Years of Intoxication


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Being secretly in love with someone is like having a strong alcoholic drink. One knows perfectly well that it will cause dizziness, will make a person lose oneself, and that it will be painful. And yet, like moths to a flame, it is gladly endured.

You shouldn’t overdo it, but I will not stop until I’ve gotten thoroughly drunk.

But for any amount of drunkenness, one day you’ll have to sober up.

Author’s note: This book is related to Zhen Feng Duijue and Zhiye Tishen [1]. The protagonists of both books will make an appearance, but Mr. Gu will play a bigger role, while the others are just there to buy soy sauce [2].


[1] Zhen Feng Duijue is listed as Beloved Enemy on NU, and Zhiye Tishen is referring to Professional Body Double.

[2] Buying soy sauce is slang for someone who doesn’t really care about the trending news. In this case, it refers to someone who plays a passerby role.

Associated Names
One entry per line
Drunk in Love
Related Series
Professional Body Double (Shared Universe)
Beloved Enemy (Shared Universe)
The Decade of Deep Love (3)
Gaze at the Scenes of Debauchery (2)
Sissy (2)
Professional Body Double (1)
15P 7H 6SM (1)
Friends with Benefits (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. My Reading List
  2. BL that's gonna squeeze yo heart good
  3. Dj lus
  4. Favorites
  5. Short Yaoi BL Part 3

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17 Reviews sorted by

Wolvelyn rated it
September 18, 2018
Status: Completed
This novel started off with the toxic relationship of He Gu (MC) and Song Ju Han (ML) who is a very famous singer.

He Gu has loved Song Ju Han since 7 years ago. He basically live, sleep, and breathe for him. But, it seems like Song Ju Han only takes him as a f*ck-buddy, as someone who always be there for him no matter what. Thus, he took He Gu for granted.

It doesn't matter whether Song Ju Han fooled around with other people, as long he comes back to He... more>> Gu, He Gu would always wait for him and swallowed his bitterness quietly. (Which is kinda s*upid, but hey, I'm a sucker for stories like this).

Song Ju Han was HORRIBLE to He Gu at the beginning of the story, and it will slowly get worse. He basically abused He Gu physically and mentally.

Eventually, He Gu's love is replace by a sense of helplesness and tiredness. He's basically saying 'f*ck it', then he began to treat Song Ju Han with indifference.

Song Ju Han cannot stand it and gets more aggressive (he's a f*cking bastard, I don't know what He Gu sees in him tbh). It makes their relationship more sour and drives He Gu away.

I think after he got away from Song Ju Han, He Gu becomes more like himself and slowly bloom, which attracts bees and butterflies (other guys). But of course, Song He Jun always be there to ruin it.

The situation is now reversed (OOHH MY FAVORITE PART, THIS IS WHY I READ THIS NOVEL). Song Ju Han realized that he is obssessively in love with He Gu.

But He Gu was like, 'Nah, I don't want your love anymore. I just want you get the f*ck off, so that I can carry my life in peace. b*tch, you have more drama than the Kardashians, and I want none of that.'

Isn't funny that you have to lose something first to understand how important it is to your life. (IM GLARING AT YOU SONG JU HAN)

And isn't funny that you have to go through all the abuse just to realize you worth more than a whiny b*tchy singer. (YES, IM LOOKING AT YOU HE GU)

This story is basically about that.


oh, but unfortunately they end up together.... which is why I reduce 4 stars to 3 stars, BECAUSE I THINK HE GU IS MUCH MORE SUITABLE AND HAPPIER WITH THAT GUY HE f*ckED IN EUROPE (sorry I forgot the name)

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Lizonka rated it
December 30, 2020
Status: Completed
I'm the most recent translator of this novel, so I may be a bit biased, but nonetheless, I wanna say that, of all the novels in the 188 Collection, this is my favorite.

As other reviews have said, this is very dog-blood and melodramatic, but that alone is no reason hate it. It all depends on your taste. If you like angsty novels where the scum gong gets the punishment he deserves and see the pathetic shou get some character development, then this is for you.

If you think dog-blood is beneath... more>> you, then skip this right now and go read something else.

This novel is going to be very frustrating, but it's also going to make you feel a roller-coaster of emotions. You're gonna hate, cry, curse, and all in all, just want to pull your hair out and scream. It's gonna be hella annoying, but all the emotions this novel makes you feel is what makes it very memorable. I think the numerous mixed reviews here on NU prove that.

Song Juhan is an a**hole, and He Gu is a cheap guy. The two of them are big f*cking idiots, and you can't help but want to bang their heads together. But they're going to grow out of it. There will be character development, and a very satisfying one at that.
Song Juhan will learn to be better, and He Gu will learn to respect himself more and be happy even without Juhan.

I really like this novel, and until now, I still keep rereading it. It's not perfect, but by dog-blood standards, it is great. The male lead's grovelling is so satisfying, so if you like seeing the scum gong suffer, you definitely have to read this. <<less
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btsdynamiteAUG21 rated it
September 20, 2020
Status: Completed
Wow. Just wow. The emotions I had for this story is just unbelievable. Plot, smut, and characters are great. ... more>>

Except the part that ML r*ped MC on the bathroom behalf of anger. It's a sad scene that both of them were hurting but ML chose the wrong way to hide it.


At the first parts of the story, the lonely MC was in "friendswithbenefits" with slag ML. The angst I feel towards ML is so strong I wished MC to be with anyone other than him. I really thought ML was beyond repair, nothing can solve his shamelesness.

What I love about MC was his calm yet calculating temperament. He only yearned ML's love for 7 years and do you know how it hurts how he repeatedly himself everytime ML sleep with anyone that his 7yr worth of feelings is just nothing to ML.??! HG knows that yet he still throws himself willingly into the pit. I was srsly wanting him to wake up from a nightmare and find himself a caring man. I was disappointed with MC in some chapters on how he just let himself be used my slag ML. 😞

What I finally expected happened. ML finally got his karma, ofc I felt satisfied but idk I also pity him from the oncoming chapters. He even became a lowkey yandere LMAO. I know that he himself lowkey loves MC inbetween those 7yrs but didnt know that it was already LOVE... HG said that even if SJH himself is 27 urs old, he stil had that childish and unknowing attitude.

It just hits me so hard how can their love be so full of wrong timings. Miscommumications happened then BOOM.

I really love that their final mutual love were made to avoid miscommunications.. even SJH initiated it. From slag gong to yandere gong to caring gong. 💜✌🏼

Still, thank you for the translation! This was a very awesome novel and damn the emotions in this one, my braincells are flushed.

The story is so great. It shows that life with love is very unpredictable...a rollercoaster. I hoped to see He Gu's friends' (Jie yu, fengzhang, he yi) individual lives after but its okay. I dont know how much tears I just shed for this story... Thank you very much it was a wonderful reading experience. 💜 <<less
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mmem rated it
September 27, 2018
Status: c5
Honestly I'm not sure what to think about this story.

The relationship between the MC & ML is... complicated. On the one hand the ML takes him for granted but also seems possessive of him, not to mention they've been in this toxic relationship for 6 or so years, but on the other hand, the MC is a stalker. I mean I don't think it's okay how the ML treats the MC, but the MC kind of lets him, I feel like they're both responsible for how their relationship turned out.... more>> And while this is titled Intoxicated I think Obsessive fits better. MC is obsessed with ML, to the point I'm not even sure I'd call it love. Sure he's older now and tired, and according to the summary he eventually moves on, which seems much healthier than what's going on now, but can someone so obsessed with another person actually truly move on and let that person go?

Guess I have to keep reading to find out. <<less
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King of No Killing
King of No Killing rated it
August 23, 2020
Status: Completed
I don't know where to start. Hmmm... I started reading this right after reading the Gaze at the Scenes of Debauchery, which I cried a bucket, of course, hoping that I can find the satisfaction of karma that the ML will receive. So yeah. I did find it here - more than what I was hoping for. Finished this in two days. It was a roller coaster ride. I cursed the ML for being such a fckng a-hole and waited when the MC will leave him. I cried. I screamed... more>> and cussed over and over again out of frustration and hatred. Ugh. I thought the miseries were endless. Then when karma came I was like "HA! In your fckng face!" to the ML. But damn. The agony wasn't just one time. Others would think that it was kinda draggy. But MC was very determined of not going back to the ML's side. And the ML was quite insane also ~cough~ which I liked ~ cough~. I can't believe that I pitied the ML. Sigh. I remember in the past I was always hoping to find a very cliche manga stories like this one - f*ckbuddies, uke ran away, seme went mad and chased him down and etc. And after reading YGMCT and this novel.... I still want more. Hahaha

Anyway, despite the lack of proofreading of the translation I still loved it and very grateful to the translator. I would recommend this to those fujoshis and fudanshis who are into possessive and obsessive seme/gong. All the love for this novel.

Edited 04 Oct 2020: And after more than a month I still can't get over this. Must reread. Sigh.

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Eden rated it
May 16, 2019
Status: c51
I actually gave it 5 stars in the first half.


It looked promising. I thought the ML would rebuild a sane relationship with the MC, but he just changed from a slag to a yandere. And when He Gu finally looked liberated, it turned out it wasn't entirely the case. He never got his dignity back. It was so frustating to read the second half.

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Jay0 rated it
June 4, 2020
Status: Completed
Half of the story was me growing an aneurysm at Song Ju Han's a**holery, getting blue balls waiting for him to get smashed down from his high horse. Each chapter compounded my anger until I even wanted to slap He Gu for his 'this can't be the end' self-deprecating mentality.

... more>>

After 800 years they finally breakup in Ch. 32, but it's only in Ch. 46 that I can get some sweet satisfaction from a suffering a**hole.


The characterisation of SJH is well-done; he's absolutely an arrogant egotistical douchebag, and that doesn't flip 180 when he realises his faults. The arrogance and hot-headedness is still there but you can tell he tries to restrain it, and he grows to realise gradually how his past actions were wrong and what it means to cherish someone. He talks to his mother, and clearly reflects on his actions before making efforts to change his ways. That's pretty beautiful right there.

I liked HG after he decided to cut SJH from his life. He matures and learns to enjoy life and let go. He isn't wishy-washy in forgiving SJH either...


... until they get back together at the end, but I don't mind this time since SJH really changes for the better. (He'll still have to make it up to HG for the rest of his life tho *I got my eyes on you*).


The translation is slightly difficult to understand at times, but I'm grateful for it. <<less
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pimni rated it
December 30, 2020
Status: c78
This is one of the best romance novels I have read. I won't say BL because love is love; the emotion, the pain, the happiness couples feel in a relationship does not and should not be defined by gender.

The ML is a scum no doubt but he does genuinely change for the MC. The MC is one of the most clear-headed ones I have read in a long time, and he does not come back easily. He does not forgive the ML just because he repented, but also gives him... more>> a chance to repent and really grow in a relationship. The book reminded me of the MC from How to deal with a Tsundere Gong; they both make sure that the ML is truly repenting their act before taking them back.

As for the book being a part of a trilogy, the crossover is more with Beloved Enemy and not that much with Professional Body double. But all three are great books; now I need a fan-made chapter where all these three pairs meet. <<less
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Achiless rated it
December 15, 2020
Status: c53
So this started good. I don't care about the toxicity and the as*hole ML, cause it's an angst novel so that doesn't matter. Instead, the more toxicity and the more of an as*hole the ML is, the more angst we'll be treated with later uwu.

But honestly, unlike what most reviewers say, I don't think that the ML is that hard to bear. If you put such a character in real life, then I'll find it hard to bear. But prob either due to the author's writing or the translation, the... more>> graveness of his behaviour is somehow lessened. You can also sense from the beginning that he actually does love the MC (not that that justifies anything, but its easier to bear for the reader). So the angst was going well, but then it got way too repetitive. Angst is often about going in circles. It's therefore pretty hard, if not impossible, to completely avoid repitition. So if you're going to write a cliché angst novel, you either finish it quickly, or you keep adding new stuff to be angsty about. This way you can avoid boring your reader. The problem with Intoxination is that at the middle part, nothing more was added. At a certain point, the relationship between the two just kept going in circles too much. The ML also had few to none (depends on your standards) character development (yet). As I said before, you could already see his real feelings for the MC at the start, so even after he finally came to terms with them, there's still not really a change for the reader. I'm not saying that his toxic traits should just randomly dissapear since that would be unrealistic. It's that there's just honestly no change and nothing interesting about the ML towards the middle-end.

Nonetheless, the other areas are done well. I don't get why reviewers would complain about the toxicity itself since this is about romance found in pain (aka angst), not some sweettouth romance. The author wrote this toxicity to be dark and depressing. The audience is different, and I think (hope) we all think that the ML is moraly wrong. Nobody is romantisising the ML or his behaviour, but romantisising angst and tragedy (in fiction). There's a huge difference. If you can't get the difference, then geuss what, you're just not into angst and tragedy. And that's oké. You do you. <<less
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Sarah_Jae18 rated it
October 14, 2020
Status: Completed
well there're so much heart wrenching scenes! (but my motto is as long as it has happy ending I dare to read it! bc plain and flat story line is boring, but even so! I also like fluffiness ʕ•ٹ•ʔ)

so... the gong (SJH) is 10% tsundere n 90% real bastard 🙄 ... more>>

when HG wake up from his s*upidity for loving SJH unconditionaly (helpless) then the story reverse for SJH to pursue HG, there is a certain chapter I really believe SJH is a bastard and hopeless bc at that time :

HG remind (confront) SJH about what he did to him in the past, at that time SJH wanted to eat cheesecake in the middle of the night, then HG run out and spend almost 3 hours to find 24 hrs bakery shop, then after he run back unluckily he forgot the key 🙁 the he knock and knock, the bastard SJH didn't open the door, back then HG think SJH is asleep, then he waited in the car until dawn, in the morning SJH said the cake sweet, he didn't eat the cake, so now that he confront SJH, he exposed and said ".... you don't f*cking eat the f*cking cake! actually at that time you're not so sleepy right? but you're just to lazy get up and open the door". and the SJH who currently say he love HG silent... he cannot say a word (which is mean he was a bastard)


but I also pitied SJH, after he pursue HG back, HG give him a very cold shoulder,

until 60 ch or so I'm crying for SJH struggle and pain to get HG back.... 😭 until he make a song for HG (you must read it yourself!) which hurting my nose...


then yeah after so much frustrating chapters at last their reconciled! I actually read this author other novel 'in love with an idiot' which is I suppose the rating deserves get 5 out of 5 👻 <<less
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jojobebing rated it
August 13, 2020
Status: c81
After reading Beloved Enemy since I cant still let go of Gu Qing Pei and Yuan yang I decided to give this novel a chance.. it may not good as Beloved Enemy but it has a unique story about second chance.. half way through novel I got frustrated that I want to drop it but it got me curious of what will Song Jun han going to do so that He Gu will come back to him... suddenly the Concert and The song Ai He Gu omgggg I cried so... more>> hard on that part.. I really glad I read it through.. I know Song Jun Han such an ass but I like how the author explain it through Vanessa points of view.. this is great novel must give this a chance!! <<less
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hiryukaede rated it
September 4, 2019
Status: Completed
This story... Sigh...

Excually I want give it 5 start, but, when the MC starting to give his forgiveness to ML... Sigh, I take back the rating...

7 years, the ML treat the MC like a tr*sh bottom, and also, the MC so naive, and still stick around and hope The ML Will falling in love?! Sigh, love really is blind,.. even im the reader feel so sick just look at the ML,...

And then, the MC finnally tired, and want to run away, forget the ML, is then, this novel starting go... more>> to a good story, and the MC also starting go around with other man, its good, really,.. finnaly he move on!!!

....... And then, the ML go crazy yandere mode search the MC, and force him to comeback,.... Sigh, really, if only the MC go with another guy, and move on completely,.. maybe this novel can be a Jewel,.. but, the ending, dissapointed me a lot...

Anyway, the ML was bastard int beginning until the end,.. force someone to stay beside you, r*pe him, the obsession,.. nah, if someone want to read the so masocist feeling, here, the novel for you,... <<less
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Nokiyoh rated it
November 5, 2020
Status: Completed
Overall it's good read, wrap up pretty nicely till the end.

Yeah there's many up and down, you'll feel frustrated, angered and anxious until you just feel hopeless and just read along because you're curious about the outcome of such toxic entanglements, then things got better, I think this is good how they resolved their relationship towards the end at least they learned to communicate that's a good step, HG got better not some spineless **#* he is at the beginning and SJH try his hardest change for the better

And Better... more>> yet they actually doing their best to solved their problems towards each other along the way, which is nice because I don't like it when problem is not addressed properly and just pretend they don't existed just because they're already together.

When it comes to HE (the ending) I actually feel liberated lol, feeling a bit happy everything is over I just want them to be happy now after everything they gone through. <<less
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saintwawa rated it
April 16, 2020
Status: c1
Song Ju Han is such a player that even I got my feelings cheated. Poor He Gu. Can't blame him for falling head over heels in love. My heart felt so wretched for HG when I knew the reason why SJH approached him.

Fast forward a dozen chapters, the tables turned and HG's emotional reaction towards SJH is so indifferent, it actually makes me pity SJH. Well, he deserved this treatment because karma is a b*tch.

Overall, this story is quite enjoyable to read although I struggled to understand the translations but... more>> as long as you can ignore the mistakes, just grasp the main point of it and finish reading. I am interested to read the same author's other works (Professional Body Double & In Love with an Idiot) since I like his style of writing. I read Beloved Enemy before this novel and I really enjoyed it. <<less
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totoroteddy rated it
October 22, 2020
Status: Completed
This novel is the best example of a toxic relationship. My conclusion from the novel: ML and MC need urgent therapy. ML is the definition of a selfish psychopath son of bit*h. MC is the definition of moronic and spineless. Readers will get their patience tested throughout the novel. So better skip this and read some good once.
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ikitty03 rated it
September 10, 2019
Status: Completed
Most people dont like Song Ju Han because the way he treat He Gu. Song Ju Han doesnt believed in love. The story tell why Song Ju Han childhood is like. What surprise me how can Song Ju Han stay with He Gu for 7 years. It started of 7 years later but also tell how they first meet. There was love traingle in the story, ah. Yeah it is sick he sleep with other people beside him becuase he have a strong s*x drive. Talking about sex. It was... more>> tag was yaoi and then I remove it becuase there no yaoi aka sex. He has a possessive way toward He Gu with no one else.

I really like He Gu. Hes antisocial just like me that why Song Ju Han like him.


I was shock when He Gu begin to dump Song Ju Han but he wasnt havent it. He tried to win he's love back. Talking about love he didnt understand it until later. It was annoying at the around 40s chapter.


At the end they had a happy ending. <<less
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kisa-chan rated it
September 4, 2019
Status: Completed
it feels so melodramatic... and exhaustingly slow.... I wanted to stop reading at around ch. 35, but I was reluctant since I already came a long way... and then Zhou He Yi, the whirlwind romance, came and I should've just ended it there...

afterwards, it's so bland already.. QwQ I just skimmed throught it all from chapter 59.. I can't take the pacing of the story anymore..
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