I am honestly hoping the MC and ML's relationship just straight up fails. This is the first novel to make such an emotion emerge from me. Xie Bian's (Zong Ziheng's) past is extremely depressing due to a number of factors (which includes the ML), and I am amazed how he didn't break down much earlier. I have so much sympathy for him because almost the entire world was out to get him. Fan Wushe (Zong Zixiao), on the other hand, is way too possessive and clingy for my taste. I actually thought that if I were in Xie Bian's place, I'd probably commit suicide (a second time) after regaining my memories and after learning that a ton of people were just after my golden core. I don't care if the ML suffered in hell for 100 years. I'd off myself just to get away from him because of how often he said, "I won't let you escape from me."

I just feel appalled about how fixated the ML is, after learning the truth of the MC's supposed "betrayal, " in wanting to go back to the past without fixing the major problems in their relationship. The ML humiliated the MC and r*ped him so much in the past life. You can't just go back to before that happened as though those events didn't exist. Seriously, just let the MC go already if you really love him especially after he had asked multiple times! The ML insists on following MC wherever he goes and claims he'll do and allow whatever the MC wants except being able to leave him. I lowkey want the MC to just find a different lover to spite the ML. Every time it is written that ML feels his heart hurting (because of the pain he himself inflicted on the MC), I feel completely indifferent. This scenario sounds a bit like Rebirth: Degenerate s*ave Abuses Tyrant because the MC's half-brother in that novel literally tried to trap the MC by his side, claiming "Oh, I am the emperor now so I can make you happy." Only until the MC in R:DSAT was literally on his deathbed did the half-brother think, "I am causing him so much pain. I should let him go and give up 100 years of my happiness so that he'll only be happy in his next life."

characters:

mc: xie bi'an

ml: fan wushe

summary:

MC and ML used to be brothers and princes of the reigning dynasty in their past life. they were particularly close, but MC discovers a secret about the royal bloodline that forced ML into exile and fall from grace. as it turns out, ML is a bastard child and not a true son of the empror. ML is heartbroken and furious towards MC, thinking that this is a ploy to secure the throne. although MC didnt want to succeed as emperor, due to multiple infavourable cirucmstances (his own father trying to steal his core, trusted allies plotting behind his back, his mother pressuring him, etc), he is forced to upsurp the throne. ten years pass, and ML returns stronger yet blackened. he has two of the four heavenly treasures, and with them he reduces MC into a figurehead leader. MC understands that many people want his core, perhaps even ml, so he kills himself before anyone has the chance to steal it. ML goes on a rampage and tears open the netherworld trying to resurrect MC, but he is killed by the netherworld emperor.

a hundred years later, both MC and ML reincarnate. ML retains his memories, but MC does not. they become disciples of a netherworld master, and together work as the two wuchang. MC is lead to unravel what happened with his past lives. as he regains his memories, he learns that his core is special because he is the reincarnation of a god, therefore his core has the potential to ascend anyone who consumes it. once word got out, everyone starts to hunt for him once again. in the aftermath, MC and ML separate for three years, and in that time, ML got roped into overthrowing the order of the three realms. he retrieves his two heavenly treasures, but the in the process he glimpses into mc's past life and finally realizes that he had misunderstood MC the whole time. trying to make up for all his wrongdoings, he sticks to MC and and agrees to save mc's friend who had been kidnapped and held hostage in hell. in the end, they save the three realms and reconcile.

thoughts:

THIS IS A VERY LONG NOVEL AND I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS.

first, regarding their reconciliation. this part makes me feel very complicated because theres actually two parts to it: forgiveness and actually falling in love, each with varying levels of tact in how it was handled. although I love that they did eventually reconcile I personally wasnt The Biggest Fan of how it played out. at some point (during the hell arc) wushe behaved like a grown man-child and latching onto the dage-didi relationship they shared in the past because he knows bi'an is weak for that. his infantile behavior was... weird, to say the least. but it completely shocked me that it actually... worked?? bi'an somehow took it upon himself to 'save' wushe, and the way to go about that was to.... admit guilt? there was some sort of mental gymnastics that im still trying to understand in which the whole reason bi'an decides to forgive wushe is because he feels guilty for being unable to save wushe from the demonic path, and guilty for wushe's suffering in hell. all of which are not convincing reasons for why bi'an needs to feel guilt in the first place, and yet! he believes he 'owes' it to wushe in this lifetime to make it up to him. to be fair, this happened when they were under the threat of wushe completely blackening again, so I understand the sense of urgency, but still.

the 'falling in love' portion is more subtle since it was background noise to all the action and drama that was happening. but I think one of the biggest catalyst (or my favourite at least) is in that dream where his heart yearns for a loving romantic relationship with wushe. they both knew by then, that he loves wushe; although supressed for a long time, it was never contested at all. ever since then, I think he became more attuned to his fears of losing wushe everytime wushe faces a life or death situation. he always loved and cared for wushe throughout both lifetimes, but first he needed to overcome the big hurdle which is forgiving wushe, before he can heal and allow romance into his life.

we get to see a bit into their domestic life in the extras where wushes still trying to curry favour and trying not to step on landmines, though its pretty obvious that theres still a power imbalance between the two. this is wushe, and it wouldnt be fair to his character if he wasnt a manipulative bastard even in his happily ever after.

second, regarding bi'ans past relationship with his parents. all the parental figures in this novel suck ass, big time (except for zhong kui). I really wasnt a fan of how bi'an was so filial to his father and mother to a fault, even though he knows theyre both terrible people. this is a character flaw that, while realistic, really annoyed me for some reason. his mother dragged by the nose to the throne that he didnt want, pitted him against his own brothers that he loved, and stomped on the things that he cared for. bi'an exhausting himself having to drag his ass all over the world trying to give his mother a 'proper burial' even though she played him like a chesspiece when she was alive is nauseating to read.

on the other hand, wushe's relationship with his parents werent any better at all. I dont really understand wushe's mommy complex and how his mom of all things is the reason why he decides to go apeshit. he kept repeating how bi'an ruined his mom's reputation blablahblah and I just ?? in the flashbacks she didnt appear often so I guess its hard to feel empathetic, but afaik there was nothing special about wushes mom so I just dont get it. plus the absolute cherry on top was how wushe still looks up to his dad, the emperor, the person who deadass had his mother jailed and humiliated, and somehow he didnt think to blame his father instead??? speechless.

and third, regarding the plot and storetelling. overall the story was pretty engaging and considering it had a whopping 280+ chapters none of it dragged at all. the author really made full use of all the mythical elements in a traditional xianxia story that illustrates a rich fantasy world. the story was very ambitious, I love the use of reincarnation and samsara cycles, the concept of the three realms, and how the story followed the characters through multiple lifetimes.

there were some things that I wish couldve been expanded on, especially regarding gods and the 'jiutian' realm. it was only teased a bit but I really wanted to read about bi'ans past life as a celestial being and how he got reincarnated as a human in the first place. especially since a good chunk of the story is about his special godly core. my personal guess is that hes going through a heavenly tribulation and got sent to the mortal realm to experience pain and suffering. in fact, I think all reincarnations involving gods are meant to be like that since bi'an, lan chuihan, and that one-armed guy all lead tragic lives yet it was implied they were all gods in a previous life. this was one thing that I really wanted to know more about, but alas : (

the other thing that I had a really big gripe was how some of the character motivations were not well written at all? or just very confusing? like the three side characters with the love triangle going on was the most ????? since I could not for the life of me emphasize with any of them lol. it all just felt flat and plot device for the sake of plot device.

But ZZX is just. Nah bro. I totally can't find any likable traits for him at all. He's way too possessive and is always victimizing himself at some point. Not to mention how manipulative he is and turns the situation around and make ZZH seem like the bad guy. Also, I really didn't like the way the author tried to make ZZX pitiful in the end (maybe an attempt to make us like him more which is just... no. Didn't work. I still hate his guts. Oh, and not to mention how he tries to romanticize all those non-con moments they have and keep on reminding ZZH about those. Don't forget how he also says things like "Didn't you ever feel love for me when I forcibly pushed you down?" and crap. Just... what the hell. He is, by far, the worst character I've ever encountered. The rest of the novel is just a total letdown. I wondered why it had such low ratings and now I know why.

I actually kinda ship MC with a girl in a danmei novel hahaha. That girl is rather thick faced and is the one pursuing MC. She's also not a damsel in distress most of the time. Really lovable tbh

As for the translation, I read Corgi's tl as there's more ch, and it's quite good as most of the choice of words are great.

One thing to note, the amount of pinyin used. Some of them are indeed rather hard and odd to be translated in english, but there's a few where the tl is just a mix of pinyin and english, and after reading them, I'm just, 'what did I read again?' There are footnotes explaining them though.

Edit: It took me halfway until the translated ch to find out there's a glossary for all the ch and places and things which are in pinyin. Now I no longer need to get confused trying to remember which weapon they're talking about :')

(If you prefer lack of pinyin, you can read Ari's tl. Although I find some of the translation to be too direct? It's just preference tbh)

Another thing about the tl is a lack of prepositions in some places, and the use of quotation marks (") in places where it's not needed. Plus minor typos here and there. However, they're only minor things for me and doesn't bother me much in reading.

Oh, one thing though. There's this place or area (?) that's translated as Kyushu and I think it's not supposed to be translated as that since Kyushu is japanese. It's the name of an island in japan.

Honestly, I think it's better to read both tl (I think I'll do just that) to understand the story better. Since difference in tl can help you solve confusion in some places. There's a few differences in translation too. Not just choice of words, but in the meaning. Sometimes Corgi's sentences would sound weird, and I'd go to check on Ari's, vice versa.

All in all, both translations complement each other :D