Are You Addicted?


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Some people are like a drug, once you get a taste of it, you are forever addicted.

A love story between two young men, from foes to a bickering couple, withstanding 8 years of separation, suffering and surviving hardships together. They are Gu Hai & Bai Luo Yin, in Chinese, when Hai & Luoyin are put together (Hailuoyin = 海洛因) means heroin, a substance that can be very addictive.

There’s a type of person who is like a Heroin. Once you got involved, you can never let it go….

Associated Names
One entry per line
Ni Ya Shangyin Le?
Related Series
Agreement of Being Gay for 30 Days (3)
Otoko Darake no Isekai Trip ~BL wa Okotowari~ (1)
The Reader and Protagonist Definitely Have to Be in True Love (1)
Rebirth: Degenerate S*ave Abuses Tyrant (1)
Lawless Gangster (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. BL InTeresTing
  2. Completed
  4. Personal List Of Novels Read In No Particular Orde...
  5. Slice of Life/School BL Novel

Latest Release

Date Group Release
03/07/19 Sae v2 epilogue 4
03/02/19 Sae v2 epilogue 3
02/28/19 Sae v2 epilogue 2
02/26/19 Sae v2 epilogue 1
02/05/19 Sae v2c106
01/27/19 Sae v2c105
01/22/19 Sae v2c104
01/20/19 Sae v2c103
11/30/18 Sae v2c102
11/08/18 Sae v2c101
11/08/18 Sae v2c100
11/08/18 Sae v2c99
10/31/18 Sae v2c98
10/31/18 Sae v2c97
10/25/18 Sae v2c96
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48 Reviews sorted by

Nocturne rated it
July 26, 2017
Status: v2c12

Greetings you beautiful People,

I was rather interested in reading this novel since it deals with a, let's say, 'delicate topic'. That coupled with modern-day China, I am in.
I was even more surprised to find out that it had even gotten its own Drama adaption. So, It must be good, right? Right? I mean - why would they make a Drama out of it if it wasn't good, right? RIGHT? Well, sadly nowadays everything gets adapted for better or worse.
Anyways, let's get to the main course, the review of the novel, shall we...

The synopsis was rather lacking honestly. I had no idea what to expect. Especially the first few chapters were especially confusing. I had absolutely no idea who was who. I have to admit, it took me to about chapter 20 or so to figure out who the two protagonists truly were. Not the best sign to continue on reading, to be honest. Anyways I continued on, 20 chapters are after all nothing less than 1/10 of the novel.

So, what is the story about? - you might ask...
Well, it's basically about two boys BLY and GU and the hardships they face throughout their student life and later on their relationship. (That's not really a spoiler - the story is pretty clear on that part)
But that was pretty much it. The story doesn't go beyond that.
I really expected more. I don't want to go overly political here, but China - China isn't the best place in regards to the Geneva Conventions. So I thought that the topic, the hardships/fear of finding out to love differently, would be a story worth telling, worth illustrating....

I had held onto my expectations, firmly believing that now, finally something would happen, something - anything that would save this poorly written mess. But it never happened. That was when I realised that the story was not just going nowhere but I was also wasting my time.

The story doesn't offer anything besides its smut moments and absolutely ludicrous 'dramatic' misunderstandings. I've seldom read a couple whose quarrels are not just s*upid but also painful to read. What the heck does the "romance" tag do there, it should be replaced with "two extremely horny teenagers". Their relationship never goes beyond their carnal desire which is fine, but then stay that way. Whoever encouraged the author to also go full 'typical romance troops', should never advice anyone EVER! Where does all that desire even come from... They are after all both straight, somewhat - I guess?
Since the entire story played in China, I expected more of a harsh, prosaic view on the topic.
The fear of not being accepted, the fear of others finding out - the problems, hardships they could face: Maybe even seeking out other people who love the same way, who had to face these challenges, heck, even some strange methods to turn them back 'normal'. This would have been a story worth reading, a story that mirrored reality and not some Fujoshi's dream of two boys 'seemingly' in love.
That and not some abusive/excessive bodily fluid exchange between two immature imbeciles. Especially a certain scene was extremely off-putting for me. There was absolutely no legitimate reason to why it was done.


Rape! Once again we have the usual Stockholm-Syndrome twisted and turned to fit the story. And create some drama and some suspense. It was not just handled badly but GH had no reason to do so. His reasoning is absolutely flawed and makes no sense. Especially when it's later mentioned that he is such a good person compared to his older brother who is the epitome of evil, or so he claims...


I hated all of them.

GH he is extremely selfish and has no sense of empathy or any other human emotion besides his desire to satisfy his own lust. We don't even know how he looks like, all we know is that he has one huge package! Characterization at it's finest.


He would have been better off to die in the car accident. BLY would have actually been able to effing live his life and not be controlled by some unreasonable egomaniac knob


BLY. I found it quite hilarious to read the author to claim him being some clever/intelligent boy when he clearly isn't. Not only do their quarrels outline the fact that his personality is as exiting as watching water evaporate but also does his behaviour not go beyond his own selfishness and stubbornness. How he was able to live to that point is beyond me.
GY. Well, he was only introduced to give some more drama flavour. It's not like the story already had enough of that... *sarcasm*


For him to go as far as trying to kill BLY to save his brother is bullsh*t and makes no sense. He almost let his brother die and it didn't look like he cared much about his brother's situation whatsoever. It was only because of BLY that he did something about his younger brother's situation. So, tell me - why does he want to kill his brother's boyfriend???


The parents. Not much screen time to speak of. We have the bad parent - "You don't understand me, you are evil - I am right", and of course | in contrast | the good parent - "I love you, regardless of what you do." You know, to save some extra exposition. After all to characterise isn't the author's strong suit.
Everyone was more interesting than those to idiots. Heck, even the female teacher who had like six sentences had more depth than the two randy teens.

The Logic
There was none to speak of. If my son was engaging in 'immoral' behaviour, I would cut his allowance and freeze all his accounts. I wouldn't feed him with more money so he can do whatever he pleases and whatnot.
I am pretty sure that the Chinese government works a little different than that. I strongly believe that a person mentioned as important as GH's father would guard his son 24/7 - only to be safe. I mean, you could get some serious ransom for a VIP's son.
I am not too sure myself but I firmly believe that some general couldn't throw his weight around here and there and put pressure on everyone when the real power lies within the party or the Secretary General respectively.


GH's mother's death was something that made no sense whatsoever. I still don't understand why she seemingly committed suicide and how that saved her husband. This was one major plot hole.


Furthermore I found it rather strange that BLY was able to solve this whole incident in a week what others (powerful people) couldn't do with a lot more resources and manpower. (poor writing)
I found the reasons for BLY hating his mother extremely petty and s*upid. How can he expect others to accept him if he doesn't even tolerate his own mother living in happiness? This last aspect actually sums the book up pretty well. They don't accept or tolerate anyone besides themselves. Only their reasoning is correct, only their love is allowed. Nothing else.


It's really not that good. I haven't watched the Drama yet, so I can't say anything about it. But my guess is that it's better than this gibberish of words.

Apart from the smut scenes the story doesn't offer anything else. There is no romance to speak of. Both protagonists are unlikable. I was rather disappointed to say the least, the author should have done her research better and elaborated on more important topics, such as acceptance, struggles, problems etc. Topics the LGBTTIQ community has to face everyday. This could have been so much more, sadly - it wasn't.

Love :) <3

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Reamie rated it
June 3, 2016
Status: c47
The people who rated this novel poorly have clearly never read it. Just because a novel has bl does not mean it it poorly written and not a good story. Wow the h*mophobia is real.

This novel is extremely well written and worth the read. Definitely an emotional roller coaster and just the right amount of comedy. PS- there is also a series which was based off the novel. I highly recommend it. The acting is wonderful and the actors are sure to get your attention.
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Celebration rated it
May 23, 2016
Status: --
People that rated this a one are homophobes. Just saying. It is one thing to ignore bl content, but to go out your way to give bl content negativity shows how much you hate. Just saying. I really love this novel and it expands on the drama. Super sweet, high school sweetheart type story. Love it.
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rhianirory rated it
April 15, 2016
Status: Completed
this was a pretty good novel with a few rather annoying and overly melodramatic moments that made me think the author might have watched too many makjang kdramas in her spare time. Honestly, I liked the beginning and the end but could have done without a lot of the stuff in the middle. Despite it's flaws though, there are some pretty awesome moments and the end is certainly squee worthy. Since I watched the drama first I can't really separate the written characters from the ones I met on screen... more>> and that's not a bad thing since the actors did a really good job, especially for newbies.

the drama was surprisingly good but the Chinese government is apparently afraid of gay content and first censored the hell out of it, then took it down off the web (three episodes from the end) and banned it and the web drama company from airing inside china. Luckily, the company released episodes 13-15 outside the country so the rest of us could see it. They made such a big deal over it that even the two main actors are no longer permitted to stand side by side on stage or have any social contact and it's been years since the show ended. It's completely ridiculous. <<less
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nixxara rated it
September 21, 2017
Status: v2c27
I seriously love this novel, if I could rate this more than 5 stars, I would. The love between the two main characters is so touching. They're both so silly but are also so in love with each other. The way they interact with each other is like tug-o-war, but they treat each other with so much sincerity. They're both like a drug to one another, even if they want to break it off it's impossible because they're addicted! Honestly, they wouldn't even try to separate anyways since both of... more>> them are stubborn and if they love someone, that's that. Nothing's ever going to change it.

The story starts with them meeting when they are only in high-school. You'll follow them on their journey through adolescence and into adulthood. Don't think that just because they are in school that it'll be boring. Actually, the majority of their story happens outside of school and trust me, so many exciting things happen that you can really feel in your heart the bond they will make! The school scenes will allow you to see more of their interaction with their friends and also responses to other people interacting with their beloved. There's jealousy, friendship, loyalty, and also silliness. Another thing that makes this story so exciting is the plot! One is a poor student, the other is the son of a rich military general! The military general's son is a handsome, sturdy guy who's trained in military since childhood but honestly, the MC isn't lacking at all. He's smart, fit, and also super handsome. Anyways...

(Btw, this is not a spoiler but the MC is obviously the poor student. This is a mini spoiler but I think its needed for people unwilling to accept that the MC is in such dire straits: the military general's son chases the MC first!)

There are enough chapters for the readers to actually gain emotion from the various difficulties they go through, not to mention you will also feel extremely happy when they are happy, but also feel sadness when they are sad. This will make you laugh out loud, cry, smile. It's a rollercoaster of emotions but who doesn't like riding them? It's fun. I hope all you people who read this will enjoy as much as I do! Have fun! <<less
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Kian_Roronoa rated it
April 9, 2018
Status: --
This novel stands by it name "Are you addicted?" and yes, I was addicted to the point that I didn't sleep for 50 hours.

This is the first BL novel that I read in one sitting. I read Book 1 and Book 2 just under 50 hours. Some of the scenes are disturbing but the love they have for each other will kinda make you feel jealous.

Bai Han Qi: Best father in BL world.

***Minor Spoiler***

Yang Meng laughing at You Qi's movie premier was hilarious.
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clxndestinely rated it
May 15, 2020
Status: c120
[EDIT: I just found this and would like to warn you guys. Typos. Typos everywhere.]

Before we start, as a girl who's a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I'd like to say that, no, I'm not homophobic.

... more>> The very beginning, 2.0 stars:

There was nothing to judge the book by, really. There were some jokes I found that referenced this story, so I decided to read it. A few times too many chapters for my liking, but I got on with it. Not much impressiveness, but I expected quite a lot, since it was adapted into a series, though it wasn't cancelled...

Plot, 1.5 stars:

In simple terms, though I didn't read much, I got bored rather fast. There were some pointless parts, and, well, most of what I read was Gu Hai getting jealous, throwing a tantrum, messing up, not willing to admit husband mistakes, and forcing Bai Luo Yin to coax him. Overall, the story's about two horny teenage boys (who we cant really visualise, unless we're taking about their shadows) that fall in love? I don't know, it wasn't really romance, because they started liking each other by chapter 50 or so, and nothing really progressed.

Characters, 1.0 star:

Bai Luo Yin, the MC, is a guy who sleeps in class and somehow is smart. Fair enough, since we all secretly want to be like that. He's also incredibly handsome and really popular but cold and aloof, so everyone's scared to get close to him. However, we can't tell that he's popular until some guys says it. It's never to be mentioned again, though. At the start, he says he bears some resentment towards his socially-unmoving father, but we never hear of that again either. Let's not even mention the fact that he somehow does amazing stuff at a young age, attracts weird people, has communication issues, holds a grudge against everyone but the ML, and somehow

forgives Gu Hai not long after getting r*ped by him?

In the overall, though, he isn't that bad of a person, though he seems to lose all of his morals, intelligence, and dignity once ML appears.

Gu Hai is our ML. In my point of view, he's an immature, selfish, obsessive guy with a superiority complex. At the start, when he meets the MC, he likes him instantly and wants to get his attention by prancing him. Fair enough. That is, until he starts damaging the MC's belongings even though he fully knows that MC is incredibly poor. In fact, he talks about it not long before cutting MC's shirt. Then, he feels angry when MC gets back at him and repeatedly makes him pay money, afterwards saying that he'll pay for it instead. Okay, fair. That is, until he starts freeloading in the MCs house, saying that he's broke and homeless, leeching our MC's family's sympathy. Then, he gets jealous and dares to buy the MC a lot of things with all of his money, making the MC feel guilty and as though he needs to make up for it. At one point in the story,

MC gets upset with ML, and the ML kidnaps MC so that he can "claim what's his", basically. As in he almost r*pes MC. Almost. But MC obviously forgives him for that, and ML continues to try relentlessly pursue MC by staying in his house again.

So, in simple terms, the ML's an immature guy who thinks with his d*ck and is not just unreasonable but insane when he's jealous. He also refuses to acknowledge it when he's wrong. He also acts like he uses his own power to protect the MC, but I cannot, for the life of me, see where he got that respect from, so I concluded that, yes, he's just using his father's power.

MC's ex (I don't remember her name) was just a whiny girl who appeared to make the ML jealous and nothing else. She didn't help the MC develop as a character at all. The only reason why

MC was r*ped was because ML wanted to show the ex that he owns MC, which he doesn't.


ML's ex (Jin Lu Lu, I think. She had a weird name) was some girl who gave ML the excuse to seem heroic, just, and valiant, or something like so. She, like the MC's ex, had no other purpose. She was so 2D despite being described as an amazing, feisty, not-so-beautiful girl by the ML, at the start, and all she ended up doing was begging him to stay.

You Qi was supposedly a new friend, but he also only appeared to make the ML jealous. Or, we're told about how much he blows his nose.

Yu Meng was the feminine-faced childhood friend, who's abused by his dad who was bullied for being girly (though, later, the author completely forgets about that and depicts their relationship as one as good as bros) and only appeared to make the ML jealous.

MC's dad (as well as his grandparents, the sweethearts) was a guy who trusted ML over MC, telling husband own son to stop being unreasonable after the ML does something wrong. He didn't even know the story. He's also there to help the MC and ML get together by letting the ML stay at his home for free and stuff. He also unknowingly accepts gifts from the ML, making the MC feel more like he owes the ML his love.

Aunt Zhou, the lady who feeds the Bai family breakfast, basically does the same thing as MC's dad. She also exists so that MC can do something amazing that makes ML jealous because MC did it without his help.

Let's not mention the fact that she has to end up MC's step-mother.

She's nice, though.

MC's stepdad / ML's dad is some narrow-minded powerful guy who abused his son, basically. He's so 2D that you can see the pixels — all he's done so far isn't threaten MC's future and act like a typical rich man. He doesn't appear unless he has to cut off ML so he can get close to the MC, or just to show how terrible of a dad ML grew up with, so the readers can pity him.

MC's mum / ML's step-mum gives off a really fake vibe (as in the green tea ladies. That's all. She also does the typical rich woman act on ML, and tries hard to improve her relationship with her son with no avail,

even sending some Guyana to wreck Ant Zhou's stall, belittle her (saying she stole MC's dad) as well as MC's dad. Sounds complicated, but it isn't. Anyways, they backfired, and she doesn't appear for anything other than strengthen the MC and ML's relationship whilst being a fool to what their "brotherly love" actually is.


So far, those are all the "important" characters.

Readers, 1.5:

As you can tell, the people who've read this story either say it's a 5/5 or a 1/5. I'm the latter, but more people say it's 5/5. If you're going to read it, I advise you not to open the comments, because they're quite infuriating. They laugh at warning signs of a toxic relationship, and get annoyed when you remind them something very important: that ML r*ped the MC.

So, yeah, low ratings. <<less
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addictedso rated it
March 27, 2016
Status: --
In love and addicted to this series and novel!! Love the main leads in this drama - xu weizhou & huang jingyu, brilliant natural actors for first timers in acting, well done!

Thank you so much for the English translations of this novel, love it so much!! Look forward to all the other chapters to come. Addicted fan from UK. Brilliant writer, a beautiful story and beautiful perfect actors, in love with all four main leads!:)))... xxx
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IndusEla rated it
February 2, 2020
Status: --
I've given two stars solely for the excellent beginning. The chemistry between the characters was amazing and sweet as hell, the situation was pretty interesting since it was the first time I came across a setting of step-bro x step-bro where neither of them knew the identity of the other. I do know that it's everywhere, but I read about it for the first time in here.

I fell madly in love after watching the drama. I would have fought anyone who cussed my babies (GH and BLY). I came to... more>> read the novel, utterly bewitched by the drama, and found it to be exactly the same till about chapter 40 (?) - this is where the drama ended, episode 15. After this... The author smoked something weird as f*ck and cursed this novel to utter shit.

I cannot express my regret enough. I want to go back in time and slap my foolish self for even thinking of reading this novel. I should have stopped after the drama. This novel ruined all the expectations I had, it stomped on my love for the characters with contempt. I hate this.

Gu Hai, oh my baby, which as*hole replaced you after chapter 40? Which f*cker? I'm not even kidding, the author completely changed his character to someone crazy. He lost his cuteness by doing what? Raping Bai Lou Yin. Oh my lord, I should have stopped after the drama. I thought it was gonna be cute and sweet and good but the author high on pot completely ruined it. GH r*pes BLY, and BLY forgives him (I can accept this because the author walked us through their patch up and it wasn't too bad).

After this... The novel becomes a shitshow. Drama, fights, anger, there is nothing left of what it was at the beginning. There was nothing left of the characters I fell in love with.

I thought I might get better, so like a freaking idiot not ready to accept that her new favorite drama could have an ending like this, tried to read the second book without finishing the first. I was desperate.

Oh my goodness, I couldn't be more wrong. What the f*ck had possessed me to read that book? It was even f*cking worse than the first one. I'm not even kidding. Both GH & BLY become such immature pricks, picking f*cking fist fights where people can see. Do you realize no adult would do that shit??? I was so freaking embarrassed and frustrated with how both of them became kids rather than maturing, I finally gave up and dropped this novel. The novel became absolutely cluttered with useless drama, misunderstandings, cliche shit, and everything wrong with literature could be found in there. I've never regretted something so much in my entire life.

Don't read this novel. Don't. If you've watched the drama, I can't stress this enough. The characters I fell in love with changed after chapter 40... either the author was forced to write it like that OR he/she has some messed up views of the world. I would never, ever, ever read any of their work again, even on gun point. Never again. <<less
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BellMarsT rated it
March 21, 2019
Status: Completed
I forking finished this novel today, and I am in tears. In tears! This is one of the best novels I've ever read, and believe me, I have read a significant share.

I had this novel on my reading list for months, and I was very apprehensive about reading it due to some of the reviews here that wrote that there was ... more>>


in the book. I finally got to this three days ago, and I was not able to put it down since. I read it until high hours of the night; I read it at work while standing my co-worker's look as they saw me smile, laugh-out-loud, curse, and get angry; I read it in the train; I read it in school, and I read it while sitting in my toilet.

And today, while lying on my bed, I finished, and I am crying like if I just lost my two sons.

I recommend people to read the story. Our dear Chai Jidan created two well flesh-out main characters. She created a story of a couple that struggles for their love. They struggle not only against the cultural values of their society but against the challenges that come with age and youth. The relationships that they had with their parents was very touching and very significant to the overall plot and very moving. I am lying here on my bed thinking about what their future will bring, and I am all smiles.

Now the following part of my review comes with spoilers:


Bai Luo Yin and Gu Hai are united by fate, but what maintains their relationship is their will.


  • Like many other Chinese novels/writers, Chai Jidan's Addicted has details that come off outrageous. For example, Luo Yin becomes a Mayor in the Air Force unit, and he uses the planes as if they are toys, and I could not help but wondered if China has so much money that they would not care to lose so many planes. LOL.
  • Gu Hai is an extremely jealous MC which makes you want to wack him hard. The pattern of his jealousy becomes repetitive as so is the outcome. For example, Luo Yin interacts with a man or woman; Gu Hai gets jealous and punishes Luo Yin usually with a sexual move intended to shame Luo Yin or berates him like "Ah! Do you like her? Would you like for her to kiss you instead? Blah blah..."; Luo Yin would retort back because he is mad and would walk away; Gu Hai would apologize and say something romantic. This pattern repeats again and again and has all the indications of a dysfunctional relationship; however, after they separate gu Hai changes, sure, the change is minute, but it is there. Also, with the way that Chai Jidian describes this, you realize that this is the way that they communicate as a couple. They are both stubborn and proudful men.
  • The r*pe. Yes, Gu Hai r*pes Yu Ling and is disgusting and heartbreaking. I hate when in TV shows, movies, books - you name it!- the victim pardons the abuser. In this story, the way that the reconciliation was handle was neat. Luo Yin went back to Gu Hai because he wanted to give their relationship a chance and as they are together, they learn to forgive each other and to respect each other and let the past remain in the past. It only happens once and does not become a repetitive offense. I feel this scene could have been cut from the story since it was a little bit OOC, but I can see how the circumstances and Gu Hai's personality and mentality pushed him to this. Although, I wanted to pummel him when he did.
  • At the end of the day, the side couples were not fully developed. I was sad about that.


  • The couple. Their relationship grows on you like a bud planted in cow's dung and germinating against the strongest storm to finally become two little flowers dancing with the wind. LOL. This is the first BL where both Male leads topped each other. It was nice to see. I sincerely liked a line in one of the epilogues when they are having sex,
    • " This was merely two individuals linking without neither suppressing the other's mentality as they use their most equal and honest hearts to welcome another aspect of life."
  • The relationship with their parents. Luo Yin's father is the best! I loved how he was so accepting of Gu Hao and his son's relationship. He even suggested and helped them to elope.
  • The grow the characters showed was great. Luo Yin had more grow that Gu Hai.
  • The feeling of being part of the story. In the end, you are going to feel like you walk a long journey. A journey expanding more than ten years as you relished in the youth of this couple and their life as adults. You will wish to have a print copy in your bookshelf. I know I want it!
I really wanted to see more of their lives, but I am not going to be that greedy. I thank the writer, translators, proofreaders, and editors who work in this project. You all deserve a big Hwaiting! And Banzai.

To those reticent readers, I tell them don't judge a book by its cover. You'll definitely fall in love with this. <<less
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izayaYY rated it
April 27, 2019
Status: --
Yes this book is not for everyone. It is about a pair of extreme lovers, a tale of obsessive love and obsessive behaviour. There is a lot of drama but all the conflicts come from outsiders, not within the couple.

For me, GH/BLY is one of the best BL couple, because of their unwavering love and adorable silliness. I love their obsession with each other, their sense of humour and their extreme approach to almost everything. This is what makes them so special.

It is funny how many hated the book. Denigrating... more>> a book genre on the basis of it's tropes is as useless as blaming horror genre for being full of horror tropes. If you are looking for a serious book with a serious plot about the serious struggles of the LGBT... read biographies maybe? ?

This is a work of fiction but also surprisingly comedy, with a lot of slapstick, almost cartoonish humour, common in CJD's novels. I am chinese so I am used to this humour but it seems that chinese humour might be lost on many ?

The first book is just about the blossoming love between the 2MCs, how they met, how they bullied and try to out-smart each other at school, how they fell in love, how they tried to fight those feelings and how they fight family pressure.

Prepare your poor hearts for a harrowing r*pe scene and the heart-breaking ending of book 1. Many say that the r*pe scene is useless but I don't think so. Isn't it coherent with GuHai's extreme personality? But I think it's the separation that is useless or maybe too long


The second book is my favourite as it is the story of their re-encounter 8yrs later. They are now strong, powerful, successful and self-confident adults who can defend themselves against any drama thrown their way. This 2nd book is full of fluff with the usual brand of comedy and silliness. Surrounded with new friends, they now take less bullsh*t from family and try to rebuild their relationship and re-create their little nest, step by step. The 2nd book is the one I re-read often. <<less
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Geetaan rated it
December 25, 2019
Status: Completed
Very ❤️ wrenching and at the same time ❤️ warming story
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Hailoyin rated it
January 2, 2020
Status: Completed
Fantastic, heart wrenching, heartwarming, beautiful, amazing, awesome novel.....
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LNOnlineOtaku rated it
September 29, 2018
Status: --

First of all, I’m not homophonic, I love BL and GL and had great expectations for this. But it didn’t meet ML is a female dog and MC is s*upid and petty. Srsly when I first heard ML ripped out MC’s paper because he liked his handwriting, and admitted and not sorry at all. I was angry to say the least. I’m angry MC didn’t beat him up! Convenient bell-sama just before everything escalates and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. ML cuts holes in MC’s vest..... and MC doesn’t try to get compensation but gets revenge instead.... yea no this was simply *sigh* If people can stomach stuff like that maybe you will like it*

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Reyleisha rated it
February 3, 2021
Status: Completed
Rating: 5/5- one of my first and most memorable modern day BL novels that I will re-read, even though it’s unrealistic and had many very unhealthy situations.

I love this novel, not for its many far fetched scenes, ludicrous scenes or exemplary smutty scenes, but mostly for how unrealistic and dedicated it is to its plot line. Which in my opinion, is about showing how wonderful and s*upid love can be. It’s a work of fiction so far away from reality that it makes it enjoyable.

(Realistically, this plot would land... more>> people in jail and a mental institution. I did not approve of many of the scenes in real life situations, but this is fiction and my opinion below is based solely on that).

Both the MC and ML are just a couple of lovesick idiots but that idiocy and over the top romance made this story really enjoyable for me. If you’re expecting some kind of critically acclaimed plot, you will disappoint yourself. Instead you’re going to find some incredibly crazy and sometimes unbelievable interactions, some completely unacceptable whilst others are far fetched and beautiful in their utter foolishness.

What drove me to love this novel was how much I liked both characters. They aren’t actually very likeable at all but I loved how the author wrote and developed them. I think one reads due to personal preferences and expands tastes based on literature related experiences. This was an experience I thoroughly enjoyed, based solely on feeling. <<less
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du rated it
December 30, 2019
Status: v2 epilogue 4
I tried to watch the drama in 2016, when it came out, but I couldn't finish it at first.

Trying again this year had me hooked, and running straight to the novel, especially since I heard they get married at the end (and that the story is much longer), and there's a lot of relationship development. I had a bit of hesitation ... more>>

because I heard about the car accident GY causes, which disturbed me and turned out to be a very depressing plot device, but let's not talk about GY.


Feelings on the main characters/couple: while BLY and GH are very capable, intelligent, and arguably standoffish, sometimes ruthless to most people, to each other they are very simple, a little bit petty, and rather silly together. They don't have some earth-shattering, galaxy-pursuing aspirations for their relationship. They simply found each other entrancing and were not able to let go of each other. They are both rather extreme people, and as they work through other issues, their relationship becomes comfortable. It brings with it a levity that neither of them would have experienced on their own, and I think that's what sparkles for readers.

NSYL? is written as two books. The first book follows BLY and GH's adventures through high school, and is largely slice of life, with some major drama later on. The second book is an explosive and relatively fast-paced military, corporate, and domestic drama.


Particularly military, as BLY's status at the beginning of the book is as an Air Force lieutenant. There's actually a lot of military, in particular, Air Force, knowledge (dramatized, of course), and is probably fairly well-researched.


what I loved

The essence of what I love about the second book is that after years of separation, the two of them are once again drawn together, this time as independent, established adults, and as equals more than ever before. There's some weird plot shenanigans


with GY again, don't really like the way GY is used in the narrative,

but their devoted relationship where neither can ever let go, really shines through.

In addition to this, CJD's ability to dig into dynamics is very engaging. BLY and his father, Auntie Zhou, GH and his various friends, his father, and BLY's mother. In particular the extreme, unreasonably devoted, not-co-dependent-but-definitely-pretending-to-be adventure that constitutes BLY and GH's relationship is something hard to look away from.

One of the other big appeals I found of this novel was the localization. The way they speak and eat is very Beijing style, which is where the story is set, and for me it was a very fresh experience (I learned a lot of vocabulary). CJD is also fantastic with depicting and getting into the military, Air Force environment that becomes a central setting in book two. Not so much the corporate side, but the military things were fairly well written.

Some issues I had with this novel:


I would not really consider Chai Jidan to be the best at writing a tight-knit plot or developing side characters. There are a number of characters that are used like tissue paper; once or twice and then thrown away and forgotten.


There were a couple plot holes, and moments where I just kept reading and thought to myself ???? why is this here?

One issue I had the thread of GH's attempted matchmaking is never followed through to the end! That's probably what I longed for the most from CJD when I finished this novel. Author made me invested in a straight ship with two side characters, developed both characters and their conflicts, and then cut it off! Wish it was continued in the extras, but alas...

There's a certain amount of toxic masculinity (and heteronormativity). The more extreme toxicity (from GH's father) is dealt with. However, there is

a rather low level amount, that is not really dealt with. It does make sense given their characters.

For the heteronormativity... well. On the grand scale there's not too much of it. Frankly I think that CJD wished for a less hostile world, and created that fantasy, rather than have every single modern-setting gay romance have that kind of social suffering.

*I won't make a comment on the quality of the translation as I read the raws.


background/additional information on reading

One of the parts I feel like is difficult for some people to read about (I had some discomfort the first time I watched) is the poverty of the setting. BLY and his family live in very poor neighborhood of Beijing, and life is really difficult and inconvenient at times. This is really an important part of BLY's background, and essential to understanding GH's behavior.

Another thing that might be difficult for some readers is not understanding the context of modern Chinese society. There's really too much to say, but at the bare minimum, if you're unfamiliar, know that government and military officials can, in fact, do almost anything. Everyone knowing it is part of the game.



BLY: some reviewers say it's unrealistic for someone who's supposed to be so smart be so petty and ridiculous. I'd say, you clearly haven't been around enough of these so-called geniuses, rip. Their minds work incredibly fast but sometimes their other qualities are lacking. Honestly, it's kind of disgusting to be around some of them.

While I enjoy the fact that he's one of those infuriatingly lazy and smart people and that he has a m


o personality, I'm a little frustrated the the author keeps sticking gold on his face. He's also super pretty and btw he can sing well and has athletic genes and has a nice voice- really? It's a bit too much. Personally, I feel like repeated attention drawn to his top tier beauty really distract readers away from other elements of his character.

For example, one of his most important characteristics, his determination and devotion. Sometimes it comes out as stubbornness, but BLY is a guy who truly loves deeply and quietly. Once he has accepted you as someone he loves, he will do anything in his power to protect and help you. This is demonstrated in his love for his family and later, for GH (and also his step-mother, who tries to treat him as her own).


To give a couple examples:

BLY is willing to give up his budding relationship with GH for his father's comfort, thinking that GH being BLY's mother's step-son would make BLY's father sad.

Later on when he's accepted GH, he is willing to give up his top tier college acceptances and personal safety to join the military, to spare GH from his father.

GH: he is not just a fu'erdai, he's a guanerdai. For those of you who are unfamiliar, essentially this means he's a higher-ranking military brat. This makes life so incredibly difficult for both GH and BLY. In fact, this picture is probably better than what would be possible in modern day China, if only because GH is an only child.

This is actually a dangerously close struggle, and if he had a brother, perhaps his father would have had him killed.


GH is also one of those determined a**holes who loves deeply, and will do anything to protect the people he cares about. This includes... uh... himself, BLY, and to an extent GY.

GH truly considers GY his brother (tangge = cousin), and shows a measure of consideration/affection for him, hesitating in any of his acts against GY throughout the story. The only thing that drives him to oppose GY at any point is BLY's safety and well-being.


Growing up in a military outpost and as a guanerdai has given him a number of things. Major family issues, abandonment issues, physical skill and mental endurance, determination to keep his word no matter how challenging he makes it, as well as a domineering mask he puts on to deal with people.

While people (particularly of the drama) frequently and repeatedly write him off as a terrible, forceful, and violent abuser, but that is not a very accurate assessment. GH is aggressive and domineering. He is possessive and jealous, committing some terrible things out of ignorance, only to regret it afterwards and attempt to make it up. However the total duration of this is short and incidental, and this is only a small portion of what he is to people he cares about.

What he mostly is to people he cares about is dependable and caring; regardless of whether both parties are playing mind games or not, he will be there to help in some capacity. To BLY specifically, he is a sticky, nagging, and overindulgent husband, a man who will do anything and everything for the person he's decided to give his life to. Similarly, BLY gives over parts of himself he usually hides away to GH, and enjoys being loved and pampered (although he's still mulish about it).

GH is fascinating because he is both incredibly smart and emotionally intelligent. He's extremely sharp and fast-thinking, and would probably be well-suited to both the military and politics, although he chooses to pursue neither.



In short, this is a very engaging read with characters that might not be considered healthy, in a relationship that's not exactly the typical peak romance. CJD has written a vivacious coming of age and reunion novel!

There's a bit lacking if you're looking for a really well-written novel, but there are so many other engaging elements, and the characters are fun because of how insane they all are.

Overall, I would rate this a 4!

Note on realism:

  • Someone mentioned that neither of the MC are realistic... and it's true to a degree. But the people who sleep in class and still get top scores... I personally know two of them. Although one of them played farmville instead. Ew. There's not much they can do when your answers in class are perfect. I also found a number of forums where people discussed that their relationship reflects the relationships of people they know irl (mlm), so I assume that CJD managed to capture human inanity. If you disregarded the plot holes, I'd honestly consider it akin to Jane Austen-- capturing the somewhat unpleasant realism of humans... which only impresses those in the know :/
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pinkumilkuu rated it
May 20, 2019
Status: Completed
I'm sorry, this is a biased rating. I consider this my first BL novel (okay, feng yu jiu tian was first but I only read like 13 chaps) so I kinda imprinted on it and forgave every ugly/absurd scene this had. I won't ever regret reading it and it will still stay as one of my faves even tho there are lots that're better.
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Redroses__ rated it
March 24, 2019
Status: Completed
For me, this novel is downright unrealistic. It was full of petty fights, jealousies, and smut. However, it also feeds my ideal BL Fantasy. At the end of the novel, you can't help but say, "I wish I have a boyfriend like Gu Hai." Seriously seriously seriously Bai Luo Yin and Gu Hai are both dreamy that even if you know they won't exist in real life it's fine.
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kumastories rated it
April 2, 2018
Status: Completed
The plot is awesome, the characters as well. This story is basically about two boys growing together in rural (ish) China all the way to adulthood.

I am not sure why there's so much negative review but probably since I read more than half of it in the original language I was able to better appreciate the nuances that are lost in translation.

Give this a try for all those who love taboo romance. I don't think you will regret it.
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cutiejoongie rated it
January 25, 2018
Status: v2c11
First time I watch the drama I became addicted. It's so good film with not only smut but also good story, great actors and natural acting.. And It's really heartbreaking when it's must discontiued because all homophobes people!!! I'm so hurt!!!! Well... I'm so thankful for this translation. Hope I can see the ending now...

It's still hurt the drama can't continue... But that is life.

So, . Are you addicted? Definitely
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