My Wife Always Thought I Did Not Love Him


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A car accident made Xia Yao return to his third year of high school, he finally has the opportunity to make up for everything he regrets. The mistakes that have been made can now be mended. So when Xia Yao once again meets Zhou Du, the target of his unrequited love, he decides to choose a completely different route.

If you don’t love me, then I’m willing to set you free.

However, things seem to turn out completely different than what Xia Yao expected.

Before rebirth—

Xia Yao: I like you.

Zhou Du: What did you say?

After rebirth—

Zhou Du: I like you.

Xia Yao: I only see you as a classmate.

Zhou Du: ……【But that’s not what your diary said!】

Also known as 《A love affair triggered by a diary》

Associated Names
One entry per line
Xífù Zǒng Yǐwéi Wǒ Bù ài Tā
媳妇总以为我不爱他 (重生)
Related Series
The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System (3)
The Founder of Diabolism (2)
Otoko Darake no Isekai Trip ~BL wa Okotowari~ (1)
Cold Sands (1)
The Path of the Cannon Fodder’s Counterattack (1)
Rebirth of a Movie Star (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. (Wholesome) Modern Day BL
  2. Novels that I've finish reading
  3. BL I want to read
  4. My BL part 2
  5. Read and Done(YAOI)

Latest Release

Date Group Release
10/26/17 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c10
10/11/17 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c9
10/06/17 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c8
09/21/17 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c7
09/16/17 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c6
08/25/17 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c5
08/20/17 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c4
08/05/17 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c3
08/05/17 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c2
07/13/17 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c1
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44 Reviews sorted by

Irissska O_o
New Irissska O_o rated it
August 3, 2020
Status: Completed
I did enjoy the the story however cannot resist complaining a bit.

1. The story would not suffer if they just removed transmigrating part cz it was so insignificant. It would be more interesting if they played more with this subject.

2. Or if for e.g. both of the characters transmigrated but did not know that the other did too and both would expect certain things from each other according to their previous life but did not get them as both would try to do better this time thus creating many confusing/funny... more>> situations and misunderstandings.

3. Not sure why ML personality changed so much in comparison to his old self. I mean it is understandable that circumstances at the beginning changed but still that did not explain such a drastic change in the personality.

4. What has happened to other couple? The last we know WH came to stay at ZD house and then next day ZD has XY staying for the night and we never hear about WH and/or ZY ever again...

5. Also relationship with XY's father would benefit if it could be developed a little bit more.

6. Still cannot understand why so many events not dependant on MC's transmigration were changed. Like ML reading his diary vs WH in last life or MC's father coming out of nowhere...

7. The ending was very abrupt. It was kind of out of nowhere. I did not expect that that paragraph would be the last and stared at <the end> in confusion for some time.

But despite of all the above said I still kind of liked the story. Not smth I would reread or recommend but I did not drop it half way as I often do if the story is too boring. <<less
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New sakura_killua rated it
August 2, 2020
Status: Completed
Too much misunderstanding and angst from lack of communications. So, at some point, I just jump chapters and I don't miss much. The ML is obviously in love with MC since chapter 1. I mean ML spend 7 years with MC, if ML didn't like MC, he could break it off easily anytime in that 7 years period, but MC never consider it. Keep himself busy with self pity & guilty without ever asking just once how ML feeling towards him before saying "Lets break up"? What the hell???? Then,... more>> keep the misunderstanding when do over, continuing keep things to himself without communicating with ML. The hell???? <<less
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LadyBlue rated it
August 15, 2017
Status: c16
Premise- XiaYao & Zhou Du have been together for 7 yrs. However, Xia Yao feels like Zhou Du does not love him and decides to break up. However, both of them have a car accident when returning home. And XiaYao finds himself 7 yrs in the past, in his high school days, just before he confesses to Zhou Du.

He decides not to confess to Zhou Du this time. However, ZH finds XY's diary (and never gives it back) and is like, "your diary says you love me so why are... more>> you avoiding me!!!!!!. ZY seems to be quite tsundere lol. From the first chapter it's quite clear that ZH loves XY, however, the misunderstanding seems to be because XY kinda blackmails ZY to date him, and has always felt guilty about it. ZY seems to have a hard time expressing his emotions. This novel has quite a bit of drama with just the right amount of sweetness. I recommend it to people who like cuddly, fluffy, dramatic romances <<less
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Honey B
Honey B rated it
May 15, 2019
Status: c55
First, I must say, the translation was brilliant. No complaints from them. Part of why I didn't give it less stars.

Second, the story started pretty good. The sweetness between the MC and ML was cute. Loved it at first...

Then around chapter 50 the story pissed me the F*CK off!!

... more>> How are you a grown man that came from a previous life still acting so d*man naive? What was the point of him getting a second chance at life??

He got a do over and yet he still hasn't learned to communicate with the man he supposedly loves. He doesn't mention the important things allowing craploads of misunderstandings. During most of this book I kind of felt sorry for the ML because it felt like the MC wasn't even trying to help their relationship though he swore he loves the ML.


for example, the MC's mother gets sick, at the same time his estranged dickhead of a father shows up. But does he mention any of this to the man he so call loves? H*LL NO! Instead he suffers in silence while the ML is trying his best to be supportive, calling, visiting, cherishing the MC. I get that he was trying to better focus on his mother this life time, but the love felt so one sided that the ML was an afterthought: that's not love. Then when his parents find out he's gay, he allows them to dictate his life and so breaks up with the one man that will to support him unconditionally... WTF!!! IF YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE, YOU'D RATHER LIVE A LIE?!? The MC supports his mother 100%, but his mother starts ignoring him? He accept his douche bag father's help in order to pay for medical expenses, yet she refuses to allow him to be happy?!?!

And another thing, the ML takes money from the a$$hole father who never did sh*t for him, yet refuses to tell his boyfriend he needs money, whose family would bend over backwards for him since the MC did donate bone marrow for the ML's baby sister. SERIOUSLY!?!

Not only does he break up and decide to go overseas, there is a time skip??? You mean years went by without clearing up anything?? I'm done.


I quit about Chapter 55 because I was furious. There is just so much I can take when it come to misunderstandings in stories. The MC wasn't worth my time at this point and the ML deserves better as far as I'm concerned.

But the translation was good. <<less
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PotatoCakes rated it
June 7, 2018
Status: Completed
This novel's premise is incredibly interesting - the rebirth scenario is set up well in the beginning. However, the whole point of rebirth is that the MC have foreknowledge of events that will occur. However, events that did not occur in the original timeline randomly appear (even though the MC's actions couldn't have possibly triggered these new events). At that point, the whole premise of rebirth was cheapened.

The characters themselves were likeable enough, nothing revolutionary. The emotional aspect was done really well, which is rare for Chinese BL novels. The... more>> ending and everything after high school felt like a pointless Korean drama. Translation quality is okay. <<less
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ike_00000 rated it
June 29, 2019
Status: Completed
The premise was okay, like the idea of "I felt like I pressured my bf into a relationship so when I go back in time I won't do it again". However, it's still hard to believe that MC would think ML didn't like him after staying with him for so long???? This story is full of unnecessary angst.

And here is my biggest problem with this story.

Basically, I really can't like MC. He's such a typical weak, naive and helpless bottom that it is really very irritating. He's seriously throwing the... more>> ML around as if his feelings don't matter, one-sidedly pressing his feelings on him and thus causing all sorts of unnecessary misunderstandings. Honestly, the whole time, it's clear that ML really likes him but MC just sat there waiting to be chased!! Very selfishly not considering ML's feelings basically at all. Does he even like him??? Or just the idea of him?? Or just the "him" from the past life!!

And, of course, the parents suck. But all the commenters have covered that sufficiently. <<less
8 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
August 20, 2017
Status: c4
I just started reading the novel but can already grasp that a really big misunderstang is going on btwn these two. Obviously both are in love with each other in their previous life but one is too stubborn (tsundere) & the other is feeling guilty over his method of obtaining his love. Cannot wait to see how their love will progress this time around since the MC's love interest will confess first. (&Gt;_<)

Love the translation. Glad they picked this up.
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lyn rated it
November 20, 2017
Status: Completed
I MTL-ed the raws so I don't know how accurate that is. But I can say from what I read that this novel is great. It is fluffy at some part but full of angst and drama as well. So many misunderstandings and so many

parties that try to break them apart, especially.. cough.. the mother.. cough.. And they really did break up.. ╥﹏╥ It is so angsty until everything is solved at the very last chapters.

So.... happy ending.... (づ ̄ ³ ̄) づ... yeayyyy...

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RoseAmethyst remembrance
RoseAmethyst remembrance
April 13, 2019
Status: Completed
I have a lot of gripes about this novel. The only reason why I was able to read through the entire novel was because I liked the ML. The ML is like a modern version of Lan Wangji from Founder of Diabolism. Both of them are full of surprises in their behaviors that is unexpected of their stoic disposition. ML always had a way of pulling me back in whenever I got turned off.

... more>>

There was an implication that the ML from the past life actually liked the MC who believed the opposite


By logic, any deviances that occurs should have been the result of the transmigrater's interference. Yet, there were several unexplained deviances that couldn't possibly been influenced by the MC.


MC's father approached the MC when the MC never even got to lean of his identity in the canon.

Supposedly he wanted to take responsibility as a parent but I suspect his real reason has to do with his current wife's failed pregnancies. However, these failed pregnancies couldn't possibly been caused by the MC.

In the end, it seems like this character appeared simply to create unnecessary drama. The father was homophobic and caused friction in between the MC and ML.


Wanghao is the one of them. He was homophobic and bullied the MC in his previous life, but in this life, he was supportive of their relationship and became close friends with the MC.

This change in his character was never explained and just simply did not make sense.

What really gets on my nerves is that many of these deviations worked in the MC's favor. The biggest gamechanger being.....


The diary.

The events around this diary held the key to determining how the relationship between MC and the ML would develop.

Despite it's huge role in the first chapter, it's significance is never explored afterwards.

The first thing that the MC tried to do was to alter the event related to the diary. He seeks out the place where the diary was held at the time only to find out it wasn't there.

Why did the whereabouts of the diary changed even before the MC transmigrated?

This little deviation from the original timeline conveniently resolved most of the problems between the MC and ML.

The lack of exploration surrounding the significance of the diary is by far the biggest disappointment in this novel.


When it comes to the MC, he's very docile, naïve, and sweet-tempered. It's cute, but this personality of his is very out of place for someone who's an older guy who carried the weight of his guilt for 7 years.
Another criticism of mine is the random drama surrounding the background characters. These random dramas were more or less deviations from the previous life and had nothing to do with the MC. The drama fades along with those characters without any real conclusion or exploration into their perspectives. It's like these deviations occurred just to create drama! UGHHH!

Like many reviewers, I dislike the ending. I could barely call it an ending. It ended at such a weird place and the extras don't really make it feel any more complete.

Despite all my tr*sh talk, I did find the read enjoyable because of the ML and how the characters had to deal with the stigma around homosexuality which is weirdly not present in most gay novels that I've read. <<less
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earlgreyt rated it
March 28, 2019
Status: Completed
This is an angst/tragedy filled BL story that follows the rebirth of the MC through his high school years to adulthood.

I liked that the struggles that the MC and ML go through are very realistic. The MC especially, as a gay person, has to confront coming out to his family, economic struggles living with his single mother, and his deep feelings of guilt and inadequacy from his previous life. His relationship with his boyfriend also goes through the stages of a pure/naive first love to the complicated issues of early... more>> adulthood.

However, I'm not a big fan of "extremely guilty/self-sacrificial/suffering-alone" type MCs.

There is a huge lack of communication with the MC keeping everything inside and hidden, which contributes to waves upon waves of unending angst and self-flagellation. In his previous life, he did the chasing to the ML and gave up everything for love.

Reborn with regrets in the second life, the MC instead plays the part of the person who is constantly running away and trying to make everyone else happy, instead of himself or the ML.


This makes a lot of the drama/angst feel unnecessary or dragged out. The story becomes unbalanced, weighted too heavily on the angst with hardly any fluff or humor to offset it because the MC is so completely self-defeating.

He gives up very quickly on any new relationship troubles because of crippling fear that he is not good enough; the kind that thinks "I'm not good enough so I should just give up now" the moment anything happens, leaving the ML to pull all the weight towards reconciliation or clearing up misunderstandings.

Furthermore, the author spends too much time describing all the problems and heavy feelings and too little time describing the resolutions or fluff, so the reader hardly gets a break from the constant arrows to the gut.

The translation group is really good, so everything read very clearly. If you like angst/endless misunderstandings and don't mind characters with zero self-worth, then you will enjoy this! <<less
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KongKwong rated it
March 2, 2019
Status: Completed
I'd give this one three and a half stars. Those endless waves of mutual misunderstandings, hesitation and inner agony were driving me craaaazy. I also feel like the story before the rebirth could've been played out better. Side characters don't have much of charisma or sense of presence. Around chapter 50 I found myself contemplating whether it worth my time to finish reading the novel.

The story had an interesting idea at the beginning but is was not progressed properly. I can't sympathize with any of the characters at any of... more>> their overly dramatic moments. Somehow it feels like I've been deceived by the author... <<less
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LazyDays rated it
August 19, 2018
Status: c29
Misunderstandings galore!

It's basically an overly-guilty/angsty time traveller X EQ-retard.

In other words, one guy has a decade of emotional baggage, and the other has zero idea on relationships.

Flangst. Angst for the first 20 chapters then fluff, surrounded by "Oh god why are you doing that you idiot character" moments.

As it is, it's it's mainly a romance story, with time travel not really having any impact except relationship wise.
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amruta rated it
December 24, 2019
Status: Completed
Would have given 4 stars if this did not have rebirth

No complaints about the translation. It’s great.

I pity the ML in this story. It’s clear that the ML loved the MC in their first life. Even if the ML never said it.

The MC learns nothing from his rebirth. He decides to be a good son and not force the ML into a relationship this time around. They still end up together. So far so good. But what does the MC do? He still takes decisions that affect both the MC... more>> and ML on his own. MC never communicates clearly with the ML which obviously leads to misunderstandings. This would have been fine if the MC was not reborn. But he was. Which makes me think he did not deserve his second chance at all. <<less
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ehkilis rated it
June 27, 2019
Status: Completed
First off

I really hate the parents, specifically the MCs. Like seriously, what right did the mom have to take him away from his BF? NO. DANG. RIGHT. SMH

I also hate the MC he has no backbone and no brain.
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erikvio rated it
February 11, 2019
Status: c50
Overall, it's pretty cute and fluffy, but the plot points grate on you after a while.

Xia Yao, a near middle-aged man with a few regrets in his life, is presented with a chance to live his life a second time starting in high school. One of his biggest insecurities is that he believes he extorted his long term partner Zhou Du into having a relationship with him. He resolves to leave ZD alone this time around, and it's up to ZD, who has a really low EQ, to chase XY.

The... more>> story has its cute moments. The annoying thing is that the plot is centered around a never-ending series of misunderstandings between the two characters as they're both pretty bad at communicating with each other. XY also has the emotional processing, problem solving skills, and coping mechanisms of a tween, not someone who's supposedly lived two lives. When he's faced with a problem, he generally just lets it happen, stresses about it for ages, and avoids/ignores it rather than take steps towards a resolution until he has no choice or it blows up in his face. He's just really passive overall, and I found it to be quite grating. <<less
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Boinkers rated it
December 10, 2017
Status: Completed
Well another good BL story. Full of fluffs. I actually wanna rate this 4.5 because im not satisfied with how the author ended the story. I did not expected the author to just end it like that.. I just wished that the author put more sidestories or extras, but sadly only done 1 side story cut into 3 parts (thats the 3 side stories you see on top). (╥_╥)

Any ways I kinda have fun reading this thou.. Thanks to the translators of this novel. Kudos to you guys~... more>> you really did a great job in translating. Im hoping for a second read once translated version is done

(๑・ω-) ~♥" <<less
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yourheatherness1297 rated it
November 4, 2017
Status: c11

one of the most adorable bl novels ever! So much fluff! But there are also times when you just want to cry because of the MC's insecurities about he ML's feelings for him.

this is not your usual romance novel. There is so much more to this than the stereotypical boy meets boy novel.

I can't really describe it. It's better to just read it and then you'll understand.

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Melange rated it
May 19, 2020
Status: Completed
Ugh, this was pretty bad. It's not very well written and the transitions come out of nowhere. The change in setting sometimes makes no sense. For instance, one second they're in the bedroom and the next moment they're on the balcony going back into the room??? Or MC's going to talk to someone's dad and all of the sudden they're in the car to the hospital...

Furthermore MC acts NOWHERE NEAR his age. Wanna watch MC regress from 30 to 13? Well you're in for a treat!

Other reviewers mentioned this is... more>> a painful read and yeah, they're right. It was painful. If anything, just read the first and last 10 chapters of the novel to save yourself a lot of unnecessary angst and keep your brain cells. <<less
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BaiYihan rated it
April 7, 2020
Status: c70
I was crying the whole time I was reading this. The misunderstandings were well written and made me want to shout at the MC and ML to talk to each other and see what was really going on. The side characters had back ground story's as well. And I found myself look forward to them instead of just skipping ahead to the main characters interactions.
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Eferia123 rated it
December 22, 2019
Status: c70
The starting for the novel is really good. But toward the end, you can feel the frustration toward the MC for being a pitiful and weak person, even though he had been reborn again..

Sign.. I endure reading all of it until the end and the ending made me feel sad for the ML. I mean, ML is his boyfriend and because of family issues that MC like 'ohh like break up..' to ML.

Me while reading this, want to filp the table and shout at that stu***! MC for be a... more>> coward toward his so call love!!

For the first time I feel really bad toward the ML than the MC. I mean you can still talk and discuss together.. But no.. MC said to ML that he is to weak for ML.. Ohh common!!

Sign.. But I guess it still a happy ending.. <<less
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The1Rin rated it
November 4, 2019
Status: Completed
I really liked the story it had a lot of sweet parts and emotional, it got boring sometimes in the middle but past those, the story gets good and VERY sad. In the end, tho I wish there was more about their future and what happened to the other future where MC dies (maybe a bit more scenes with the MC and ML misunderstanding)
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crackerfountain rated it
November 3, 2019
Status: c40
The translation quality is quite good and I have no qualms on that but this novel is just so.........

The beginning started off very promising with the rebirth aspect and all and there were moments were I screamed in excitement but there is one thing that just disperses my opinion on this novel.

Its the misunderstandings that just keep occurring every other chapter between the MC and ML. Most of it is due to the MC just not being able to stand his ground and say no to people hitting on him.... more>> Like cmon man! You have lived two lives yet you don't even know how to refuse someone. I also don't think, he thinks about the ML before doing anything. Also his whole character of being shy and embarrassed and stuff is mainly just not my thing. I prefer MCs who are more open and energetic and not like a white lotus with no IQ. I guess I'm being biased on that aspect.

Now for the ML. I absolutely love his cuteness. I almost feel bad that he fell for the MC since he might just get a heart attack one day from his beloved not knowing how to say no or boundaries.

The side characters are actually more lovable than the MC himself since they actually have personality. I would've preferred if the ML was liked by one of them lmao

This is the first review I've ever written so it's not very good but overall if you want a book that has a naive white lotus MC that is shy to the bottom of the earth, and like to read misunderstandings that just stumble from outta nowhere, have a knock at this novel. One more thing I would like to say is there is a huge lack of communication between the main couple. The MC doesn't talk, so the ML, being the blockhead he is, doesn't know how he feels and they go into a circle that doesn't stop rotating. <<less
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