heartrending romance--is undoubtedly the character development. Mo Ran's character development is commendable, and I can give you it in a nutshell with a few of his lines throughout the novel.

He's vindictive in the beginning, harboring strong thoughts of revenge and violence and wanting Chu Wanning to suffer for his preconceived wrongdoings.

Mo Ran: "Chu Wanning... Hell is too cold, you're coming with me!" (I can't count how many times he said this throughout the novel.)

And after the secrets are revealed and things come to light that stayed hidden from him in the past life, he redeems himself, learns to love and forgive and cherish, and when Chu Wanning tells him that Hell is too cold and he is accompanying Mo Ran, Mo Ran's response was one that had me in tears. He tells Chu Wanning "The world is beautiful. Wanning, I don't want you to come with me." Do you see that? Do you see that development? I'm bawling.

I'm also impressed by the way everything, EVERY detail ties into the plot. Even the wontons which, by the way, I was not expecting... because I innocently assumed they were just wontons but NOPE even the food has meaning. The fact that Mo Ran shows he loves Chu Wanning with food is just *insert satisfied cat face here* And, like, even the CANDY has meaning???

And Mo Ran, goddamn, is just the most unreliable narrator ever (and that's what makes this novel extraordinary). I thought I knew everything there was to know about Mo Ran and SURPRISE, there's more secrets to him! Like, I trusted you??? I thought we had a protagonist-reader agreement where you tell me everything you know? And yes, Mo Ran, that includes even your own personal secrets. Honestly, the unreliable narrator aspect of this story may be its strongest plot tactic. We're forced to see from Mo Ran's POV so we're not given the whole, true, authentic story. And when everything is slowly revealed, it's catastrophic. We begin to question everything. The questions I had were what kept me reading. I thought this would be a typical rebirth-cultivation novel, but twenty chapters in and I'm like "huh, what else have you lied to us about, Mo Ran?" I wanted to see the truth and not Mo Ran's distorted version of reality.

Mo Ran's circumstances were like playing a game for the second time and discovering all the easter eggs LOL

I think what really drew me to this story were the themes it dealt with:

• • Unrequited love: I love this theme so much because it hurts and it hurts in an oddly good way lol. There's something so heartbreakingly sad about loving someone unconditionally knowing that they won't--or never will--return your feelings. I think there's a lot of selflessness in loving and doing good for someone who is oblivious to your feelings.

• • Sacrifice, unbeknownst to the party it benefits: Chu Wanning is the poster child for making sacrifices and putting himself in harm's way for Mo Ran, even if Mo Ran is completely oblivious to it. As long as the person he loves is safe and happy, Chu Wanning is content with hurting... and later on in the story
    Spoiler

    we see that this is also the case for Mo Ran, as he did something in the past that saved Chu Wanning that lead to the resounding events in the present.

    [collapse]

    They're just two idiots willing to hurt for each other.

• • Redemption: Mo Ran is a major as*hole in the first 100 chapters, but a calamitous event occurs that really makes him rethink his emotions, feelings, and life. And he does the right thing: He chooses to become a better person. I was literally squealing when he started making all the right choices instead of the wrong ones (yes, Mo Ran, you're my baby!). But the question here is: Are we ever truly free from our past choices and mistakes?

• • Antihero: I am so tired of the righteous and the just protagonists that do everything correctly and courageously and get to face-slap the villains. I love how flawed Mo Ran is. I love how deeply he can feel hatred, hurt, love, and fear. I love that at one point he was the villain. I love how he knows he's not a good person and he takes responsibility for fixing his ways. That right there is as close to human as you can get, and it's something we can all connect to.

• • The multifacetedness of life, stories, whatever: Mo Ran is so narrow-minded at the beginning, believing wholeheartedly in his side of the story and not making room for anything else, not even Chu Wanning's side of the story, so it's a slap in the face when Mo Ran AND the readers find out the harsh truth. I especially was enthralled with how even the side stories were not what they seemed like at first. We get a superficial glance at the side stories, and throughout the arc, detail by shocking detail is exposed and we end up with a deeper insight into the lives of the side characters, discovering that there's more to the story than what meets the eye. And it just goes to show that life isn't always what's in front of us. It's beyond, it's underneath, and other people have the puzzle pieces of our life story sometimes.

• • Forgiveness and grudges: I think forgiveness is a major theme. Between Chu Wanning on the verge of death telling Mo Ran to forgive himself and Mo Ran's mother telling him not to bear grudges (while also on the verge of death, I just realized oof), you begin to question whether it's worth holding all these grudges and need for revenge.

• • Forgoing toxicity for a healthy relationship: The past Mo Ran was like "consent, what's that? Love, what's that?" But after he betters himself as a person, he beautifully and sublimely respects Wanning, and their developing relationship afterwards is truly wholesome, between Wanning learning to accept that he can, in fact, be loved despite his flaws and his unbecoming temper and Mo Ran discovering that Wanning is probs the most adorable person ever and spoiling him with his favorite food.
• • People are much more than what they show on the surface: Chu Wanning, for example, is like aloe vera. Prickly on the outside, but all the gooey goodness is on the inside. Mo Ran really misjudged him in the past, thinking him to be heartless and cold; but in reality, he gave so much for Mo Ran and expected nothing in return. Also Shi Mei, who was portrayed as a one-dimensional white lotus but actually had more depth to him than I thought he would.
  • Love that surpasses time and space: I only have one sentence to sum this up, and it probably won't be understood unless you've read the novel-- "In the previous life, he loved a person deeply, and then that person gave his life and he went to hell. In this life, there was a person who loved him, and then it was discovered that person gave him life, a second chance to start over again in this world."

• • Mei Hanxue: Nothing, just Mei Hanxue.

In all honesty, if you're not emotionally prepared to read this novel then don't force yourself. Take care of your wellbeing and emotional state first. This story does tend to get heavy with themes of r*pe and genocide, and I understand that not all of us have to capacity to read about these dark acts of depravity. If you do eventually decide to read this story, enjoy the slice of life and beautiful themes this story has to offer, including one of the most emotionally-invested plots with the most complex web, like, ever. Everything is interconnected and the butterfly effect resounds throughout the novel. Speaking of the butterfly effect, can we talk about how well this novel implements Chekhov's Rule? The little, tiny things I didn't pay attention to eventually came to bite me in the ass later in the story (just like how Mo Ran's past came back to bite him in the ass, oof). Literally EVERY detail has meaning and pushes the plot forward. The White Pear Blossom Wine. The begonia handkerchief. The brocade pouch. These are just a few things that make multiple, minor appearances in the background, then you learn the backstory behind them--their symbolism--and it leaves you speechless.

My best piece of advice for you while reading this novel isn't even to have tissues by your side. It's to have a good eye and pay close, close, close attention to every detail. Even now, there are details that are barely coming together for me and making sense. Yes, I'm the type to wake up in the middle of the night and go "So that's what Chu Wanning meant when he said that!"

Okay, I'm going to shut up now and go read 2ha a second time.

***Edit: I see so many people comparing 2ha to MDZS and saying they're not going to watch "Immortality" (drama adaptation) because they already watched The Untamed, and it saddens me because 2ha honestly offers a unique and poignant, touching story of it's own. I keep it to myself because I know I will get hate for it, but I genuinely like 2ha more than I like MDZS. The characters and plotline resonates with me more deeply. You don't have to like it--I'm not forcing you to. But don't be a snob and comment harmful messages under Immortality videos that will steer the audience away because your biased outlook doesn't give you room for anything else. We should be supportive of all BL novels that happen to make it to the screen. Only this way can we see more widespread work like this and surpass boundaries. Thank you.

3/8/21: Rereading and some details are finally becoming clearer to me. I've always wondered what dream Chu Wanning had in chapters 40-49 that he was able to give them up and return to reality to save Mo Ran. His dream is never described in detail but he tells Mo Ran "Did you know, the most wonderful dreams are rarely ever real?" and there have been multiple times we're told that Chu Wanning thinks Mo Ran will never return his feelings; therefore, we can assume that the dream he had was one in which Mo Ran actually reciprocated his love, and he was able to wake from the dream because his belief that he's unlovable is so strong that he already knows it's impossible for Mo Ran to notice him.