Your Majesty Please Calm Down

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As a eunuch, Tian Qi’s ba zi* was harder than diamond-plated gold drill. Although her ba zi easily brought an end to three consecutive masters, the Emperor was not afraid to be the next casualty and got her to serve at Qian Qing Palace.

But although His Majesty looked like a handsome gentleman, his behavior was more like a hooligan. Once, the Emperor even touched Tian Qi’s lower abdomen and started to wonder at the amazing flatness of the area…

*八字 a Feng Shui term that refers to one’s date and time of birth, or the destiny that one is born with

Associated Names
One entry per line
Dr. Cutie
陛下请淡定
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
The Eunuch is Pregnant (3)
Your Highness, I Know My Wrongs (2)
Pampered Into Being The Empress (2)
Favored Intelligent Concubine (1)
The Fierce Illegitimate Miss (1)
Wife, You Can’t Run After Eating (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Ancient Romancia
  2. Finished Reading Novels 2
  3. Chinese comics
  4. List Romance Novel Mostly Completed
  5. GAY OR STRAIGHT LOVE IS GREAT (part 2)

Latest Release

Date Group Release
06/02/21 Foxaholic c107
06/02/21 Foxaholic c106
06/02/21 Foxaholic c105
06/02/21 Foxaholic c104 part2
06/02/21 Foxaholic c104 part1
06/02/21 Foxaholic c103
06/02/21 Foxaholic c102
06/02/21 Foxaholic c101
03/02/21 Foxaholic c100
03/02/21 Foxaholic c99
03/02/21 Foxaholic c98
03/02/21 Foxaholic c97
03/02/21 Foxaholic c96
03/02/21 Foxaholic c95
01/04/21 Foxaholic c94
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Review
23 Reviews


Brasdf
New Brasdf
Jul 21, 2021
Status: c40
A cute and funny story in the first 2o chapters. Then the translation quality drops significantly. It just isn’t worth it.
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bluesonnet
New bluesonnet
Jul 19, 2021
Status: Completed
A really enjoyable read. Binged it for a day and a half. Worth it. It was funny where it was supposed to be funny, and the romance was nice. The ML seemed quite out of character at the end, but he's a guy blinded by love so we can forgive that. This is a novel that doesn't take itself too seriously (even the harem intrigues aren't too convoluted). The things that would be a big deal in other novels would be glossed over in this one, and that's perfectly fine.... more>> Just read it as a funny smutty romantic novel coincidentally set in ancient times. You won't be disappointed. <<less
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valerierose
valerierose
Mar 07, 2017
Status: c63
This is one of the funniest stories I have ever read. The MC is a girl masquerading as an eunuch and after a series of events, ends up serving the Emperor. She's witty and charming but also naive. In the end, she ends up capturing the attention of the ML, the emperor.
Spoiler

MC uses her wits to get out of sticky situations. Two of her favorite tricks is to pretend to be sick (her eunuch friend is from a medical background) and to tell the emperor that she likes him. Of course that backfires on her in the end!

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The emperor isn't your typical ML. Sure, it's clear that he's smart, capable, and by all accounts, ruthless (unless it comes down to the MC of course) but he's also quirky and as the MC likes to think, prone to bouts of craziness because his mood fluctuates so often whenever he's around the MC. His struggle dealing with his 'homosexuality' is absolutely hilarious. There are times the book does end up making you blush, if you know what I mean.

Spoiler

The emperor starts getting wet dreams about the MC and there are instances of m*sturbation. Even during those instances, you can't help laugh because of how the scenes were written. It's hilarious that his endearment for the MC is "little pervert" while the MC thinks of him as a "big pervert".

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The supporting characters are also very endearing. The MC's friends and the second lead are always supportive and there's even a turtle involved! The MC has many adventures with her group of friends and the ML's son so that even without the ML, the story is still interesting and a page turner.

Everything moves quickly and conflicts are resolved quickly. Overall it's a very easy, light read that I highly, highly recommend.
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Nom de Plume
Nom de Plume
May 23, 2016
Status: c3
I recommend that potential readers check out the first few chapters of To Be a Virtuous Wife before reading this. These two stories share the same vocabulary that is unique to the Imperial Palace. I recommend another story because that translation provides really good footnotes and explainations. Even if you are already familiar with terms such as nucai and know the titles for the different concubines, I still recommend it in order to give this translation time to go beyond three chapters.

The story:
Tian Qi is a servant in the... more>> imperial palace. It is hard to tell at this point, but I think Tang Qi is also a woman disguising as a man so that she can have the better paying and trusted position as a eunuch. Every master she has served has treated her well (?) only to die a tragic death. Her latest master has died in childbirth leading to some unexpected encounters with the Emporer himself. As a story it seems pretty solid with potential for mystery, intrigue, and forbidden romance.

The quality:
The translator seems to be translating as an exercise to improve their English, mainly relying on a machine translator and dictionary. The sentences are a little choppy as a result. Unfortunately, the story is placed in the imperial palace which means that there are a large amount of phrases and titles that do not translate into english well. Either of these are not a real problem but together it makes it very difficult to understand what is going on. There is significant improvement from chapter one to chapter three, so I'm definately not giving up on the translator yet. :) The one star reviews are probably because of this issue. <<less
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kkgoh
kkgoh
Nov 26, 2018
Status: c50
Fairly entertaining read. The female protagonist is a genuinely interesting character, a rare combination of being witty and street smart rather than a damsel-in-distress or OP-assassin/doctor as with most josei-type Chinese novels. Came across this novel while looking up a popular 2017 Chinese drama 那年花开月正圆 ("Nothing Gold Can Stay"), quite similar female leads.

Quick summary: Female protagonist (Tian Qi) hides as an eunuch for unknown reasons in the Imperial Palace, catches the fancy of the emperor through her wits (and beauty), and a fairly typical romance ensues (reference the Chinese legend "Butterfly Lovers"). It's the light comedic writing style that carries the novel.

But dropped it midway in the Chinese raws.

As some reviewers have pointed out, it's a thinly disguised yaoi novel (updated genre tags to reflect it), starting around chapter 20... more>> onwards. Author acknowledges in post-comments that male lead goes from straight-gay-straight. It's pretty obvious that author is a fujoshi. Author has written several other novels with some success in China.

Parts of the novel involve (non-plot-critical) :

- Several male characters who question their sexuality after being attracted to the female protagonist. They repeatedly deny being gay, but proceed to sexually assault the female protagonist while she is unaware (kissing and groping her while she is unconscious or too naive to realize what's happening), then hypocritically stop themselves and claim that they shouldn't proceed any further, otherwise they would be taking advantage of her (they still think she is male). Those are exact translations, I'm not making it up.
- Male leads are all exceedingly beautiful (not handsome, just beautiful) and referenced as potential gigolos/gay
- Beautiful male child is cross-dressed, just because.
- Repeated discussions throughout the novel about how BL/LGBT is starting to become acceptable in society.

Not knocking on the yaoi genre, whatever floats your boat. But let's call a spade a spade. <<less
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willwiz
willwiz
Oct 14, 2016
Status: Completed
Highly highly recommended. For a lighthearted romance novel, this story is basically perfect.

Spoiler

The only thing that can be considered a drawback is probably the author's fetish for making the male lead question his sexuality and aided m*sturbation. Hey at least its pretty damn funny.

Tian Qi is a stunning looking girl who's disguising as an enunch in the royal palace. The original reason and her identity is slowly revealed during the story. However, due to her greed and another hidden reason, she missed her opportunity to leave and was stuck serving the emperor even though her two previous masters died.

The story explores her relationship developed with the people she meet, problems arising from her current identity and her beauty, and a variety of hilarious situations she fell into, while solving the mystery about her past.

Although, there are some tragic and tense situations, the story has a happy and generally lighthearted tone. It does not attempt to envoke any overly emotional response and is not very dramatic. The various situations she faces are generally solved quickly and logically.


The story has a very nice pace and is very well written. It is a pretty fun and casual read throughout.

This story is followed in sequel by "Tiao Xiao Ling" which is also pretty good. No translation though.

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faye_chan
faye_chan
May 24, 2016
Status: --
The story is very light hearted and funny. The English translation isn't bad, the grammar is a bit off. I read this as a Vietnamese translation, the Viet title is "Be ha xin tu trong". The translation is complete and the grammar is pretty good.
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DeanRae
DeanRae
May 14, 2016
Status: --
WHY IS THE VOTE COUNT SO LOW???!!! The grammar might be bad but at least it's still readable, at least more readable than similar stories with bad grammar, that still get heaps of good votes. Anyways, if you can get past the grammar the story is actually very interesting
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Hikazuki
Hikazuki
May 24, 2018
Status: c104
At the beginning it’s funny. The comedy is pure gold.

The MC is quite intelligent.

The ML is sufferring funnily.

Spoiler

At the middle to the end part is where the story kicks in and get a bit serious. We will see who the real enemy is, who did this, who did that.

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There is a smut later on.

Spoiler

They got married and lived happily ever after in the end.

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fan63
fan63
Jun 19, 2017
Status: c6
This novel is one that presents a look at the complexities of living as a servant in the palace. It not just a matter of whether you can effectively service your royals. But also how you can avoid the intrigue and back biting issues of the royals and their subordinates and retain your life. Especially if you are a cross dressing eunuch. Read this novel and take a ride that will have you giggling, crossing your brows and worrying if the main character will make it through the day safely.
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KichiX
KichiX
Mar 09, 2021
Status: c76 part2
Honestly it was fine and everything, even pretty great with the humour, but then the ML asks the FL to perform sexual services for him and it's just... icky. The FL is super naïve and doesn't understand what's happening so it reads as sexual assault on someone too uninformed to understand (i.e. a child, because that's honestly the level of the FL's mental reasoning regarding such matters). Disgusting. Completely put me off continuing and I don't think anything could rescue the ML's character after that. Oh, and it's even worse... more>> when you consider the power dynamic involved. <<less
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Renjiko
Renjiko
Nov 11, 2020
Status: c30
No matter how good a story is, if translation sucks you'll eventually drop it.

This one was translated by different groups on this site. Thumbs up for those who did it right but other group made me drop this novel. I had headache reading them. Translation sucks. I've been to some messy translated novels but this is the first time I gave up

Sorry but my patience over translations got exhausted. I wanna give chance to the story and put up high rate if plot is okay but I havent even... more>> finish it. <<less
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Dultse
Dultse
Mar 07, 2019
Status: c23
Funny story, with characters who misunderstand each other left right and centre.

I picked up the translation on my blog but I`m not aware how to edit the chapters info. Sorry.
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Leenleen
Leenleen
Jun 22, 2021
Status: Completed
Storyline is alright but translation went a bit haywire after c.20 with c.85 missing. Would need to refer mtl version to guess what happened.

Spoiler

I actually don't mind reading if there's a part 2/extra where the long lost sister and brother finally have a reunion.

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Zanders
Zanders
May 23, 2020
Status: Completed
The story is very enjoyable and although it has a genderbender tag it's really good. I read the raws for this story probably a year or 2 ago because I was so entranced by the chapters out at the time. The interaction between the ML and MC is good with lots of comedy/misunderstandings and eventual feelings *cough*. Also seeing the ML question themselves was fun. I also enjoyed how it isn't like 1000 chapters long and would suggest reading it. C:
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kanjipills
kanjipills
Nov 17, 2018
Status: c20
Had to drop the story. It was fun and quirky but I got bored throughout the chapters. Still a 5* though since I enjoyed it while it lasted.
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Cherry_sakiera
Cherry_sakie
Aug 28, 2018
Status: c20
This story funny and really heart-warming! Really recommend it!

Usually, there is scheme which is cruel in the royal palace. But this novel is really into scheming but its really funny rofl

Cant wait till the next chapter?
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shouahang58
shouahang58
Mar 03, 2018
Status: c19
Really good gender-blender novel!! I love the MC's interaction with ML's kid, too cute!! This novel is also funny cause the MC is awesome with her thought process!!
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ricachuu
ricachuu
Mar 28, 2021
Status: Completed
This novel was quite good in setting up palace drama without making everyone look evil and scheming. A lot of the background characters were good people that the main leads could trust.

The FL is a woman pretending to be a eunuch ... more>>
Spoiler

because she wanted to get revenge for her family's death but the culprit already died so she wanted to clear her family's name.

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She is kind to people who deserves kindness and ignores and disdains those who are evil. She also started off as a very innocent and pure bunny who didn't know anything about men and women affairs but because of the ML emperor, she gradually became more daring of those things *///*

The ML is the emperor and of course he did have a harem and he already has one son, which is a cute bun named Ruyi born from his deceased empress. Since the ML was no longer pure and already had a wife (though dead) and a son, I was a bit worried that I wouldn't end up liking him for the FL, but my worries were unwarranted. His feelings for the FL was not love at first sight. He just thought that the eunuch was loyal to his deceased master and he would often be amused and annoyed at the eunuch FL. It did comfort me a little that when he started having feelings for the FL, he didn't do yingying yanyan with other women. It was also adorable how he beat himself up in confusion when he refused to admit his feelings for FL since he didn't want to admit he was broken sleeves (gay)
Spoiler

his reaction to finding that the FL was a woman was so funny lol he was so happy he jumped around the rooftops around the capital like a madman lol

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Once he did recognize his feelings, he was like a beast let out of his cage and directly expressed his love for the FL. I also liked how he really never forced her to do anything since he wanted her heart the most. He was so considerate to her it makes me soft uwu

Now, I'd like to talk about the second male lead. I usually would have second male lead syndrome in most stories but in this novel, he annoyed me to death.
Spoiler

His name is Ji Zheng, the half-brother of the ML. Like usual second male leads, he was a gentle older brother type of guy. However, he was persistent in his love for the FL even when he was already rejected several times. He kissed her while she was drunk and even kidnapped her to 'get her out of the palace'. He kept on deluding himself that the ML forced the FL to be with him, and thought that he would make sure that even if he wasn't the FL's first man, he would be her last. Even though he was rejected outright by the FL, he still tried to frame the ML, hoping that the FL would hate the ML and turn to him lol. Anyway, his love was quite selfish and forceful and I only felt better about him when he finally gave up after FL resolutely told him she wouldn't like him even if she met him first.

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Overall, it's pretty good~ It's not to overly dramatic on palace drama and politics since everything gets resolved fast (ML is a protective hubby and won't let FL suffer grievances). Also, the smut scenes were quite good but weren't excessive.
Spoiler

I just do hope FL met her lost younger brother in the end :< tho he was shown in the fanwai it wasn't stated that they met

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<<less
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August Moelski
August Moels
Dec 11, 2017
Status: c13
Dont trust the summary/ introduction above. It is really bad anyways. This is actually an amazingly well written plot (I appreciate thought being put into character motivation and conflict. Makes it better)
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Lapu
Lapu
Jun 29, 2021
Status: c50
It's okay as a comedy but the FL's naivety really puts me off. Not mentioning all those dumb mistakes she can make despite having worked in the palace for years, let's just imagine: you get harassed, have your face and neck touched for example, but because that person says "No this is normal, it's not weird" etc so you be like "Oh ok" and let it slide. That's how she is. The author keeps giving excuses like she's thinking abt something else, she's not educated abt these stuffs... which doesn't... more>> convince me at all, so I did myself a favor and dropped it. <<less
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Fujaiya Sumyoshi
Fujaiya Sumy
Jun 22, 2021
Status: Completed
A roller coaster ride! I bing read this novel and I must say the whole novel was well planned and executed.

Each of the characters had development, which is a must noteworthy point. No character is black and white, they're as human as possible. The emperor isn't a pure ML, nor is the MC super OP on grace and elegance. They play out their roles exactly how they should. The struggle of the emperor with his sexuality is real, the empress dowager's reluctance to accept a woman who was known as... more>> a man and was her son's lover- that was real too. Ruyi was perfect for his age, a few novels have children who are 2 but talks like 7. Ruyi was thankfully not like that.

Wang Meng and Ding also left their marks in my mind for their caring nature towards MC.

The only place I stopped short of dissatisfaction is the latest extra, I wish the siblings had net each other. But then again, a meeting like that would be too coincidental. This is good. <<less
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