You’ve Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale


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The Peng Society for Gentlemen — a secret friend-making club for the homosexual men of the Great Xia Dynasty. Its services were designed to help its members along in their quest for their lifelong partners. Upon paying a monthly fee of fifty coins, members could get themselves listed in The Pengornisseur after providing a self-portrait, a mailing address, their age and hobbies, as well as a self-introduction. All members would receive a copy of the monthly publication, and they could communicate with one another in private using the information in The Pengornisseur.

Wu Xingzi, a bachelor about to turn forty, worked as the adviser to the magistrate in Qingcheng County.

Qingcheng County was a place with barely any resources. In other words, it was poor. In the list of counties of the Great Xia Dynasty, it had been ranked at the bottom for the past two hundred years.

Wu Xingzi felt that his life was hopeless: not only was he a homosexual, he was also a virgin. Even his retirement fund was lacking. Worse still, his looks were… forgettable.

He might as well die.

Hence, Wu Xingzi decided to commit suicide on his fortieth birthday. However, he was unwilling to remain a virgin to death! And so, gritting his teeth, he joined the Peng Society for Gentlemen and received The Pengornisseur. It was very painful; after all, fifty coins were the sum of his daily expenditure for ten days! He would only pay it once, and he was determined to succeed on his first try.

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Related Series
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Date Group Release
02/24/20 BlackBoxTL c53
02/17/20 BlackBoxTL c52
02/10/20 BlackBoxTL c51
02/03/20 BlackBoxTL c50
01/27/20 BlackBoxTL c49
01/20/20 BlackBoxTL c48
01/13/20 BlackBoxTL c47
01/05/20 BlackBoxTL c46
12/30/19 BlackBoxTL c45
12/23/19 BlackBoxTL c44
12/16/19 BlackBoxTL c43
12/09/19 BlackBoxTL c42
12/02/19 BlackBoxTL c41
11/25/19 BlackBoxTL c40
11/18/19 BlackBoxTL c39
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21 Reviews sorted by

New stardustmist rated it
February 21, 2020
Status: c52
I wasn't expecting such deep emotions while reading it, I felt so relatable while reading it and it made me super sad. I cried several times cause the MC was just so lonely and had given up his pursuit of happiness. He's just so alienated from the worldly affairs and only wants to have some fun before he returns to his gravesite.

The MC is average, doesn't have high status and there is nothing so special about him....... that's what he thinks, however, he's adorable, funny and I love how he... more>> is independent and simple minded. It's very refreshing to have an average MC with whom we can relate and connect to.

Not gonna lie, didn't like the ML at first, he's a douche. But it changes so I'm loving it~

The relationship between MC and ML isn't what it seems, they slowly develop their relationship and I truly love that. The ML liking him, doting on him and thinking about his safety isn't rushed. Yes, you can fall in love within a second, but I loved how the ML slowly changes his attitude towards the MC. It's endearing and worth reading.

The MC is very much dense and it's understandable why. The translator did an amazing job with this story and I can't stop thinking about this. The story just grips right at your heart and you will still love it haha. <<less
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New moonbeam00 rated it
February 8, 2020
Status: c50
Aahh... this story is one of a touching story. I really love the MC. You can't help but feel your heart being squeeze with MC's characters. Gentle yet so strong, have many disadvantages but never one who begs pity from others. I like how MC and ML are so realistic. MC didn't even think he could catch a man like ML. And how the development of ML character is so natural. He loved other man for years before he met MC, and ofc it's only natural he didn't suddenly forget... more>> that 'love' as soon as he met his new love interest. But we can read through the story how his feeling gradually grows for MC (the one he truly loves). And this story is so funny. I truly enjoy reading this. Even though I have read through the direct raw translation (my head dizzy with the many inaccuracies), I still wait this proper translation to finish. Thank you for the translator. <<less
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Chiaroscuro rated it
February 15, 2019
Status: c40
WARNING: This story contains graphicly gratuitous smut (*_*) and all kinds of play. Nosebleed ahead.

This story is about a lonely and ordinary 39 y.o ahjussi (but with dem asian genes he doesn't look that old obv) who lived such a boring and ordinary life that he planned suicide on his 40th bday. He already picked this graveyard and all. BUT this ahjussi is a 39 Years old VIRGIN GAY. So he be like I WANNA BE YOLO AND CONFESS. Shenanigans ensued and in the end he find out ANCIENT STYLE... more>> GRINDR with pigeons and all.

MC: MC IS ADORABLE Y'ALL MUST PROTECT. He realised he's ordinary and although he still lament he accepted his ordinariness. He's very realistic, naive, humble, and very very adorable and cute skskssjsksk. He described himself as a frog inside of a well. Oh, he's also a foodie. Food eclipsed everything infront of him. Esp when he's hungry. Which makes some scenes hilarious (it should be a cliche scene but because he's focusing on food he barely understand what happened)

ML: he is a dominant through and thorough. At first you will hate him, but as the story moves along you'll like him. (Give him chances ok)

The thing I love about this story is that it's realistic. Forget those badly written plot and smut. Although the story itself contains 60-70% smut and 30-40% plot, it's very good. You can see how the author write from the first chapter. This story gave me a feeling of "Novel" instead of online novels. Well written scenes, character with motives and drives that we can relate or understand, and it doesn't feel juvenile.

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Celissiye rated it
February 17, 2019
Status: Completed
I have gone and MTLed, the story was not as cheesy as I expected, a good read. Some drama, a bit of angst, lots of comedy, some character progression. For example, a scene will start under a veil of comedy but suddenly MC thinks something extremely depressing.

Of course there is smut, but it isn't like the 'imprisonment yandere ML' sh*t that happens all the time. Basically two guys hook up for different reasons via a magical pigeon system, all s*x is consensual. And most importantly, it felt like that the... more>> characters had a relationship and personality outside of the smut that turned out to be very precious. The smut was part of the story but not the be all end all.

The most enjoyable part of the story to me was the middle, watching both MC and ML slowly progress, as when we start this story, both characters are very jaded.

The first 50 or so chapters are pretty lighthearted and comical, drama and politics erupts in the last half of the book, along with a lower number of s*x scenes. I honestly thought that part dragged a little (maybe b/c I can't understand the MTL as well?!) and could have been shortened. Also, when I say 'drama', I don't mean that characters are suddenly at knife point or stabbed or kidnapped, in the book some exaggerated scenes happen, for example a slap here or there or some low down ultra salty conversations, but not really the violent and random events you get in some other stories. The concept of suicide, mentioned in the first chapter, is briefly brought up and resolved later, but isn't really a major point of importance in the story.


The ML seems like trash because it is soon revealed that MC is just being used as a replacement, but, MC also was not looking for lingering affections and was only interested in s*x at the start. Both parties had to come around and should be regarded as two humans that have a hard time sorting out lingering feelings and coming to terms with their new emotions.


The antagonists in the story are slimy enough but not entirely evil per say. A couple of the side characters were interesting but they don't stand out a lot, mostly there to support MC or ML.

Certainly for those who like a dedicated and caring ML that pampers MC, along with a MC that is older, innocent but blunt with words. MC also has an odd obsession with food and 'pengpengs'. It's hilarious. Other than how much character improvement he got, the ML didn't stand out very much to me. The dynamic between the MC and ML sort of reminded me of "Spring Trees and Sunset Clouds".

..a shou MC that is young, beautiful, and seductive is common, I love seeing a 40 yr old MC that is describes as slightly awkward, not particularly beautiful, but cute in his own way.


I have to admit, my favorite part is still the first half of the novel, where no matter what ML did, MC was like "This was supposed to be a one night stand..." in his head. Thoroughly eating snacks while other people baffle that he ignored the insults they spouted.


-of note, the translation is excellent and the writing itself is fun and more descriptive than other novels. As for the smut, seems pretty detailed. <<less
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SublimiSomnium rated it
March 15, 2019
Status: Completed
Great for the protagonist and the really steamy smut. Everything else (the ML, side characters, setting, etc...) is pretty much what you would expect, except for the nice twist of the pigeon mail society. What makes the story refreshing is how the MC responds to the ML's OPness - don't want to spoil anything but it is refreshingly modern and mature.

Want to emphasize the MC is MATURE. As in, he is in control of his emotions and takes initiative to communicate effectively, which in turn tends to deflate the nonsensical... more>> drama that plagues typical romance light novels. And yet, the author is also capable of nosebleed-inducing s*x scenes. Highly recommend to fans of the BL genre! <<less
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byunnie rated it
March 30, 2019
Status: Completed
This is one of the best BL I've ever read. The MC is very rational and mature, he thinks of their relationship as purely fob because he can't ever see someone like ML "settling" for a small advisor like him which drives the ML insane. The little drama that exists is handled quickly and efficiently by the MC and ml.

Their relationship is very cute and you can see how much they love and respect each other.

And the ML didn't get played by the teacher the entire time. He KNEW but... more>> he let it go because for him he could forgive anything as long as he himself still liked the other person.

I'm especially happy that there was no rapey elements. There were tons of situations where the rapey elements could come into play but the ML always put mc's consent first and I really liked that. A+

Mr lu's end was way better than he deserved



I really loved their little talk the night before Mr Lu's wedding, the way they just opened up to each other and the ML calling himself stupid for ever thinking the mc's idiotic expressions ruin Mr Lu's shadow

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dakimakura_funds rated it
June 4, 2019
Status: c15
the entire concept of ancient chinese grindr is absolutely mind-blowing. I adore it. The fact that dangalangs are referred to as "pengornises" is just the cherry on top. 10/10 MC is absolutely adorable, I love him. ML is not doing too hot where im at, but he'll get better apparently, so im looking forward to it.
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December 27, 2019
Status: c38
Wu Xingzi our MC is beyond adorable. It was quite delightful reading how this honest and shy virginal man starts his sexual journey at a ripe age of 40 with the help of the Peng Society. For a sweet man like WXZ, I very much wished he met someone that wasn't so outstanding, someone utterly ordinary who can give him the warmth and love that he's been longing for.

Alas, WXZ caught the eye of ML Shan Guan Jin for bearing slight likeness to Mr Lu, his unattainable and lofty white... more>> moonlight. SGJ whisked WXZ away from his mundane life and introduced a world of incomparable physical pleasure and torment. How SGJ regards WXZ is surmised by the following phrase from the story,


Dressed in light colours, Wu Xingzi looked refined and graceful, tranquil and content. If Mr. Lu was the soft and luminous moonlight, Wu Xingzi would be the brook reflecting the moonlight. Guan Shanjin was unable to obtain the moon in the sky, but he could pick up the reflection in the water. As such, he tightened his arms, embracing the person within tightly.


I initially worry that the seemingly gentle lamb like WXZ would be undoubtedly eaten clean by the wolf SGJ. But fear not, WXZ has SGJ wrapped around his fingers tightly and he doesn't even know it. Looking forward to see how this drama unfolds in the latter part. I do hope that it doesn't turn too angsty. <<less
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Illisaide rated it
September 2, 2019
Status: c27
I came in expecting comedic smut. Not feels. And to be fair, most of it did revolve around it (don’t expect a deep and profound plot), but I legitimately cried reading the latest chapters.

Reading the reviews, I expected a typical dense, overly naive and scummy MC. The type we see so so often in these novels. What I got was a realistic man who has been hurt so bad in his past that he has pretty much given up on life, purposely turning a blind eye towards many things to... more>> avoid being hurt again. In these stories, we often see MCs trying to improve — to gain more power, think more cleverly, to toughen up in order to push everyone else down and take revenge — using stuff like “there’s a fine line between love and hate” to justify themselves. Basically acting like true love could be simply thrown away when reality is too hard to bear, just. like. that. (How could it be called love then?! Isn’t it just possessive obsession?) But I relate more to the MC who,

even knowing about the betrayal, still loves anyway. Unable to stop and tearing himself apart over time because of it.

And because of this perspective, I’ll be darned if I look at a “frog in a well” the same way again.

... No comment on the ML — he’s pretty much as described in the other reviews so far. I do like the peeks into the consequences of his actions though. Most of the other novels I’ve read had the consequences hand-waved away and justified because “it’s the ML — he’s a scum with a heart of gold, ” or “he did it for love, ” or “you have to make some hard decisions when you’re at the top.” So it's kinda nice to see a scum actually being portrayed as a scum.

Supporting characters... how to put it? ((⇀‸↼)) Well, it’s true that their stories and motives aren’t really as fleshed-out as could be, but their actions and thoughts during the events characterizes them pretty well. I especially like the local Pengornisseur’s manager. He’s sort of like those scheming, money grubbing businessmen you see so often, but he’s also human in a way I’ve never seen before in these sorts of characters.

But yeah, if you’re looking for something deep and profound, something other than unrealistic (but hot) smut here, you’re probably going to be disappointed. <<less
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xblkdragonx rated it
July 3, 2019
Status: Completed
I blasted through the novel in 2 days. While it drags a tiny bit 1/3 into the novel, it wasn't dentrimental to the overall pacing of the story.

This is first and foremost a smut novel with good plot.

The MC is adorable but he's not a mindless idiot. The other characters often underestimate him, but they're all left spitting blood bc the MC is really that genuine. The MC is very clear who he is and where he stands in life. Most of the time, this is the MC's core strength... more>> in his character. However, this also can be a bad trait bc he's so sure of who he is and what he's worth, that it's difficult for him to change his mind. I like that this MC might seem like a white lotus, but he's very human with human flaws.

I also liked the ML. Sure, it starts off a little shaky, but the ML nerve forces, never rapes the MC. This is 100% from the get go. The ML seems like a rough and possessive lover, but from the very start he pampers and is sweet with the MC. It's acknowledged, while the ML is with a lover, he'll dote on them. When he gets bored, he'll dump them quickly and his adore cools. ML expects to do the same with MC, but the ML is the one that becomes sticky. The ML is clingy but not overbearing.

Overall, while there's some small misunderstanding, the relationship these two develop is a very mature relationship. They actually communicate and talk! <<less
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ylial rated it
October 18, 2019
Status: --
The story is fun and entertaining to read. The smex scenes are also detailed, starting fr ch7 (if I remember correctly). If u'r looking for smut, this one is good. Will probably drop soon since I want a story with depth.

I really love the MC, though I couldn't imagine a 40y/o shou at first in danmei novel. But you will really like him although he's kinda timid. No matter what form of insult/malice the ML (indirectly) and the people around the ML did to MC, the MC was just... more>> chill (ignorance is really bliss). Ahaha serves the ML right, like punching into a cotton-Ch19, favorite ch so far.

For the ML... hmm.. his character is appropriate with the story. In my personal opinion, he's a scum. Since he could not get the person he liked he played with many people, including the MC, and MC was just a replacement for someone. Good thing, the MC is a pengornis lover so ML's plan failed. I also dislike how the ML tortured the MC emotionally. He's possessive yet he doesn't even like the MC, just his pride. <<less
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darlingv rated it
June 26, 2019
Status: Completed
This is the modern tale of hookup to true love told in ancient times. The way the author slowly unfolds MC's character is what makes this story such a great one. In fact, MC is probably one of my favorite characters of all time despite not being particularly special. He looks average, leads an average life, is kind, simple but not naive. It's really such a joy to peel back the layers and get to know such a sweet, lovable MC.

The only setback for me was the smut. Because their... more>> relationship stems from a physical one in the beginning, the smut makes up an important part of the novel. However, I personally prefer smut scenes that are more tastefully done. Some elements are physically impossible, and overall, it felt rather crude. But, I get that it's a personal preference and some readers might enjoy it.

The relationship between MC and ML develops in a manner that feels natural and smooth. There isn't any unnecessary angst and misunderstandings are well solved. I really do think that if the smut puts you off like it did for me, skipping some of it doesn't impact the overall story. All in all, this is a story of an unexpected but beautiful romance that will make its way into your heart! <<less
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December 8, 2019
Status: Completed
It's the best!

What best?


    • Smut (nose bleed...)
    • Plot
    • Light drama at twist
    • Excitement
    • Uniqueness
As for how?

Please read it.

Don't want to tell spoiler.


I Bing read it for 3 days...

It's only 106 chapter but with many disturbances it took me three days plus I Google translate it so slow.

I will patiently wait for updates and read the translated version in novelupdate too.

I'm the type to r-read my favorites 100x... Lol
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Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild rated it
August 14, 2019
Status: c25
So far its been very funny. And very smutty.

... more>>

The MC is Wu Xingzi a man who is more in love with porn and Mr D (his s*x toy) than he is the ML. The ML (named Guan Shanjin) is using Wu Xingzi as the latest replacement for his true love. Guan Shanjin has broken dozens of hearts by pretending to love men that remind him of his true love named Mr Lu. He eventually gets bored with them and cruely dumps them. Guan Shanjin is rather peeved to find out that the only thing Wu Xingzi loves about Guan Shanjin is his formidable-sized PengPeng.... and nothing else. Guan Shanjin's ego being what it is he can't stand the idea of Wu Xingzi not falling for him like all his other victims and does his best to make Wu Xingzi fall in love with him. Wu Xingzi remains devoted to his dic mag The Pengornisseur

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Meow4meow rated it
July 9, 2019
Status: Completed
I was excited to read this at first because of all the good reviews. But it just goes to show that you cant judge a book by reviews alone. I tried it and I hate it, I literally feel like I wasted my time reading this. First of all the MC is portrayed as this shy, down to earth and lonely guy. Which is true except for the part where he is also a coward, painfully so to the point of being spineless. And stupid to the point where everyone... more>> had to update him on what exactly was going on. The ML left a sour taste in my mouth. I mean the guy is supposed to be this badass fearsome general but got played by his teacher for years, like he didn't even get a clue until like 3 months before his teacher got married. And the fact that the author kept bringing up all these unimportant people towards the end of the book despite the ML and MC not quite hashing out all the problems in their relationship made me even more upset <<less
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Zigenbunny rated it
November 27, 2019
Status: c40
Absolutely love this story! MC is super interesting and different from your typical shou. I don't know if his age plays any part on his personality but I doubt it does since he doesn't seem to want to change until he finally feels like he doesn't have anything to live for anymore which is very sad.

About the ML... yes he is scum for using replacements. But he's the type scum that I like to read about who will end up changing their ways lol. He gets oh so ansty! My... more>> heart wrenches for him every time he feels conflicted about his feelings due to MC doing things that he doesn't even know is having an affect on ML because he's just living his life hehe. I've been looking for a story like this for a long time! And it is very well written.

I really appreciate that it is a published novel instead of a web novel. At least from what I can see from the translated side, just the words, flow and how everything is presented is very neat and concise. Not too rushed or feel choppy. Basically, it's probably gone through a lot of editing and is well presented. It definitely hit all my sweet spots and I'm loving every page! <<less
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Aidel00 rated it
November 11, 2019
Status: c38
It's too funny,

MC is really a down to earth person,

he's completely clueless about ML feelings and keeps on abusing him unknowingly.

... more>> ML pride had reached the sky only for the MC to stomp on it innocently.

ML though he was the top of the world but only his downstairs tool was venerated by MC.

ML gradually realizes his value in MC eyes and pukes blood left and right.

Really satisfying abuse of scum gong, was laughing evilly all the time, rest of the time blushing madly...

MC is a huge, shameless pervert inside (can totally relate and love him because of this).

Can be summed up like this:


The shou is bulling the scum gong by favoring the drawings of penises of others and treating them as treasures, the gong is dying by sprouting blood while the shou looks at him confused.


It's not just smut, it's both rolling in bed and on the floor laughing.

Absolutely recommended- <<less
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fakeluff rated it
February 3, 2020
Status: Completed
I didn't expect to cry because of this smutty novel, but I did, and more than once. Wu Xingzi will burrow his hapless way into your heart and Guan Shanjin will brashly melt whatever's left untouched. They each have to sort their pasts out before they have a real future together, but it's worth all the (at times extremely wet) entangling, (at times rather angsty) detangling, and (at times, squeezed dry) entangling again as they get there. Wish Hei'er and the P Society Boss had more scenes together!!!
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Akachxi rated it
September 24, 2019
Status: Completed
Its a nice, fun story with not a lot of the dog blood drama you usually get in period novels. There is some, mostly in the later half of the novel. The translator does a real good job at translating and the footnotes were very helpful. I sorta half MTL-ed and half-assed though the rest of the novel. Mainly skimming through the smut because it gets kinda repetitive and its very hard for me to understand with my subpar chinese lol.

I felt like it could've been a longer more complex... more>> story but I was fine with how it ended. The compactness of it was quite nice as well. The ending was, hmm, it was nicely wrapped up.

BUT, it kinda irked me how they didn't mention Mr Lu AT ALL in the last twenty or so chapters, all the way until the LAST CHAPTER did he reappear again and they dealt with him accordingly. Like, he was the main sorta antagonist in the first arc and sub-antag in the second arc, but the practically made no appearances unless someone mentioned him in passing. There were a few things I couldn't really believe too, such as the mission impossible-esque face masks, actually, its mainly the face masks. Leeway bc its fiction but yeah, face masks.


After finishing the novel, I still can't say I like the ML purely bc his personality is kinda cliche but don't let that deter you from reading the novel. I have a thing for the older shou's and also the holy saint type characters so I enjoyed reading the MC's parts of the novel.

MC was what kept me struggling through the last 20 chapters cause things REALLY slowed down after they went to the capital. I was struggling to finish the novel too bc it was mostly some politics in the end and not much else.


Aanyyyway, its short and it wrapped up nicely, the translation is spot-on. Read it for smut and fluff. <<less
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quivo rated it
September 2, 2019
Status: c28
This... how do I describe how much I love this? It's such a magnificently frivolous story. I love the MC, and how his main desire up till now has been how to to eat well and how to safeguard his pornographic pen*s drawings. I've grown fond of watching the arrogant ML's increasing, irrational jealousy as he unknowingly falls for the silly older MC. I love the fact that though there are scheming third parties and people who want to put down the MC for 'interfering' in the ML's tragic love... more>> situation, 99% of their machinations end up going nowhere because the MC, as I said, only cares about eating good food and protecting his precious porn.

As for the sex, it is unrealistic and kinky as hell. I.e. exactly what the doctor ordered, for me at least. You'll know if it works for you by the time MC and ML meet up to bone for the first time. 10/10 would read again. <<less
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Cerenium rated it
July 2, 2019
Status: c19
The smut is a bit heavy in the kink area, but that's a matter of taste.

The story telling reads smoothly and the characters feel real, like there's the posibility of something more going on.

The plot's just starting up at this point, so it's hard to say how it'll unfold in the end.
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