Thrive in Catastrophe


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This story is about a rookie researcher, who was forcefully dragged away from his restful life, compelled into facing various killers and zombies, always having to risk his life at the brink of death, and finally becoming an advanced researcher that is acclaimed by all. And throughout his adventure, he met an alluring(?) killing machine, who he started to have fantasies on after they had an accidental kiss…

Xiao Yan: Did I fall for him? But he’s a man!

Maya: Who knows…. maybe it’s the other way round?

Associated Names
One entry per line
Related Series
Saving Unpermitted (8)
Quickly Wear the Face of the Devil (8)
Back to the Apocalypse (8)
My Cherry Will Explode in the Apocalypse (7)
The Invasion Day (7)
Dominion’s End (6)
Recommendation Lists
  1. 100 Most Popular BLs on Novel Updates
  2. 10/10 Danmei
  3. Stories that I might read again
  4. BL - Horror/Unlimited Flow/Apocalypse/World Hoppin...
  5. my all time favourite novels

Latest Release

Date Group Release
06/26/19 dealeigh c100 extra 2 (end)
06/16/19 dealeigh c99 extra 1
05/31/19 dealeigh c98 part3
05/28/19 dealeigh c98 part2
05/18/19 dealeigh c98 part1
05/16/19 dealeigh c97
04/28/19 dealeigh c96
04/09/19 dealeigh c95
03/23/19 dealeigh c94
02/28/19 dealeigh c93
02/13/19 dealeigh c92
01/30/19 dealeigh c91
01/17/19 dealeigh c90
01/01/19 dealeigh c89
12/24/18 dealeigh c88
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144 Reviews sorted by

Stray rated it
June 25, 2020
Status: c100ex2
I found it necessary to do a counter attack to some part of other reviews. I am, by no means, attacking any of the people who wrote reviews (it's fine not liking something, we all have different tastes!) but I just really want to point out some things about this plot that others seem to have missed - or maybe even misunderstood. Especially, I wanna explain why I think that Heine, the main love interest, is extremely gentle and caring person.

First of all, I was reading the novel while it... more>> was still being translated and at moments I've also hated some of the things in it, but by the time I finished the novel I've realized just how much they made sense. Since then, I've reread it many time and it's definitely one of my favorite novels.

The plot is amazing, the world building is amazing. There is a satisfying amount of BL, all while having a good and exciting plot that progresses beautifully.

The main character, Xiao Yan, is very interesting. He starts as weak, a person who is intelligent but never left his comfort zone. Through the story, that changes and he eventually becomes stronger and goes out of his boundaries.

Someone mentioned that Xiao Yan has s*upidly low IQ when it comes to relationship and other people. While this might have been the main reason while the romance progressed so slow, I was never frustrated by it, not even once. Xiao Yan is super smart guy, but he has his flaws. His only friend is Casey, he liked spending his time playing games and listening to music, as well as exploring old mechanisms from older books (that is mentioned somewhere at the beginning). He is almost a loner, so it's not really surprising that he is not good when dealing with other people and romance, as he hasn't experienced love either. He was straight to begin with, and it never occurred to him that another man could come to like him - especially a man like Heine Burton, who is basically a legend, and Xiao Yan is, what, a rookie researcher who never made it past B grade? He can't understand why someone like him would be so special to Heine, whom he admires so much. And, sure, he fails to notice some things that are obvious to reader - but there is a reason why he never made it past B grade before meeting Heine, right? He overlooks some things, fails to notice important stuff, and it's only when he decides to improve himself that he actually advances - in his research and understanding of Heine's feelings.

There's been a mention of how Xiao Yan has brought trouble onto himself. I don't think he ever brought trouble onto himself? Like, the more he advanced in his research, the more the enemy targeted him (because his research became a threat to them). It's rather logical thing to happen and I don't see what's the issue here. There have been instances where he got in trouble because of his naivety, but he helped everyone get out of it rather quickly, using the knowledge he had and improvising when needed.

It was mentioned that people blame him and that he suffers willingly? Honestly, I fail to see that. While reading, all I've ever noticed was people supporting him, encouraging him when he was being hard on himself, telling him everyone makes mistakes and praising him whenever he made amazing progress in his research.

Then, there comes ML, Heine, and everyone complains about him being cold, abusive and forceful. I can argue with this day and night, because Heine is extremely careful and GENTLE towards Xiao Yan. Yes, you heard me, gentle. For some reason, everyone seems to forget about the virus in his body. It's mentioned few times that SEF soldiers have much stronger sexual desires than ordinary humans and that their urges and strength are much more difficult to control. The difference in their strength and desire can harm an ordinary person. And Heine NEVER puts him at risk or does anything that can hurt him.


They do eventually get together and have s*x when Xiao Yan gets stronger.


Indeed, he invades Xiao Yan's mind through the terminal and has s*x with him in his subconscious, but again, have in mind that, with the virus in his body, he is struggling with controlling himself. Maybe, if he didn't do it in Xiao Yan's subconscious, he'd end up losing his control in reality and that would cost Xiao Yan his life.


Every time he invaded Xiao Yan's mind, it was after something extreme happened. It was always when he was at the verge of losing it.


He is STRUGGLING to cope and he is trying to keep control the only way he can. I'm not justifying him, but he is also human and has his flaws. But even though he can't contain his desire for the rookie, he does everything to keep him safe and he is very, very gentle towards him. He keeps him safe, he tries not to hurt him... he comes out as rough, but it's the virus in his body. He grabs Xiao Yan's hand with intention to hold it gently, but the gesture comes out as a grip.

Heine is reserved, a man hardened by battle, but he never once treated Xiao Yan with disdain. We only get glimpses of Heine's mind through the story and it is at the very end that you get to understand him and his actions better.

Someone mentioned Heine dislocating Xiao Yan's shoulder because others have flirted with him.


The one who tried to seduce Xiao Yan was a SEF soldier. Xiao Yan almost gave in, and if he did, the s*x with the female SEF soldier would have cost him life. What Heine did there was remind him of the consequences that he seemed to keep forgetting. A rough way to teach someone a lesson, yeah, but Heine is a soldier, and military's way of teaching lessons is never gentle. Again, Heine wasn't never punishing him for having interest in someone else, although, without doubt, there was some jealously included.


Someone also mentioned Heine crushing Xiao Yan's body while invading his mind.


A lot of assaulting in Xiao Yan's mind has been done to warn Xiao Yan. Later we find out that Heine has been trying to keep distance, but Xiao Yan kept trying to make this cold soldier notice him. In their subconscious, Heine loses his control, but it's likely that crushing happens because he wants to show Xiao Yan what are the consequences.


It was mentioned that Heine sends fantasies into Xiao Yan's mind and that it's done delibaretelly.


It isn't, actually. The hallucinations can be evoked on purpose, but they can also happen when SEF soldier isn't able to contain his desire. This is why hallucinations happen when Heine and Xiao Yan are alone.


Someone said Heine got addicted to Xiao Yan after Xiao Yan kissed him by accident. That's not true.


You can clearly see that Heine has started falling in love after visiting Xiao Yan's mind for the first time, when the rookie trapped himself in his own subconsciousness. The subconscious of a human is dark, distorted place, and Heine came in expecting to see hell, but what he was met with a peaceful place and one extremely innocent, pure soul. That pure soul is what Heine fell in love with.


Some may say that Heine invading Xiao Yan's mind was the reason why Xiao Yan, who was originally straight, developed feelings for this tough soldier. But, when you think about it, isn't it Xiao Yan who is always chasing Heine? Heine tries his best to keep distance, but Xiao Yan keeps trying to make Heine look at him - and it pushes Heine into losing control. Xiao Yan is fascinated by Heine from the very first moment he sees him.

So I say, all he ever did was trying to keep Xiao Yan alive - from other SEF soldiers, from the enemy and, especially, from himself. Through the book, you can clearly see how Heine is struggling to keep his urges (again, heightened by x-virus in his bbody) and jealousy in control, but knowing it's impossible to suppress it completely, he deals with it the only way that won't harm Xiao Yan - and that is through mind invading. I'm not saying it's justified, but man, he is on the verge of breaking.

I can say so much more about this novel - and I apologize if I repeated something too much. Again, I'm not criticizing anyone who wrote reviews, I only wanted to try explaining some things the way I saw it. I absolutely hate abusive love interests, and as I said in the beginning, there were moments I hated while reading, but that I came to understood as I finished the novel. Now I love these moments when rereading this book. <<less
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Kikiji rated it
September 3, 2018
Status: c30
Honestly I can't read this anymore. There's just so much wrong with the story- small things that build up and leave me disgusted. I can't even get into all of the intricacies of it, such as the unhealthy relationship tendencies shown or how incompetant and flawed the humans in this world have become.

What bothers me the most involved Xiao Yan, the MC. First of all, he has absurdly low IQ when it comes to relationships, observing other humans, and discerning their motives. Xiao Yan belongs to the category of 'MCs... more>> who end up misunderstanding so much that the situation is pulled out for far longer than necessary' and his horrible lack of judgement is killing me. The first translator once mentioned that he brought trouble onto himself and that is true in 80% of the situations. Which is even more frustrating considering how intelligent he is supposed to actually be. (That part of him was, admittedly, shown off very well by the author. It's easy to accept that he's a very capable and talented individual. It's not easy to accept how foolish he can be once faced with actual people.)

So I mentioned that he brings trouble onto himself in 80% of the situations. What's the other 20%? Well from my perspective, the author's being a jerk to him, to put it lightly. Everyone seems to be the hardest on him. No matter who's fault it is, people blame him and he suffers for it. And surprisingly? He suffers willingly. The MC doesn't see anything wrong with it. Albeit, he might grumble a bit, but that's the extent of it. This is especially so towards the ML, Heine. And wow do I have much to say about him. I honestly can't see the appeal to him but for some reason, cold, abusive, and forceful MLs are the trend. It's like everything's waived as long as he has a pretty face, power, and "love" for the MC. I cannot for the life of me understand why the MC feels attracted to this guy when he treats the MC with disdain (at the very least, it would appear that way to him since Xiao Lan wouldn't know if Heine had feelings for him unless it was shoved in his face by the man himself) and physically harms him. For crying out loud Heine dislocates the MC's shoulder because OTHER people have flirted with him. Ok, so one instance of it was indeed the MC doing the flirting but that's 1 out of 4. And the fact that Heine would punish the MC for having an interest in someone else shows that Heine has no respect for him. Like. Listen. Assaulting your crush because they like someone else, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU AREN'T IN A RELATIONSHIP AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU LIKE HIM, isn't how it's done.

(I'll finish writing this when I get the chance.... Basically, when I skimmed the reviews I didn't see any low stars and assumed that no one talked about the blatant flaws in the story. Idk maybe I'm alone in my disatisfaction?) <<less
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Bloodline rated it
August 18, 2017
Status: Completed
A very satisfying read.

Interesting Characters, both main and side Characters.

A well developed world setting and story.

And last but not least many fluffy and not so fluffy moments between the MC and the ML ;)

If the tags interest you I would really recommend giving this novel a try :)
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xiin rated it
November 9, 2017
Status: Completed
A really well-built world, perhaps a bit cliched but everything flows well, ML & MC are both likeable and have depth, there is significant character growth in MC's part. There's no glaring plot holes (heh) and there's philosophical life concepts to the story beyond just being fluff, very befitting of an apocalypse novel.

Read the first 15 chapters in english, followed by MTL - the author's writing is amazing; and the translations manage to convey that well too.

Like other reviewers... there's a good amount of sexual tension/flirting, but also a... more>> satisfying amount of sexual content - not overdone, but there.

MC's growth is one of the best parts of the story. He really transforms himself, and following his journey as he comes to every one of his decisions that leads to his own growth is very satisfying. ML's support is also there, but not overwhelming. <<less
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Tachi Works
Tachi Works rated it
February 27, 2019
Status: c39
The story is very well written, and the observation that the MC is intelligent is well supported by his intelligent actions and rationale. It's only the "romance" aspect of this novel that makes me extremely uncomfortable.

It's almost dehumanizing, and doesn't regard basic human rights in the fact that ML clearly coerces the MC with mind control to think about him.

Also the MC seems dense when it comes to the ML despite his high intelligence, but that's due to severe gas-lighting eg;

ML invades MC's mind when MC is sleeping/awake/talking to friends... more>> by giving him vivid sexual hallucinations and planting suggestion in his mind, leading MC to believe these are his OWN thoughts, despite being abusive to MC in person for apparently no reason. <<less
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Pixil rated it
September 2, 2017
Status: c7
I rated this 5 stars initially and boy do I regret it.

I loved the premise of this... I liked the main character's personality too, but I couldn't stand the main "relationship" anymore. I tried to like Heine (ML) but he's revolting imo. The fact that the MC somehow doesn't find him so boggles me. ML is an unreasonable pervert and I say that in the worst possible way. Is physically violating a person worse than doing it to them mentally, with them being practically powerless to escape as it happens... more>> inside their mind?


Heine likes MC so mind raping him is okay??? ML can go into MC's mind and defile him there, but MC is unaware that ML does it on purpose so MC thinks he dreamt it himself. Iirc there was one where MC's body was practically crushed in the "dream". ML does this violation more than a few times and it just doesn't sit right with me. Somebody invading your mindscape, basically forcing you to experience something since you're unable to tune it out? It's horrifying. Perhaps the ML has special circumstances, but is what he does truly something that can be excused?


I wish I wasn't a sucker for zombie novels so that I wouldn't have read it till there were more chapters and thus all the appropriate tags added.

I think I was especially horrified by this because I went in blind and thought that the relationship would be fluffy/angsty/flangsty as is typical in the novels I've read. I guess my bottomline is a liked character being an unsuspecting victim to r*pe, by the person they're supposed to end up with in particular. <<less
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lumiere rated it
August 16, 2017
Status: c3
As of now this novel is making me really exited.

The story is about after the apocalypse, when the world has kind of settled down.

The world building is well written for what I can judge with 3 chapters. So even for non-BL reader it should be enjoyable I feel.

The first male protagonist (Xiao Yan) is quite cute in his actions and the second male protagonist (heiner) is a block of ice but very handsome.

... more>>

and the third chapter is kind of raising the flag for very very hot... (ahem) moments between our protagonists


The translation is very good too, so thank you translator.

Overall I am waiting impatiently for the other chapters. <<less
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ike_00000 rated it
August 14, 2019
Status: Completed
MC AND MLS RELATIONSHIP IS NOT AT ALL AS BAD AS SOME COMMENTERS MAKE IT SEEM. I also read other people's comments, and I regret that it deterred me from this story for a long time. I'm hoping to give another perspective to avoid others making my mistakes.

Characters: 4.5/5

I really love the MC and his development. He starts off quite weak and ordinary, but he becomes incredible and strong and we see his growth every step of the way. He's smart and not afraid to move forward. Furthermore, the ML... more>> supports him and pushes him onwards. He protects MC but doesn't coddle him, and instead believes and trusts him and helps him accomplish his dreams. I really really love that about their relationship, since many other stories have MLs that don't believe in their partner or just keeps them in their cage. In this story, it's ML that leads him into the world, and it's this as well as MC's trust and reliance on him that develops their feelings.

Now about the controversial topic of their relationship.


First of all, I think ML's self-control is praiseworthy. The premise of the story is that their body type experiences uncontrollable sexual urges, and yet ML holds himself and reins him in every time because he doesn't want to hurt MC. The hallucinations MC sees, that's not ML's fault at all. Like one of the characters said, "he can stop himself from f*cking you but he can't stop himself from wanting to" (in maybe not exact words).

Next is ML's jealousy, and honestly he's not really a jealous character at all, especially compared to typical MLs of other stories. He doesn't stop MC from getting close to his friends and building relationships with others of any gender, including a friendship with his goddess or play flirting with others. The thing about the dislocating his arm was to use pain to help MC break free from the hallucination he was trapped in and to warn him to be careful in future situations. The decisive action is more due to his character than jealousy; he would've acted the same for another comrade even if he didn't love them.

Lastly is the thing about the subconscious. The reason he always went is mostly because he enjoys the peace and calmness of the place, as he said, and not because he was trying to manipulate MC's feelings. He went for the environment, but the things that happen there were mostly the initiative of the MC. At that point, ML is heartbroken that MC won't be able to remember anything that occurred, and due to his physique none of this can happen in real life, so he uses pain as an anchor point so MC can feel that even in that fake reality Heine is there.

However, although I've defended ML a lot, after they have reciprocatory feelings I'm kinda unsatisfied. Like I know he's controlled himself so much that everything starts to break loose and he really can't stop himself, but he's still way too rough lmao, even if it turns out that MC likes it rough.


The side characters are great, especially the ambiguously good characters. There's quite a host of side characters and they all have their own distinct personalities, although we don't see the story of many of them.

Plot: 5/5

The world of this story is built so thoroughly, I'm seriously impressed. I also like that this starts in a civilization "after the apocalypse", which is interesting. Every arc (pretty much) feels original and engaging. This is a seriously great story. Even though the character can carry the story, the plot doesn't shame it at all.

Writing & Translation: 4/5

Not bad, thanks for everyone's hard work. <<less
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Raven Blues
Silver Raven rated it
July 30, 2018
Status: c71
Just a heads up. Elpis translation is still translating this series, and currently (as I wrote this) has reached ch.36. The chapters after the one on the novel updates is locked. You need to go to the index page (on elpis translation) to see the password.

Also, currently on wattpad, someone has diligently translating this novel too and has reached ch. 71 (as I wrote this). The translation is a bit inferior to elpis translation, but overall the translator has been doing a very great job.

For some reason I can't uploaded... more>> the chapters on my phone browser, so I will just leave the link to the wattpad here :

https://my.w. Tt/jYOJASQuYO

A huge thanks for both of the translator for translating this series. I enjoyed the story very much. :) <<less
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Kyaaaaaaaaa rated it
July 30, 2020
Status: Completed
Edit: I did make this review when I was a newbie, so take my words with caution, but I stand by mostly everything still in this review. However, one year later, I'm afraid I looked at some things with rose-colored lenses.

My only advice to you is to ignore *a good some* hate comments when reading the reviews and just dive into the novel. I found the comments slandering the ML because of his "cruelty" or the MC because he had a low EQ or IQ or plot just losing it's jazz or whatever completely inaccurate. I find it a real shame that the top comments indicate this, and as a person who heavily relies on reviews, this almost deterred me from reading this novel. I'll do a brief explanation on why these comments aren't true, but you can just read the recent comments on this novel, and find an awful lot of them refuting the top comments--for good reason. There is a reason why this has high ratings.

This is by far, the best Zombie Apocalypse novel I've read. In the end, even though I thought this novel was a passing by interest when I first read it and wasn't intending to leave a review, I ended up doing so because it kept coming to mind even after finishing the... more>> novel. It was just so good, and it's a novel you'll come to appreciate after time passes. Please read this ya'll, especially those who love plot that isn't deterred by romance and vice versa.

My review is pretty long. I recommend user Stray's review for a more condensed version. This is a more detailed review for all those still skeptical folks:

Plot: 10/10

The plot, in my opinion, did not falter at all and was actually quite superb. It was intense, and packed a lot of suspense that made me adore it. Various plot twists that I hardly predicted (though at first I though I knew would come) came to me like a sledgehammer. I'm a person that really prefers a good ratio of plot and romance--a 6:4 ratio--when reading a novel, and this really satisfied my appetite. You have a standard zombie novel, but with all the meticulous and gorgeous details about the setting embedded inside, it really makes the novel stand out.

Characters (without the romance aspect involved) : 9/10

Okay so lets start with our MC. Our MC starts off as a realistic human being (except for the fact that he has quite a pure heart despite his frivolous attitude at times and is also very smart--emphasis on the very smart please). He's really starts off as anyone would when faced in a planet full of zombies--scared and wanting to just have a peaceful life where he doesn't face such atrocities. That doesn't mean he's weak, he's just refreshingly human. Yet, even then, he's still quite smart and rational and doesn't make you want to pull out your hair even when he's at that weak stage. Yes, he needs physical protection because he's like a chick suddenly exposed to a slaughter house, but he still proves himself capable in situations that call for quick thinking. There was this one comment that talked about how he solved problems--due to his physical incapability--he caused rather quickly by adapting well and being useful, and I have to agree.. Later on, he uses his brain to even achieve greater heights and starts improving his body. Though his training was quite short and at times he still needs to have help from the ML, he becomes quite capable and can even rival other soldiers (not to mention his shooting precision is the most OP in the Special Forces though it wasn't shown a lot).

The 9/10 probably derives from the MC still relying on the ML in the end (which is incredibly realistic and understandable because the the ML has years of experience ahead of the MC who still a novice) as I like my couple being on equal ground. But its fine, even though the ground was slightly tilted up in the eyes of the MC, it didn't annoy me that much.


Okay, so many people have a problem with Heine, but honestly I don't see it. Heine does break our MC's arm when he was 'flirting' with a female SP officer. Why? Yes, he was probably jealous, but there were other situations when he was jealous as well yet didn't harm our MC. The real reason was due to who the MC was quite close to going to bed with (the MC admitted that without Heine''s warning, he probably would've been killed). It was the SP and the Special Forces are apparently quite lethal in bed to ordinary people, and can break their bones and end up killing them without even blinking an eye. Heine was simply demonstrating a small fraction of what could've happened--lest I remind you, this was his second time warning him, and sometimes a physical warning leaves an greater imprint. Other times when our ML is cruel is when it's necessary.

C'mon guys, you can't expect him to coddle out MC in a Zombie Apocalypse. If that happened, our MC probably would've died from being so sheltered. He needed to face the reality in front of him and become stronger. Leaving that, our ML alone is very capable in both brain and ability, and I would call him a wise grim reaper of few words. He's great, says wise and sensible things, and is OP as hell on the battlefield (though he looks aloof and cold, but that's just his personality, even till the end of the novel). I loved him at the end of the novel, and I'm sure you will too if you take the time to understand his character.


Romance: 9.5/10

Hmmm....I actually wish there were more smutty scenes but that's just my horny ass. The 9.5/10 stars is probably only due to the smutty scenes--though being great--still made me want more *fans myself*. Actually, every part of the romance will probably satisfy you and I'm glad the author has such an amount of scenes because anymore else probably would've deterred the writing when the setting was a zombie apocalypse (but I mean, she could've at least included extras *sobs*).


Anyway, a lot of moral conflict people had with this story was that Heine send sexual dreams to the MC. Now, I'm not justifying his reasons, but I would like to remind you SP soldiers have a high lethal s*x drive. His intense desire to be close with the MC eventually manifested in dreams. However, he was extremely respectful and gentle of the MC in real life. I would go even as far to say that the dreams were his way of protecting the MC from getting killed in real life before he gained physical ability. Even when the MC wanted to, uh, **** the ML and stirred up his desires, he maintained great self control because he didn't want to hurt the MC.

Now, were the dreams consensual? Not entirely. But as shown later in the novel, our MC wasn't manipulated in liking the ML due to the dreams and actually had some attraction to Heine (though he didn't realize it). Honestly, that whole part is still a little in the grey area, but I still had no problem with it (it's just my attitude which not all of people share, but even those who despise these things still commentated that due to the existing circumstances, it did not bother them as much as they expected on the novel forum).

I really liked the romance between the two characters. They loved each other to the point where they would kill themselves just for the sake of the other. The MC was the star of the ML's eyes and vice versa, It was something that really warmed my heart. Still a bit upset over the smutty scenes though.

Also, ya'll the MC is straight and had no indication in real life that showed Heine liking him. Sure he took care of him more, but the whole squad did, not just Heine. Imagine someone being super sweet in your dreams, but then super cold to you in real life while only showing hints of tenderness that aren't very visible. Of course you're not gonna believe the dude likes you. Looking at the ration of hot to cold rationally, its obvious the dude doesn't hate you but liking you seems extremely far fetched. These were the reasons why the MC found such a hard time believing the ML liked him. Sure his EQ is just a tiny bit low when the fact that Heine could send hallucinations was presented to him, but the reality and imagination contrasted so deeply. How do you expect him to believe it? <<less
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Flying Jade
Flying Jade rated it
July 10, 2019
Status: Completed
When I got to the end of this novel, it was like a a breath of fresh air and I was glad to be done with it.

The world background deserves a five-star. It was well thought-out with interesting aspects. I particularly loved the advantage place on cold weapons in an advanced science world setting.

The characters were quite versatile. Each one had a unique wuirk about them, even their acts of madness was specific to them.

The plot was both enticing and frustrating. Sometimes it made sense, while other times it made... more>> no logical sense. I even wondered if the fabled brain-hackers of the novel had given me a brain meltdown.

Character development... It's very much there. The MC grows from an ambitionless student with lots of curiosity to a man with a goal to achieve and merits to his name. The side characters come up roguish and barbaric (especially the special agents) but as the MC gets friendlier with them, they show that they are only harsh/wild to outsiders but really good to their own. Friends to enemies, enemies to friends.

Why 3 stars then?

The actions of the characters, forget the broad overlook and rose-colored glasses, are hard to accept. The MC has all the answers about the ml's feelings from the start, albeit hard to accept because it could in every sense of it kill him, his ignorant actions topple me. Even after they kiss consciously a few times and the ML shows he cares, the MC is still tattling on about the same he-likes-me-he-likes-me-not well past the mid chapters. For an outrageously smart MC, he fails to put things together. It's no excuse of a low EQ when something that is mentioned over and over as general knowledge is overlooked and no one cares to tell him at first.

The smut is rough and hard, involving bone breaking, three days of rest and all that. But after MC gets powered up, why does this still happen?

Plus the part that ached my teeth, the 2nd male lead, forces a kiss on the MC a while after they meet, when the ML hadn't even made a move yet! Not bad? He continues to kiss, touch, push down MC, thec fights back but thenext time the meet all is forgiven and they are like besties again. There was no precedence for their "deep" friendship, I read it over and I couldn't understand why he tolerated the man. If there was even a brief meeting in the past, it would all have become more logical. It sometimes felt like the MC did not know what thetusual friendship boundaries are. Even the cliche kidnap then force down happened, but at the end other readers seemed to think he (the 2nd ml) is just a contradicted good guy. I wondered if I read a different book?

At the end of the novel when thought over how things progressed, I fbeloeve the military head, the scrience academy head were irresponsible. The science head was aware that the traitor was a clone of his dead son but he chose not to pursue the origins believing in him. This led to secrets of researchers being leaked and a lot of them losing their brains, even students were involved, which is how our story started. The military head knew about the traitors but he overlooked them for the science headsh saie, putting feelings before the safety of his subordinates. Special forces agents died but he still failed to keep an eye on those who should normally be the first suspects. In fact the whole house of who the betrayers were at the start should have been clearer to these two. But somehow they get away with it with caring father Halo and a lovey-dovey storyline. The plot conviniently overlooked the number who died when vindicating the "traitors" <<less
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PriestessofNeptune rated it
October 29, 2020
Status: c100
Look, I enjoy a dominant gong as much as the next fujoshi. I can even sometimes be okay with not a lot of consent in novels, because at least the two characters are both mentally consenting and as the reader we can see that. But what I'm not okay with? Just completely trampling over consent, not stopping when the other says stop multiple times, and straight up r*pe. What I'm really not okay with? Violent s*x to the point of breaking bones and even death.

If all these things had been... more>> done by someone that wasn't the ML, maybe it would be fine. They're the villain of the story, clearly. But when it IS the ML? AND ALSO the villain? I can't. I can't anymore.

I hate all the characters in this. Especially the ML. What an emotionally manipulative, abusive, r*pist deck. Oh, and the villain is exactly the same, by the way. So it really didn't matter which way the MC went, things turn out exactly the same. Even the side characters like Jane aren't any better.

If this novel had actually gone all the way and just accepted being properly vore or something, I might actually hate it slightly less. <<less
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Yorokobiaaii rated it
May 31, 2020
Status: Completed
Alriiight guys, listen.

• The Best way to read a story is to Read it carefully! ? AT FIRST I had doubts about it because of those low ratings and negative comments about the story BUT after I saw a comment which is encouraging us to ignore those comments and to give it a try, I DiD.

and I'm that I read it!! I swear!!

The best Apocalypse-BL novel that I read so far is "My Number 1 Zombie Wife", the story is great and the characters as well, but since then I struggled... more>> to find other apocalypse novel that could take my interest, until, I found THIS NOVEL.

they said that it's not good.

But DUDE! I started reading it yesterday and I didn't stop reading it until 3:30 am! Then I took a nap and woke up after 4hrs of sleep only to continue reading it, and now here I am ranting at those jerks! ??? I'm not the type of reader who's just gonna waste her time reading a not so good type of novel. I value my sleeping habits more than anything. But it's fine, cause it's all worth it!!! ??? Thank you so much!!

p:s I LOVE ALL THE FIGHT SCENES! IT WAS VERY WELL WRITTEN BY THE AUTHOR, I SWEAR! I COULD EVEN IMAGINE PERFECTLY EVERY BITS OF IT. And the Angst and the Illusions? Boy! You better get hold of your braincells before reading it. LoL!

So, if you're planning to read this novel. Welcome aboard~ ? <<less
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max2payne0 rated it
September 20, 2018
Status: c38
I don't hate forceful MLs. There are so many, it's hard to find a good bl, or even shounen ai, without this trope. There are never any apologies, and the MCs forget that they were ever wronged. I am not okay with that. Still, I would have rated it higher, if I wasn't confused in several occasions. One being how it very much looks like insta-love to me. I don't know if it's just too subtle.

... more>>

Heine starts with sending fantasies into Xiao Yan's mind, and this is done deliberately. After Xiao Yan accidentally falls and kisses him, and Heine tries to strangle him to death, and later breaks his shoulder (he used him as a stepping stone to shoot down their enemies, but he should have known it would happen, and there was never an apology.) The guy that comes off as a psycho on the first chapter (Mark) who acts like he wouldn't mind seeing them get eaten, is the one to save him from death in that moment. So somehow, he's addicted to this kid after an accidental kiss he tried to kill him for, that has the MC thinking this guy is out to kill him for several chapters in, before the injuries start to get disregarded or seen as 'tough love' maybe?

And it's only one instance he got injured by the ML.

At some point, while Xiao Yan is at a bar, a woman with the special virus that could make someone addicted to them is sitting next to him, when some other guys start badmouthing a subordinate of Heine. He beats them up. Then, sees MC with the woman, and dislocates his shoulder. Why? He mentioned the names of two people that flirted with the MC, and the one person, who is a normal person, that he's had a crush on for years, but this doesn't sit well with the ML. Supposedly, it's to warn him off so he doesn't get f*cked to death, and the MC just goes along with it. Okay, but I see it as you being jealous.

Then, somewhere along the line, Xiao Yan starts to believe he's fallen for this guy. And while I see the instances where he saves his life, why does that have to be the catalyst for it, when he's supposedly straight, even when the ML still continued to treat him poorly otherwise. In the fantasies, it was forced in the beginning. There was even a scene where he imagined getting done by the ML, and it hurt, and he wanted it to stop. It was only a delusion, but you find later that it was the ML infiltrating his brain, so it's not just his imagination.

Don't get me wrong, Heine and Xiao Yan have their adorable and hot moments, and I love that, but insta-love is either an obsession, or lust, or a crush. And while I don't dislike it, either, show it better, don't go from, 'this guy looks like he wants to kill me' to 'oh, I might like getting kissed by this guy even though I should be straight' even if it's still only a delusion and he thinks it's his imagination.


So anyway, the adorable moments are what saved this for me and kept me reading. Though the characters and background are very different, it made me think of Kill the Lights, which I loved (save a few instances.) <<less
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Lolkika rated it
March 24, 2018
Status: c80
Read the few translations... Then finished the raws online.

The author's writing's amazing!!! Great plot, characters development, amazing supporting characters...

Not the cliche MC suddenly got super power or whatever.... While reading this novel, you be like.... Yeah.... Yeah it could happened.

And the romance was great... It balanced well with the story-line. Not to mention it was realistic... Not the girly uke, always acting cute, and whatnot.
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veihakase rated it
November 7, 2017
Status: c15
This novel is amazing. The plot is progressing quite nicely. The relationship between MC and ML is just freakin adorable and the side characters were also lovely (to the point that I'm wishing they also have their own story). The translation is also easy to understand. PLUS THE ZOMBIES! GAHD ZOMBIE THEMED NOVELS FTW! XD Anyway, the thrill in reading is definitely there. The action is also defined well by the author and the translator so I really recommend this novel to everyone. This one's really good. REALLY GOOD! *^*)... more>> / <<less
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Severe rated it
July 1, 2020
Status: c100
So... Where is there an estetic romance? Huh?

I am sorry, let's face it - that is just an another story of abuse tr*sh. ML is a total scumbag.

- first of all - is it really that relationship=s*x and nothing more? They never think of anything else, it is so frustrating, euhh.

- ML knows that his lifespan is no more than 2 years. He knows that he will definitely kill MC in bad, so there is no way around. And maybe, just MAYBE, it is a little egoistic to make him... more>> completely fall in love with you? No? If you know that you can't give him anything, WHY would you torture him and boast yourself as a knight in shining armor??? What will MC feel after your death?

- I will never believe that ML loved MC, he is just using him. No lover will brainwash the partner, it is one-sided abuse through hypnosis. I feel like vomitting while reading about MC "true" feelings. For me, straitforward Jane is much more alluring - he might be a duchbag, but hey, he is at least honest, you can see his intentions and react by yourself.

It is really regretful, because the translation is really outstanding, but the whole meaning of bl is lost for me. <<less
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izayaYY rated it
September 11, 2019
Status: --
ahh...i understand why some did not like this novel...i agree with the reader who said that everything seemed fake, and another reader who said it was illogical. Yes, that's what I felt too.

At first the novel seemed to provide everything I love in BL: fantasy, action, adventure, 2 strong MCs, interesting side characters (i love Wallace), obsessive love, awesome romance and some smut. Unfortunately it is the writing style and numerous incoherences that bothered me. And also the author's penchant for melodrama. Even the MC's research breakthroughs were showcased in... more>> a melodramatic desperate-last-chance-every-second-count thrill ride.

The style, mood and pace of this novel is too similar to a fast-paced action movie with all the limitations that is inherent to such genre. The emphasis is primarily on the plot, suspense and thrill ride, to the detriment of logic and consistency in behaviour. Just like in a movie, it is very plot-driven, every event seemed neatly choreographed, all the scenes are prettily packaged, all the characters are beautiful and make grandiloquent speeches, we even have an evil mastermind and action sequences must always be full of suspense and impacful... but halfway through, I skipped most action parts because they became too repetitive...i grew tired of reading how outworldly beautiful Heine, Wallace and the others are when they are killing zombies.

It is not a bad read. I just prefer less plot-driven stories, and less inconsistencies.

Some incoherences that I remember:

    • This is a post-apocalyptic world and yet most humans in this story acts bizarrely out of context.
    • In an apocalyptic world where researchers are valuable assets, they are often treated as if they were disposable items by the top dogs. MC was even used as bait at some point. In this world, do researchers grow on trees? hmmm...
    • Despite the constant spying from Surge and the long line of past traitors, I am amazed they did not take serious counter measures to protect from spies. They have 'interrogation' specialists who excel at mind hacking. Isn't it their job to keep an eye on the usual suspects? and maintain constant vigilance and screening? especially among the top dogs? umm...
    • Xiao Yan's constantly pondering about his feelings or Heine's feelings for him despite all the proofs provided by Heine himself, became repetitive and tedious halfway through the story. I mean how many kisses (some real, some virtual), virtual sex, life-saving instances and cheesy one-liners from Heine does he need to be convinced? MC is not portrayed as someone with low EQ so his continuous lack of awareness is a mystery.
    • I am still wondering why Casey and Wallace did not simply ask MC for help first, instead of just defecting and abducting MC and going on a killing spree... I am sure MC would have helped... MC loves Casey! MC considers Casey his precious friend! Funny that in the end they had to cooperate anyways lol
    • Ah the amnesia melodrama after the mind interrogation... a convenient plot point to show that MC really loves Heine and that his love is not a figment of his subconscious implanted by Heine. But tbh, this episode is not rational. I mean how logical is it to have the MC go through torture interrogation when at this point in the novel, he is humanity's only hope and should be called God, no less. Even if he was a suspected Surge spy, at this point in time, is it logical to make him go through mind hack knowing the consequences? This episode seem even more absurd when we learn later on that all the top dogs knew about Casey, Wallace and Valentin and they still allowed Casey and Wallace within their compounds without any restrictions and even let them hold high positions... Seriously?!? How come those 2 did not go through the mind torture also... hmmm?
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TheLadyWhoLikesBoyLove rated it
September 13, 2018
Status: Completed
I don't really know why anyone could hate this. There's no perfect story out there but this one is one the best I ever read. The character's are pretty dimensional. The MC is literally weak at the start but he has the guts, he thinks well and logically. The male lead knows he can't touch thr MC because he might break him so of course all those building up frustrstion would lead him to imahine things considering that the authors says when a that kind of person thinks of you... more>> romantically or sexually you would be able to experience hallucinations from the surging emotion.

I read the mtl from the last updating chapter since I love thr story. The MC doesn't immediately goes OP. The story is pretty average but I love it. So this one is definitely a 5 star.

  1. I recommend this to all those fujoshis out there! Read this and you won't regret anything.
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June 10, 2018
Status: c33
I'm a big fan of military, yaoi and zombie stories so this perfect. Easy to understand, very nicely and entertaining story. Just a perfect combination.
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