The MC (shou) is Fu Ge, the ML (gong) is Qi Han. Qi Han is an Alpha, Fu Ge is a Beta. They fell in love in high school, had a romantic graduation trip to Tibet and were going to marry. Everything was like a beautiful dream until Qi Han met Fu Ge's father. And it turned out that Fu Ge's father was the man that killed Qi Han's dad and tortured Qi Han himself a few years ago. Besides, Qi Han has a reason to believe that Fu Ge also approached him on purpose, to steal his dad's secrets.

So, on the day of their wedding, Qi Han appears with police, arrests Fu Ge's father, and locks Fu Ge in the basement to r*pe and ab*se him. After Fu Ge tries to commit su*cide, Qi Han lets him go, or rather throws him out to the street, alone, sick and helpless. They are eighteen years old at that time.

All this happens before the beginning of the story. When the story starts, five years have passed. Qi Han meets Fu Ge, who is amnesic (and in addition has a big bunch of other mental problems). Qi Han picks up Fu Ge very "generously", feeds him and gives him a place to live in exchange for s*xual services. After all, Fu Ge is the son of his enemy and a traitor, so, in Qi Han's opinion, he treats him very nicely, saving him from starving and being gang-r*ped in the street.

Little does Qi Han know that soon he will learn the truth about the past events - and then his regrets will be immeasurable.

MC and ML met very young and fell in love passionately. There was a beautiful future waiting for them. But ML had a really horrible experience when he was a child; his father was killed in front of his eyes, he himself was tortured for two weeks and forced to differentiate into Alpha prematurely and violently. The culprit was never found. Now imagine the ML’s shock when he discovers that the culprit is the MC’s father and apparently the MC approached him to steal his secrets. Adding to that, ML gets the MC’s intimate photos with another man (malicious slander but by then the ML is already unable to make a sane judgement).

ML ruins the wedding MC prepared and ab*ses and tortures MC for two weeks in revenge - exactly the same time as he himself was tortured, considering it fair.

Damn, I’m trying to write all this calmly but I’m actually crying because it is SO PAINFUL! Everything hurts like hell!

I feel heartbroken for the child ML whose life was destroyed in a single day. He later says his father cooked for him his favorite fish but he didn’t have time to eat it because the criminals came and the nightmare started. ML was just fourteen years old when he had to suffer all this!

And then I think of the things he did to MC in retaliation, and I feel sick and desperate because they were so horrible. I can’t help questioning, after suffering so much, how could he inflict similar things on someone?!

But there is an answer in this question. It happens exactly because ML suffered like this. I am so angry with him for what he did to MC, I hate him for it - but I can’t bear to judge him. Who am I to judge him? I don’t think anyone who hasn't suffered through the same things has the right to judge him.

After ten chapters, the ML finds the truth about the MC being innocent. Revelations come one after another: MC never betrayed him. MC never cheated on him with another man. MC isn’t even the son of the man who killed ML's father.

So the ML madly regrets everything he did; but the problem is that after he let the MC go five years ago, the damage he did to MC didn’t stop. There are terrible, heartbreaking consequences for the MC, and the ML has to witness them one by one.

That’s a big spoiler. The MC is actually not a soft little bunny who can only suffer. “Vengeance is mine” is about him. At the moment when you think in disappointment: did he already forgive the ML? - it turns out that the whole thing is the MC’s revenge plan.

So, on the one hand, the ML tortures himself with his guilt and regrets. On the other hand, this psychological (and sometimes physical torture) is directed by the MC.

And now again, some people think the MC is too cruel and should just... just what? Forgive? Move on? How can one decide for the MC what he must do without surviving what the MC had to go through? Who has the right to judge the MC? I certainly don’t dare.

The MC cannot move on. Taking revenge on the ML is the only way he can survive, the only reason for him to live, the only way he can go on. As for killing the ML... isn’t it exactly what he was going to do? Kill the ML and die with him, because he didn’t see the way to live. Please before you judge and accuse the MC of doing it the wrong way, think what he’s been through. It is not up to bystanders to decide what he “should” do. Even his family repeats again and again that they respect his choice whatever he does.

I think it cannot be compared in terms of “more” or “less”. Being r*ped and tortured by your beloved vs. being physically and mentally tortured by draining your pheromones while your beloved thanks someone else for that. Nearly dying from pneumonia vs. nearly dying from allergy. Getting your last hope to survive being destroyed by the casual action of your former beloved vs. watching your beloved planning to marry someone else. Ruined wedding vs. ruined wedding. Burned painting vs. burned relics. It is not balanced, it is not counted like that.

Five years ago the ML destroyed the MC completely, taking away EVERYTHING from him. Five years later the MC destroyed the ML completely, taking away EVERYTHING from him. Everything is everything; you can’t take more if there is none.

So I feel that yes, the ML paid in full. He paid until he had nothing but his last breath left - and that last breath he was ready to use to be tortured to death just to buy some time for the MC and the MC’s child he thinks is born from another partner.

If the ML couldn’t be forgiven then - who can be forgiven for what at all? Not to mention that the MC was never indifferent to him. He hated the ML but it was also because he had such intense feelings that he could make this step from hatred to love. It would be different if he really moved on - but he never did. You can like it or not but this is the truth.

I knew it was going to be HE because the translator said so. But for a very long time I was sure I would find HE unbelievable and far-fetched. Well, I didn’t. MC and ML are two broken people who hurt each other immensely. But they are also the only ones who can heal each other.

There is also a side pairing that I was very sceptical about because I was sure there was no way to make it work, especially in a few extras. And was I wrong! It was extremely heartbreaking and very satisfying.

The main pairing and the side painting also makes me think about another Bible reference, “sins of the fathers”. Not literally, of course, but if you think about that, it all comes from the previous generation. The ML, who was supposed to grow up as a healthy, happy teenager, was tortured and twisted because the criminals coveted his father’s secrets. The ML tortured the MC because he thought the MC was the son and the accomplice of the criminal. The ML in the side pairing is tortured for many years because of the crime of his mother. And the MC in the side pairing is traumatized for life because his parents rejected him. They all are children who suffered innocently. And it is great that the author shows there is hope for the next generation. The extra about Ah Jue’s problems was so touching, and it was so nice to feel the love of all the members of this family of three.

MC having hallucinations and unable to tell illusions from reality.

MC being driven out of the isolation room he saved for a long time to book.

MC being fired after a month working in a restaurant because of a casual remark from ML.

MC waiting for French fries from ML after he already got ML arrested.

ML listening to the plastic lamp singing “Happy Birthday” to him.

ML thinking that he doesn’t deserve the wedding with MC, what he deserves is poison in his milk.

ML’s fake honeymoon and fake pictures he was making.

ML picking and dropping the drone parts on the road.

ML saying in MC’s dream: “So what if they are fake, aren’t fake good?”

ML telling about betting his life when paragliding, ready to die so that in the next life MC loved him sincerely.

And the moment I love the most, the pinnacle of the story for me - MC saying: “I forgive you, I forgive everything!”

seme was in love with uke in there highschool times. But after uke 'betrayed' him, seme imprison his father on their wedding day and tortured uke for 14 days. After uke tries to kill himself, seme dropped him off outside when he was injured and sick. And for the next 5 years, uke lost all his money and had to paint to live.

Then seme found him again and gave uke a deal. In exchange for food and a house, uke has to let seme do s*xual things to him.

After that, uke began to hallucinate. He began to image seme as many different types of people.

One of them was Mr Bear Cub, a innocent lover who was a simp.

The other one was the 'sir' that took him in and gave him a house and clothes as well as saving him from being gangr*ped.

And the last one who is a monster who kidnapped and r*ped the uke for 14 days.

They were all the seme, but from different timelines.

It's like we're conveniently forgetting the two years MC struggled, impoverished, in poor tortured mental health, in constant physical pain from receiving backlash from being separated from their mate, and various sequalae from a bad surgery. BRO WHERE THE HELL DID THE ML SUFFER LONGER. IT JUST FELT LIKE IT BECAUSE WE WERE READING HIM CHASING THE MC BUT THE MC SUFFERED JUST AS MUCH AS DURING THAT TIME.

MC barely had any time to heal away from ML, because he couldn't. Because the plot wouldn't let him. Because MC needed his revenge and made he went down the self-destruction path to destroy ML back.

So basically, ML was tortured as a kid and his dad was mu*dered. ML meets MC in HS. They fall in pure love with each other. ML finds out MC's adoptive dad is the source of ML's tragic past. ML doesn't know MC's dad was 'just an adoptive dad' (lol like it matters when technically MC's adoptive dad was still his dad). ML receives photos that makes ML believe MC cheated on him with a random alpha.

ML r*pes MC on their wedding night. Then plots MC's downfall. Tortures MC physically, mentally and emotionally. Plays so much mind games with MC. Degrades MC as a sl*t, destroys MC's dignity.

ML, thinking to lure out MC's lover (because ML won't listen to MC saying he was faithful to ML), tells MC to go pleasure MC's lover in return for getting the chance to contact MC's dad. MC misunderstands and thinks ML wants him to sell his body to a bunch of gross dudes to seal the deal. ML intentionally doesn't clear this misunderstanding, only thinking of finding out MC's affair partner. ML unknowingly gets MC almost gang-r*ped. Note that MC is 18. A teenager just like ML.

We later find out MC really believed ML was letting MC service a bunch of (as the novel put it) greasy pot-bellied gross ass old business men. MC is saved by a business competitor.

ML, not knowing MC almost was gang-r*ped, thinks MC's disheveled appearance is due to MC being a sl*t and sleeping with unknown lover. ML r*pes and assaults MC. Compounding the trauma and betrayal. ML goes back on their deal and kicks MC out of the car. MC is essentially homeless for two years. MC plots out his revenge off screen. Lays out a trap for ML for 3 years. Hooks ML back in and throws the truth all back in ML's face to emotionally torture ML.

But also, MC just ends up torturing themselves honestly. I couldn't like or respect MC because MC just couldn't end things already and just f*king kill ML like ugh. MC has a lot of self-loathing, continues to self-destruct in the name of revenge.

Edit: Came back to skim the remaining 30 or so chapters I hadn't finished. Utterly underserved ending. I wish this ended in flames.

A lot of 'will they won't they'. Lots of lying and torturing each other and themselves. It eventually devolves into complete dog-blood. And then reconciliation.

The chapter xiao jue is kidnapped it was touching in some places like Fu ge suddenly doing a 180 cz how could anyone not but then we have xiao jue like his parts in that arc were just awkward like ok he'd be touched by a person who's become his savior but then the sudden closeness out of nowhere was creepy af maybe give us some buildup or something author

In this arc Qi hans part was quite well done but just when he carries the plot I liked the emotional rifts n it felt nice overall

Fu ge's grand plan to destroy qi han was totally ruined for me when it was revealed that he left a way out for qihan when it was the end.

It made feel that the revenge was pointless and we didn't achieve anything what was it all for, wasting everyone's time blood sweat tears money (in story) like why go through all that just to make a point n then get back together just to pretend that nothing happened.

It also made me feel that the feelings of anger hate and revenge were insincere after knowing the truth

I'm all for scum ML novels, but this one... idk, maybe I've just grown beyond it, but it honestly comes off pretty s*upid at times. But, if some mindless binge reading is what you're up for, then go for it. It has the dog-blood, it has the torture, pain, drama, and plot holes that exemplify the genre. It has the, MC suffers, the ML repents, then ML suffers, etc. etc.

I say mindless, because, as I read the tragic past all I could think was... "ain't no damn way the author put that on paper." The supposed betrayal:

Qi Han looked at the absurdity in front of him as if his soul was separated from his body and listened to their unrestrained conversation.

"Xiao Ge, have you brought the manuscript?"

"I have."

"What about that boy Qi Han, have you caught him?"

"Uh-huh."

"How was that, the hunting plan Dad made for you worked well, didn't it?"

Fu Ge nodded and put the silk paper and a thick album into the safe. Qi Han raised his eyes in despair and saw a few words written in plain sight on the cover: Qi Han's hunting plan.

Then ML runs out into the rain (or whatever), inconsolable and devastated, gets bonked by a car, and he bleeds out on the ground. I sht you not. Like, if the injury was serious enough to leave him incapacitated, bleeding out on the ground--how was he even in one piece for all the drama that happened later?

Oh yeah, and the author also goes like this:

"Fu Ge did not love him at all. It was just a trick his father's mu*derer had come up with to get close to him and cheat him out of the manuscript."

Honestly, it's pretty obvious the author didn't care about remote believability. They just wanted a plot device to justify the subsequent ab*se of MC on ML, and vice versa. /spoiler]

Like, there's just no way they be having, "Qi Han's hunting plan" as a file. I was laughing in pain. I can't make this up. It's giving Y/N fanfiction vibes.

Beats me how someone cried to it, when all I could think about while reading was, damn, the author be a comedic genius. It was hard to take the novel seriously. Also, the author must be a severely sexually repressed person. Cos the sheer amount of s*xual torture mentioned. Jeez. The MC also be getting bashed around like a rag doll, and the ML be getting stabbed in the neck and stomach with no ramifications to his health.

Anyways, what I'm getting at is, read it; just, be prepared to lose a few braincells. It's like fast food.

Why is Qi Han able to move around even when being stabbed multiple times and being so wounded all the time?

-In most Omegaverse, pheromones are described as having a direct correlation to the strength and physic of the body. That's why Alphas are always seen as on top and why there is often a disparity between an Alpha sibling an Beta sibling depicted in stories. Sure genetics have an influence, but the pheromones act as a sort of power boost to alphas giving them more durable bodies and stronger minds. What might be a painful stab to someone normal could most likely be shrugged off by an Alpha

Wow, how could Fu Ge forgive Qi Han so easily?

-How heartless of a person do you think Fu Ge is? No matter how much you hate someone even you will at least wince when they snap a leg, that's a normal human response and Fu Ge already had those memories of love exerting at least a little pressure on him even in overpowering hate. If Fu Ge really didn't care and just wanted revenge, he would have just kidnapped him torture him with needles and injections for 14 days or however long to be satisfied, killed Qi Han and moved on with his life, but the revenge instead felt more like a how could you hurt me like this I want you to feel all the pain of not being loved that you gave to me exactly as I did instead of a I want you to suffer in any way or fashion as long as you are in pain.

Isn't it just a Deus ex Machina when Qi Han differentiates into an Enigma and survives infection?

-In the first place, Qi Han was never dying. You can read that he has always been able to stand above Alphas even of the same level which indicates he had that possibility of becoming an Enigma (In an earlier chapter he even said that Qi Chuan wasn't a match for him)

Addressing Vyathra's Review: "Hours later he got shoot by sniper right in the kokoro, said his last words and goodbye words. Later it was known that he was 'mirror' person, means his heart is on the opposite side."

-Ok first of all the author already gave hints that Qi Han had Situs inversus, this wasn't a sudden plot change contrivance. If you recall in chapter 52 "With the little Beta's mournful scream, Qi Han stabbed the knife into the right side of his chest." The Author specifically said he stabbed himself in the right which is where the heart typically develops towards for people with Situs inversus. For the "saying his last words and goodbye words" If you are shot in the chest you aren't thinking "Oh they didn't shoot my heart they just shot my lung i'll be fine", you are thinking "OH GOD they shot me in the chest. I'm dying. I have to say my last words to the one I love."

Sometimes I like to write reviews on stories that felt long to me because how I feel changes as the story progresses. The last paragraph of chapter 67 made me QAQ because I pretty much wrote something similar in my review while in chapter 60.

The day dawned, the pain was gone, and they were two seeds that fell into the ground safely."

He was in a really bad mental breakdown, like even hallucinations, scizo etc when suddenly he needs to fight the bad guys to save people. Really suddenly, happens in minutes (?). I mean with guns, motorcycle racing stuff. To save an unexpected and important people that I think only existed for the sake of this arc and really just recently being introduced by the author.

After that he was in a coma for days, wake up, got pretty sick and wounded, his days are numbered, then he got differentiated into more higher than alpha 3S (enigma (?)). Miracolously he was saved from his terminal illness. The only one higher being than 3S alpha in the country, even world. Okay fine imma still continue reading this.

Hours later he got shoot by sniper right in the kokoro, said his last words and goodbye words. Later it was known that he was 'mirror' person, means his heart is on the opposite side. AAAAAA sigh T_T

MC is literally innocent of literally everything. The man who tortured ML isn't even MC's real dad. There's no way this is going to be convincing for me haha

"Enigma" and could now mark even a Beta. I just had to laugh. What a deus ex machina...

The sudden child and the kidnapping was random and chaotic. Didn’t feel like it needed that.