Love, Expired

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Many years ago, Zhou Hao was still that nutcase that was proud on the surface, but underneath, he starved for love. He treated Jiang Yuqian as family, and was extremely good to him.

Jiang Yuqian did not love him, instead scorning him for irrationally clinging on to him, and finally sent him to hell with one kick.

Many years later, Zhou Hao’s disposition had improved a lot. He had learnt to love everyone good around him, the only exception being Jiang Yuqian.

Jiang Yuqian, however, was as though possessed. He started missing the uniqueness of the little nutcase, and started to cling on to him as though he was a plaster…

Associated Names
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LE
过期关系
Related Series
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Recommendations
Years of Intoxication (2)
Perfect Match (2)
Love Late (2)
Love is too Frustrating (2)
Imprisoned (1)
How Can I Get Rid of Him (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Danmei novels I've read (and i love these !!)
  2. bekhon
  3. Scum gong at its finest
  4. My Danmei Collection
  5. [BL] Collection

Latest Release

Date Group Release
10/09/22 BlackBoxTL c21
07/30/22 BlackBoxTL c20
03/07/22 BlackBoxTL c19
12/18/21 BlackBoxTL c18
12/18/21 BlackBoxTL c19
06/30/21 BlackBoxTL c17
05/11/21 BlackBoxTL c16
03/19/21 BlackBoxTL c15
02/06/21 BlackBoxTL c14
01/10/21 BlackBoxTL c13
12/11/20 BlackBoxTL c12
08/04/20 BlackBoxTL c11
05/30/20 BlackBoxTL c10
05/13/20 BlackBoxTL c9
05/13/20 BlackBoxTL c8
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Review
18 Reviews


RoseAmethyst remembrance
RoseAmethyst
Mar 02, 2020
Status: c89
I think the most notable thing about this novel is how realistic it is. All the events has a logical cause and effect to it. (Take the MC's twisted personality for example. The terrible way he was treated in his childhood shaped him into the obsessive person he grew up into.)

This novel starts off with a lot of angst and drama, but after ch. 30, the novel kind of shifts into a slice-of-life story as the MC starts to live a more monotonous lifestyle (with a few major events... more>> popping up). It's rather boring, but it portrays a very realistic depiction of a day-to-day lifestyle. I guess it's something we can appreciate in a novel because it makes the gradual development in the MC so much more realistic and it really captures the slow of a process it is for a person to change themselves.

The whole novel goes over the course of 9 years and I'm so impressed with how the MC was able to turn his life around, free himself from his past burdens, and become a better person. I see this novel as the MC's personal growth story rather than a BL romance novel. I don't really care much for the main pairing and merely view it as a product of the MC's journey.

One thing I want to refute is one of the reviewer's claims about abuse in this novel. Yes, the MC used underhanded methods to get the ML, but you can't call it abuse. The MC and ML's relationship could be called unhealthy at best. This novel has a lot of s*x scenes (especially in the first 20 chapters). The scenes themselves are not explicit, but the graphic descriptions of the aftermath is enough to give you chills.

My thoughts on the ending:

Spoiler

I feel that the MC would be better matched with Sun YiWen than the ML, Jiang Yuqian. It's really sad that they split because of Sun YiWen's financial crisis (he made a deal with his sugar daddy to pay off his grandfather's medical debt).

Sun YiWen - I feel like Sun YiWen is the most insightful character in this novel and was the only character whom the MC seriously listens to. All the advice he gave to the MC seemed to have helped him for the better and all the positive changes in the Zhou Hao's life could be accredited to Sun YiWen's influence. Sun YiWen definitely has a special place in the MC's heart and the only person to make the MC feel emotional yearning.

The ML - The ML never had this level of influence that Sun YiWen had on the MC even after they reconciled and got together. I would even go far as to say that Sun YiWen's influence is the only reason the MC was willing to reconnect with the ML. Ironically, it was also due to Sun YiWen's parting advice that the two ending up breaking up because the MC chose to follow his heart to travel to Africa (for a humanitarian cause) instead of staying with the ML.

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Timeline:

Spoiler

10s - there were several instances of the ML willingly showing up to the MC's home and taking care of the MC. The ML's harsh opinions of the MC starts changing as they spend more time together. (This is the calm before the storm)

20s - 3 major incidents occurs, causing the MC to be pushed further in despair and shatter his interest in the ML.

  1. MC finds out from Yan Ming that the ML knew that MC went through a level 7 earthquake but didn't attempt to find him. (This incident was particularly hurtful because it showed that the ML didn't care even if the MC's life was in danger)
  2. The ML posts a s*x video that shows MC's face (The MC knows that the ML did this as revenge because the MC pushed the ML's love interest down the stairs)
  3. MC's mother dies (Alienated by his mother for years, getting his mother's approval was a huge obsession of the MC. Her death completely shattered him. His failure to reconcile with his mother lead made the MC lose all hope in saving his strained relationship with the ML.)

By ch. 30, the MC is so emotionally damaged that he becomes completely indifferent towards the ML. He moves out of the house that was bought by the ML and starts living with Sun YiWen. Yan Ming (who is also heartbroken) moves out of Teacher Jiang's home and joins the MC and Sun YiWen.

30s - The ML realizes his feelings toward the MC. His love interests decides to peacefully break up with him after realizing that the ML is in love with the MC. The ML starts investigating the MC and eventually starts stalking the MC (just like how the MC had stalked the ML before he blackmailed him)

40s - Sun YiWen leaves with Ou Yi (it is implied that they have a sugar daddy-baby relationship). The MC moves out of the city to a rural town.

ch. 47 - 3 year timeskip.

50s-60s - The ML continues to stalk the MC after he returns. (This whole section was very boring because all we see is just the ML following the MC in his day-to-day life.)

70s - the MC no longer rejects the ML's company and starts warming to the ML. He even quits his job to move back to City A to live with the ML.

80s - The MC's stepfather and half-sister stirs up trouble. MC has his emotional reunion with Sun YiWen. The MC comes clean to ML's parents about their relationship. The ML breaks up with the MC when the MC refuses to cancel the registration to volunteer at a hospital in Africa and for hiding about his confrontation with the ML's mother. MC returns after 2 years and the two get back together.

  • Zhou Hao - age 33 (at the end of novel)
  • Jiang Yuqian - age 30
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astrobabe
astrobabe
May 24, 2019
Status: Completed
Well, how to begin...I really like this story even though that might make me a masochist. It often seems that the "drama" and "mature" tags just mean a story will probably be tragic and depressing. But somehow, even though my heart often aches, there is that wonderful feeling of being pulled and the unshakable feeling of wanting to see resolution. I'm reading this through MTL and I can probably classify it as "medium to high" readability. There are of course parts that will not make sense, but the atmosphere and... more>> mood are often conveyed properly enough, even if that mood is most often "sad".

I don't know if I entirely like the MC and/or all of the characters including the ML and the side characters, except for MC's best friend. But I do know that I am rooting for them all. I want them to find happy endings despite their mistakes. There are a lot of entanglements all around. To be honest, they're all hot messes for different reasons. The MC in particular is as obsessive and irrational as the synopsis says he is... and he does a lot of s*upid things where you're just like, "STOOOOOP. Save yourself the trouuuuble. OMG PLS. YOU'RE KILLING ME." But in a very compassionate way. The ML is not a nice person...I don't even know if I want them to end up together. Part of me does but I also feel like that's the part that's been conditioned from reading all these BL light novels where it's like, "Oh, he's the ML. Get together. Okay." In this case, would it even be healthy for them to be together? I don't know...I haven't gotten far enough to get a sense of how they will develop and heal all scars left from the unhealthy parts of their relationship.

There are two important side characters introduced so far, and one is a cinnabun while the other is like...a sriracha cinnabun. Idk how I feel about the latter one who goes by the name of Sun Yiwen. Perhaps you will feel the same when you get to him.

I like this story because it is messy. I like it because it makes me feel something different. Often when I read other light novels, things are so clean and tidy and simple. "Ah, look, face-slapping. Eternal love across worlds. Uh... coincidental things that just work out in the MC's favor." Which is nice, but it gets stale after 50 chapters unless the author is adept at introducing different conflicts and rising tensions. The journey is often like entering a roundabout and circling 10 times before choosing the exit directly across from where you entered. The journey is often mindless, and you see the same scenery over and over again. This story... from my perspective, you're basically starting at a car wreck, and you're stumbling out. You sort of hope that you end up at a hospital so you can get all your injuries healed, but you actually don't have a phone so you're wandering around a little lost and suffering all the way. Even though it hurts to walk and it's an eternal struggle, you feel the indescribable need to try to reach that hospital. Will you end up at the hospital? You don't know. I don't know. But it's worth it to try.

I hope you try. And I hope you relish the experience as much as I do [did].

Edit: I completed the story. It's still worth 5 stars. I think I definitely missed some nuances and details because of MTL. There seemed to be parts near the 2/3rd point where it was a little stagnant? And some character developments that sort of just happened but based on the work as a whole, I'm inclined to believe it was due to MTL mistranslating key points that would've explained things. HOWEVER, honestly, this story kept me feeling anxious all the way until the end. It made me want to see how it resolved and also made me NOT want to see how it resolved because I had NO idea which way things were going to work out.

Be prepared.

Also things in this story people might not like:
Spoiler

Forced outing, adultery, coerced prostitution, stalker behavior, mental trauma

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Some of these things are more prominent or are bigger segments of the text than others. 1, 2, and 3 take place during the first half and are events/scenes that aren't prolonged. 4 and 5 are thematic with 4 being integral to the relationship between certain characters and 5 centering around MC and how some people feel towards him. <<less
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rozee00
rozee00
Jan 11, 2021
Status: Completed
This novel contains a whole lotta angst, verbal abuse, physical abuse, abuse of money/power, mentions of neglect, manipulation, and blackmail. Now, if any of that triggers you, avoid this novel. It gets dark and ugly, but there are beautiful poignant moments/interactions. I did not enjoy the angst nor did I enjoy the end pairing, but I enjoy the fact that the author took the time to flesh out other characters and their relationships to the main characters. The progression of the story is realistic and shows that scars can... more>> run deep and they can drag you down.

Still here? The novel is definitely a tearjerker, and the characters I loved most were the side characters. Open spoiler for a quick timeline/summarization of the novel/character break down.

Spoiler

TIMELINE

Prenovel: College setting. Zhao Hao falls for Jiang Yuqian and realizes that Jiang Yuqian has affections for his friend, Cheng Zixu. Zhao Hao finds a p*rn video of a person who looks like Cheng Zixu, edits it, and uses the edited video to blackmail Jiang Yuqian into having s*xual relations with him in exchange for him not releasing the video.

Start of novel: Zhao Hao and Jiang Yuqian are forced f*ck buddies. Zhao Hao only knows how to provoke Jiang Yuqian in order to get him to sleep with him. He's hoping to get love from Jiang Yuqian, Jiang Yuqian is disgusted with and wants nothing to do with him. There's a lot of Jiang Yuqian verbally abusing and being rough with Zhao Hao. Zhao Hao is under the delusion that he can turn this into a real relationship. Eventually, Jiang Yuqian has had enough and decides to pursue Cheng Zixu. Zhao Hao gets even more upset and lashes out at Cheng Zixu. Slowly Zhao Hao starts to realize that he won't be loved by Jiang Yuqian and can't put up with being treated like sh*t anymore. The turning point is when Jiang Yuqian releases a video on the web of Zhao Hao getting f*cked and calling hubby. Jiang Yuqian was on the other side of the camera so he isn't implicated.

Midway through novel: Zhao Hao had saved a younger college kid, Sun Yiwen, getting beat/possibly r*ped. Sun Yiwen is a super sweetie pie, despite some of the things he's been through, and Zhao Hao finally gets to experience what it means to be cared for and loved. He and the kid move into together and start a relationship. They don't sleep with each other, but they take care of and thing of each other. Jiang Yuqian is with Cheng Zixu, but can't stop thinking of Zhao Hao. =_= He wants Zhao Hao back, but he goes about it in a scummy way. He keeps looking for Zhao Hao while he is still living with Cheng Zixu. Eventually he breaks up with Cheng Zixu. Poor guy is pretty understanding of all the sh*t that's been going on and takes the break up rather gracefully. Jiang Yuqian wanting to get Zhao Hao schemes with another dude to get them to break up. Wen has to take care of his dad, and he's also doing it for Zhao Hao, so he leaves. Zhao Hao is heartbroken because tbh, Wen was probably the first person to show deeper genuine care and affection for him.

Timeskip: Zhao Hao leaves. He and Jiang Yuqian intersect again at some point. Jiang Yuqian chases him, but for Zhao Hao, all that remains from before are strong feelings of rejection for Jiang Yuqian.

End: Zhao Hao grows a lot, and while he still has a massive inferiority complex and craves human love and affection, he manages all those emotions a little better and tries harder to live for himself. And this is the result of Sun Yiwen's words towards him about living well. Zhao Hao ends up with Jiang Yuqian. It's not a passionate love, and I'm not sure if you can call it love. But Zhao Hao steadily grows affection for Jiang Yuqian and I feel like it's because he's afraid of being alone and Jiang Yuqian is a steady and familiar constant in his life. They settle into a kind of comfortable affection, but I don't know if I would call it love. Sun Yiwen ends up with some random character, but he still keeps in touch with Zhao Hao.

My favorite character was Sun Yiwen. He's not perfect by any means, but he showed an uncalculating love for Zhao Hao, and I think that's what ended up saving Zhao Hao, in the end. I legit cried when they reunited and Sun Yiwen tells Zhao Hao that he is still his family and that he can count on him. Zhao Hao was a child who grew up without love and discipline, and definitely exhibited a deep and dark desire to be loved. So when he blackmailed Jiang Yuqian into sleeping with him, he doesn't see anything wrong with it. All he knows is that he wants love and he can't get it. Jiang Yuqian is the person I dislike most in the novel. I know he's just as much a victim and it's hard to pass blame with all the crazy drama going on, but he spent so long ignoring Zhao Hao for Cheng Zixu, finally f*cking got Cheng Ziwu... and then friggin dumped his ass to go back to Zhao Hao and ruined Zhao and Sun Yiwan's happiness. This is something he continues to feel guilty about at the end of the novel while still simultaneously being jealous of Sun Yiwen.

Other decent characters in the novel. Yan Ming. He was such a good friend, and a good son. I felt he was realistically protrayed, and I'm honestly glad he got a happy ending with the person he loved!

Jia Lin was also a decent human being. Grandparents were great and accepting and I wish baby boy Zhao Hao could have grown up with them instead of his ho mom who forgot him as soon she she made a new family.

A common theme is money and how money is essential to pay bills/live life and how it affects dynamics between people. Zhao Hao has a complex about it. Jiang Yuqian is kind of cold because money is an easy way to fix things. Yan Ming, who always has Zhao Hao's best intentions at heart, almost gives in at some point because of it. Sun Yiwen is a sugar baby so he can take care of his father, and this impacts his ability to be independent and to be free to be in a relationship with Zhao Hao.

The side characters and how they made Zhao Hao feel definitely make the novel more worthwhile to read. Up to you now to decide if you wanna read it. It's mtl-able if you can't wait for the translations to come out.

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Shruti kumari
Shruti kumar
Jun 29, 2020
Status: --
This novel is very much full of abuse and heartbreaking things. It's very emotional how MC just wants the love of ML but the ML didn't give a sh*t about it and treated MC very coldly like as if he has mu*dered all his family can't he just show even a little bit of friendlyness towards him and when he realised that he love MC but MC didn't wanted him at that time ML even thought that he should take away all the people around MC so that MC only... more>> have him to depend. While reading it my eyes became like a panda because of continuous crying it was so emotional. I thought I almost became a masochist while reading it <<less
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attilde235
attilde235
Aug 14, 2020
Status: Completed
Just finished MTL-ing this novel and I am genuinely at a loss for words. Like, I’m not sure how to describe it because it felt like I went on a journey with these characters as they progressed through the most turbulent period of their relationship.

Like the other reviewers, I agree that this story is very different from other bl novels in that it depicts the love and relationships between the different characters in a messy yet realistic way. It’s an emotional entanglement that stretches for years in the MC and... more>> ML’s life yet it’s written in such a way that you sympathize with all the characters despite how unlikeable they can be or the actions they carry out. At the end of the day, no one is perfect yet you sympathize with them and feel with them.

I think that is the strong point of this novel; that it makes you care for the characters, their lives and that with each chapter, you become anxious because you want things to work out for them. I gotta give props to the author for the way they wrote the MC, he is such a complex character and while he is strong, smart (he’s doctor and started from very unfavourable beginnings) and self disciplined in many ways, his vulnerabilities and weaknesses really tug at your heartstrings despite some of his nastier actions. I even started liking the ML near the last half of the story and it just shows you how much the two of them have grown and changed throughout the novel.

This novel feels raw as in many places, I felt stripped and emotionally bared to the bones, much like the MC. Despite its flaws (I feel like the middle part does suffer from some pacing issues) I highly recommend it!

Also, Just as a heads up, this is a happy ending. There are 5 extras with 88 chapters in the main story. I noticed many sites only has the 1 extra, so if you decide to MTL it, please be aware because I think the extras really add value to the reading experience. <<less
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Exuria
Exuria
May 12, 2021
Status: Completed
I frankly don't like any of the pairings. I believe most of the shous deserved better and new gongs.

... more>>
Spoiler

Props to Sun Yiwen for getting into a new relationship and away from Ou Yi. The only person who was able to move on from a past relationship.

I didn't like how MC got back together with ML. I would have preferred MC learning to love himself, learn to love other people whether platonic or romantic, and move on with his life away from ML. Which only happened for 3 years, then author makes them meet again and ML now stalks MC.


Also, I didn't like how Yan Ming ended up with his teacher. Literally Yan Ming confessed that he liked the teacher, and the next day the teacher brings back a girlfriend and Yan Ming cooks for them. Then 3 years later when Yan Ming interviews the teacher, the teacher just asks if Yan Ming is still in love with him and if they should try out a relationship. Like bruh, the teacher should have f*cking grovelled if he wants to start pursuing Yan Ming after that sh*t he pulled.
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Night22
Night22
Jun 30, 2021
Status: --
I'm not a fan of angsty novels, tbh.

But I've been having a bit of problem with novels lately. It can't be said to a major problem, but it is a problem.

So I went through a lot of novels and read a lot of comments on each novel and one particular comment caught my attention.

... more>> It said that readers have been 'conditioned' to accept that the MC should be with the ML. And I suddenly realized how accurate that sentence was.

A big part of my problem is the fact that I cannot accept the MC being with any other guys beside the ML, before or even after meeting with the ML (provided that the MC and ML aren't already in a relatinship wuth other).

It's wrong to think like that, I know. But it's my own problem and my own psychological barrier, so I have to overcome it.

Then I came across this novel. I MTLed it. Not from the beginning, but I started with the part where the MC had moved in with SunYiWen.

Somehow it gave me fresh perspective about relationships. Being a virg*n or not is not the most important part in a relationship. It's about caring for each other. Love should be sth without each party calculating gains and losses.

And SunYiWen being a suagr baby for another guy honestly breaks my heart. But after reading the book to the end, I realize that it honestly doesn't matter. What matter is whether both of them get a happy ending after all of the bitterness they went through. And even though SYW and the MC doesn't end up together, I honestly wish that they did, because SYW loved MC in the most uncalculating way possible. And such love should be chesrished and respected.

SYW might come off as a gentle man, almost timid. But he's not. Underneath that gentleness is a tenacity that is etched into his bones. And that is sth that should be respected very much.

Thank the author for a wonderful work. <<less
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abodammen
abodammen
Jul 30, 2022
Status: --
Just one conclusion: I truly believe Sun Yiwen is MC's soulmate. Unfortunately, they met at the wrong time, got tangled up with the wrong people, that's why their relationship didn't have the space to settle. In another life, in another universe, I hope they meet in much better circumstances, because honest to god they did not deserve everything that happened to them, and I truly feel like they're the perfect match for each other. That's just my take.
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Nah
Nah
Apr 13, 2022
Status: Completed
I hesitate to begin the journey by reading this novel. Look at those low stars and reviews. Even so, I have nothing to read and want to torment the heart so I start anyway.

ML not the worst scum bastard. His only unreasonable action was when he

... more>>
Spoiler

upload Zhou Hao's p*rn video. Only ZH face was recorded in there. Even tho ML hurriedly delete it in the second day, but it's too late. Many has seen, especially MC's friends.

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ML did regret his action. At that time, ML already has affection for Zhou Hao but how they ended together pervent him to acknowledge that feeling.

One reviewer said that every Shou character in this novel was too easy to forgive their scum ML. I disagree. Zhou Hao (MC) spent dozens of chapters to get away from Jiang Y (ML) and only use ML's body to calm his disturbed feeling 😂. Old habit as s*x partner die hard I guess. About ZH's bestfriend with his ML, their story was not take much part in the novel. They are only mentioned when there is a change in their relationship. So it looks like the bestfriend is an easy person. There must be something happened in the process of accepting his ML (it took some time until he tell ZH he date his ML). Tho, his way of accepting not so frustrating like ZH to JY.

Its an okay journey. I'll give a good stars. <<less
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NIMISHAUJJAIN
NIMISHAUJJAI
Feb 24, 2020
Status: Completed
Strong book contains abuse, trauma and much more.

But has a happy ending.
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suitonjutsu02
suitonjutsu0
Jan 12, 2024
Status: Completed
Wow, just wow. This is a story of a broken relationship and people. They push and pull. Destroying each other. But cannot go out of style. They kill each other but cannot seem to let go.

I love either MC with ML and second lead. Second lead is pure and heals MC. But ML is actually what completes his heart and the puzzles. I love the contradiction and irony in this book. I think it's Beautifull
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abhi_2296
abhi_2296
May 06, 2023
Status: Completed
I skim read this novel but still chose to leave a review because the vibe of this novel is quite different from some of the other crematorium ("wife-chasing") novels I have read (and mostly disliked and dropped).

I like how the author explores different kinds of love. I love the exploration of the idea of platonic/familial love with a partner which is rarely touched upon in danmeis. I find this kind of love is oftentimes more profound than romantic love. There is no physical intimacy yet the connection is equally deep... more>> and sometimes even deeper.

The ending is happy but also kind of bittersweet. But I find it realistic and hopeful. And I am glad for the eight year old child, abandoned by his mother, who can finally live in the comfort of a family and grow old together with a loved one. <<less
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gundamwing
gundamwing
Oct 17, 2022
Status: --
Ok I finally read this novel twice or thrice because I was completely confused by MC character. I read the reviews and lots of sympathies for the MC, ok I understand he is mentally ill so lot of stunts he pulls is beyond the comprehension of a normal person behaviour. I am not sure the Author wanted to deliberately write MC as ambiguous. I can't explain it further without spoilers.

... more>>
Spoiler

Self esteem is described as one of the biggest character trait/flaw of the MC, which is the biggest plot hole for me.

From the start the way MC gets together with the ML is blackmail via a fake s*x video, and through which he coerces the ML to give him a house, unlimited expenses credit card, and weekend s*x visits from him. Scratches head how are these the actions of a person who has any self esteem. And it gets worst when the ML wants to breakup multiple times by telling him in not so kind words that the MC disgusts him, MC shamelessly forces him to stay because of the fake s*x video, hellllooooo where is your so called self esteem. And even after the break up when ML moves in with his white moonlight MC begs him to return SIGHHHHHHHHHH.

So in the next phase of the story when the ML realizes his mistake is begging MC to come back, MC rebuffs him saying he has too much self esteem to return to him, the so called self esteem that didn't exist when the 4 years they were actually together. One of the comical scenes is later on when MC wants to pay ML back all the money, ML desperately tries to make MC understand that he could never comprehend the actual amount because it is 4 years of MC frivolous shopping, MC still insists on doing it I realized how s*upid MC is because his self esteem has an on and off switch.

Lot of ML hate in the other reviews, but he is only character that actually made any sense to me, and I really sympathized with him because MC really broke him. First of all was the ML an as*hole in their 4 year entanglement, yes but that whole relationship was based on a lie so I don't blame the ML for being messed up. But when the ML realizes his love for the MC wants to get back together, the MC constantly blew hot and cold air. MC and ML would have s*x, after which ML will wrongly assume they are reconciling only for the MC to throw him out, have s*x, ML has false hopes, MC will abuse the ML, rinse and repeat. Now you might say it is the ML own fault for going back to an abusive relationship. But the ML is genuinely fell in love with the MC and he didn't want to give up on him, you know how in true love you don't give up on each other so I admired the ML courage to hold on. No I don't think ML love for MC is pity, because ML confessed he loved MC and wanted him back desperately before he read MC diary, the diary just made ML understand MC mental state better.

I sympathized with Sun Yiwen, MC second boyfriend but then the ruthless side of me is like dude who asked him to have s*x with a stranger for money and expect that to end well. Yes he is a maker for his own doom. No I don't think Sun Yiwen was a better fit for MC. The relationship with Sun Yiwen was the MC seeing a reflection of himself in SY, Sun Yiwen was naive fragile helpless like the MC was. MC was desperately holding on to Sun Yiwen memory because he wanted to fix Sun Yiwen life if Sun Yiwen could find happiness then there was hope for MC too. But it is said that MC doesn't understand love or what it takes to have healthy relationships, so his judgement his compromised. In the end I realized that the ML loves the MC more than Sun Yiwen did, and given the mentally fragility of MC that is what MC needs even if he doesn't realize it.

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Ppkk85
Ppkk85
Sep 12, 2022
Status: c68
Gosh, I just don't care for MC or ML. I don't like that there's barely any love to begin with between them then suddenly when MC found a new life and a new love who actually loves him. ML is like I want you back. I would have been happy with MC and his new lover to be together. The author just didn't give us any reason why we would want MC be with ML. Besides ML s*xual relationship with MC, and he started to feel bad bc of MC's... more>> up bringing, and his persistent to pursue MC. He doesn't contribute any positive light into MC's life unlike MC's 2nd lover did. I don't know. I might drop it. <<less
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xscape
xscape
Aug 20, 2022
Status: Completed
The MC was a highly disturbed person which stemmed from him being mistreated by his mother and step-family growing up, and the image of his mother in a red dress haunts him. The ML gets called a scum by many reviewers, from outsider's perspective, this seems to be the case. However, judging from his point of view, being blackmailed into a relationship by a person who threatened him with what later turned out to be a fake 'video' of the very person that he had loved for years, while that... more>> blackmailer knew the exact situation, would be frustrating, angering and disgusting. Thus he rebeled by not caring for him at all. What he really did wrong was to release the video of the MC (to retaliate the MC pushing his love down the stairs and breaking his leg) and breaking the MC's relationship with Sun YiWen (because he thought SYW being a sugar baby did not deserve the MC although this was an excuse he made so that the MC would be available again). In the end, when he saw SYW, he felt bad (but probably not apologetic) for forcing them apart. He did not know the actual mental state of the MC when he was with him the first time. The fact that he later fell in love with him seems to stem from his pity and sympathy for him when he came across the MC's blog and read his stories, thus he wanted to compensate him in his own ways. When SYW came back from abroad, he was scared that MC would leave him and yet, he thought he would let him go if he really chose to go back to SYW. So, he is not actually as scummy as one may think. In fact, one can't help but feel bad for the the characters - MC and his best friend, ML, SYW. I feel kind of depressed whenever I read the novel, yet I keep going back time and again. I don't understand why I keep punishing myself. <<less
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AImmortalZ
AImmortalZ
Jul 03, 2022
Status: Completed
Well, here's the thing. They started as toxic and got better. Especially MC, while there is a lot of angst. I can say that their relationship is getting better and starting to improve. While ML is a sc*mbag, in the later story, near the end, he persevered, tolerated, and supported the MC in their relationship. I'm touched because this story is a bit realistic. I also like other characters in the story, and the character I most like is Su (I forgot his name but his last name is Su),... more>> but I'm a bit sad for him in the end because
Spoiler

It was later revealed that while MC thought that he lived well in Europe, I think that was not the case because there was a sentence in the story that the friend of ML who MC thought gave Su person a good life had deceived him.

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Nao Otosaka
Nao Otosaka
Jun 14, 2022
Status: --
Honestly, I enjoyed it. It... wasn't probably the best read out there from the list of BLs that I have read as of yet on NU, but it was good. I actually enjoyed this overall "hubby chases wife till death do us apart" ambience, but apart from that; this has its own share of downsides as well.

... more>>
Spoiler

*Major spoiler alert*

MC: MC has a very tragic childhood to say the least, the consequences of which reflect unto his adulthood as well. He is a child, because he didn't get the opportunity to grow up into an adult in the true sense. He's immature, insecure and obstinate to get what he wants by hook or crook. ML also falls under this category of "wants". The way the two had this relationship of "partners with benefits" was due to MC blackmailing ML to get his attention. Their start was definitely tumultuous, but that doesn't mean MC didn't invest his 100% into that disastrous relationship albeit the methods being a bit crooked. Also, the relationship wasn't just one-sided. MC's devotion to their relationship, his care and love for ML did reach out to him (ML) but because of his (ML) ego, pride as well as MC's blackmail he (ML) didn't want to give their relationship a chance. Thus, continued their tug of war till ML finally did the irreparable and posted a video of their voice, but only making MC's face and voice clear.

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Common_people
Common_peopl
Sep 05, 2021
Status: Completed
I don't like angst, really. Make me moody and always need preparation for my heart to accept this. But I can say this one is good. Worth it. Every chapter make me curious and anxious, not boring.

The MC... He's in the wrong way to get ML's love. But the ML is too cruel, send their gv in public, oh my.. My heart bleed TT why the ML is this scummy.
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