congratulations, you are about to meet someone with worse bed habits than Taxian Jun.

Our MC He yu is suffering from a rare mental disorder. So due to that he is blood thirsty. His inner personality is very twisted and dark. There will be many times that you want to slap him hard across the face. He r*pe the ML and I know that it is unforgivable, but forgive me, I love him. I don't know how to describe it but he is very pitiful. He went through too much since the day he was born. So anyone who expect the MC to be perfect and spotless shouldn't read this. Don't see him with your eyes, because I can be sure that he didn't live the life you lived and if he didn't act in the ways he did under those circumstances with his personality, it will be out of character. Meatbun is someone who deeply consider her character's feelings and do justice to them. So don't try to say that he shouldn't be like that and just drop the novel. Because that is the way of the story. It shouldn't be changed to the likings of the readers. Readers should change the novel.

The ML Xie qing cheng was the ex doctor of the MC and later he became a professor. He will be the most stubborn, calm and cold character you will ever meet in the danmei history. But there is a reason behind it which is really painful. He is little too responsible and fatherly and it led him to a divorce which I think is the s*upidity of the wife. ML suffers because of everyone around him including his lover, but bears them with a numb heart. It is hard to watch the way he go through them with a steel hard heart and unreal calmness. You will definitely love him and admire him but you will also get frustrated because of his stubbornness.

So this is the point where I lose control. Their relationship is a love-hate one. But it is not that simple either. Their love is very complicated and slow. I got frustrated, and angry on the way of reading the novel, but in the end, when I remince about their moments since the very start, my heart fills with a indescribable emotions which are very real. So the both of them claim themselves to be straight all over the novel but the smut is really good lol. The MC He yu (younger gong) falls in love first. The ML Xie qing cheng (older shou) rejects and says that it is dependance and is indifferent. But Heyu refuses and keep convincing his love and at some point xqc also finds himself in love with Heyu who is 13 years younger than him. But he is in no place to start a relationship and hides his feelings and heartlessly rejects He yu. But when he wants to hold his hand it is too late. This is only the beginning. After so many backs and forth and after so many endless tears, pain and suffering they both realise their love for each other. The steel hard straight ml's heart moves and softens over and over again for the cute little devil. So for the first time he stops being selfless and starts living for himself and for the love of his life which is so satisfying. This is only a bit of their love. It grows and dies again and again with the ups and downs of the interesting plot.

the new doctor is ML’s cousin... on his dad’s side. So he seemingly inherited the same eyes from his uncle’s wife who’s not blood-related to him.

ML’s sister should have been 13 when she met MC for the first time, but she acts like she’s the same age as MC (who is 8 at the time). She squeals in excitement over getting to wear a Disney princess costume as her regular everyday clothing, and doesn’t understand why MC isn’t as excited as her when ML tells him to wear a poofy princess dress too.

Another age inconsistency: Chen Man is described as being in his early twenties, hardly older than MC. So even if you assume he’s 24 (the last year you can reasonably be considered “early twenties”), that means when ML’s parents died (the same year MC was born), Chen Man was only 4 years old. But he somehow has fond memories of spending many years being raised his older brother (a police officer who died shortly after ML’s parents). I guess maybe you could argue that he just kinda created a vision of his brother in his head, but it felt weird reading it because their strong brotherly bond was emphasized so much and it was very downplayed that they were like 20 years apart in age.

And yet another one: MC’s parents weren’t married yet when his mom got pregnant with him, the reason being that MC’s dad was too young to legally get married, but planned to do so as soon as he was of age. Yet at that time, MC’s dad was already the CEO of a big pharmaceutical company that was doing groundbreaking research on many diseases and medicines.

ML has his eyeballs removed by the bad guys and is therefore blind, but after they defeat the bad guys and he wakes up in the hospital, the good guys convince him to keep living by showing him a video of MC standing silently at his fake grave.

a pill that gives ML superpowers finds its way into his prison food. And the villain brings a character who was fairly important to ML’s family is brought back from the dead, even though that character’s existence was never mentioned before in the first 230 chapters of the book.

The conflict of the murders and RN13 plot feels like it fights to be the main conflict with the love conflict between He Yu and Xie QingCheng which is not necessarily bad, but feels like a lot of back and forth and goes from the seriousness of death to He Yu and XQC dealing with illness to He Yu pouting over their relationship. It's a lot to go back and forth between and I had to take breaks between chapters often just to get myself back on track with whatever was happening next.

seeing the way he refuses to hurt others except Xie Qingcheng (he'll regret hurting him), due to his confused feelings for him.

The story is extremely slow-burn, and at the core of it, it is a story about redemption. How two broken people destroy each other but finally find redemption in the other. The characters development are really satisfying, both become a better self because of each other at the end of the story. And it's a HE.. HE!!

Seems to be an unpopular opinion here, but I love his character. Yes, Xie Qingcheng is not obligated to love him, and in true selfish-younger-man-has-a-love-hate-complex-with-indifferent-older-man-with-established-position-in-society fashion (a surprisingly common trope), a good amount of his life is thrown into disarray by He Yu, and specifically He Yu's pursuit.

But I think the genius in He Yu is the messaging behind his actions, both the bad (very bad) and the good. His unhealthy attachment to Xie Qingcheng completely makes sense given his life experience and the RN-13 in him that makes him extremely dangerous and volatile when emotional. Just like how people react to criminals with mental disorders granted asylum out of consideration for their circumstances, many readers will probably be resentful of He Yu's eventual happy ending, believing that he doesn't deserve the leniency that he gets.

Xie Qingcheng has lived a life so tragic it's almost impressive, especially that he managed to have all that happen in thirty some years. He Yu, by comparison, seems like he's throwing a hissy fit over something trivial. However, an utter lack of love is not trivial. There have been so many stories of how children deprived of affection develop severe mental trauma, and when exacerbated with the whole drug business, would totally result in someone as unstable as He Yu. With regards to their relationship specifically, I don't think Xie Qingcheng has done anything wrong and shouldn't have been treated like that--it's really the Mandela Organization's fault, for intentionally ruining his mental state in so many ways to weaponize him. You can say that Qingcheng deserves better, but I understood their relationship to be that of two misunderstood individuals who will never have the chance to be as close to anyone else in the world as they are with each other. They will always have a connection, no matter how twisted, and I interpreted the story as them untangling all the knots and aiming to get rid of all that buried toxicity. Is it painful? Extremely so, but their circumstances force their hands. I can't help but feel pity for these two who should've had a much kinder ending.

He's a rapist. He's self-centered, often cruel, and blinded by his own emotions. He's a bad person. But he was made that way, by the people who never gave him a chance not to be a monster. I think that's meatbun's message about mental illness in this story, one that should be shared by more people.

it's happy ending, don't worry. After so much pain it's worth it

You need to believe He Yu, also the last chapters before end it's absolutely crazy get prepared for tissue

I actually can't see why they even get together? There's some love-hate banter in the beginning that was not bad but after chapter 30, it spirals downhill (no thanks to HY) and there's absolutely no chemistry between the leads. At chapter 100+, while HY is currently crazy over XQC, I can't see why XQC would EVER fall for him. Maybe something happens in the next chapter that I'm not reading. But I'm not seeing it. And I don't even hate the characters individually. Minus the atrocities HY does (hello multiple r*pe by chapter 100), he's a really tragic character and the people around him are just terrible to him (yes, even XQC). XQC is equally tragic and author do tend to write the shou's in a slightly more tragic, martyr fashion. So the leads are toxic to each other, no chemistry, and I cannot see why they even like each other.

yeah I don't like XX. She just hits the wrong buttons in the scenes she are in (basically crying and complaining) even though she isn't doing anything remotely wrong. Also the one scene where she scolds HY "psychopath" right after the vid of XQC saying bad things about mental patients comes out just left a bad taste in my mouth. In fact up till chapter 100, CM was the most okay side character.