The Obsessive Shou Moves On

Description

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In his previous life, Yun Qingci loved the Emperor more than life and death. When he was alive, he made soup and clothes for him, and in politics, he helped monitor his officials, even his family.

He was solely dedicated to the emperor, and all his scheming strategies were used to gain favour. He never borrowed his power as the Lord Empress to seek employment for his relatives, and he did not show favoritism. He can be said to be strictly impartial and incorruptible, not even recognizing his own family.

Outsiders were terrified of him, and relatives hated him, but Yun Qingci didn’t care. However, in the end, he was thrown into the cold palace by the only person he cared about and his whole family imprisoned.

Finally, he committed su*cide on that snowy day, and fell down that gilded tower.

Reincarnated, Yun Qingci retracted his claws, picked up the glass pieces of his heart, and conducted himself evasively in society. Acting as an escort to the Emperor for his relatives, he decided to become a proud Lord Empress that doesn’t need to be treasured or can have his status shaken.

Unexpectedly, the emperor who abandoned him like a shoe, praised by countless courtiers for both his virtue and kindness, suddenly changed his temper. He became cold and harsh, paranoid and cruel.

The servants who confronted Yun Qingci? He would beat them. The imperial concubines that provoked Yun Qingci? He’d punish them. A small person who framed Yun Qingci? He would kill him. When someone tries to approach Yun Qingci, he would become jealous to the extreme.

Soon everyone knew that Empress Yun was the emperor’s inverse scale. He was not allowed to be hurt, touched, or even looked at.

Yun Qingci, the fairy man, is speechless: So you like me not loving you, why didn’t you say that sooner?

Gong: ……

Associated Names
One entry per line
Thụ Bướng Bỉnh Đã Nghĩ Thông Suốt
Tên thụ cố chấp ấy nghĩ thông suốt rồi
偏执受想开了[重生]
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
Buddha-like Rebirth (5)
Flying Ash (4)
Si Tian Guan (3)
Sick Beauty [Rebirth] (3)
Sharing Rain and Dew (3)
How to Deal with a Tsundere Gong (2)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Interested - Completed 2
  2. Re-Read List
  3. Enjoyable Reads 2- bl
  4. ANCIENT GEMS (BL)
  5. Yandere ML

Latest Release

Date Group Release
02/10/22 Lazy Girl Translations extra 8
02/10/22 Lazy Girl Translations extra 7
02/10/22 Lazy Girl Translations extra 6
02/10/22 Lazy Girl Translations extra 5
02/10/22 Lazy Girl Translations extra 4
02/10/22 Lazy Girl Translations extra 3
02/10/22 Lazy Girl Translations extra 2
02/10/22 Lazy Girl Translations extra 1
02/07/22 Lazy Girl Translations c60
02/07/22 Lazy Girl Translations c59
02/05/22 Lazy Girl Translations c58
02/05/22 Lazy Girl Translations c57
02/05/22 Lazy Girl Translations c56
02/05/22 Lazy Girl Translations c53
02/05/22 Lazy Girl Translations c55
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Review
122 Reviews


Just.Erika.Will.Do.
New Just.Erika.W
May 21, 2024
Status: c51
Read so far n I think understand that both leads are not perfect but it's just that kinda story they r imperfectly perfect n I respect that at first I hated the ML actually I hated him for pretty much more than half the story n I related to the MC a lot I give blindly n when I don't care then nothing about them can move my heart but I'm also not made of stone eventually n I can relent too so while not excusing the MCs cruelty against... more>> the ML I could understand why he took such actions n as for the ML I came to sympathize with him n I also understand where he was coming from.

The story could have easily turned to them separating n I wouldn't have minded that but I think it's nice that we were able to see some nice angst I'm very satisfied although I haven't finished yet but I'm sure I'll like it

Spoiler not so much it's just my imagination of how things should have happened

Spoiler

Before reading chapter 51 I thought it would be better if MC took the letter of separation n not so accidentally ;⁠) destroyed it burn or tear, n then claim oh no it got ruined n the tells LY to take his time writing another one later, something along those lines. OR he could also keep destroying the letters in bizarre freak accidents until LY gets it that this guy is just being tsundere ╮⁠ (⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠) ⁠╭ wouldn't that be a fun conclusion after all that angst

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saccharinings
New saccharining
Apr 30, 2024
Status: --
Actual rating - 4 stars, but rated it 5 because I got a little annoyed at some other reviews. Some say the ML had it too easy - he literally went through soooo much I could barely believe he did all that sh*t just to get MC back ... more>>
Spoiler

he literally cut out chunks of his skin over and over again to feed some magical snake things and in the end sacrificed himself so another him could go back in time

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. Some comments were scolding MC and saying he was too harsh on ML... but srsly u're only saying this bc u got ML's pov but from MC's pov he was being slowly abandoned and it clearly affected him so much that he literally commited su*cide?? I think the character growth was very realistic. It all boiled down to terrible lack of communication. Some comments were scolding MC for not trusting ML but how can u say that when ML didn't even tell MC anything in the first place... all I can say is it was pretty slow burn, MC rly hated ML especially after his rebirth and it was more than halfway through (almost to the end) when he finally forgave ML. MC is the kind of person who loves and hates deeply, a cold character who's only soft to those he keeps in his heart. In his first life, only his mum and ML were in his heart. In his second life, even after he forgave ML, he learns that it's kinda unhealthy even if he wants to only stick to ML once again, and he slowly grows close to his father and brothers too. <<less
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Sonata123
Sonata123
Nov 18, 2021
Status: Completed
The author's description sounds a bit like it is a historical political drama :) But in reality, it is a pure wife chasing crematorium, and an extremely good one. If you like this trope, you'll find everything you like in this story. Is it very original? Probably no. Is it very satisfying? Oh yes.

The MC, Yun Qingci, is the Lord Empress to the ML, the Emperor, and in the past life he loved the ML insanely. His reputation was ruined - he did't care; his family was alienated - he... more>> didn't care. The ML was the only treasure in his eyes, and for him the MC was ready to do anything. But in the end, the MC's family was destroyed, he was sent to the Cold Palace and eventually driven to su*cide. There is no lengthy abuse at all (thankfully), the MC dies in the first scene and later we just get small glimpses of how mistreated (or not) he was.

Then MC is reborn and cured from his crazy love. However, the ML, who apparently didn't care about him in the past life, is reborn as well and wants his besotted shou back. At first the ML is smug and sure he'll make the MC happy by just being a little nice towards him, then he figures out he needs to make more efforts to "chase his wife". And more efforts, and more efforts... and even that might be not enough.

But as the story goes on, we get to know more things that make us realize everything is not that obvious as it seems from the first sight. The MC is quite an unreliable narrator (and he is often called paranoid for a reason) and the "dog Emperor" ML is not really a scum gong. But the MC still died in the past life due to the ML's actions, and can it be forgiven?

For me, a good wife chasing crematorium is when the shou forgives the gong exactly at the moment when I, the reader, is ready to forgive him. A little earlier - and I feel disappointed with the shou's weakness and think the gong hasn't suffered enough. A little later - and I feel the shou is too cruel. Here the author's timing is perfect. From the beginning to end the interactions between the MC and the ML felt exactly right and I enjoyed them immensely on all the stages of their relationship.

It is not an angsty or dark story, despite the MC's su*cide and some corpses strewn here and there. I actually read it twice (now it's the third time) because how good it made me feel, how vindicated for all the abused shous out there; and also because it was fun to watch how different some scenes and details appeared when I knew the whole story. <<less
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Resplendor
Resplendor
Jan 10, 2022
Status: c31
So I'm kinda with the ML on this one. The Shou's life would have been infinitely less miserable if he had actually trusted his husband in either lifetime.

How is a guy supposed to rely on his wife and share his secrets and plots and rule a nation with him if the moment anything doesn't go his way, he lashes out? Sometimes to deadly results? Or self harm?

ML could never share his burdens with the MC because the MC always, always, put other's (the emperoress' especially) words before the ML's. He... more>> had to treat him like he was walking on eggshells. Even when he asked for the MC to just trust him, the MC's paranoia never let go. The ML even let the MC build this great spy network that could report anything the MC wanted on the ML movements and plots, so he wouldn't have to rely only on the ML's words, but evidently the MC mostly just used it to harass the harem. Anything actually important was just passed along to the ML. And eventually the whole thing was given to the ML without the MC bothering to be a middle man.

ML never felt safe enough to share the load with his most beloved. So he took on the sole burden of everything, as he had been taught to do as the emperor, and failed spectacularly because of it.

Is that on the ML? Could he have opened up more? Yeah, but I don't actually blame him one bit. I wouldn't have trusted the MC either.

But Lack of trust on both sides lead to this tragedy.

And then in the new life, the emperor is fully willing to start fresh. To love and be loved fully. To form a true partnership. But the MC takes advantage of every moment the ML does try to put his trust in him again. Betraying him time and again. Stabbing him again and again. In the most painful way he can. Pushing him until he breaks.

Is that what occurred to the MC in the previous life? Yes, in a way. I see the poetic justice. But the ML wasn't the one holding the knife in the previous life. Never once. The MC only perceived it that way. The ML never actually betrayed him, only his expectations.

Some other reviewers say they are pleased the MC never really forgives the emperor. And that's fine. He doesn't have to forgive. He doesn't have to fall in love again. Go with your first plan of ignoring him or divorcing. But I don't think the ML deserves this torture. Save the torture for the true scums out there.

Edit: soooo just read up to chapter 39. I think I'm done. Reading to the end would just be self torture. Congrats MC, he's just as broken as you now. <<less
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Wolffenrir
Wolffenrir
Jul 23, 2022
Status: Completed
This is one of the wife chasing crematorium novels I like to come back to! The author really fleshes out how the scum ML suffers for his mistreatment of MC to the point where I've forgiven him and his actions aren't just excused or brushed off. On top of that, while his actions were indeed terrible they weren't unforgiveable - unlike other MLs who beat/cheat/r*** MC and have it all erased, in this novel ML doesn't do any of those.

Honestly I wrote a review bc I see people being unnecessarily... more>> harsh on MC while treating the ML like some misunderstood baby who MC wronged. To clear it up yes MC ISN'T A SAINT but the author never intended for it to be that way anyways. Do you need to be a saint before you can say someone wronged you? I don't think so. I see lots of people saying MC is obsessive, distrustful, has a victim complex etc. Yes, he is all of that, but his circumstances are understandable. Firstly it was ML who approached him first when he was the most vulnerable (his mom died, his family neglected him) and kept doing it even with the initial resistance of MC and made MC dependent on him. He even felt pride and happiness about that, so MC clearly wasn't obsessive out of nowhere. Secondly ML made many promises to MC but what happened? In the 12yrs of their marriage ML broke that many times to bring in how many concubines and even favoured them, while ignoring MC and treating him like a pest bc he was jealous. Some reviewer said ML is the emperor and MC should be more understanding/trusting -- WELL THE ML NEVER TOLD HIM THAT. The ML never trusted him to tell him his plans, never reassured the MC one bit, and emotionally neglected him for 12yrs straight to the point he k***ed himself!! Are you saying if you're in the shoes of the MC and in your POV your most loved person treated you like you're nothing and had so many concubines after promising you not to you'd be a boundlessly tolerant saint?? Yes ML has responsibilities as the emperor but he had other ways that he could deal with it or make things better and he didnt bother. Bc he took MC for granted and thought MC would be there forever. Yes ML never cheated on MC but how the hell would MC know?

[More spoilers] As for the spy organisation ML so-generously let the MC build, once MC passed on his authority to ML HE LEARNED THAT ML IMPRISONED AND EXECUTED HIS ENTIRE FAMILY. You just missed that small detail huh. Yes it was a farce blabla but once again NO ONE told MC. The utter disrespect tbh. Imagine everyone around you making plans and just not bothering to tell you, even on such an important matter as your whole family faking their deaths? Even his family didn't care to tell him. Not only once or twice, but for 12yrs. Who wouldn't go insane? Yes MC was childish and not exactly trustworthy but instead of cultivating him/growing together as you would with a spouse as he had the opportunity to over a decade, both ML and MC's family just let him hang there, kept in suspense to guess their motives and somehow assume they still have his best interests at heart. You can argue MC could've made the effort himself but he never had the backbone or confidence to do that, bc he was so emotionally dependent on ML, and that's exactly his flaw. But when he was reborn though he became aware of that and immediately tried to separate from ML, so idk what else you can ask of him. ML was the one who wouldn't let go and kept trying to get him back. So yes, MC was a petty, distrustful, and jealous person, but ML was an emotionally neglectful person who loved the feeling of having someone so utterly dependent on him when he only gave scraps back. He did redeem himself in the end from how much he suffered and it's good bc I'm kind of a sad*st when it comes to scum MLs suffering and this hit the spot exactly. <<less
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Estelle_star_QAQ
Estelle_star
Nov 19, 2021
Status: Completed
Did I really just waste my precious time reading this utter piece of idioticity...?

It's not extremely bad, no, it's even fairly ok when you're bored and just want something more boring to read.

The MC, before rebirth used to be paranoid, insecure, jealous person but the reason he became that way was *boom* ML. The ML basically never communicated, hid the truths, added women to his harem and deliberately favored a concubine, to which he made up terrible excuses for later. The MC suffered A LOT. he was ignored, lashed out... more>> at, humiliated and all because of ML.

YET, they end up together and it all goes just according to the ML. Sure, he had his share of suffering but not as much or even close to MC. Literally everyone in the novel, except a tiny few, favored the ML. They always made MC seem problematic as though ML was someone who could never do anything wrong. Even the MC's family was on ML'S side when MC was finally trying to move on. The basically never listened to MC's side of story.

The MC was realistic in a way that his anger was perfectly shown as even until the last chapter, he told the ML that he won't be able to live him (ML) the way he did before.

Pro:

Strong willed MC (kinda)

Less torture before rebirth

Con:

ML has everyone favoring him

Extremely jealous characters

Unhealthy af relationship

Obsession

Noone asks for MC's opinion

No respect for MC

Respect, who?

Personal space, who?

Communication, what ?

Fleshed out characters? What food is that?

    1. My complains; ML didn't deserve the forgiveness he was granted. MC deserves a better family (and friends). MC deserves a better life too.
-

Pls I cannot not mention this-

So, there's this adorable side character, Li Yan (Ml's brother?) And he is really loving to our MC but HE DOESN'T APPEAR AGAIN AND I WAS SO SAD.

The given 3 star rating is for the MC and Li Yan, who appeared ONCE QAQ

Ps: @Keikey I don't know either. What I do know is that we read the same novel and as much as my MTL reading abilities and my Chinese tells me, my interpretation of the novel is quite accurate. It felt (the novel) extremely off during the last 15 or so chapters. If my judgement is wrong, j don't know since I only used one website. I'll go through again.

Ok, so. I found out that it was only a few chapters at the begining that MC's father wanted him to stay back at their house but, later, when MC wanted to willingly stay away, MC'S father took the ml's side. <<less
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Keikey
Keikey
Nov 20, 2021
Status: Completed
The story is more dramatic than the summary makes it. And what I like it's that everything is not as simple as it seems and that author is clever to lay the explanation as the story goes on.

Interesting because it's not the same plot as every rebirth/revenge novels so far

Pity there's no smut scenes

... more>>

Ps:@Estelle_star. I don't know if we have read the same novel, or the same version, f I know sometimes they changed the plot when published.. in my version, mc's family, especially his father, would rather MC coming back to their home than going back with ml. The MC didn't forgive ML this easily. He still loves him deep inside that's why he hates him so much for making him suffer in previous life. But when he realized that ML had loved to him to the point of craziness, MC was satisfied enough to get back together. Love works in u unbearable way. That's reality for you. And what about Lu Yan? He was a spy Prince for another country and used Mc's older brother death to bargain his place for his country's throne.... Who wants him? <<less
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guge
guge
Jan 02, 2023
Status: Completed
READ THE CHILDHOOD BACKSTORY EXTRAS FIRST. This will change your entire understanding and feeling of the ensuing story.

Also my review is gonna be all over the place structurally because I'm writing this on mobile. Buckle in, it's a long one.

So. The story. Phenomenal, had me crying, definitely ship them hard and gave a lot of empathy for everyone's fears and bad decisions. Especially as they were emotionally groomed sinc ethey were teenagers to combust before even turning 30 and destroy the stability of the imperial office. Thanks mom.

The way that... more>> everything could have been so perfect without their political positions, reminds me of the last Tsar of Imperial Russia. It's said the happiest he ever was, was at the end with his family under house arrest without the failures of his responsibilities weighing him down and the freedom to support his wife without political backlash. Thus, we know that the essential narrative conflict here is relatable emotions to real human lives.

This novel hits the intersection of "The Submissive Emperor", "Those Years In Quest Of Honor Mine", "The Ugly Empress", "My Wife Always Thought I Did Not Love Him", and "My Wangfei Is A Man". Particularly the first two, which are favorites of mine for the sweet love and brilliant politicking of the power couples despite their familial messes.

The two were childhood sweethearts, brothers, best friends, with lost mother relationships and fathers who were loving but distanced by the mothers' resentments. Hence, MC and ML were very codependent with each other their entire lives. They both like art and handicrafts, don't like large parties with big groups of acquaintances, see each other as their only remaining family, and wish for the freedom to live together without the restrictions of their political positions. This forms the essential conflict of their relationship- MC entered a position he didn't fully understand too young, and was led by his scheming MIL to behave in tragically dangerous ways under the impression that this was the only way to solidify his position and ensure his desired future. The ML, also egged on by evil mother, hoped that distance from MC would lead him to become more restrained and thus protect himself better. Due to both this and his massive mental block about discussing his traumatic relationship with the woman who raised him, he ended up keeping secrets about the reasons he sent MC to the Cold Palace, and most importantly that it was supposed to be temporary. (He also didn't discuss MC's family with him because at the time MC was still violently resentful of his family, and wouldn't have listened.) However MC did not then suddenly develop a respect for the power of the imperial office and become humble, MIL had poisoned him with such paranoia that he truly believed he was being abandoned and should be in greater pain over it.

ML tried in the past to tell MC that their feelings were too sincere and they could not be happy in the palace, but MC didn't understand how torturous their expectations of each other would become. (This is because they got married as teenagers, who are not known for good long-term understanding of consequences.) MC also dismissed ML's vague warnings about his mother, due to trying to fill the codependency hole in his own heart. This bit him back hard, in ways even ML didn't possibly anticipate and was horrified to figure out.

MC is understandably resentful that his singleminded obsession with keeping hold of his man led to the loss of everything he had, and of ML's broken promises he had relied on for a genuine majority of his life. He feels wasted, regretful at his overwhelming fear, and as though he was wrong to trust anyone in the court. He takes this out on ML. ML is resentful of MC's immaturity, pigheadedness, inflexibility, insecurity, gullibility, and the fact that he attacked and drugged and r*ped him AND HE WAS FULLY JUSTIFIED IN GIVING HIM THE HEAD WOUND FRANKLY. Again, this is because they got married as teenagers, and ML had always been too mature for his own emotional realities due to abuse. He regrets trying so hard to be restrained and a good emperor, because ultimately he ended up without the person he wanted to protect with his power. This is his heart's knot. After rebirth, he allows himself to do the things he was too self-conscious to do in the past: use the imperial powers as he wished to make a big stink for his lover, speak frankly with his father in law, silence those who schemed and gossiped about MC, get rid of the harem he was disgusted by, destroy his mother's traitorous family, run around anywhere at all hours without care for his image, make food for his lover, be jealous of love rivals, leave his husband the spy organization, even head off a war with his advance knowledge and protect everyone better, etc... Whether all this is objectively good or bad is not the point of the story, it makes him feel truly happy to be true to his desires after sacrificing his life only to feel empty. We see the tragedy of the burden of the dragon robes, and also of trying to follow your heart against all odds. Ultimately the two come to realize that their life together can only be successful with a balance of both considerate rationality and selfish emotion, neither one or the other was enough on its own.

I am surprised by the negativity in these reviews. The MC and ML are both explicitly s*upid about their feelings and actions, and unable to weigh their emotional attachments against the political reality of demanded decorum. That's... kind of the point imo? I prefer to read hurt than a *boring* s*upid shou, that's for sure. A lot of what people consider fluffy is incredibly emotionally shallow. This feels really earned in a way crematorium novels aren't usually. I feel the gong was punished disproportionately, in fact! (Stop kicking himmm you big baby!) How rare is that? Look, MC was raised codependently and groomed to violent paranoia for like a decade by his mother in law. Of course it's going to be hard to be normal after that. The character would be inconsistent otherwise. The word obsessive is in the title. I don't understand being shocked and concerned about toxicity under these circumstances. What were you expecting? I was expecting entertainment, not a relationship guide for reality. Like ok, yeah, the flesh parts at the climax were A Lot, but it explicitly traumatized ML who experienced it, it wasn't supposed to feel fine? He was disgusted by and afraid of himself and felt like walking dead. We're not supposed to feel good about what he did. He doesn't regret it though, because he had snapped from the weight of his lifelong duties and his only wish was to reunite. This is as much for himself as for MC, because he sees MC as an extension of himself and as a symbol of his future. MC grows up all at once from the trauma of his own death, but still struggles to let go of his emotional fixation on ML, even if it has become sour and negative. It took him a life and death to stop his negative emotional fixation on his family, after all. And I think that was only because he switched targets to ML while he finally took some time to find himself, without the weight of his unprocessed grief and despair at abandonment and betrayal weighing him down. He only. trusted two people in his life enough to even feel abandoned and betrayed in the first place, his father and ML. Both of which he is able to freely express his care for by the end, even if he remains a pouting tsundere at times. That said, between being a tsundere, he had that exacerbated phase as a yandere, from which he knows he is the only person who understands ML's ultimate desire and torment. It's the final understanding of shared feelings that allows MC to feel the freedom to want ML again. He had been punishing himself as much as ML for their past mistakes.

It also wasn't confusing, at least on par with other period political dramas. Nothing special. Yes, even with the flashbacks. There weren't as many as in Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation. I don't get it. <<less
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nines
nines
Mar 01, 2022
Status: Completed
Don't be fooled by the reviews that it was a waste of time for them to read this. I believe that if you like a certain genre, then it wouldn't bore you no matter what kind of novel it is. If its not your cup of tea, then its not yours but I believe that trying to convince others that its not good before letting it try them on their own is a discourtesy to those that love to read.

For me, this was a wonderful tragedy novel. You ever heard... more>> of hurt/comfort? Well this is it. The composition and translation is actually really well done. Its not written by an amateur, that I can tell. In terms of translation, it is also well done! The colloquial terms was well blended to satisfy English readers.

Story progression wise, it was okay. Not too fast, not that dragging. I really like this because I love the classic miscommunication trope. And they miscommunicated A LOT. They have a toxic relationship but the love is there. Btw, it is not healthy to enforce real life common sense when it comes to reading novels like this. I suggest to read feel good novels and not tragedy ones if you cant handle angst.

I like the father-son relationship of YQ. It shows realistically that a child can really be sensitive and that trauma is real and can be carried over. I was never annoyed with YQ and his actions, the author explained really well even in the first chapters in how he came to have that personality. He was pampered as a child, and was pampered as an adult. He was tricked and gaslit by external factors and those influences molded him to be toxic. Emperor was toxic too. But I think that just because they are toxic characters then we should give up on them (i didn't). It was so lovely to read the extra chapters and I think it rounded out the whole story.

TLDR; Dont apply real word common sense in tragic novels. This is a wonderful hurt/comfort fic. Much angst to encounter but well deserved comfort in the end. <<less
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remyrem
remyrem
Jan 08, 2022
Status: --
This is a lot more serious than the summary seems, but it's a very good read. I'm really glad I gave it a shot even though the rating is so low. I MTLed though, so I can't comment on small details but I did get the general idea. Sonata123's review pretty much covers all of it for me, so my review is pretty much just my feelings while reading.

I really like how MC says a lot of things I was thinking, like c31 where he says "But so what? No... more>> matter how much Li Ying suffered and how much he couldn't help it, Yun Qingci was dead." ML's suffering does not excuse or erase MC's suffering. Now that the rose tinted glasses of love are off MC is prepared to make ML fully confront his scumminess, and no amount of ML throwing a pity party for himself is going to convince him to have mercy.

The actual scene of reconciliation was initially really frustrating to me since I wasn't in the mood to forgive him and I was mad that, like MC says, even when he was wronged he's still made out to be the bad guy. However, ML's actions were sudden and to the point enough that I was shocked into silence, and ML talking about MC reminded me about his personality and made me reconsider that this is probably the best reconciliation for him considering his personality.

From a reader's standpoint, I like that although the author makes excuses for ML, they also make sure to firmly say (through MC) that his actions don't just suddenly erase what MC went through and they only show ML's own inadequacies as a husband and emperor. On the other hand, although the author also shows that MC was also wrong and had issues, that doesn't mean he deserved to be hurt. In the end, they both suffer but become better (MC learns to love himself and not just give 100% of himself to someone else, and ML learns how to communicate and show his love).

This part of the review is from MTLing so I'm not sure if it was translated wrong:

Spoiler

One thing I actually didn't like is that the ML seems to have a curse that kills him when MC doesn't love him, which is such bullshit. I hate any kind of "I know I made you suffer but you need to stay with me and endure even more pain so I survive" scenario, especially when it's already been shown that ML himself wasn't prepared to do the same and inconvenience himself for the sake of MC's life before. In this case at least it's somewhat fine, since MC has a somewhat extreme idea of love and the curse+ML's sacrifice is used to show that ML is learning how to understand and reciprocate MC's love.

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NovelenthusiastIDK
Novelenthusi
Aug 12, 2022
Status: Completed
My only reaction to some of the reviews is "wtf". Often ML's get a pass no matter how shitty they are and MC's are blamed no matter what. This is the case I see here. I noticed people saying they're on ML's side because he had a right not to share any information with the MC. That is extremely wrong, MC was his wife and the fact that ML kept hiding things and indirectly ruining MC's life is not something that can be excused. Sure MC was paranoid and obsessed,... more>> but that's also partly because of ML's actions. If I were MC I would have gone crazy long before he did. Btw I don't recommend this for the weak of heart, reading this is like getting stabbed every second. When they get together it's extremely satisfying but the tear jerking moments take up most of the story. <<less
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Majin11
Majin11
Mar 12, 2023
Status: Completed
I have this little fetish when it comes to reading. To be more specific, it's a physical sensation it gives. A numbing sensation that travels through my body, from the top of my head and to the tip of my fingers and toes. I only experience it when a character is experiencing regret so much that he doesn't know what else to do to fix it.

The best sentence tho ... more>>
Spoiler

If you have to rely on pain to remember that you like me, what kind of liking is that? At best, it is a threat.

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Throw in *painful traumatized gasps* GIFS here.

My boy YunCi really speaking my trauma🤣😂🤣 <<less
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BoriCats
BoriCats
Aug 24, 2023
Status: Completed
I have to emphasize to those who forget that when they decided marry they were only 14 and 15. All of their decisions was also caused by their lack of experience and young age. The 4 years of their marriage, they were just teens and they were easily influenced by people around them, because they don't know better.

ML was immature to think that he can manage both the country and his husband. MC was immature to love someone wholeheartedly without leaving love to himself. They were at the age where... more>> they don't know better and it's hard to blame them when you realized they were just kids when all those things happen and they hardly grow from this immaturity.

It was terrible what they experienced but it taught us that to love someone, you have to love yourself first before loving someone. It also taught us that you can never love two things at the same time with all your heart, that love was bound to be divided and somehow one of them will be neglected.

I'll give 5 ⭐ to the author for creating such a wonderful story. This story has a good pacing, consistency and characterization. I think this will not be effective if the author had no good grasp of understanding between the two main characters. They were very consistent with their personalities, they were fleshed out. I also love how the author knows how to create a great scenario and conversations (either happy, sad, or angry) between the characters in the story. That's what made this more worth to read. The level of understanding how to create opportunities and the grasp of how to make realistic situation and history was very high in this book and worth recommending. The subtle attentive nature of the author to create micro details and nuances brought more shine to this book.

Actually, I never expected to finish this book. Halfway to the story I was on the verge of dropping this down not because I don't like it but because I thought after they confessed that they're from the future from each other, the story will be predictable and will follow the common trope of the ML paying for his past actions and MC forgiving him eventually. But boy, I didn't know how wrong I was. The story took turns in areas I didn't expect and the author was thorough with how he go over with the sequence of events. I didn't care at first about the reasons, especially with the ML side as I already know that he's not really that at fault and he has reasons why he did those things, I just don't care about him that time so I didn't waited for the part where it was eventually explained and I was pulled in a rollercoaster ride. I'm not gonna say more to that, I'm just glad I read some reviews that made me come to the book. I always use the reviews when I'm dropping a book to consolidate reasons on why I'll drop it, reading from the negative reviews. But I'm glad I continued this one. It was worth it.

I also have to give a lot of thanks and recognition to the translating team for translating the story very well. I feel that it was written beautifully despite knowing that translating from mandarin to english is hard and sometimes a lot of important details, meanings, object and prose got lose in the translation but this one made a good job.

To those who love to read a good book, read this. You may react with me differently after reading this but I know those who had good eye for evaluating a book will appreciate this. Lovelots and thank you author for introducing such book in my life. <<less
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WrenWx
WrenWx
Aug 21, 2022
Status: --
If you like crematorium novels and you're okay with an ML getting eviscerated by the MC, I mean verbally beat down, apologies denied, romantic gestures rebuffed, heart stomped on, you're going to want to stick around for this one.

Mind the knives. Angst aplenty.
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jinkies
jinkies
Feb 25, 2022
Status: Completed
Rated 5/5 because I don't think I have quite cried as much reading other novels as this one. The pacing is just so good.

The deteoriation of their relationship was the result of lack of communication, lack of trust and being manipulated against each other and for each other on the ML's part. This culminated in the tragedy of MC's misunderstanding and his su*cide.

I usually stay away from such stories and contemplated dropping it multiple times but I think perhaps, what I liked about this story— and why I stayed— is... more>> then that the main character was unapologetically ugly. Oh I might dislike their actions, I might not agree but I cannot say I do not get it. I cannot say their behaviour is unrealistic, or that I do not see myself empathising or see them reflected in the people I see walking around. I think there is a certain rawness here you might find hard to see elsewhere. It's not just the MC and ML who have f*cked up relationships with each other but their parents' as well and how it affected them. My personal observations is that the direction of stories lately is to try and write the idealised respectful and wholesome romance. I do think these are relationships that we should strive for but reality is that a lot of us are very selfish people with our own issues. We are not always smart in what we do and f*ck up; a lot of such f*ck ups generally are ones pertaining to communicating, especially with our loved ones. This story shows how our own flaws are compounding; they do not exist in isolation and it is damaging. It ruins relationships. It inflicts generational trauma. It ends lives.

The rebirth trope here is used to show you how a do over button is not a magic cure-all, and that you will always have to live with the consequences of your actions both physically and emotionally. There is growth on both MC and the ML, but it is a long and arduous process in the road to redemption and recovery. It is definitely not healthy— and for the longest time I struggled because of the MC and his behaviour. But I realise, it's not his fault he was manipulated, not his fault he was sheltered, not his fault he misunderstood and not his fault he struggles to forgive and forget. He reacted ugly, but you cannot expect perfect, smart victims. I also struggled with how ML decides to continue torturing himself, or how he accepts the abuse and the blame, but that's just his character. Sometimes, we just have to accept people's choices and adapt to it. It might be HE, but it's still ultimately a very bittersweet one. The extras are from their life before marriage, and is so so especially sweet, that when you think of what the future holds, your heart gets torn to shreds. <<less
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Fuchou
Fuchou
Jun 07, 2022
Status: Completed
The MC is so unlikeable, periodt. He throws tantrums after tantrums, is an unapologetic hypocrite, and generally just an ancient chinese Karen. I despise him but the story is good (if not frustrating). Like he's expecting the world to revolve around him and have ML be in his beck and call once he found out ML would give way to anything he likes. I actually wanted them to break up so ML could take a break but unfortunately ML is similarly obsessed as former him over his selfish ass.

God, I... more>> could write 10k words just explaining why I hate this type of MC. I even thought at first that MC is pitiful etc etc and see some good face slapping. But no, MC deserved what he got. ML didn't.

In the first place, when you're in love with someone, you do not demand them to love you with the same equal fervor. Love is not a give and take. It is freely given. I can say that ML is undoubtedly in love with him since he was willing
Spoiler

to tear their marriage off because MC kept demanding and because he wanted MC to be happy. Then MC gives a tantrum again, says he doesn't want to get divorced and ML is pitifully happy, like a dog given some scraps. It was disgusting to see. It did not give me flutters. At all.

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This is a good example of a toxic romance, I suppose. Kiddos, don't let your relationships degrade into this sh*t and actually have a conversation with your partner, yes? If not, then break up and find someone who will appropriately cherish you. <<less
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Robin Medea
Robin Medea
May 21, 2022
Status: c68
Spoiler

This story is great, you wanna see two bullheaded psychopaths dance the dysfunctional tango with each other to compete who can be the ultimate sicko in the relationship?

You wanna see a petty MC who makes irrational choices but because of rational circumstances?

Maybe you wanna see a ML that is so messed in the head his therapist's therapist needs a therapist?

Their relationship is beautiful dysfunctional trainwreck you can't help but apploud, and I enjoyed every minute of it

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EUGEO SYNTHESIS
EUGEO SYNTHE
Apr 14, 2022
Status: --
People in the comments keep saying that both (MC and ML) are crazy, there are also those who say that all of this happened because of a misunderstanding.

But in fact, all of this happened because MC is a hypocrite who always thinks he is right and never makes a mistake.

I mean, of course it's sad that you died tragically in your last life... but is it your partner's fault??? He already said that he wanted to separate from the start because he doubted he could be with you on the... more>> throne... he was afraid he would hurt you because he had to have a harem... But didn't you reject him??? NO!!! You chose to stick around, and as a result you drove yourself crazy...

I don't understand why none of the comments can understand ML position??? he is the Emperor of course he must prioritize his kingdom and his people, this is something realistic that the Emperor must do... Even MC's own father is one of the reasons why ML is behaving like this, but how come no one sees it???

Even so, in the end ML still makes MC the main priority over the kingdom, but still MC doesn't understand that and messes up everything until he ends up cornered and commits su*cide... which is not ML fault, but here he is still blaming ML even though ML has explained the facts.

He always says "I've died for you once, so it's all your fault..."

NO, you didn't die for him, you didn't die for the kingdom, you die for yourself... You die because you don't understand the situation... You die because of your own selfishness.

Honestly what happend to ML is really sad, from the first life to the second life he had to be stuck in a terrible position and no one ever understood him until the end... He had to keep getting hurt over and over again, until dying which was not something he should deserve to get. <<less
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earlydiaries
earlydiaries
Feb 24, 2022
Status: Completed
i really have to laugh at the people calling this romantic or sweet without regard for what happened in between haha! No malice though! Just don't disregard everything that happened, because the point of this story isn't our ML getting another chance.

first of all, some trigger warnings for this novel: gore, body horror, domestic violence, abusive relationship, lots of disgusting or disturbing imagery. Second, this relationship isn't at all healthy even though it's trying to be and is comparably better to their relationship in their past life. It still ends... more>> with them having an unhealthy dynamic. Ml, in a way, regresses in the way he thinks about love. Last, the way they resolved everything and how each got their retribution were so extreme, it could be described as extremely extreme.

plot: 3.5/5 for a sort of revenge & tragedy novel, I love how this was written. MC lets ML suffer after having neglected him as a husband in their past life. MC also suffers a bit for being vengeful and less considerate of ml's situation in the past. No faceslapping or dog blood and just "i suffered, so f*ck you" which is ridiculous but i've been looking for a novel like this. An MC who has been treated poorly being able to vent and humiliate the ML in the same manner. So much fun to read if you want exactly that lolol

romance: 2/5 if you ask me, this is not a romance novel. You don't go reading this for romance. It's not a argue > fight > reconcile kind of thing. It's not toothrotting fluff and no dog food. Moreover, I don't consider it romance because it looks more like the two of them still learning to love the other. Romance, to me, is for people who are done with the learning and are already in the loving stage with just the occasional bumps. The MC and ML were in love but they didn't have the romance for majority of the novel.

characters: 3/5 passable. I love how human the MC and ML are. I also love that side characters aren't randomly dropped (except for ml's younger brother lol). There is no villain. The MC and ML are both extreme but in different ways. However, I don't like how it isn't really explained how MC resorted so fast to killing. We see a possible reason for why he starts but never the first breaking point when it apparently wasn't in his character to be so cruel. However, I love how he takes a step back and makes it a point not to love ML the same way he loved him in their past life. He tries to love in a healthier way. What I do dislike is ML going in the opposite direction. It's good that he becomes more affectionate, open, etc but he becomes self-deprecating in such a calm manner and continues to blame himself and feels himself deserving of having to experience the excruciating pain (ahem) he experiences without the MC.

pacing: 5/5 well-done. It's justttt right. Author really takes the time for each part of the novel.

Spoiler

both of these characters had their reasons why their relationship in the past didn't work and I agree with the one reviewer here who mentioned how everything in their past life needed to happen for them to be happy in their current life. Mc's love was obsessive and possessive. It was very unhealthy. He was losing himself in the relationship. You're supposed to still keep yourself solid while being in a relationship aka save some love for yourself. However, I understand things only got out of hand because of things behind the scenes (i won't specify), since MC wasn't originally that kind of person. On the other hand, ML had to take over the role of being the emperor at a very young age and without anyone to guide him and help him balance how to be a good emperor and a good husband. He was so focused on trying to be a good emperor, he forgot about the person he loved. However, he never explained the reason for anything he did and he was very harsh to the MC. I understand there were things he had to do to protect the MC and stuff he had to do to maintain power but I don't think it explains or justify why he went completely cold and harsh on MC to the point of ignoring him completely. That was the one part I couldn't understand or accept. It's like he let go of their relationship once he couldn't put a leash on the MC. He forgot what kind of person the MC was and didn't notice if anything was wrong. Well, it's because he's busy with the country but is there really any excuse to be an as*hole to your spouse or an as*hole in general? Not really. Can I mention though that I loved how sadistic and vengeful the MC was. It's just so refreshing to have an MC who vents when he needs to vent and gets the exact kind of revenge he needs. I didn't really come here to read a pure and healthy novel even though I'm glad it did try to become healthy in the end. MC needed that wake up call to take a step back and remember who he was before the relationship. ML needed the wake up call to take a step back and remember he also has a role outside of being an emperor. The main story's ending was my favorite part I think because it reflected what we all probably wanted deep down and how these two will move forward in their relationship.

"At this moment, he was not the Son of Heaven, nor the emperor. He was simply Li Ying running to Yun Qingci." the two kids, now adults, who fell in love with each other, loving each other. MC has learned to wait and give the ML more room to express himself and initiate things. ML has learned to be more affectionate and expressive to MC.

there are definitely things in their relationship that are missing: relying on each other, being completely secure with each other, having full trust in each other, and the fact that their relationship doesn't seem like how it was originally before everything went downhill. But, I guess, that is also one effect and consequence of everything that happened. It's irreparable. And that is true to reality. No matter the clearing of misunderstandings and getting evens, a relationship will never stay the same. But if it means the MC can love in a healthier way, then that's a good step forward. The ML still needs help with how to love as he thinks living with chronic pain is deserved and he becomes very self-deprecating after all this. He has to remember that he made the right choice for the country and MC even tells him this. Just that he shouldn't be such a jerk to MC like before.

a good and completely refreshing read that somehow motivated me to keep going haha the development is just so good! It starts out dark and cruel but the writer shows you that things can't stay that way. There still needs to be change and that no matter how wronged you feel and you are, there are consequences to everything and there are still reasons why you need to be more understanding and compassionate.

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to those who keep thinking this is romance and a proper second chance novel where the ML is meant to get back with the MC and they have a HE, this is not for you. If you ask me, those who described this novel as such did not get the point of this novel. Mc's revenge was never a "i'll just make him suffer for a bit then we'll be okay again" type. MC wanted ML to suffer and then he'd have him out of his life. This was purely revenge. If MC didn't change his mind, ML wouldn't have gotten a second chance and this only came up after their misunderstandings were cleared up and the MC realized the ML really felt remorse and suffered to get him back. If he hadn't seen all that, the ML would be completely out of his life. It's a little frustrating for people to ignore that this is the point of the story rather than the romance when frankly, this barely passes as a love story and wouldn't even have been one if we think about how MC originally wanted to be without ml. Moreover, it disregards the mc's character. Thinking this is a romantic second chance novel erases how MC was trying to grow out of being just the ml's lover because saying this is romance basically means MC was meant to be with ML in the end when he wasn't. Sorry if I'm coming on a little too strong about this haha but hey, if you were trying to separate from someone to be your own person and the people who knew about you and your ex just thought you were gonna get back with them again anyway, how would you feel? Doesn't it feel like they're treating you as less of your own person and more of "that's [so's name]'s person." that's exactly what the MC doesn't want. But again, it's his choice whether he does get back with the ML or not. Just don't forget what he tried to work so hard for please! <<less
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mirali
mirali
Feb 19, 2022
Status: Completed
It's easy to judge the characters from the modern point of view or ignoring their life experience. Like, the MC was not nice enough and easily manipulated, the ML didn't demonstrate his love actively enough and, by the way, they should have just talked and everything would have been fine. Sure thing, both the MC and the ML are very flawed. But the author does an amazing job showing why they are the way they are. The MC was basically an abandoned child. Till seven years old he was raised... more>> by his mother who had mental problems and apparently left her husband and a bunch of children because of the rumors that he was unfaithful. When the seven-year-old MC meets his father and adores him, that father pretty quickly betrays him and leaves him in danger, resulting in the MC's ruined health and, eventually, the death of his mother. After that, what does the MC have? He is eight years old (actually, seven years old emotionally, because he spent a year in a coma) and he is left to live alone, without a single adult person he can trust. Right, he has a friend, the ML, who earns his trust... and then repeatedly ditches him and pushes him away because he thinks it will be the right thing to do. Of course, when he meets a woman who looks kind and who is his friend's mother, he trusts her by default.

The ML in the first life is just as lonely and has no one to rely on. Right, he's older than the MC when he's left to fend for himself, but his responsibility is much bigger. He is stretched so tight that he simply doesn't emotional and physical resources to be both a good emperor and a good husband/lover. He should've paid more attention to the MC, of course, he should've. But he couldn't. He has a lot of time to pursue the MC in the second life, but it's exactly because in the first life he spent all his time on making the right decisions for the country. Oh, right, and the MC's father demonstrated his unique ability to ditch people when they need him the most in regard of the ML as well. (I really didn't like the MC's father, what can I say... I felt sorry for his end in the first life but still, he was very... unreliable).

The first life of the MC and the ML was tragic but they needed it to be able to have a good life in after rebirth. (Oh well, I'm not sure the ML is having a good life; I really balk at the thought of living with a chronic pain. But it's his choice and he is obviously happy and thinks it's worth it. And I do think the MC loves him in the second life not less than he loved him in the first. Evene though he says he won't but it's just words; his actions show and prove his love.)

I expected the story to be a little lighter when I started reading it. Or, maybe, it was lighter, I remember there were many funny and cute moments in the last chapters of the main story. It's just that the extras that tell about the early years of the MC and the ML are somewhat bittersweet. Still, I'm happy I've read it. <<less
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1NHUM4N3
1NHUM4N3
Feb 14, 2022
Status: c60
The angst ripped out my heart and stomped on it. 10/10 exceptional. The author has an excellent sense of narrative timing, especially in regards to the main cp. MC and ML rip each other apart, but in the best of ways.

The book is, essentially, two people learning from their past mistakes and growing as people, both individually and together.
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Lunica
Lunica
Feb 11, 2022
Status: Completed
I don't know why this has a low score. It's a BL reincarnation angst tragedy but with a happy ending. I guess not everyone will like it but it doesn't deserve a score below 4.

Summary:

... more>>
Spoiler

There are 2 lifetimes. In the first life the MC was persuaded by other people to act wicked and kill. The ML was constrained by other people to keep acting aloof. In the end the MC felt the ML didn't love him and killed himself.

ML used a spell by hurting himself and dying to reverse time. The time went back but the him in his 1st life didn't go back. So the 1st life is a Bad Ending, they both died.

In the 2nd life the MC promises not to love the ML and is cold. The ML decide to put MC first over everything and acts "crazy" because he is the one to kill all the people in their way now. He throws away his image of a kind emperor. ML also suffers from like PTSD as he recalls how MC died several times. Later they find out both are reincarnated.

At first MC is upset at ML still. But he learns about how ML suffered after his death and realizes how much ML sacrificed to turn back time and they reunite reconcile and it's a happy ending. ML learns to put the MC first and the MC continues to love him with all his heart.

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It's well written and the pacing is good. I wish there were more fluffy moments towards the end to counteract all the hurt in the beginning. Just give it a try if you like angst with a happy ending, or dog blood romance. <<less
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