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Living to Suffer
Type
Web Novel (CN)
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Rating(4.4 / 5.0, 247 votes)
5    69% (170 votes)
4    14% (35 votes)
3    9% (22 votes)
2    3% (8 votes)
1    5% (12 votes)
Language
Support Book (#ad)
Author(s)
One entry per line
Artist(s)
One entry per line
N/A
Year
Example: 2012
2015
Status in COO
Status in Country of Origin. One entry per line
20 Chapters (Complete)
Licensed
No
Completely Translated
Original Publisher
One entry per line
English Publisher
One entry per line
N/A
Release Frequency
Every 191.5 Day(s)
Activity Stats
[Graph]
Weekly Rank: #2000
Monthly Rank: #2336
All Time Rank: #4247
Reading List
[Graph]
On 4627 Reading Lists
Monthly Rank: #23426
All Time Rank: #1748

Description

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Shen Liangsheng is lying in the dirt bleeding away when a doctor, Ch’in Ching, discovers the wounded man. From then on, these two are in a doomed relationship since Ch’in Ching is fated to become a sacrifice. This sets off a series of events, some the doctor expected and others that catches him off guard but are nonetheless all a part of destiny’s plans to pit these two men’s desires against their principles.

Associated Names
One entry per line
Huo Shou Zui
活受罪
Related Series
Till Death Do Us Part (Sequel)
Recommendations
Cold Sands (5)
The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (4)
The Decade of Deep Love (3)
Encountering a Snake (2)
Till Death Do Us Part (2)
Gaze at the Scenes of Debauchery (2)
Recommendation Lists
  1. TBR Danmei
  2. Novel Recommendations
  3. Seems good
  4. Really decent
  5. Chinese Novels V1

Latest Release

Date Group Release
09/20/17 Chinese BL Translations c20 (end)
09/13/17 Chinese BL Translations c19
09/07/17 Chinese BL Translations c18
08/30/17 Chinese BL Translations c17
08/23/17 Chinese BL Translations c16
08/18/17 Chinese BL Translations c15
08/10/17 Chinese BL Translations c14
08/02/17 Chinese BL Translations c13
07/26/17 Chinese BL Translations c12
07/19/17 Chinese BL Translations c11
07/12/17 Chinese BL Translations c10
07/05/17 Chinese BL Translations c9
06/28/17 Chinese BL Translations c8
06/21/17 Chinese BL Translations c7
06/14/17 Chinese BL Translations c6
12
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48 Reviews sorted by


DiavoloDigitale
DiavoloDigitale rated it
November 4, 2021
Status: Completed
I liked it, I really did in my own special way, but I wouldn't go as far as to say it was one of the best things I've ever experienced. To my liking, there was simply too much smut, everything was too explicit, too aggressive, too forced. I unexpectedly liked the plot and found it pretty interesting, and the end was quite satisfying, despite being hinted at from the start. It's just that this type of novels is targeted at a specific audience, and, I'm afraid, I do not belong... more>> to it.

The novel's sincerity and vividness pleased me, and I found its seriousness and briefness refreshing as one easily gets tired from lengthy stories with barely any developments. It's just that such a combination of intimate scenes and angsty plot is too much for me too handle. The mood shifts all the time and my confused brain cannot decide if it should be h**ny or upset or disgusted or something else, especially when reading a few chapters in one sitting. I am also not a fan of love stories where love is pretty much a given from the outset and is simply predestined, not resulting from particular circumstances or character development. I just can't understand it, I can't feel truly sad for the characters as their love is so hard for me to grasp.

If you love your smut to be detailed and you love it in large quantities, this is for you. But if superfluous explicitness makes you confused and uncomfortable, I'd pass. The translation is really goof though, so kudos for the work done, it was a real pleasure reading such a well constructed text. <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
lanyons
lanyons rated it
March 9, 2020
Status: --
even the title should give you a pretty good indication of the sheer amount of angst there is in this one (followed by an unhappy ending). BUT it has the most beautiful prose style I've ever seen in a cnovel, which the amazingly talented translator somehow managed to render poetically. There are relatively few characters, which means that the author is able to delineate their personalities skilfully & in a fair amount of detail (when she talks about? How all shen liangsheng knew of love is an earnest expression? I felt as though I had been kicked in the face?) also, the plot & revealing of information is done really well, in a way that keeps the pace moving. &Amp; lastly? I actually ended up reading some of the smut for this one. It is most excellent ;)
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Lovelies
Lovelies rated it
November 30, 2019
Status: Completed
Really compelling and complex characters that you can't help but root for them and try to understand them. The story is beautifully tragic and the actual writing style is absolutely vivid and gorgeous. Even the summary itself is art.

It's short but does not feel rushed at all (a lot of other short stories fail to do this). It won't take too much of your time and this is definitely one of the better BL/Yaoi novels out there.

Smut is very well-written and interesting too :)
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
wistful
wistful rated it
February 26, 2019
Status: c20
Very tragic, very depressing.

Some tragedies happen when an innocent character does something, and their action snowballs into a ton of unintended tragic consequences. It's horrible things happening to innocent people.

In this story, both characters walked into tragedy knowing full well what was going to happen. They did it anyways because they were both raised from birth to follow a certain path and be loyal to a certain ideal. And I literally mean by birth, both characters were raised in a way to discourage attachments to others and ensure utmost loyalty... more>> to their respective causes.

When that is taken into account, were their fates inevitable? Or were there chances for both parties make a choices. Yes, no, maybe both?

To me, the true tragedy was what happens to ML...

Spoiler

In the end, he sacrificed his love for nothing. His sect is destroyed anyways. He loses both his home and his love.

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The entire story is interspersed with gratuitous smut scenes. They might seem sort of out of place at first, but they actually do a good job at showing how ML is slowly softening towards MC. <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
srrrahim
srrrahim rated it
September 4, 2018
Status: Completed
Don`t understimate the tragedy tag

wuwuwu this CN is too much. MC died without knowing that ML actually love him. Well, he give some clue to MC, but ML didn`t bluntly said that he love him. WHYYYY

hahhh, , overall, this novel is good. Not my favorite, but this is a good novel to spend time
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Xia_Sini_Nyanning
Xia_Sini_Nyanning
August 2, 2021
Status: Completed
For those who wants to find emotional rides, start with this then read the next sequel, Till Death do Us Apart.

I will start with my personal review on this. It took me a day to complete this.

It was good, to be honest, in a way, I've started out my danmei journey through wuxia and xianxia plots. Generally this does hit the spot for fluff and smut. Which made me feel very contented. That was what I needed. I needed the emotional rollercoaster. This one gave me 4/5 of the ride.

The... more>> romance in this story is more towards the push factor rather than pull (push and pull like the force). But because our MC was pre-destined to suffer that way. We've (reader) has gotten the flow at the middle part of the chapters. Which gave us the heads up for the impact.

What cushion the impact was the ML's realization of himself being capable to be love and love another.

Sadness was what concluded the whole series for me. <<less
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rayraybites
rayraybites rated it
May 8, 2021
Status: Completed
I second namio's review. Couldn't have written it better >.>

Tbh, at first, I was going to say this kind of work (kinky and edgy quality smut) is a dime a dozen on Archive of Our Own. But I couldn't say it anymore after I read its sequel. It was truly a beautiful story with unarguably the best translations I've ever read.

I didn't cry after the end of this book because kind of like how Achiless mentioned, it was short, although I wouldn't say it was too short. I think it's... more>> the perfect length and I couldn't have done anything better. The 20 chapters just weren't enough to fully resonate with the characters just yet. After I read the prequel though, there was no stopping my tears lol and I practically cried myself to sleep (I was reading late rip).

Anyways, this work isn't for you if you're not into heavy, elaborately woven themes. <<less
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pHantomRJ
pHantomRJ rated it
September 12, 2020
Status: Completed
I felt a little twitch in my heart after reading this book. Setting aside the smuts the story is rather good. I really felt sad when I read the last chapter.

These is the favorite line in the whole novel.

ーYou leave me with three words of ambiguity and I will return three of sincerity ー... more>>
Spoiler
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.

The last line by the ML literally brought my self-deprecating smile-

“grant me death” ➖

This book is really worth reading if you want to experience a little distress. I appreciate the author ’s work. You have my gratitude. I'm heading to the sequel now. <<less
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Cocole
Cocole rated it
July 6, 2020
Status: Completed
Beautiful love story. Translation is first class. Thank you author and translator for this wonderful piece of art.
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
wicketginger
wicketginger rated it
March 14, 2019
Status: c20
That was really good and really depressing all at once. It's a bittersweet feeling. The ending just makes you cry and hope there's a little tidbit to remove the sadness. How could he do it. It's just not fair. I hate it and enjoyed it all at once. I feel like crap now. Eff that ending!!
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
meridianna
meridianna rated it
July 16, 2018
Status: Completed
i know it's tragedy but I still thought I would be immune to angst. I underestimated it. I thought I would be ok and all. the result? no it's not ok at all. I cried in the end. and be haunted by it (?) :' (

the plot is actually very nice. the supporting characters are great even the numbers are not many. tho the most redeeming thing is the couple. idk, the MC is just rly hitting in the heart. how he feels indifference toward the world, but in the... more>> same time cannot hate it coz ML is in it. and how ML gradually falls in love with him.... it... it.... it is so nice :' (

makes me jealous and envious *cough*

the smut is great. I swear it's really great. there's not many novels which smut scene is really comparable with the plot/story.

Spoiler

but that last smut really scarred me. pls...... I don't want another only-dream-smut scene like Kara no Shoujo 2. err I know I'm ridiculous to compare eroge with danmei. still, that kind of scene really gets me traumatized.

[collapse]

i know I will remember this in a veeery long time albeit only 20 chap.

and now, I should read the sequel to negate the angst :"" <<less
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damnmei
damnmei rated it
September 1, 2024
Status: Completed
Reading these raving reviews makes me laugh because seriously did we even read the same novel?? Over half of this is just pure smut with zero emotional appeal, and the buildup to their s*xual relationship is questionable at best. Characters are so bland, and there's absolutely no romance beyond MC saying he's in love without any reasoning or emotional journey. It's literally just all sex??

The MC's feelings for ML really came out of nowhere, and ML has about as much emotional awareness or capability as a rock, so I honestly... more>> was not too invested in their relationship. I didn't even get to the point of tears despite the tragedy, as ML was just too emotionless to evoke any feelings in me. And I'm someone who cries easily!!

This novel is definitely written for smut scenes with plot built around it. It's very dense with the language used and I was impressed by the translation quality, but it's still just smut at the end of the day. I'm actually so disappointed, as there definitely was potential there but maybe the novel itself was just too short to actually provide any meaningful character development.

Spoiler

Also the fact that they used congee as lube in that one chapter traumatized me I can't lie. Going to be a while before I can eat congee again...

[collapse]
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fight_fan001298
fight_fan001298 rated it
July 22, 2024
Status: --
This is unarguably one of the best danmei ever written.

So full of symbolism, hidden meaning... and the tragedy is top-notch.

Huge thanks to the author and the translator for providing us with the opportuninty to read this masterpiece.
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
applepearls
applepearls rated it
July 21, 2024
Status: Completed
Okay, I am not new to the world of BL but I am new to danmei. This is the first danmei I have read. Finished this in 3 days. I will be honest, there are some things I did not understand (as this is my first danmei novel), despite that, this novel made me feel very heavy emotions. Even while reading the smut scenes, I felt sad and worried. Throughout the novel I kept feeling sad, bittersweet and mad towards both Ch'In Ching and Shen Liangsheng. I hate SLS's character... more>> with a passion. The story is not extraordinary or earthshattering but it was still entertaining. The reason I wanted to read more is because of how angsty it is. I did not cry but felt very sad for both the characters, especially CIC. If a movie/drama/novel is able to give me strong emotions, I tend to enjoy it a lot. The author has a very pretty and elegiac way of writing (which is always welcome!)

One complaint I have is that this had way too many smut scenes for such a short novel.

Here is my fav quote from the story: "And his entire life had been but a prelude to three things - a summer shower, a glimpse of inky reeds, and of one man"

My fav chapter was 20. Please give me reccs for a good and short danmei! <<less
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loneplum
loneplum rated it
February 22, 2023
Status: Completed
Stumbled across this when I was considering reading its sequel “Till Death Do Us Part”. And I was blown away. This was a really poetic piece of tragedy. Definitely worth reading when you need some angst.

Set in the cultivation world, a doctor helps heal a martial artist because of a chance encounter. One embraces and indulges in their passionate affair while the other finally feels his heart begin to stir. Their relationship is heartbreaking as the reader knows how their fates will end.

Really love how the dialogue and even the... more>> lack of dialogue between the the couple carry a deeper meaning.

In this story, the highs are high and the lows are low - there’s hot smut but the ending hurts. <<less
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claus2
claus2
January 10, 2022
Status: Completed
Read this! It ends badly but their new lives will be amazing to read in the sequel! I recommend this story for its amazing translation and writing style, and also the smut is hot lol

You can also only read the sequel if bad endings are not for you, but their souls will have their happy ending :)
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
kaytiti
kaytiti rated it
October 30, 2021
Status: Completed
Smut alone merited 5 stars.

Translation merited 6 stars! Smut is smut but here's somehow better. Description, stylistic devices, vocabulary and imagery use in this translation made me felt somehow these scenes were sensually different to other smut I've read before.

Besides it's a tragedy 💔 it's really worth reading. The plot is "deep" and mysterious till the end. Sure it's "tragedy" for me to express with my basic English! 🤪 I'll read the sequel when have time. Happy just to know the translator had lived in Quebec for a short while and... more>> has learned French too! <<less
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Andcro
Andcro rated it
January 17, 2021
Status: Completed
Absolutely heartbreaking. The translation is goals and I had to read it twice just to truly appreciate every detail.

Both MC and love interest are amazing deep characters. You fall in love with them instantly. Is so short but it truly feels like a breathing vivid world where you just want to know more. For sure I’m going to read the next one.
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Fluffy From Flufferland
Fluffy From Flufferland rated it
January 3, 2021
Status: Completed
I... I usually love tragedies but I rarely find one worthy of giving full rating but this... This is a book that will resonate deep in my mind for years to come.

Its deep and the emotions are so natural, the flow of the story is smooth so much so that I felt like I was watching the characters from the sidelines inside the story.

The relationship between the characters and how they really do live to suffer is portrayed in a most wonderful way.

I rarely give high praise but... This book... more>> deserves all the praise I could give. For a short few chapters it held a roller coaster of emotions within.

I recommend it to anyone who loves tragedies and do prepare your tissues and for an unforgettable experience.

Wonderful writing, wonderful Translation. <<less
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RUNIHURA
RUNIHURA rated it
April 6, 2024
Status: --
Okay, let's get a few things straight first.

I don't hate this story, I hate a character in this story.

I love the writing style, my most favorite line being "And his life had been but a prelude to these three things – a summer shower, a glimpse of inky reeds, and one man.". The idea of being born, living life no matter how happy or sad only for one moment that is to meet the one for you is so beautiful. But I hate, hate, hate Shen Liangsheng. Don't get me... more>> wrong, throughout the novel I, much like others loved the guy. I thought he had a strange unspoken charm/rizz and whatnot but he is just an idiot.

Spoiler

So let me get this straight, Shen Liangsheng hung his lover to bleed to death for 7 days straight for some evil lord guy he didn't even remotely share a relationship with for what? For his sect? For the sect that will have his back? He was forced to? He didn't have a choice? No, he killed the MC by choice, he didn't for a second resist, didn't for a second think. He killed him on his own accord and then he comes and says "I will remember the pain I have caused you and live in suffering bleh bleh bleh" What am I supposed to do feel bad? Yeah okay. I loved the writing style I loved the unorthodox MC and I liked Sheng Liangsheng but not anymore. And he is even more intolerable in the second book.

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