I Can’t Be This Protagonist

Description

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Yan Shuang is an old veteran of the Transmigration Bureau. Once he finishes one last book, he’ll be able to make a lump-sum withdrawal of the pension he’s accumulated across various books and live a happily retired life.

There’s good news once he enters the book — He’s the protagonist.

Bad news? — He’s the protagonist of an angsty, dog blood novel.

Before him lay five highly toxic relationship plotlines with the same shou but different gongs.

Scum Gong 1: Master-servant contract with physical and mental abuse aplenty
Scum Gong 2: Carving out one of your kidneys for the white moonlight
Scum Gong 3: Brainwashing/reconditioning shame play
Scum Gong 4: You’re nice but unfortunately not clean enough
Scum Gong 5: Save him and I can marry you

Yan Shuang: He’s eager to retire already, hurry up ba

Associated Names
One entry per line
这主角我当不了
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
Need to Propose to Seven Men What to Do! (4)
Strategy to Capture that Scum Gong (3)
The Scum Shou’s Survival Guide (3)
A Wave of Exes Came Looking for Me. What to Do?! (2)
Everyone Knows I’m a Good Person (2)
Today, the Foolish Scum Gong Screwed Me Over Again (2)
Recommendation Lists
  1. tee-hee bl
  2. BL & Baihe To-Read List - Translations Complete Pt...
  3. BL Harem
  4. BLs that suit my taste
  5. bl characters with various illnesses

Latest Release

Date Group Release
02/05/22 Chrysanthemum Garden c20
02/02/22 Chrysanthemum Garden c19
01/30/22 Chrysanthemum Garden c18
01/26/22 Chrysanthemum Garden c17
01/23/22 Chrysanthemum Garden c16
01/21/22 Chrysanthemum Garden c15
01/21/22 Chrysanthemum Garden c14
01/19/22 Chrysanthemum Garden c13
01/16/22 Chrysanthemum Garden c12
01/12/22 Chrysanthemum Garden c11
01/09/22 Chrysanthemum Garden c10
01/05/22 Chrysanthemum Garden c9
01/04/22 Chrysanthemum Garden c8
12/31/21 Chrysanthemum Garden c7
12/30/21 Chrysanthemum Garden c6
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37 Reviews sorted by


Eueu
Eueu rated it
October 19, 2022
Status: c157
Very addicting. Read this for 2 days straight. If you are looking for an MC who is steadfast at doing their mission even if it means playing around with men, this is for you.

I can't think of any other bl novel with similar plot but did it as well as this novel. Closest is probably scum shou survival guide but this is better.

BG novels that this remind me, Strategy to Capture Men and Professional Stand In. Not similar in plot but similar character of the MC.

... more>> I love it.

As for the 2nd to the last extra

Spoiler

I'm not sure if I got it correctly. The Qin Qing in the mission world got memories of his world in the novel world or maybe just the plot and he somehow found out about the other worlds. So he wanted to take away his younger brother, the poor character that our MC plays. So after they left (idk how), there were 2 vacant characters. Our MC occupied the stand in but the white moonlight also seems to be a combination of our MC's characters in previous transmigrations?

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Edit: I just realized what I read was not the last chapter. It has 4 extra chapters. I was able to find it by searching the chinese novel. It was kind of funny that while I was crying reading the extra about the scum gongs, there were so many p*rny pics at the site lol.

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Errop
Errop rated it
January 9, 2022
Status: Completed
This disappointed me. If the author would normally develop or at least complete the storyline that he threw to us, I would be happy. ... more>>
Spoiler

This was the line between the brothers. I kept waiting for what would happen when they met... I do not advise you to find out. If you still want to, then get ready for disappointment. Although, maybe this is the only way I perceive it.

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From the beginning to the end, I read this story because of this storyline. But, God, how disappointed I was... I, of course, prepared for the fact that this story would bring me a lot of pain, but... I was not ready for such a disappointment... <<less
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ferociousreader
ferociousreader
December 29, 2021
Status: c28
Novel feels like it was written catering to author feelings far more than potential audience. I agree with review above that shou makes scum gongs seem pitiful. But we should be realistic, since it's shou retirement word it's actually normal to treat it as only acting job - hence lack of emotional involvement. Shou stay's professional to the end in his own manipulative way which makes ending interesting (I read the last 10 chapters).

Overall not bad choice if you look for something different but for me not interesting enough to... more>> keep reading. <<less
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hanaya
hanaya rated it
January 27, 2024
Status: Completed
i like it ? Yep I freaking like it. My first novel with the protagonist not being a 'protagonist' but I love it. It all makes sense. Ngl I read lots, and lots of novel but lately just dump them halfway but this one got me hooked, line and sinker. Till the end. Muchos thanks for the author and great work of the translator. Thank you for your hard work. Really took me off from reality
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ZeyFletcher
ZeyFletcher rated it
October 27, 2023
Status: Completed
First of all, here is a big spoiler for the final CP ... more>>
Spoiler

THERE'S NONE!! This spoiler is also in CG's page but I didn't read it huhuh I was surprised towards the ending cause I already feel like there will be no final ML but I'm happy for Yan Shuang

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The plot was interesting, really. This may be the first novel where there's (what I said in the spoiler). It was kind of unexpected because of how many they were but I'm just happy for Yan Shuang. I don't know what to say.. Everything actually did go according to Yan Shuang's plan, Idk what to feel abt it but he's just that good~.

For the characters:
Spoiler

Yan Shuang - 🤠 Our strongest soldier, in terms of heart and kidney HAHAHA idk what to say, he love his retirement so much Cale from TOTCF should learn from him AHHAHA. He so cool, the comments be like 'I wanna be played by YS' AHHAHA those simps. Love him but would want more for him.

Scum Gong 1 - Qin Yubai - This one was probably YS favorite in terms of his contribution to the plot wahahah. It was fun to watch how he changed so much, esp with what he was going to do with the OG. Hmp. It was funny how he kept on fainting AHHAHAA He was also the most expressive out of all the MLs, and of course the most exposure. That brainwashing was really low though tsk tsk, he would have never been the final, if ever there was. He was really rich tho, and he worked real hard for his achievements, he can live happily, lol. It was sad for him how 2 of the people he cares about dies at the same time lol. Again with how expressive he is hahaha esp in the funeral HAHAH. He was probably the richest.

Scum Gong 2 - Ji Yao - every ML was probably jealous of him, because of how YS made it seem he liked JY the most lol. It was sweet in the beginning, but it irritates me how he only did those things with YS bec he looks like Qin Qing, that was a huge No for me, so I didn't really like him that much but it was fun cause he had different locations with YS lol. His father also had a huge change in the OG novel and it was unexpected but it was nicee. His breakdown in the end tho, feel bad for him but he never really treated YS very good though? Like in the first scenes with QYB, he was doing that cause of QQ, with SGM he was being cold actually, he didn't have enough time to show his sweetness to YS. Guess that's why YS said they had the most relationship plot line, cause the OG YS really liked his pretentious ass. I kinda liked the first ending tho where they were all there, at least they suffered simultaneously, but the other end was kind of more realistic. He seems to be the most handsome or good looking ML.

Scum Gong 3 - Qi Feiyun - This man. He didn't live up to his expectations in the novel cause of how YS changed the entire script with him lol. Tho the relationship plot line was shallow, he had the most [redacted] plot line HAHAHA still funny how they got to squeeze that theme with [redacted]. So Qi Feiyun, actually had kind of a potential as the final ML tho, cause he wasn't as bad as the novel cause of how YS started with him. Hmm, I feel bad for the ending with him though, YS died in the place QF believed he has the most control lol. Hmm, the tie ~ 👀. Extreme sports Qi Feiyan HAHAHA hmm, he understood his place and it was kinda sad how the assistant saw how he changed bec of YS and how he probably went back to how he was before after YS left him. The toys in the closet changed lol. His ending was probably changed the most cause he didn't stay in the hospital and was traveling and facing other extreme sports lol. His voice was the best accdg to YS hahaha.

Scum Gong 4 - Sheng Guangming - the only off thing about him is how he reacted with the OG Yan Shuang, but aside from that he is a pretty good guy. Tho he was really impulsive with that marry thing lol, he really be craving that. He was a fun addition cause of his 'heterosexual' and innocent attitude, we got to see how YS would deal with him, and honestly YS was pretty good with him, cause he never fully showed that he was 100% into him, and gave him time to be prepared like you know, have a voice in his said telling him YS doesn't really like him. He was even a good cook and a previous boxer? Smash 🤩. Hmm, he was the last one to get entangled, and I guess I'm happy that he got to have a peaceful end? Like he didn't know about YS death. Let him live his life lol. He def had the best body

Scum Gong 5 - Wei Yichen - alright, I'll say it. I liked him from the very start, I knew he wasn't a good person, but I kinda liked how YS became a bit honest with his attitude in the face of WYC. I also kinda like his butler position hehehe. He was the most pitiful in my opinion cause he was the first one to probably fall in love with the real YS. And he had the lest [redacted] plot points with only 7 HAHAHAHA I think that's the main reason. Oh, the author also emphasized how he was abandoned and all that, he really had a bad backstory but he is also a traitor to his previous employers lol so he was really bad. Hmm, in the end, well ofc I feel bad for him, I'm happy he changed and worked in the orphanage, he's probably the happiest aside from SGM. I like how he was the one who probably understood YS the most, also with the last part where he had a premonition that something would happen to YS and he was actually happy for YS. He also probably felt guilty cause he was the one who found the connection of QQ and YS. He was definitely the most obedient.

The only complain that I have it maybe just a little bit recap on what those scum gongs would've done to the OG Yan Shuang, just to remind how they deserve even a bit of those angst lol, altho YS wasn't really doing it for that purpose, but just for the readers u know, cause we ain't as strong as YS 😭

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This was a unique read, it wasn't exactly fun cause of its genre but it's entertaining. Won't reread cause of the spoiler I said above, I'm not built for that huhu. RECOMMENDED though if you wanna punish scum gongs! <<less
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Adriana28
Adriana28 rated it
July 3, 2023
Status: Completed
its a very nice story.

With a very awesome MC, he could be considered the best one though as he remembered his goal and never faltered.

It was a bit dog blooded and angsty but still I loved it. I won't recommend it to everyone but u should give it a try.

I felt bad for the mls but at the end it was MC's choice.

Thanku author and translators for the hard work.
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honeypiee_67
honeypiee_67 rated it
May 24, 2023
Status: Completed
The translation is almost perfect if it wasn't for some errors. (Thank you for the wonderful translation) The plot is good, the ending is acceptable.

Especially, the dog blood is out of this world.

MC, Yan shuang is detached, cold, precise, cold, smart, lazy, unruly. You can name it.. On the other hand, you can't call him heartless because he'd gone through much and there's clue to that.
Spoiler

With "when he killed the protagonist, he called he system daddy and beg him" or "when he start working, he was scared"

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You can understand why the scum gong can't move his heart, he himself explained it. "If you want to be free, you can't get attached " his professional, work is work and he won't it get on him not let it be his down fall. He also mentioned that whatever the real host had gone through, love and hate, for him is nothing. He don't care because it doesn't concern him as he himself had plenty of things to worry.

He also on crossed some line to say, it also annoyed me on how his "cruel" until I understand that scum gong is really nothing special.
Spoiler

He had became a necromancer (said in the extra, he dealt with a mermaid, dragons. He done fantasy, apocalypse and many more worlds. This typical.. Overbearing CEO plotline can be said a vacation for him.. He also turn off the experience pain so he can't felt pain during [censored] so overall, it was all pleasure and fun.

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I really did pity the scum gongs throughout the end- but they're still cruel.. Like in the first chapter, you can perceive that they will do everything for the person they love
Spoiler

so much that they manipulated him to "give" his kidney and corneas.. So cruel that he volunteered to be the one to disemboweled him in the operating room, the person he [censored] with, all because he- the doctor wasn't confident on others operating HIS beloved. So I wasn't surprised when our cold jin said "Then let him die" all because.. It is foreshadowed when he say.. "There's a big chance that we'll crashed" that his WILLING to die with the person he loved - even if he deny it.. Sure he can be cruel to others if he had to, and if it's for the sake of his love.

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Spoiler

so when he cough blood in the end.. It's like his blood contract.

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So If your looking for some fluff, and love.. Then get off your phone, this novel is not for you. It's full of lemons and vicious laughter. ITS A TRAGEDY. It's all mind games, whomever give in.. Lost- our butler understand it from the start. I cried many times for the sake of scum gongs.. Also our baker guy doesn't deserve all the heartache he experienced but- Like I said, MC is only doing his work. Simple as that but I still pity him.. His such a good and soft guy💔

The author did well on putting emotions on this novel. Great novel, it's worth it to read! I finished this within two and a half days.
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LilacRose
LilacRose rated it
March 20, 2024
Status: Completed
This is the best MC I've come across in the countless novels I've read on this site over the past four years. It's also the first novel that has prompted me to write a comment after lurking on this site for so long. Therefore, I highly recommend everyone who's on the fence about this novel to give it a try!
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Adelene900
Adelene900 rated it
March 12, 2024
Status: Completed
First of all, thank you dear translators for picking up this wonderful novel.

Secondly, this novel is a gem. You can never expect what MC will do next. (He's a scheming B* I tell you) You'll feel pity for the scum gongs. You'll be happy for certain duo. You'll feel bittersweet with the aftermath of the novel.

For now (I haven't found any others with same ending yet) , this is the only novel with ending where MC actually sticks to his OG plan of retiring in richness.

You won't regret this, I... more>> assure you. <<less
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Sixi
Sixi rated it
March 4, 2024
Status: Completed
I just finished reading this and let me tell you, this might've really become my favorite BL novel.

Our MC is such a savage and I'd say both endings really suit him.

I had a great time reading (I was almost giggling nonstop, I swear) and the extras (to be more specific 1 extra) literally made me bawl my eyes out.

I'd recommend it to anyone, who's into Bl and not looking for a serious romance in this book.
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Luouda
Luouda rated it
February 21, 2024
Status: Completed
This book was lowkey so good, sometimes felt bad for the scum gongs, but thats their problems 😂, if u enjoy lots of drama and crying, and revenge, really recommend this book! (Dont feel bad for the gongs, they deserve everything they got! 🙄)
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uhimgood
uhimgood rated it
December 5, 2023
Status: Completed
I didn't think too much while writing this, but my review probably gives away the general outcome of the novel. Read if you don't mind getting that kind of spoiled!

... more>>
Spoiler

What an intensely refreshing villainous protagonist. I would never recommend this to someone looking for a romance novel though, but it really was a breath of fresh air compared to a lot of other stories that rehash the same plots. Would I reread it again though? I don't think so, but this author is very experienced. I couldn't help but pity every single side character and top in the story, the main character's cruelty and apathy knows no bounds. If you really like seeing the development of scum gongs, go ahead! But for those earnestly hoping for the main character's heart to even be just a little moved? Try something else. Don't get your hopes up, it's not a romance novel, just a bunch of guys getting strung around. I did very much enjoy it though! I really hope the author makes a novel where, even if Yan Shuang doesn't fall in love - I think he's aromantic - I do hope we see him make friends.

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itsjustareview
itsjustareview rated it
September 27, 2023
Status: Completed
Definitely a gem!! The MC is the most amazing aspect of this novel, he’s funny and so cunning

The ending is amazing gahhhh, Yan Shuang deserve it alll

There were definitely some loose ends, but hey it’s a dog blood novel anyway so it make sense

I also really want to know more about the original Yan Shuang and Qin Qing

Overall, not a perfect series but very enjoyable to read
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Smtha
Smtha rated it
August 31, 2023
Status: Completed
This is one sick, twisted ride. And I love it. MC is one determined op shou that nothing can stop him from retired and owning a fruit planet!
There's alot of of abuses, twisted games, psychopaths tendencies and lots of (redacted) scenes. And its all about kpi for our MC. Lol

The MLs... they were scums of scums, along the way after re-education by our MC, they becoming a whole lot pitiful puppies. But the original host also so much more pitiful, so I guess there's no right or wrong. Just the plot needed it. For me I enjoyed this very much. Just the ending kinda hanging. (so I wana minus 1/2 star 😅) Pls do read the tags. If you don't like those theme, pls do stay away. Thank you
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DementorBehindYou
DementorBehindYou rated it
June 29, 2023
Status: Completed
4/5

Really enjoyed this one! This the first time I've read a BL transmigration novel where the MC sticks to their beliefs and remains ruthless. I'm not sure I will re-read this but it was like a breath of fresh air and I read the whole thing in 2 days!

Personally, I'm glad I read the spoiler that the translator put up because I think without it I would've read the novel with different expectations and felt cheated.

... more>>
Spoiler

Honestly I do feel a little bad for most of the gongs, MC is damn ruthless. But at the same time MC's actions make total sense and I don't dislike him for the way he went about basically destroying all of them - even if I do pity them.

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Anissia
Anissia rated it
September 26, 2022
Status: Completed
It really was an enjoyable read, totally worth it, every bit of it. I want to thank the author for creating this masterpiece and thank the translators for giving me the chance to read it. This novel is different as it didn't turn to be like all the other somewhat cliché novels about systems and transmigration into worlds of books. The protagonist here didn't have to stick entirely to the original personality and behavior of the character, he's only recquired to portray stricly some vague characteristics the character he's playing,... more>> so while adhering to those characteristics he freely juggles the details of the plot, thou the finality and plot of the book is the same, the way he achieves it is really personalized, the personalized method of executing is what makes it really interesting. Though the personality of the MC is shown throughout, it doesn't interrupt the immersion into the story, the wisdom and experience of the MC is perfectly shown in the way he analyzes the personality of the targeted people and decides the best approach to them, he instantly acts accordingly even in impromtu situations and sometimes makes daring moves to turn it to his advantage, an old fox is what I would describe him as, a really resilient and patient one. The MC in fact seems as though a free, old, somewhat worn though resilient spirit that has seen it all, been through it all, and knows that everything is soon to pass as long as he still has himself in control. Each of the main characters of the novel has their own shortcomings due to their cirmunstances during childhood and due to their upbringing, though that does not excuse the way they treated the original protagonist of the book, they really were in need of someone to reeducate them and set them back to their place, though throughout the story you come to understand them and sympathize with them, I even felt pity towards them and sadness, their story is not entirely an utter tragedy, though it does realitistically give them enough reasons to become who they are. Overall I felt strong melancholy while reading this novel, especially towards the end when most of the pieces of the plot had fallen into place, the characterization of each of the characters is beautifully done, I came to love all of them towards the end, and even felt some pity and sympathy towards them. A reccomended read. <<less
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