Your Majesty Please Calm Down

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As a eunuch, Tian Qi’s ba zi* was harder than diamond-plated gold drill. Although her ba zi easily brought an end to three consecutive masters, the Emperor was not afraid to be the next casualty and got her to serve at Qian Qing Palace.

But although His Majesty looked like a handsome gentleman, his behavior was more like a hooligan. Once, the Emperor even touched Tian Qi’s lower abdomen and started to wonder at the amazing flatness of the area…

*八字 a Feng Shui term that refers to one’s date and time of birth, or the destiny that one is born with

Associated Names
One entry per line
Bi Xia Qing Bao Zhong
Dr. Cutie
Meng Yi Tian Qi
Your Majesty, Please Restrain Yourself (manhua)
陛下请淡定
陛下请自重 (manhua)
Related Series
Fix Smile Order (Shared Universe)
Recommendations
The Eunuch is Pregnant (3)
Your Highness, I Know My Wrongs (2)
Pampered Into Being The Empress (2)
A Precious Pearl in the Imperial City (1)
It’s Better to be the Empress Dowager (1)
The Emperor Has An Illness (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Forbidden Love in Ancient China (BG)
  2. A Little Love, A Little Lust
  3. Smutt 2~~
  4. Completed but kinda meh...?#2
  5. Venus & Mars (R18)

Latest Release

Date Group Release
06/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c107
06/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c106
06/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c105
06/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c104 part2
06/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c104 part1
06/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c103
06/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c102
06/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c101
03/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c100
03/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c99
03/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c98
03/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c97
03/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c96
03/02/21 Foxaholic 18 c95
01/04/21 Foxaholic 18 c94
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36 Reviews sorted by


valerierose
valerierose rated it
March 7, 2017
Status: c63
This is one of the funniest stories I have ever read. The MC is a girl masquerading as an eunuch and after a series of events, ends up serving the Emperor. She's witty and charming but also naive. In the end, she ends up capturing the attention of the ML, the emperor.
Spoiler

MC uses her wits to get out of sticky situations. Two of her favorite tricks is to pretend to be sick (her eunuch friend is from a medical background) and to tell the emperor that she likes him. Of course that backfires on her in the end!

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The emperor isn't your typical ML. Sure, it's clear that he's smart, capable, and by all accounts, ruthless (unless it comes down to the MC of course) but he's also quirky and as the MC likes to think, prone to bouts of craziness because his mood fluctuates so often whenever he's around the MC. His struggle dealing with his 'homosexuality' is absolutely hilarious. There are times the book does end up making you blush, if you know what I mean.

Spoiler

The emperor starts getting wet dreams about the MC and there are instances of m*sturbation. Even during those instances, you can't help laugh because of how the scenes were written. It's hilarious that his endearment for the MC is "little pe*vert" while the MC thinks of him as a "big pe*vert".

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The supporting characters are also very endearing. The MC's friends and the second lead are always supportive and there's even a turtle involved! The MC has many adventures with her group of friends and the ML's son so that even without the ML, the story is still interesting and a page turner.

Everything moves quickly and conflicts are resolved quickly. Overall it's a very easy, light read that I highly, highly recommend.
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kkgoh
kkgoh rated it
November 26, 2018
Status: c50
Fairly entertaining read. The female protagonist is a genuinely interesting character, a rare combination of being witty and street smart rather than a damsel-in-distress or OP-assassin/doctor as with most josei-type Chinese novels. Came across this novel while looking up a popular 2017 Chinese drama 那年花开月正圆 ("Nothing Gold Can Stay"), quite similar female leads.

Quick summary: Female protagonist (Tian Qi) hides as an eunuch for unknown reasons in the Imperial Palace, catches the fancy of the emperor through her wits (and beauty), and a fairly typical romance ensues (reference the Chinese legend "Butterfly Lovers"). It's the light comedic writing style that carries the novel.

But dropped it midway in the Chinese raws.

As some reviewers have pointed out, it's a thinly disguised yaoi novel (updated genre tags to reflect it), starting around chapter 20... more>> onwards. Author acknowledges in post-comments that male lead goes from straight-gay-straight. It's pretty obvious that author is a fujoshi. Author has written several other novels with some success in China.

Parts of the novel involve (non-plot-critical) :

- Several male characters who question their sexuality after being attracted to the female protagonist. They repeatedly deny being gay, but proceed to sexually assault the female protagonist while she is unaware (kissing and groping her while she is unconscious or too naive to realize what's happening), then hypocritically stop themselves and claim that they shouldn't proceed any further, otherwise they would be taking advantage of her (they still think she is male). Those are exact translations, I'm not making it up.
- Male leads are all exceedingly beautiful (not handsome, just beautiful) and referenced as potential gigolos/gay
- Beautiful male child is cross-dressed, just because.
- Repeated discussions throughout the novel about how BL/LGBT is starting to become acceptable in society.

Not knocking on the yaoi genre, whatever floats your boat. But let's call a spade a spade. <<less
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Nom de Plume
Nom de Plume rated it
May 23, 2016
Status: c3
I recommend that potential readers check out the first few chapters of To Be a Virtuous Wife before reading this. These two stories share the same vocabulary that is unique to the Imperial Palace. I recommend another story because that translation provides really good footnotes and explainations. Even if you are already familiar with terms such as nucai and know the titles for the different concubines, I still recommend it in order to give this translation time to go beyond three chapters.

The story:
Tian Qi is a servant in the... more>> imperial palace. It is hard to tell at this point, but I think Tang Qi is also a woman disguising as a man so that she can have the better paying and trusted position as a eunuch. Every master she has served has treated her well (?) only to die a tragic death. Her latest master has died in childbirth leading to some unexpected encounters with the Emporer himself. As a story it seems pretty solid with potential for mystery, intrigue, and forbidden romance.

The quality:
The translator seems to be translating as an exercise to improve their English, mainly relying on a machine translator and dictionary. The sentences are a little choppy as a result. Unfortunately, the story is placed in the imperial palace which means that there are a large amount of phrases and titles that do not translate into english well. Either of these are not a real problem but together it makes it very difficult to understand what is going on. There is significant improvement from chapter one to chapter three, so I'm definately not giving up on the translator yet. :) The one star reviews are probably because of this issue. <<less
30 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
willwiz
willwiz rated it
October 14, 2016
Status: Completed
Highly highly recommended. For a lighthearted romance novel, this story is basically perfect.

Spoiler

The only thing that can be considered a drawback is probably the author's fetish for making the male lead question his sexuality and aided m*sturbation. Hey at least its pretty damn funny.

Tian Qi is a stunning looking girl who's disguising as an enunch in the royal palace. The original reason and her identity is slowly revealed during the story. However, due to her greed and another hidden reason, she missed her opportunity to leave and was stuck serving the emperor even though her two previous masters died.

The story explores her relationship developed with the people she meet, problems arising from her current identity and her beauty, and a variety of hilarious situations she fell into, while solving the mystery about her past.

Although, there are some tragic and tense situations, the story has a happy and generally lighthearted tone. It does not attempt to envoke any overly emotional response and is not very dramatic. The various situations she faces are generally solved quickly and logically.


The story has a very nice pace and is very well written. It is a pretty fun and casual read throughout.

This story is followed in sequel by "Tiao Xiao Ling" which is also pretty good. No translation though.

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17 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Renjiko
Renjiko rated it
November 11, 2020
Status: c30
No matter how good a story is, if translation sucks you'll eventually drop it.

This one was translated by different groups on this site. Thumbs up for those who did it right but other group made me drop this novel. I had headache reading them. Translation sucks. I've been to some messy translated novels but this is the first time I gave up

Sorry but my patience over translations got exhausted. I wanna give chance to the story and put up high rate if plot is okay but I havent even... more>> finish it. <<less
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KichiX
KichiX
March 9, 2021
Status: c76 part2
Honestly it was fine and everything, even pretty great with the humour, but then the ML asks the FL to perform s*xual services for him and it's just... icky. The FL is super naïve and doesn't understand what's happening so it reads as s*xual assault on someone too uninformed to understand (i.e. a child, because that's honestly the level of the FL's mental reasoning regarding such matters). Disgusting. Completely put me off continuing and I don't think anything could rescue the ML's character after that. Oh, and it's even worse... more>> when you consider the power dynamic involved. <<less
9 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
faye_chan
faye_chan rated it
May 24, 2016
Status: --
The story is very light hearted and funny. The English translation isn't bad, the grammar is a bit off. I read this as a Vietnamese translation, the Viet title is "Be ha xin tu trong". The translation is complete and the grammar is pretty good.
7 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
DeanRae
DeanRae rated it
May 14, 2016
Status: --
WHY IS THE VOTE COUNT SO LOW???!!! The grammar might be bad but at least it's still readable, at least more readable than similar stories with bad grammar, that still get heaps of good votes. Anyways, if you can get past the grammar the story is actually very interesting
7 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Ndrearubio
Ndrearubio rated it
November 23, 2023
Status: c85
I don’t understand how could the FL fall in love with the ml, it doesn’t make sense. The ML is tr*sh, I’m quoting another review I agreed with from Chande: “he forced MC to give him a bl*wj*b almost every night. After he knew that she was a girl, he bedded her almost instantly.” Not only that but she repeatedly thought that she didn’t want it and even tried to push him but was forced to bear it because of the ML status (if you are interested in the smut,... more>> it’s not worth it, it’s actually terribly lacking, there’s no chemistry, he even goes in without foreplay most times and she magically likes). Not only that, he gets worse...

Spoiler

The ML wants her to have a child and when he learns that she doesn’t want it, he tries to force her, thinks it’s “boring” so he stops and threatens the FL saying he has a harem full of beauties dedicated to him, has the audacity to even make her choose the concubine he’ll sleep with and then is ready to go until the FL stops him crying. Is he going to threaten the FL with the fact that he can sleep around every time he’s angry? He claims he loves her, but he just wants her to join the harem and doesn’t even protect her from others, he’s a useless h**ny ml. Not to mention he already has a child and surprise! 2 more women pregnant!

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Objectively speaking, their love feels forced, the author wanted to make them fall in love so they did. Plot wise, there’s no plot, maybe an attempt to it but it’s full of plot holes and unsatisfactory. Smut sucks, descriptions are bad and the act in itself feel’s lacking (at least for the fl, the ML sure can have fun just sticking it in and using her). Anyway, I’m disappointed and angry. <<less
6 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Brasdf
Brasdf rated it
July 21, 2021
Status: c40
A cute and funny story in the first 20 chapters. Then the translation quality drops significantly. It just isn't worth it.
5 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Hikazuki
Hikazuki
May 24, 2018
Status: c104
At the beginning it’s funny. The comedy is pure gold.

The MC is quite intelligent.

The ML is sufferring funnily.

Spoiler

At the middle to the end part is where the story kicks in and get a bit serious. We will see who the real enemy is, who did this, who did that.

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There is a smut later on.

Spoiler

They got married and lived happily ever after in the end.

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5 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
fan63
fan63 rated it
June 19, 2017
Status: c6
This novel is one that presents a look at the complexities of living as a servant in the palace. It not just a matter of whether you can effectively service your royals. But also how you can avoid the intrigue and back biting issues of the royals and their subordinates and retain your life. Especially if you are a cross dressing eunuch. Read this novel and take a ride that will have you giggling, crossing your brows and worrying if the main character will make it through the day safely.
5 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Dultse
Dultse rated it
March 7, 2019
Status: c23
Funny story, with characters who misunderstand each other left right and centre.

I picked up the translation on my blog but I`m not aware how to edit the chapters info. Sorry.
4 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
frostcrystal
frostcrystal rated it
January 23, 2022
Status: c74 part2
It's entertaining and very funny, but... well... a bit problematic. Shall we say that the ML is a bit too oppressive, bordering on scummy? The ending and epilogues cut off abruptly, and one perfectly good character becomes a villain for absolutely no reason. So while I enjoyed it and finished the novel, I can't give it top ratings.

Well, here's one good thing I can say about the story - the MC gets to enjoy s*x instead of somehow being mysteriously black and blue every morning (looking at you, Legend of... more>> Minglan). But it does feel like she was browbeaten into it, which is uncomfortable. <<less
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Zanders
Zanders rated it
May 23, 2020
Status: Completed
The story is very enjoyable and although it has a genderbender tag it's really good. I read the raws for this story probably a year or 2 ago because I was so entranced by the chapters out at the time. The interaction between the ML and MC is good with lots of comedy/misunderstandings and eventual feelings *cough*. Also seeing the ML question themselves was fun. I also enjoyed how it isn't like 1000 chapters long and would suggest reading it. C:
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
sun.rise
sun.rise rated it
January 23, 2024
Status: Completed
It was fun at the start but the ending is mediocre.

The first part of the story was really enjoyable. The FL is funny and street-smart her way in sticky situations. Though there were bumps in the middle part for the tranlations but you can still get the gist of the story but it probably affected the quality and its flow. Some of the translations were a headache to read but kept on reading to see how the FL's identity will unfold and their smut moment. Sadly it went downhill from... more>> that part. Props to ML for putting two to two for Fl's identity. There were a lot of teasing before their long awaited smut but then it was subpar.

On the latter part of the story, it became more cliché especially the FL's revealing her identity seems too rush. Probably I have too much expectation on this part because of how the author builds it up just for it to crashed the hype and the good momentum it had.

The 2nd ML was poorly written, it was so funny how the author put too much effort on this character at the start of the story then just let it fade in the background. Occassionally appearing to make troubles for the ML. The confronation between the MC's and the 2nd ML were disappointing. It was like the author was trying to get rid of the 2nd ML and leave it just like that.

Just that the revelations and smuts were anticlimatic.

At the end the author just slaps anything just to make the story some sense. Adding some more drama and misunderstanding with the couple that it was laughable. As the result it was very disappointing.

You can sensed the author was passionate on writing this up at the start then somewhat the author lost its reason to continue this and just wrote anything just to finish it.

I still enjoyed reading this but not worth on re-reading it. <<less
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soonshim
soonshim rated it
June 2, 2023
Status: c80
The story started off quite funny, I love the MC and how clueless she is at most. Going through, the story started its heavy plot and I quite like it. If you like to read Chinese historic stories, high chance you are going to like this. But then closing to the end, it becomes confusing. I don't know if it's the story or the translator that made it so hard to read.

By the way, this story is translated by many different groups. The first and second groups did a great... more>> job, but after that it started going downhill. I couldn't understand a single thing the translator is trying to say, and their website is making me mad. I'm reading using iphone's safari, but the text is really small I can't even find the button to enlarge it. In one of the group's website, when I click on the next button I got redirected to a 18++ site like what??

In conclusion, I give the story 4 star, first and second English translator's groups 5 star, and the rest 1 star. <<less
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Alta
Alta
December 3, 2021
Status: --
Reviews about this being a "thinly disguised yaoi novel" are misguided. I read BL and no this is not even attempting to pose as one. If the author was a raging fujoshi, let me tell you there would be a lot more secret gay couples in the background (And there are none. ML and 2nd ML are the only ones pursuing MC).

Besides, ML was never gay. He's thinking he was because of MC but he doesn't actually like men in general.

... more>>
Spoiler

ML tried to read a book on gay s*x and was just disgusted.

It's even cute and respectable that he comes to the conclusion that he liked MC for the person they are.

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I do appreciate that the female protagonist is not a complete mess of a maiden who swoons and loses IQ at first touch.

MC has smarts, backbone, and motivation beyond ML's PP even when falling in love. I respect that. And yeah she's not feminine like dolled up concubines but she does have an inner girl to her that fits in with the plot.

A good read. <<less
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
hobbes
hobbes rated it
August 21, 2021
Status: Completed
This is a gem. I binged it. Its so funny that you will burst out laughing so many times so dont read it on subways like me. Lots and lots and loooots of fluuff....

FL - As it says in the description she will be hiding her identity and living as an eunuch in the palace. She will be very smart and witty. she feels very alive and lives her life freely. She is not a mary sue.

... more>>
Spoiler

Her father, mother and brother would have all been mu*dered and she will be the only one who was able to escape. So she will come into the palace to take revenge for her family. But the emperor will kill him before her. So she will be waiting to make some money and go out of the palace to live peacefully.

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ML - the emperor. The story is mostly about his life with her and not much is shown as per the political point of view. So the character that everyone sees is a cold, kind and decisive emperor. But he will totally opposite to that in front of the FL. He will struggle a lot before coming to accept his feelings for her. (That part is really funny). He will love her very much. This kind of dedication is rarely shown in the historic novels.

The story flow was great. There was never anything boring. Loved all the side characters too. The son of the emperor, tortoise, her friends.

Second ML

Spoiler

He is the prince. brother of the emperor. He will not have an ambitions about the throne and will want to live a simple and carefree life. But he will fall in love with the FL. He will always think that the emperor is forcing her. The FL also will be trying to get out of the palace. So he will want to try to get her out. He does try to win her favor by creating some misunderstandings between her and the emperor at the end. But I dint think it was too bad. His mother would have died and he will be all alone too.

When she tells at the end decisively that she doesn't like him, he accepts that. I kind of feel bad for him. Actually the story would be great without him too.

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Ending

Spoiler

They get married. She will become the empress. She will be of a noble family so the ML will reinstate her status and marry her lawfully. Its shown that she gets pregnant in the end but dont show anything about the child. The ML will also not go to any other concubine after meeting her. She will be very jealous about him and he will follow because he will not want anyone else apart from her too.

The last chapter shows that her brother will be alive too. He would have lost his memory. But he remembers some things in the end after hearing about his family and his sister who is now the empress.

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There is a manhua adaptation for this novel too.
Its a very light read. You wont regret reading it. Go for it. <<less
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Smtha
Smtha rated it
July 31, 2021
Status: Completed
It’s take a live action drama to ruin a good novel, I feel bad for the author. The story premise was good. Just there some chapters mtl that ruin some reading. Later a good translator make it readable. The big 1st part is good and funny. Some mystery and fluff and good misunderstandings, entertaining to read. The later part, fell to the cliche plot. But overall a good read. But I feel it’s missing something, dunno thats my take. Way better that. The eunuch is pregnant. That a very disappointing... more>> later plot. Thank you <<less
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