I Will Disappear, Grand Duke

Description

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Fernan Caesar, the ruler of the North who came back from the war.

The man, who was perfect in everything, was the only good memory of Julia’s unhappy childhood.

When she was told that he was going to be her husband, Julia believed in the existence of God for the first time.

But…

“If there’s anything you want, feel free to do it. It doesn’t matter whether you remodel the castle, buy jewelry, or throw a party.”

“…….”

“But I don’t want to see you in the morning, so refrain from doing that.”

The gentleman of her memory was no more.

There was only a cold man standing there who did not have a trace of affection or warmth.

“Your heart is of no use to me.”

But loving him to the end was Julia’s biggest mistake.

****

Standing at the edge of the cliff, Julia slowly carved her husband’s once-worldly face into her eyes.

If not now, she would never be able to escape it forever. She would come to love him again.

She didn’t want to be bound to him any longer.

“Julia!”

Looking at her desperate husband, Julia threw herself down the cliff.

Associated Names
One entry per line
사라져드릴게요, 대공 전하
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
My Husband Will Regret This (1)
The Devil Who Breaks My Neck (1)
I Should Have Just Died (1)
There Were Times When I Wished You Were Dead (1)
Gu Fang Bu Zi Shang (1)
After Being Kidnapped by the Crown Prince (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. My Favorite Korean Romance Novels
  2. grovel at your feet
  3. Hated ML that you grew to love ~ (KR)
  4. Moonlight Translated Novels (Part 4)
  5. Choose me, love me. (Angst)

Latest Release

Date Group Release
07/08/24 Moonlight Novels c43
07/01/24 Moonlight Novels c42
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06/19/24 Moonlight Novels c40
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06/03/24 Moonlight Novels c33
06/02/24 Moonlight Novels c32
05/30/24 Moonlight Novels c31
05/30/24 Moonlight Novels c30
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Review
50 Reviews


Fujoshia chan
New Fujoshia cha
Jun 24, 2024
Status: c6
I decided to try reading this novel because the summary is very interesting. However, my experience with the initial chapters led me to stop reading after chapter 6.

The primary reason for discontinuing the novel was the translation quality. The translation is confusing, with frequent switches in names and titles (e.g. FL's stepmother is marchioness but changed to baroness, Fernan's name changed to Fernando, marquess was called the steward), making it hard to follow who is being referred to.

From what I read, the characters seemed a bit superficial. This might be... more>> due to the translation, which could have affected the depth and nuance of the character portrayals.

I can't provide much insight into the main lead's perspective, as I didn't reach the parts where his point of view is explored. However, his current dislike towards the female lead is understandable. He barely knows her but feels pressured to marry her, which justifies his behavior to an extent.

The novel might appeal to readers who aren't overly sensitive to translation mistakes. If you can overlook some confusion and superficial character portrayals, it might still be worth a try. However, my experience was hindered by the translation issues, leading me to drop it early on. <<less
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maenochka
maenochka
Dec 15, 2021
Status: Completed
The three stars are for my masochism and the fact that despite it all I was invested enough to read this to completion.

People in the comments of practically every chapter dunking on Julia for not cOmUnIcAtInG and """"""being stubborn""""""" must have had the Men In Black mindwipe done on them after the ML started his flaccid redemption, heel-face-turn to loving her.

... more>>
Spoiler

She spent the entire lead up to their separation trying to talk to this jackass only to be rebuffed and talked down to in a threatening manner at every turn. It's no wonder she stopped trying after receiving literally nothing but insults and contempt from him. Watching them get back together was nothing short of torturous, it felt like the author was gaslighting me during the amnesia arc where Julia has to open her heart back up and settle for him. You want to talk about no communication?? HE doesn't communicate with HER. He refuses to even give her a place holder answer for why she can't go back to the life where she was happiest. (The answer being that place is destroyed and she almost died because of her powers having a reaction to the magic/holy power therein) Any answer, even a lie to protect her Fragile Womanly Psyche is better than no answer at all, especially when it is obviously leading to her distrusting and resenting him for keeping her a literal prisoner (from her perspective) and not a convalescing patient. Which was WHAT MADE HER LEAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

[collapse]

Nah nah, sister, I remember everything and these two need to be with anyone but each other, you didn't do the work to make their happily ever after feel deserved.

Julia deserves better than the ML, and the ML simps don't deserve her at all. <<less
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Noveltoread
Noveltoread
Nov 14, 2021
Status: c46
I came for the angst but didnt hit hard enough. More than angsty it was frustrating
Spoiler

We dont know what misery MC went through in childhood. We just know she lived with her mother till 7, was brought to marquis house who ab*sed her and his wife who mocked her. It is told over 46 chapters and we can just estimate this. It shouldn't have been so draggy because it wasnt detailed and just lines like she has been suffering, mocked.

[collapse]

This was a story which portrays how timings could affect relation and emotions. When FL loved the ml, he didnt care and after he began to have feelings for her, she was so disappointed as her only hope outright hated her. The misunderstanding, miscommunication and trust issue between the leads were understandable.
The fl
Spoiler

FL is an illegitimate child from a commoner (a big deal in this timeline) and was constantly mocked and was in misery. Her only light was the ML spending time with her when she was locked at 13 yrs. She clung to this memory and replayed it 1000 times and fall in love with him over the years.

[collapse]

Her downside
Spoiler

She is quite naive and dumb. Just like ML she wasnt doing anything to understand him, what situation he was in. Even after knowing the reason he hated her was due to her father she didnt try to clarify it and constantly confess her love to ML and ML just thought she was acting.

[collapse]

ML
Spoiler

The ML was warlord, nephew of emperor who wanted to crush his power so forced his marriage to his minions daughter. He hated her as he was reminded of her father's face. He couldn't trust her and blatantly ignored and mocked her.

[collapse]

Their situation
Spoiler

FL was ab*sed by her family but they maintain facade of loving and doting to outside world. She was married off so that she can have a child with ML and ML can retire. Both of them knew this as it was planned by emperor and father. But FL didnt mind being used as he loved him. ML constantly distanced and mocked her because he thought she was acting innocent and scheming with her father so he was planning on divorce. Meanwhile ML was in conflict with his emotion budding for his enemy:her. Being treated like this disheartened her and she finally was ready to divorce. After he came to know about FL and her situation, he didnt want to divorce her but didnt told FL the reason he didnt agree on divorce or beg for forgiveness.

[collapse]

I didnt find him so much repulsive.
Spoiler

As his reason were outright there. After he started realize his feelings he started mending amends.
But it was late as FL was so disappointed that she just wanted to leave.
Then comes escaping and the yanderish part. Along with disappearance of fl, the guilt and regrets of ML is shown.

[collapse]
As of this chapter after seeing her happy away from him he just let her be and helped behind the scene.

I cant hate just one of them. Their action reflected how they were and their upbringing and it was understandable. MC was traumatized, ab*sed and didnt voice out her opinions properly. ML has trust issue, been on war zone as commander for 9 yrs which suppressed his emotions.
Spoiler

Everything would have been solved if MC properly conveyed her standing and ML gave enough time to listen and analyze her situation. But no, one wouldnt voice it and keep on adding to misinterpretation and other wouldn't ask for forgiveness after doing a mess

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Smaforte12
Smaforte12
Dec 10, 2021
Status: prologue
I’m giving a couple of stars for the effort the author gave in making such a... narrow-roaded story.
And let me tell you something... it’s quite narrow; to the point that only the ML + FL are on this road, and one of THEM! Is trying to push the other innocent and naive one out, ALL THE WHILE, at the same time, trying to keep HER! close to him at all times...

can you tell me? I’ll extend an olive branch here.
you ever play tug of war? Okay then.

that whole, pulling and pushing friction movement that goes on, let’s focus on that

well, that’s the ML mental stability.
yup, let that sink in for a while.
Almost drove me up the walls!
listen, I don’t care how handsome you are, and how long your legs may be to the point where you can leap the Great Wall of China. But! If you’re this mentally unstable and you try to play me around like some sort of toy entertainment? Then we’re probably going to have some issues, and I’ll potentially smack the sh*t out of you.
the ML is worst then an arrogant child who has never been disciplined in his whole life.

Spoiler

Everybody has a tough background, but you’re the one who makes the choice of being an a**hole.
people will try to console themselves by saying, “ahh~ the ML suffered, so that’s why he did what he did.”

again, everybody suffers, but it’s our choice if we choose to harm those around us. And this c*nt knew the FL was honest, naive and sincere. So the fact that he did ALL THAT, and the while, knowing THIS, made he seem worst to me.
it’s like being understanding to wife beaters, and hiding behind the excuse that they had a tough childhood.
You see where I’m trying to get at? come on people.
the novel already starts with su*cide right off the bat. To drive someone who’s supposed to have a docile persona, to the edge... of a cliff! You got to be the devils cousin or something!
anyways, I wouldn’t watch a movie with a bunch of dogs dying, just to shed bucket load of tears; to the point where I could even grow crops with them. But this novel drive me to be curious about what the outcome would be since the FL does already in the beginning. Was I disappointed? Very much.

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hansora
hansora
Aug 19, 2021
Status: c1
I've just read the prologue and the first chapter but, I already leave a review here as support for the author and the translator (◕‿◕) ♡

Storywise, it's the typical plot about the MC who ran away from the ML. But, I'm so intrigued what made the MC loved the ML so much even before he returned from the war. It turned out, in her bleak childhood where her existence was scorned, he's the only one who showed her kindness although it happened for just a moment. The MC clung to... more>> the memory then her feelings turned into love

I just want the MC to be happy (ノ_<、) It seemed like she suffered so much in her younger years

There's nothing much about the ML yet. I wonder if there's some kind of misunderstanding between him and the MC or even the MC's scum father who pushed her to marry the ML (even though the MC was happy to do that)

As for the translations, the translator has been doing a great job! It's so smooth, showing how much effort and care the translator has been putting into the book

Would definitely add this one to my Reading List ♡ ~ ('▽^人) <<less
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jsplat
jsplat
Feb 01, 2022
Status: c70
70 chapters until I couldnt take it anymore. I briefly went through the spoilers and was unsurprised by the ending.

The tragedy is apparent in this one, however it's not even a good tragedy. Poorly written, veryyy slowpaced, and frustrating misunderstandings that only masochists would enjoy. It doesnt even feel like romance because there is just no spark between the characters. Like, the words on the screen say they love each other, but how exactly? How???? There are words thrown at you saying this and that, but sometimes it feels like... more>> chapter summaries rather than an actual written story, THATS how little sustenance these characters have. So incredibly 2D and flat.

Idk how to describe it... like, the most cliche of cliche's that wasn't even finished properly. A male lead who is a massive as*hole and gets the karma (its some pretty intense angst), and an idiotic FL who is just sOOOO airheaded and a literal doormat who just can't catch a break. They really try to make you feel bad for both of them, but this is one of the most toxic stories I've literally ever read. We all know the best outcome would be them just living separately in the end, but of course that doesn't happen. According to spoiler threads, they do end up together, but given everything they've been through, I literally just cannot imagine anything remotely close to romance between the two of them. Like, it just feels wrong. We've literally never seen them happy, so just trying to picture it feels impossible, especially since the characters are already empty shells of nothingness.

Don't read this story. Just don't. If you reallyyyyyyy are super bored and desperate to binge a completed novel, go ahead and read it, I can't stop you. But don't be surprised when you become bored, upset, and lose all of your brain cells. The angst is so bad and unnecessary to the point that it's embarrassing <<less
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evanesco99211
evanesco9921
Sep 17, 2021
Status: c46
Highly recommended for reading.

... more>>
Spoiler

If you want an FL who is helplessly in love yet knows when enough is enough without being reincarnated or a different soul, if you want an ML redemption done right, if you want an ML who can finally understand that he is not needed and he has no right to blame anyone but himself for his wrongdoings after finally realising his feeling for the FL, then, this is it.

[collapse]

Both Julia and Fernan actually experience character growth in a way that is interesting and makes sense. After reading so many novels with an FL who is so wishy-washy because "love" AND an ML who never learn the right way to respect and love others, this novel heals my heart.

P/S: Not sure if Fernan is the final ML but you get the point. <<less
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lentilha
lentilha
Oct 27, 2021
Status: Completed
IDK, if you like angst and misunderstandings you'll like it. I did.
FL is stubborn but I can understand. She's constantly humiliated by the only good person she have but then gives up and just wants to be left alone. Can related. She's a good cookie.
Spoiler

BUT YALL THE WAY SHE LITERALLY SAID "I want you to go hell" TO HER STEPMOTHER??? Queen shit. I S C R E A M E D

[collapse]

ML is a d**k at first but I liked him at the end. Also can understand him but boy oh boy you can easily read this whole novel as a fu**ing horror novel. Some things are just straight up creepy.
Spoiler

Him locking her up is really beaten path for the yandere league. Now, the part when she loses her memory and he change the whole staff so they can lie to her really freaked me out. Somehow the author doesn't make it seem as creepy as I just did and it took me some time to realize.

[collapse]
Yandere tag well deserved I guess, I would also add "obsessed" for a good measure lol. He deserves it! Worked real hard for it.

Second male is meh
Spoiler

Mr. Priest, wtf? You are a priest don't be flirting you weirdo

[collapse]
but also a good friend.

Some people just disappear?? Like, characters are introduced but when they are done with their part they just cease to exist? Never even mentioned again. Nobody is like "wait, that maid was like my only friend. Where is she?".
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Karumin
Karumin
Nov 22, 2022
Status: c57
I really tried to finish this novel but it almost made me feel physical pain.

ML is straight tr*sh. A psycho obsessive. Even seeing him "suffer" doesn't even feel good because mf simply kept doing the wrong thing and diminished what Julia wanted. I think I'm half way his 'redemption arc' bur fck it, it's so awful. I usually like some yandere plots but this third rate angst just didn't do the trick for me. Few times I have disliked a male lead so much as I did with this one.

Though... more>> I truly wanted to push through since I do like Julia, she's cute and tried really hard in the beginning to communicate with that human bodied tr*sh, she deserved happiness but author decided otherwise, and I really can't continue reading because the Duke makes me want to scream out of frustration and disgust.

If you like angst, yandere, hard miscommunication, obsessive behavior, technically imprisonment, a female lead thoroughly emotionally ab*sed (and sometimes even physically) with a sh!tty male lead, this is your novel. <<less
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Tarotta
Tarotta
Sep 08, 2021
Status: c20
There's nothing but drama, so prepare a lot of tissues.

The ML is a as***le and even just looking at MC annoys him, so she decided to cling to him AT EVERY POSSIBLE CHANCE. Even if she's hurt and can't walk properly, she's still going to chase after him. I have very mixed feelings here cause he's a tr*sh obviously, but I relate to him more. There's not even much plot in between! ML tries to go somewhere while minding his own business, MC chases after him, gets hurt in the... more>> process, we're all sad cause she's so poor and pitiful, repeat. We're starting to see a progress around chapter 20 and I hope to see some character developement, but I'm afraid we're just gonna enter another cycle where ML chases after MC and she makes him regret everything.

I would give much better rate if there was any plot in the background, but there's nothing sadly, everything is only focused on their relationship. I suspect that when he's not around, MC just stares at the wall in her room while wondering when he's going to be back. That's the biggest tragedy imo, not the way he's treating her. <<less
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Tobe
Tobe
Oct 11, 2021
Status: c70
If u like angst n pain, yes def read this.

The POV of the Julia is well written that u can feel her pain, desperation and loss. She’s a sincere innocent MC who is likeable. She’s not smart or cunning at all. But strangely I didn’t dislike her even tho she doesn’t stand up for herself. All I feel for her is pity. I don’t find her character cringe or pathetic, I just feel sad for her. That’s why I said her character is well written.

Fernan (her husband) you will hate.... more>> You will def hate him hahah. But I think his regret arc is one of the most satisfying among this type of genre. He loses his mind (but not Soviesht level from remarried empress) in regret n longing. Which was crazy enjoyable to read, his sufferings is what keeps me reading this hahahahaha. I admit his longing for her did move me during the 60s chapters, I almost felt like hey maybe they should just get back together. But ofcoz till now I hate him coz even up until the 70s chapters he is incredibly selfish. Julia continue to suffer coz of him even tho he wanna make her happy after the regret arc.

in conclusion this is a very easy to read tragic love story. We don’t get bombarded with too much politics and whatnot, it’s 85% about Julia and Fernan. So if u need to cry, read this. <<less
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SormiNN
SormiNN
Sep 11, 2021
Status: c119
I think this is the first time I had felt such an overwhelming urge to start throwing stuff around me or just break something from sheer frustration I got while reading a novel.
This novel solely focuses on the relationship between the ML and fl, and that's what makes it even worse.
There's no plot, everything is centered around how the ML hates the FL whom he didn't want to marry but was forced to.
She loved him even before their marriage, and so she was ecstatic when they got married. Inexplicably she had to go through 5 years of emotional ab*se, neglect and literal torment by his side. Still, it was impressive that she didn't lose her will that quickly. She wanted to work on their relationship, but he just blindly hated her.
Then came some misunderstanding like when
Spoiler

he found an aphrodisiac her father gave her to seduce him and bear a successor.

[collapse]
Ofc the ML wouldn't let her explain, convinced she's just like her malicious father, and so his treatment of hers starts to get even worse, even telling her how they're going to divorce in the near future, how he doesn't want her to show herself before him.
Then comes the next crucial point when the ML
Spoiler

finally decides to investigate some things after the FL had a literal handprint on her face in the castle. Turns out her father slapped her, turns out she is an illegitimate child, turns out she suffered ab*se even before coming to marry him. Well done ML, finally deciding to investigate your forced marriage AFTER 5 YEARS.

[collapse]
The ML's actions are irredeemable, no matter how long and rewarding his redemption arc will be. If they end up together she will have literal PTSD, but hey, some people are getting drawn to things that make them suffer (just like the readers of this novel).
From spoilers, it seems that
Spoiler

she runs away around chapter 35

[collapse]
, so if anyone wishes to read this masochistic piece of a novel, go ahead and suffer along.

1/5 because I don't like what I'm feeling but I'm still probably going to read this. Just like the ML, I'm being inexplicably drawn to something I hate.
Actual engagement I felt to the story would be ~3/5

//edit after reading the ending
Spoiler

It's a happy ending after so much drama and so many trials. The redemption arc was really long and bumpy, but wasn't really the best. One night, when the two were together, after Fernan took Julia captive once again, he said "I can't take it anymore" and the two proceeded to have s*x, with Julia in a literally dead state emotionally. That was really unpleasant to read and it was glossed over by something like "the night of the passion continued" or something along these lines and the act wasn't mentioned anymore. The people commenting under the chapter didn't seem to pay much attention to it, so maybe it's just me being sensitive to consent and all the other formalities/basic courtesy. So yeah, the ML wasn't really sincere, even if Julia in the end thought he was. Only a few chapter away from the ending did the two come to realise they love each other and live happily ever.

[collapse]
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Manhwalover356
Manhwalover3
Nov 07, 2021
Status: Completed
If I can describe the story in one sentece it's I hate it. This is one of those novels with idiot fls that forgives mls for their shity actions. I feel bad for the second ML he deserves better😭 He even wanted to quit being a priest for fl. Even fl's older brother was a better person than ml. After knowing FL ran away from ML he could guess why she ran away and what kind of person she was.

There was a part I absloutly hated in the novel

... more>>
Spoiler

This man had always protected her, but now this man looked unstable and precarious.... Now she wanted to protect him.

[collapse]

Girl he treated you so badly and after you ran away he saved you two times when did he protecet you?😭

I really hated that they got together in the end but the author described their emotins very well. I gave two stars because of authors writing and one star for translating <<less
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PalenMisha
PalenMisha
Sep 13, 2021
Status: c41
I suspect a lot of us that are still reading this have a love-hate relationship with this story. 30+ chapters of misery and angst is a lot to deal with. We get it - everyone treats her like sh*t and her life sucks. I don't think we needed 35 chapters of that just to get back to the prologue (where she runs away). The point could have been made in half the chapters I think.

Plus, is the male lead just socially inept? Or is he a complete d-bag? Sometimes it's... more>> really hard to tell. I think this comment on the page for Chapter 26 sums everything up nicely: YOU SHOULD SAID THAT YOU ARE SORRY s*upid.

Chapter 35 is supposed to be where it loops back to the prologue and I have a feeling that'll be a decision point for a lot of people still reading. I will withhold judgement/rating until then.

Edit: now at chapter 41 (from 31) and I have to say, I'm feeling a bit conflicted.

The male lead is completely miserable at this point - he's neglecting his health and in awful shape while he mindlessly tries to find his missing wife. It appears he's finally realised things likely would have worked out if he had just talked to her (and apologised) a long time ago. Was he a total prick to her before? Yes. Do I want to read another 30 angst filled chapters of him being miserable to the point of neglecting his own health (he walked on broken glass, cut up his foot and didn't even notice FFS) ? No. Also,
Spoiler

the fact that he was very reluctant to leave her so she said she would wait for him and because she never lied to him he took her at face value and then she buggered off the next morning... That right there is adding to my conflicted feelings. Ya he wasn't good to her for most of their marriage, but he knew she wasn't a liar and took her at her word so when she left and he felt betrayed I could kind of understand. Between that and his intense misery over the months she is missing at this point I'm starting to feel bad for him.

[collapse]

Based on a few things that have been going on I suspect they are both going to need to find each other again anyway in order to sort some stuff:

Spoiler

She appears to randomly have bad backlash from using the holy power to escape and he is having flashbacks, etc. It could just be me, but they seem to be tied together which would suggest they will need each other to resolve this on both sides. Maybe related to the fact that he has her pendant?

[collapse]
<<less
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yeahimtara
yeahimtara
Feb 28, 2022
Status: c50
I'm usually not against yandere male leads, and I've seen my fair share of obsessive, possessive, morally grey characters in novels. But there is a certain limit as to how much I can stand, and this ML (Fernan) definitely goes over the line. I understand his inner turmoils, ... more>>
Spoiler

being forced into an arranged marriage with a daughter of the Marquis he despises, yet catching feels here and there. I'm sure it must be hard on him as he's unable to fully reciprocate his feelings without feeling like he's colluding with the enemy or wtv

[collapse]
but that doesn't excuse him for his actions.

He's born as the Grand Duke, and he should have had the proper education of an aristocrat as a child, but the way he acts like a five-year old leads me to believe his education failed him. He refuses to listen to his wife's pleas and lacks the emotional intelligence a grown man should have, but instead goes around giving his wife the silent treatment at every hour for the slightest of things. Things doesn't get better when he realises his feelings because he has the audacity to say stuff like you have to stay with me for the rest of my life and suffer through the pain that I feel (sth. along those lines) when the FL (Julia) rightfully requests a divorce after experiencing a turbulent marriage, caused by no other than himself.

Spoiler

There's a part where he forcefully kisses the FL to the point where she starts tearing up, and that's just one of the many atrocities he's committed.

[collapse]
I absolutely have no idea why people are defending this man for his actions, just because of what? His appearance? Or is it because some people have this warped sense of love in which they think he was "forced" to act like this to his wife? I understand that his experience on the battlefield probably contributed, to some extent, his attitude towards his loved ones, but that doesn't completely lift the blame off his shoulders. He should be held accountable for his actions, and his trauma from being a soldier should be used not just as a reason for his cold, icy demeanour. I truly wished this book went a bit more in depth as to how that trauma affects day-to-day life and not just the stereotypical, "oh! the war has made me broken, therefore I shall treat everyone I meet like tr*sh!"

An additional point is that just because Fernan doesn't h!t the FL, doesn't mean it's not ab*se. No one should be treated like Julia has been, and I have no interest in reading an additional 50 chapters to see how the author redeems this man because he doesn't deserve it. It doesn't matter how hard he tries, the damage has been done. In real life, these sort of people are literally scum and do not deserve anything.

I know there are a handful of readers who scorned Julia for being clingy towards Fernan in the beginning, and to be fair, the author doesn't really do a good job of portraying the reasons for her affections. She gets her hopes up at the slightest bit of kindness shown by the ML and her love for him seems to persevere even through continuous silent treatment and ab*se. I feel like it can be reasoned with her lack of familial love as a child, and so she seeks it through her stone of a husband when she grows up.
Spoiler

It doesn't help when the ML is seen as a "saviour" through Julia's eyes back in the beginning of her marriage, because he had stayed by her side during a ball once as a child.

[collapse]
Yeah, it is pretty frustrating to see misunderstandings pile up and see her continuously get hurt because the ML refuses to properly communicate and Julia is subsequently left to form conclusions by herself.

I apologise for this being a really long review but I had a lot of pent up emotions from reading this, because I just couldn't make sense of why the ML was being shown in such an apologetic, forgiving manner. I would recommend this book if you could look past the questionable elements, especially if you're a fan of the trope "wronged husband chases after wife". The storyline goes exactly like how you would expect it, 2d characters that either love or hate the FL, a second ML who only serves as a plot tool, amnesia, demon attacks... If you're really into that sort of dynamic, you'll enjoy the book. Otherwise, I would not recommend. <<less
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cozypillow
cozypillow
May 24, 2022
Status: Completed
In my honest opinion, although I like cheesy and predictable plots, the start of this novel was pretty amateur-ish. The plot is the type of angsty-regret type of love story

where ML does things wrong and FL suffers and wants to leave making the ML regret his actions and realize his feelings.

The problem with that is that I couldn't really grasp the reason of their love other than admiration and gratefulness (maybe crush too) from FL and regret, pity and some type of attraction from ML. Just that. The time they... more>> spent together was negligible because ML was cold and doubted the FL from the first moment.

Spoiler

FL is the pure, ab*sed and naive type of FL so their whole interaction is ML talking shtty things and embarrassing the FL while she just stays silent and sad about it for the first chapters until she heards rumors of ML having hidden lovers and that wanted to divorce her. ML isn't the type to cheat and wasn't planning to divorce her but just for the sake of making her upset, he threatened her with divorce.

From then she started to plan on leaving him definitely but ML who didn't understand his (sudden) feelings for her, wanted her to stay so basically trapped her in the mansion

[collapse]

Then the whole thing of the world building. It was incomplete. Not much description nor explanation. There are demons, priests and holy power. There was a conflict that started but never explained the reason the demons attacked. The holy power isn't really explained but that's like a minor details that bugged me.

Now the real problem that irked me the most.
Spoiler

There were several characters that appeared but never mentioned again at the end. It bothers me because they are people that helped the FL and she cared for them but suddenly forgets about them and never mentions them until someone does it first. The whole plot worked because these people were present in FL life and were a big help or important to her, but they were just plot points for the story at the end. But at the end the only people we see come back is her first maid Melissa and the priest Matheus who helped her escape.

    • Her biological mother who she looked for when she was tricked because she thought she was in her diebed, was never mentioned again after the incident nor she mentioned her will to look for her after.
    • The family of the lord that she was friends with when she escaped weren't mentioned again and implied tht they died because of demons but there was no actual mention of them.
    • Her half-brother who helped her when she was kidnapped was only mentioned briefly and no more.
    • Her second maid Judy never mentioned again.
    • The old lady and the children of the orphanage never met after she left to find the ML.
    • The 2nd ML who actually spent more time with her than the ML, left and she promised to write letters but then never did and only like months after did she knew he was traveling because Matheus told her.
      [collapse]
This whole point above makes it feel really inconclusive.

The reason I read this at the end was because although I felt this was a really toxic relationship, both FL and ML seem to find real happiness with each other and I wanted to read the cheesy happy ending I love.

The idea for a sad FL and a ML that regrets his actions is something I look for but the execution was pretty poor.

Did I enjoy reading it? Half of it. Some parts were enjoyable, some were poorly written.

2.5 stars. <<less
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Cactiii
Cactiii
Apr 27, 2022
Status: c40
I really cannot understand why this story has so many 5 star ratings... While it isn't unreadable and has somewhat of a coherent plot I'm not giving it one star but this is by no means a good story, it feels like the author wanted to do a tragedy and the characters themselves are pretty well developed but its just simply hell to read... Every single chapter is just tragedy tragedy tragedy where I can't understand why anyone wound want to read this unless their depressed and want to relate... more>> to a character that suffered and got out of it or if they like reading about people suffering... Light novels are suppose to serve as entertainment or wish fulfillment, where you can enjoy escaping from our miserable existence's and watch a character who has fulfillment in their life. While this doesn't apply in every case this is mostly true, readers as a general rule prefer either what we believe is an idea type of character or someone similar to ourselves or even simply a character that does what we wish to do. In this book there is just absolutely none of what makes a book enjoyable, with romance generally its some form of finding happiness or love that people like, with tragedy its watching the main character struggle through and come to a better future which is something that readers might want to believe about their current situation (even if its minor in comparison to the story itself) yet with this story there's no happiness, no bright future, just chapter after chapter of the female lead suffering and breaking and then the male lead following the same route. Without having a personality that gets joy from suffering or being depressed and wanting to read about how someone else who is extremely depressed eventually found happiness I really cannot imagine why people might like this type of story, getting emotional about the characters will just lead to the reader suffering since that's all this book is. (As a side note if you are reading this because your depressed and want to read about someone eventually finding happiness its better to read those super fluffy sugary romance books, while it might feel detached at first human emotions are a product of our environment so after reading one or two of these types of books it should help put you in a happier mood. Something like watching comedians or other things that make you smile also help more, looking up other people being depressed or how to get out of depression makes you focus on it more and generally end up making the problem worse)

This part is more something I'm writing since it pisses me off how many people are tr*shing on the male lead simply because of how perspective is written in this story. I'm also going to add this line before too many people get trigged, I'm not saying he isn't at fault or a horrible husband, I'm just saying his actions make sense with how his character was developed. So to start he entered this marriage because he was forced to by the king and has also been exposed to female leads father who he dislikes making it so he already has a negative impression of her. At this point in the story he believes she is there just to take advantage of his status, then you mix that in with how he had a report of her accepting an illegal drug from her father to secretly drug him in order to have a child. While we as the readers might know that she has no intention to drug him from his perspective she received this drug then proceeded to hide it in her room without telling anyone. While she was ab*sed it is completely her fault how she accepted the drug and then hid it, in these circumstances of course the MC would have even more hatred for her. As another side note he never believed he was being mean to her at the beginning, he believed she married for status and he told her to do whatever she wanted as long as she didn't bother him. While we as the readers take this is in a negative life since we know the female lead just wants to have a happy family from his perspective on who he married this choice is already rather generous since he is basically giving exactly what he believes she wants. I would also like to add her attempts to declare her love for him would also be distrusted (especially after the drug incident) because he would believe that she just wants to have a child to secure her position. Then it takes a while for our male lead to figure out his emotions but once he does he actually tries to display them despite how badly he does it, the issue is at this point the female lead was already so depressed. In her state of depression it would take someone with good communication skills to show how much they love her to help get her out of her funk, our male lead who she already believes hates her with his horrific communication skills was basically doomed to fail from the start. While I'm not saying the male lead didn't do horrible things and make bad choices he is by no means as much as a piece of sh*t as a lot of comments in the chapters were saying, everything his character does makes sense. <<less
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ljin75651
ljin75651
Dec 03, 2021
Status: c108
It wasn't bad, but I had a hard time forcing myself to keep reading. When I reached c75, I just gave up and read the last 2 chapters for the ending. Usually these sort of novel scenarios (MC runs away from bad relationship, ex-partner regrets) have to be really well-written to keep me invested the entire time. This one in particular had so many misunderstandings and emotional back-and-forths that I felt like it was dragging on longer than it should have. I doubt I'll ever re-read this.
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Poshghost
Poshghost
Nov 10, 2021
Status: Completed
After completing the novel I'm going to give it 3 stars due to coming out of this story having mixed feelings.
The translation was well done (my only gripe was some pronoun switching but I see that often in tnl novels) and I think the story itself was written well. It did not need to be 109 chapters tho as many of the conflicts kind of just repeat themselves with new things thrown in for flavor.
I don't think the either the MC or ML grow or change really or maybe not in a satisfying way and it felt like there were no real consequences on either side.
Spoiler

honestly when the amnesia section happened I thought I was going to rip my hair out because I was like "This DB is going to get all he ever wanted with no consequences wtf"

[collapse]
I really wanted to punch the ML through most of this story. The end just kind of felt like a toxic relationship that ends up happy because of Stockholm syndrome.
THAT BEING SAID, I'm still a sucker for happy endings. So while this story was frustrating and made me angry quite a bit I didn't hate it but I understand why I see a lot of reviews of people dropping it.
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Tina Wei
Tina Wei
Sep 08, 2021
Status: c20
Well, I found this novel as one of the top recommended novels on Joara with 32 episodes and totally interested in it -even I read it with awful mtl. 😢NOW, I got to read this novel back with brilliant translation from my favourite translation site. Can't express how I overjoyed for it... haha. Thank you so much translator-nim ~💖

As a reader who loves to read the regert ML theme, I love to cry together with all the FL's hardships, wanting to escape from this hellish place and then to read... more>> my favourite part of ML's sufferings. Every part of the novel is suffocating and it may be uncomfortable for ppl who just want to read light-heartedly Or overly rational and sensitive with the plot. Don't read if you are not into this theme. Easy~ ☺️ But for someone like me, this novel is worth crying for. The author has already said that the ML is a tr*sh but we like recycling and will make him *roll down from the mountain* (idiom I think). <<less
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Kiya30
Kiya30
Aug 31, 2021
Status: --
I will not vote yet since there is not enough chapters. Here the story so far the MC has a horrible family and they were abusive to her. The ML was nice to her one time and now she loves him. The ML hates the family since there always plotting with the Empire against him and he thinks she is also part of it. He is forced to marry her and treats her like tr*sh. She of course is blind by the one time he was nice to her and... more>> holds on to that. So far it's just the same old misunderstanding because people don't sit down and talk because they can't control there emotions. I will keep on reading this since I want to get to see what happens after she jumps off the cliff. Since there is so no tragedy tag I will guess that she ends up fine. <<less
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