I really like the young omyouji. noo don't die pls.....!

ML really has that standard toxic men mindset. (He is a walking red flag) Throughout the novel, he uses 'rape' or 'gangr*pe' as a joke so casually. There is a r*pe/non-con scene between the main couple. Even ML is aware he r*ped MC out of sheer anger but he never got any repercussions and neither did MC ever fault him for what he did or even bring it up. (Dude didn't even apologize ONCE). At one point, he also confines MC for his "safety" against MC's will.

I feel like the imbalance in their relationship is what throws me off. ML is lowkey manipulative. He knows MC has abandonment issues. He even knows that ever since MC agrees to marry him, he's become MC's entire world. He knows that despite the calm and cold façade MC puts up, deep down he's just a broken and fragile little birdie yet continues to treat him like shit. His "love" is something more akin to an unhealthy obsession.

One of the scenes that really pissed me off is when MC is about to give his all and sacrifice himself, he asks ML that 'if he's gone, will ML be waiting for him to return' (He's a phoenix so he can basically be reborn at any time). And for some reason, ML replies that if MC is gone then he won't be waiting for/wanting him anymore. WTF??? WHAT WAS THE REASON?? Then later when MC is for real dying he begs MC not to leave and confesses that what he said back then was a lie, but y'know what... that lie has been stuck in MC's mind and has been haunting him so badly because he truly believed he's yet again abandoned by the person he loves.

Apart from being a shitty partner, ML is also an absolute wreck of a father. So the story goes that a prophecy is told that MC will give birth to 2 sons who will be his doom. And he does indeed have 2 sons (with ML) but despite the prophecy, he loves them very much. That is until the first son starts going bat-sh*t crazy and eventually leads to every catastrophe as foretold.

You will realize at the end that this whole novel can be summed up as "Dysfunctional family doesn't know how to communicate for sh*t and the Oedipus complex". So MC's inner demon is the fact that he couldn't protect his son from the divine punishment, but he puts the blame on his husband for not trying to protect him and even stopping MC from doing it. In the end, this is justified by MC's "epiphany" that no child should bear the parents' feelings, and neither should the parents sacrifice all they have for their child... which, is a fair point I do agree with myself. However, MC says that ML realized this long ago so that's why he sort of gave up trying to save his son. I honestly rolled my eyes at this cause, yes true, you don't need to sacrifice all for your kids but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do the bare minimum as a parent.

I feel like ML never wants kids specifically because he fears the prophecy. And when his kids were born, he recognized the feeling of jealousy and envy he feels because his lover's attention is taken away from him. Strangely enough, both he and his kid were jealous of each other. (What in the Freudian theory is this). There was not a scene where ML's love for his children was shown. When his first kid grew up to be violent and consumed by envy and jealousy, he recognized that he inherited such a tendency from him, a demon. Yet he didn't do shit. Maybe things would've been a little different if you had acted like a father and given parental love to your child for once?? Ever thought of that? Their logic was so flawed. Kid treated like sh*t at home and neglected by father is now violent? Oh no... welp guess we're giving up on this one now. 🤦‍♀️

And we know for a fact, fate can be changed. Just like how it was changed when MC saved ML's life. I feel like they didn't even try as a parent, especially considering the power and position they had back then. I honestly feel bad for the kids, especially the second son. He was a good boy (as good as he can be with such parents in a dysfunctional family). It broke my heart when we learn all he's ever wanted was just a normal family time where they can hang out without attempting to slit each other's throats. I can come to terms with Zhou Hui not being able to mend his relationship with Muohe but what reasons did he even have to not get along with Jialouluo (Apart from the s*upid 'he's basically discounted me' bullcrap).