The Male Lead Always Want To Kill Me


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When Meng Chu woke up, everyone said that she madly loves Chen Shuguan. Only she knew that this person was the culprit who paralyzed her for half of her life in the future.

Chen Shuguan held an injection: “Meng Chu, come over here. I heard that you were telling people that you don’t love me anymore.”

Meng Chu clutched her naked chest, shrank in the corner of the bed, and shivered: “No, no. I love you to death.”

Chen Shuguan’s eyes flashed under his glasses: “You said you want to die.”

Meng Chu: “…”

Chen Shuguan wanted to kill Meng Chu at first sight. Whether it was by placing her in a formalin container in the laboratory or drying her after sterilization. But later on, he discovered that what he really wanted the most was to f*ck her to death.

Associated Names
One entry per line
The Male Lead Always Wants to Poison Me
Related Series
Not Allowed to Leak a Single Drop (2)
Even If It’s Not Love (1)
Doberman (1)
Destructive Desires (1)
Flowers Are Bait (1)
Sweet Villain (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. R-18 Exciting reads
  2. spicyyyyy
  3. [R18] Naughty girl's list~ (3)
  4. Haven't Read, but I'm Interested!
  5. Twisted R18 Novels [ Obsessive MLs ]

Latest Release

Date Group Release
05/31/22 Faery Translations c89
04/29/22 Faery Translations c88
03/12/22 Faery Translations c87
03/12/22 Faery Translations c86
02/28/22 Faery Translations c85
02/28/22 Faery Translations c84
02/28/22 Faery Translations c83
02/28/22 Faery Translations c82
02/24/22 Faery Translations c81
02/05/22 Faery Translations c80
02/05/22 Faery Translations c79
02/05/22 Faery Translations c78
02/05/22 Faery Translations c77
02/05/22 Faery Translations c76
02/05/22 Faery Translations c75
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7 Reviews

Mar 06, 2021
Status: Completed
I recommend this book to anyone who likes dark and twisted love stories with a satisfying end.

I don’t want to give away too much but briefly:

FL rebirths to her 18 y old self, wants to escape ML who was the cause of all of her sufferings in the past. But they have s*x before she has the opportunity to escape. When FL tried to flee, ML becomes more and more obsessed and starts dreaming about the mistakes he made in his past life. He swears to himself that he won’t... more>> do the same mistakes and tries to find new ways to keep FL.

FL: I quite enjoyed her character, because she was both strong and weak, a perfect representation of being torn between two opposites. For one she remembers her old life and hates the ML and just wants to get away from him, for the other she is forced again and again to be with him and starts to become confused by her feelings for him. She hates herself for it but hates the ML more because he made her like this.
What she had wasn’t Stockholm Syndrom because she is very aware of her feelings and really did not fall in love with the ML again until he changed and treated her the way he should in order to keep her.

ML: TBH you will probably hate the ML In the beginning because he really didn’t care about the FL as long as his needs and wants were fulfilled. He is what I’d define a psychopath. He has no real feelings for anything and anyone. The only reason he is such a successful scientist is because it interests him enough to pass the time. He really didn’t ever experience any fluctuations in his emotions until he met the FL. He tried to retain this object (FL) of his fascination sorely because he wanted to keep this feeling of aliveness. However, because he is a “psychopath” he uses underhanded and hurtful means to to keep the FL close to him. In the end all his effort were done in vain because the FL still despised him. He became so obsessed with the FL that it was almost impossible for him to contain his darkest desires to hurt her. In the end he redeems himself. <<less
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Jul 13, 2021
Status: --
Basically, every terrible stereotype about Chinese sexual tastes, p*rn, and male/ female relationships rolled into one, gross, mostly unsexy, smut fic.

In her first life, at 18 years old, the MC was young, gorgeous, and confident, and set out to seduce the aloof, older chemistry professor who caught her eye. She semi succeeded, and they screwed around for six months, until his indifference bored her and she moved on. She went on to become an A-list movie star, on top of the world, until he showed back up and turned her... more>> into a wheelchair bound paraplegic, like those creepy men who acid attack women. She lost everything.

When she's reborn, it's at the exact moment he first shoved his d*ck in her (literally, during the act). This time, she's terrified of him (because, y'know, he destroyed her legs), so she screams, cries, acts afraid, and fights. This is apparently the magic elixir. Now she's catnip to him. He spends the entire night pretty much raping a crying, floppy doll who keeps saying it hurts, please stop. He can't get enough, and becomes obsessed.

There is a queasiness that comes from realizing the only reason he 'improves' the second time around is because he's a psychopathic sadist, and this time she knows enough and is broken enough to be afraid and hopeless, which is exactly what he likes best.

The s*x is very typical of Chinese tastes, with the overpowering man going at it like a piston for hours with no finesse (the chafing!), the begging/crying virginal girl who never fully likes it, the overemphasis on how delicate, fairy-like and virginal she is, as they keep calling her "little girl" to underscore how young (and did I mention how virginal? Someone has a kink) she is, no matter how many times they do it, etc. Unless you like the p*rn subgenre where the underaged-looking woman does that super annoying fake bunny crying like you're hurting her, you are not going to find this all that hot.

He does not give a flip if she's enjoying herself; She's a s*x toy with a sob track.

Further ruining things are the translated descriptions, which over use such phrases as "meat stick", "lewd water", "flower entrance" and the like. So much cringe. <<less
34 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Dec 26, 2021
Status: c70
It's a decently good romance novel with okay couple, if your in to this type of stuff I am confident you’ll love it more then me.

I miss my therapist.
10 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Jun 08, 2021
Status: Completed
This is such a gem, unexpectedly. No matter how twisted it is. You cannot deny that this is an entertaining novel that would want you to know what the ending will be.

Both the ML and MC are so real. Even how psycho the ML is, you would also pity him.

The ML actually change his name and changed his face just so he can woo the MC again!

Gosh, he is both endearing ans terrifying at the same time. His obssessiveness can really give you the tingles..

Love this!
8 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Feb 09, 2022
Status: c32
The plot is ok. But in real life, if the same thing happens, (ML somehow makes fl's body secrate dopamine, which will give pleasure, near him) it's no different than watching an unwilling girl high on drugs begging her rapist and pleasing him mindlessly. It's Sickening imaginng these kinds of scenes. She was paralyzed for 10 years because ML felt she's too dazzling on stage and he can't Express his love. Even after she commits suicide and gets reborn another worst life waits for her.
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Feb 04, 2022
Status: c71
Read for the smut, stayed for the plot.

Altho I’m not quite sure if I regret reading it or not. Because while I like thrillers, and have a love and hate relationship with angst, I have ✨ depression ✨.

+ I’m total opposite of ML; I empathise too much.

Nonetheless, it’s quite well written and the plot is new to me.

⚠️Contents r*pe and self-h*rm
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Apr 22, 2022
Status: c37
it just full of snu-snu and papapa 😭✊

well so far I didn't feel the yandere vibes too much, it just so so in my yandere taste

the ML really tried to kill the FL wtf 💀 ... more>>

he didn't do that cus he remember his dream which is abt their past memories and he knew what would it be if he really treat her the same way like before


the ML treat her like a s*x toy in my opinion although he slowly got more obsessed with the FL and started to treat her gently

their age gap tho :), ML is a teacher in college and the FL is a student college that have a crush with the ML and always persistently pursuing him

she use her body right? If im not wrong lmao, the ML will have a s*x with her then started to get addicted with her body later they got taken but the FL dump him? And want to marry someone, and the ML killed the FL with a poison? And break her leg, maybe cus I stopped halfway


there's a mention abt the FL leaving the ML in the past life bcus she want to get married to another guy, hmph I got a hunch that maybe the ML killed her cus of that reason

there's an opportunity for him to got jealous but he didn't 😭 so I kinda don't like the yandere vibes lmao it just not thrilling enough for me (so far) <<less
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