You’ve Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale

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The Peng Society for Gentlemen — a secret friend-making club for the homosexual men of the Great Xia Dynasty. Its services were designed to help its members along in their quest for their lifelong partners. Upon paying a monthly fee of fifty coins, members could get themselves listed in The Pengornisseur after providing a self-portrait, a mailing address, their age and hobbies, as well as a self-introduction. All members would receive a copy of the monthly publication, and they could communicate with one another in private using the information in The Pengornisseur.

Wu Xingzi, a bachelor about to turn forty, worked as the adviser to the magistrate in Qingcheng County.

Qingcheng County was a place with barely any resources. In other words, it was poor. In the list of counties of the Great Xia Dynasty, it had been ranked at the bottom for the past two hundred years.

Wu Xingzi felt that his life was hopeless: not only was he a homosexual, he was also a virgin. Even his retirement fund was lacking. Worse still, his looks were… forgettable.

He might as well die.

Hence, Wu Xingzi decided to commit suicide on his fortieth birthday. However, he was unwilling to remain a virgin to death! And so, gritting his teeth, he joined the Peng Society for Gentlemen and received The Pengornisseur. It was very painful; after all, fifty coins were the sum of his daily expenditure for ten days! He would only pay it once, and he was determined to succeed on his first try.

Associated Names
One entry per line
YGMCT
คบสหายผ่านพิราบต้องพึงระวัง
飛鴿交友須謹慎
飞鸽交友须谨慎
Related Series
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Recommendations
Hua Hua You Long (2)
Blooming Romance (1)
It’s Not Easy Being Your Love Rival’s Big Brother (1)
Exile (1)
Lian Qun Fang (1)
Desharow Merman (1)
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126 Reviews sorted by


Klimintina
New Klimintina
September 23, 2022
Status: c105
Frankly, I don't have much attachment with this novel. In my opinion, I don't like it that much. Throughout the first half of the novel, I was so angry. I was frustrated with the ML. I will not filter my words so I'll say that he's a sn of a btch!!! He's an as*hole! A scumbag!!! I really want to curse him!! Reading the first half of the novel, I want to slap him with my middle finger!!!

I was so annoyed!!! I hate him. This is the first time I... more>> disliked a ML far! Like I've read a lot of novels but dayum! He really disappoints me!

MC was so fvckin nice, pure, and easy going. But the ML was so freakin' manipulative and I couldn't even enjoy the smut in this novel. I just skimmed through it. Who could enjoy when they had sx he would always think about Mr. Lu (whitemoonlight) ????

He would frankly thought in his mind that the MC is just a subtitute, a shadow and all that stuff. It's soooo annoying!!! Curse him!!!

Although I understand that the MC still enjoyed their love making but in my heart and soul, I couldn't accept a man like the ML!!!

(I'm ranting. I.K. IDC)

ML would even like boldly show his affection and desire with Mr. Lu in front of the MC and he was so manipulative that he brought the MC from his hometown to another city coz he can't let him escape coz he was a subtitute of Mr. Lu. He would fvck the MC with Mr. Lu in his mind!!!! Damnnn, if I were in MC's situation, I would fvcking cry!

Although MC just wants to have fun before he die, still it's so freaking annoying seeing him being played and considered as a toy by the ML!

I'm sorry, I finished this novel but I still can't love this novel. So much frustration. I hate third party, harem, and some such the most.

Although they really ended up together, ML learned his true feelings with the MC, for me, it isn't enough!

I want him to fvckn suffer more! I want him to be frustrated and to be wanting to unable to live without the MC! He deserves to be punished emotionally.

Idc what other people think but this is my opinion throughout the story.

If you're planning on reading this, be prepare to be frustrated. I wouldn't stop you from reading this coz IMO it was still written well.

It's just the ML puts me off. He's still an okay ML though, just that his method isn't good and his so fvcking idiot when it comes to love! He's so fvckn insensitive with his own feelings and really stupppiddddd.

Sigh. I will stop here. I don't intend to recall the whole novel. Whatever. <<less
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chinguyen
New chinguyen
September 2, 2022
Status: Completed
its not a bad read, but I guess I was met with extra disappointment because the high rating really made me had excessive expectation for the MC which then wasnt met.

the MC

... more>>
Spoiler

everyone (and the ML) called him cute and simple and straightforward. I think he has brain issue based on the way he behaves. He's selectively sharp for plot convenience, and he can be selectively dumb and doesnt think like a normal brain function too for the plot. At the last chapters, where they have defeated the main villain, one character tried to get him to speak up for the villain for old time's sake, he was able to shoot this down with very solid logical argument and could see the trap hidden in there like a seasoned and veteran court officer / advisor that he is. But for most of the time, he remains a jittery, unconventional and ignorant guy who cant read between the lines, can't see the malice from the exchanged conversation, or the motive behind a person' actions.

it was actually alright for him to be this simple and unconventional. In fact the reason why ML fell so hard for him was because of this flawed yet unique temperament of his (ML got a crooked but smart brain, so he's very interested in things and people that are clean, simple, honest - the opposite of him) but I guess I was disappointed because of the way the good reviews were praising the MC. People called MC mature and practical in the way he deals with his emotion and that he knows his own disposition - so I really came in expecting a mature MC who is able to handle his affair with ease. But he isnt. He's inconsistent (author's fault), he's vulnerable, and sometimes he really made me feel like hes playing the while lotus part because he has no common sense

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All in all its not a bad read but if you have read BL with more sensible MC and ancient china setting with more complex court politic issue and war, this novel will be a light meal. You may find the MC quite difficult to sympathize with and his narrative and thinking quite unpleasant to follow too. <<less
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Chiaroscuro
Chiaroscuro rated it
February 15, 2019
Status: c40
WARNING: This story contains graphicly gratuitous smut (*_*) and all kinds of play. Nosebleed ahead.

This story is about a lonely and ordinary 39 y.o ahjussi (but with dem asian genes he doesn't look that old obv) who lived such a boring and ordinary life that he planned suicide on his 40th bday. He already picked this graveyard and all. BUT this ahjussi is a 39 Years old VIRGIN GAY. So he be like I WANNA BE YOLO AND CONFESS. Shenanigans ensued and in the end he find out ANCIENT STYLE... more>> GRINDR with pigeons and all.

MC: MC IS ADORABLE Y'ALL MUST PROTECT. He realised he's ordinary and although he still lament he accepted his ordinariness. He's very realistic, naive, humble, and very very adorable and cute skskssjsksk. He described himself as a frog inside of a well. Oh, he's also a foodie. Food eclipsed everything infront of him. Esp when he's hungry. Which makes some scenes hilarious (it should be a cliche scene but because he's focusing on food he barely understand what happened)

ML: he is a dominant through and thorough. At first you will hate him, but as the story moves along you'll like him. (Give him chances ok)

The thing I love about this story is that it's realistic. Forget those badly written plot and smut. Although the story itself contains 60-70% smut and 30-40% plot, it's very good. You can see how the author write from the first chapter. This story gave me a feeling of "Novel" instead of online novels. Well written scenes, character with motives and drives that we can relate or understand, and it doesn't feel juvenile.

READ IT YOU ALL, READ IT. <<less
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Celissiye
Celissiye rated it
February 17, 2019
Status: Completed
Rating: 4.4

I have gone and MTLed, the story was not as cheesy as I expected, a good read. Some drama, a bit of angst, lots of comedy, some character progression. For example, a scene will start under a veil of comedy but suddenly MC thinks something extremely depressing.

Of course there is smut, but it isn't like the 'imprisonment yandere ML' sh*t that happens all the time. Basically two guys hook up for different reasons via a magical pigeon system, all s*x is consensual. And most importantly, it felt like... more>> that the characters had a relationship and personality outside of the smut that turned out to be very precious. The smut was part of the story but not the be all end all.

The most enjoyable part of the story to me was the middle, watching both MC and ML slowly progress, as when we start this story, both characters are very jaded.

The first 50 or so chapters are pretty lighthearted and comical, drama and politics erupts in the last half of the book, along with a lower number of s*x scenes. I honestly thought that part dragged a little (maybe b/c I can't understand the MTL as well?!) and could have been shortened. Also, when I say 'drama', I don't mean that characters are suddenly at knife point or stabbed or kidnapped, in the book some exaggerated scenes happen, for example a slap here or there or some low down ultra salty conversations, but not really the violent and random events you get in some other stories. The concept of suicide, mentioned in the first chapter, is briefly brought up and resolved later, but isn't really a major point of importance in the story.

Spoiler

The ML seems like tr*sh because it is soon revealed that MC is just being used as a replacement, but, MC also was not looking for lingering affections and was only interested in s*x at the start. Both parties had to come around and should be regarded as two humans that have a hard time sorting out lingering feelings and coming to terms with their new emotions.

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The antagonists in the story are slimy enough but not entirely evil per say. A couple of the side characters were interesting but they don't stand out a lot, mostly there to support MC or ML.

Certainly for those who like a dedicated and caring ML that pampers MC, along with a MC that is older, innocent but blunt with words. MC also has an odd obsession with food and 'pengpengs'. It's hilarious. Other than how much character improvement he got, the ML didn't stand out very much to me. The dynamic between the MC and ML sort of reminded me of "Spring Trees and Sunset Clouds".

..a shou MC that is young, beautiful, and seductive is common, I love seeing a 40 yr old MC that is describes as slightly awkward, not particularly beautiful, but cute in his own way.

Spoiler

I have to admit, my favorite part is still the first half of the novel, where no matter what ML did, MC was like "This was supposed to be a one night stand..." in his head. Thoroughly eating snacks while other people baffle that he ignored the insults they spouted.

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-of note, the translation is excellent and the writing itself is fun and more descriptive than other novels. As for the smut, seems pretty detailed. <<less
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holachica
holachica rated it
May 28, 2020
Status: Completed
!!!!! A REALLY GOOD READ. NOTE: If you want to MTL, take the Chinese title and pop it into Google.

I don't want anyone to dump this novel because of the bad reviews, so I made a small list of important points. Some of the following stuff is repeated in my review, but this for people who don't feel like going through the whole review.

  1. The ML IS NOT cruel! I see a few reviews that say this, but I swear on all that is holy, the ML never abuses (emotionally or physically), degrades, or lies (with intention to hurt) to the MC.
  2. The s*x is rough, yes, but the MC enjoys it that way. Not all s*x is pillows and cotton candy, please. In later chapters, too, you'll notice that the ML focuses heavily on the MC's pleasure. That's not something you see often in BL novels.
  3. MC is somewhat of a substitute, it's not like the ML is cruel about it. He doesn't wave it in the MC's face. As well, the MC doesn't really care--when he finds out, the MC basically shrugs "well... you do what you wanna do, I never expected anything". DO NOT treat the MC of this story like another one of those dog-blood shows. He is an independent middle-aged man who knows what he's doing.
  4. The ML NEVER promised the MC a relationship at the start, and the MC wasn't seeking one either. The MC only really cared about the ML's d*ck and held back the feelings department, because he's been hurt in the past and he's not about to just throw his feelings away for a new guy.
Anyways... onto the review!

I know many people probably scroll through the reviews before reading something and just know that I recommend it. The angst is good, the MC is incredibly pragmatic and doesn't whine. The ML is sort of... more>> bad in the beginning, but he rarely mistreats the MC, even if he is using the MC as a substitute in the beginning. There's not *too* much drama, not until the end, where there's some good face slapping.

Where normal MCs would be heartbroken and distraught and whiny when finding out ML was using them as a substitute, this MC just goes like "oh? is that so? ok" and in turn deals the ML 1000 points of damage.

Of course, there's also the question of the ML's white moonlight, and how ML was dumb enough to be hooked for 10 years, but remember, the white moonlight met the ML when he was a teenager back from war--ie. very impressionable with inner-fragility. The white moonlight used to be a good person, but then the ML started pampering him and the dude wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He got greedy.

I love how the white moonlight schemes against the MC but the MC could give less of a f*ck. When the white moonlight speaks between the lines (saying one thing but meaning another) the MC doesn't bother reading into it and just takes it at face value, metaphorically choking the white moonlight.

I would give this a long review, as I usually do, but I see so many five star reviews already, so just know that you should read this. I know people think the MC is always pulled around, but think about it... to be pulled around means you need to react to the things and political machinations around you... but the MC doesn't. He doesn't dwell, and just nods and moves on.

If there's one tiny con... the author apparently thinks the butthole squirts.... which it doesn't, and if it does then you got a real medical problem. <<less
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SublimiSomnium
SublimiSomnium rated it
March 15, 2019
Status: Completed
Great for the protagonist and the really steamy smut. Everything else (the ML, side characters, setting, etc...) is pretty much what you would expect, except for the nice twist of the pigeon mail society. What makes the story refreshing is how the MC responds to the ML's OPness - don't want to spoil anything but it is refreshingly modern and mature.

Want to emphasize the MC is MATURE. As in, he is in control of his emotions and takes initiative to communicate effectively, which in turn tends to deflate the nonsensical... more>> drama that plagues typical romance light novels. And yet, the author is also capable of nosebleed-inducing s*x scenes. Highly recommend to fans of the BL genre! <<less
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LukeLukeru
LukeLukeru rated it
March 7, 2021
Status: --
Warning for people that hate NTR. This has the feels of more like a harem novel than a romance novel. The Romance feels incredibly cheap as the ML keeps a romantic and physical/sexual relationship with the love rival throughout the vast majority of the novel.

The characters and overall events had an uncanny semblance to "Killing-stalking" and once you see it, it's impossible to unsee it.

Most importantly, for the people that say the ML is not cruel and never hurts the MC, they are lying. The ML deliberately humiliates, Physically and... more>> emotionally tortures and harms the MC, r*pes, kidnaps, and coerces the MC. It may seem like his deeds bear no effect on the MC, but they do, it's just that the MC self-blames and never resists because of it.

Spoiler

Hummiliation= brings the MC to a friend's high-end restaurant that discriminates against anyone not beautiful to let the owner humiliate the MC in front of him, not serving him food and denigrating him.

Emotional Torture and harm= Rips into pieces the MC's erot*c drawings in front of the MC while knowing that he treasures them;
Physical Torture and harm= Makes him insert a dildo filled with scalding tea up his chrysanthemum; Attacks the MC in a fit of insecurity and badly hurts the MC's wrist and after that makes him travel on a horse for days on end.

r*pe = After discovering the MC's stash of erot*c drawings, confines him in bed for a whole week, to the point the MC continuously begs for pardon and for him to stop with snot and tears for days; Drives his shaft in the MC's a number of times while he is unconscious and once when he is drunk.

Kidnaping= While the MC is unconscious orders his subordinates to kidnap him.

Coersion= After the ML rips the MC's erot*c drawings, he gets new ones and exchanges them for the MC coming with him to another city.

[collapse]

The MC: He suffers from depression, an inferiority complex, and has a mental barrier to internal and external factors affecting him because of heavy past traumas. He willingly caged himself mentally like a frog in a well, but even though in his mind he seems like he doesn't care he still suffers from his welled up feelings and is deeply lonely. While he may never seem to get jealous and remain unaffected, you can see that he suffers silently from fear of being abandoned and jealousy, he is deeply insecure and all he ever needs is a sense of stability (which the ML does not give him).

Spoiler

"He had no intention of devoting a single bit of his feelings towards anyone. His heart was concealed deep within him, surrounded by an iron wall, and he dared not hand it out easily." by Manager Rancui.

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The ML: A textbook Psychopath, he has literally all symptoms. He is the biggest hypocrite, a spoiled man-child, and a pathological liar.

Spoiler

"Guan Shanjin cared for nothing. Since he was a child, his feelings had always been fickle, holding no loyalty to anyone. The pain and sorrow of people next to him had no way of moving him, and it was as though he had nothing to do with this world. No child had to learn how to be close to their parents, but Guan Shanjin needed to. (...) However, he was clever and precocious. Before others could notice that something was wrong, he already knew how to hide his nature, and pretend to be a normal child." by Guan Shanjin.

"His brain has never been open to anything else and has always been tightly shut since birth. Hence, he lacks a little of the emotions ordinary people should have." by Man Yue.

[collapse]

The Love Rival: A calculative and opportunistic ordinary man but with heavenly beauty that got spoiled to the point his brain turned s*upid.

The 1st person narrations are not reliable, both the MC and ML are dense for the reasons above, their actions speak more than their words.
The side characters all know what's happening to some extent, the character with the most reliable source of what happening is manager Rancui, his conjectures are always spot on. He has worked as a matchmaker for years so he has great emotional intelligence and his professionalism is top-notch.

The Romance: It slowly develops but it remains shallow, the ML may say a thousand sweet words and do a thousand cuddles but you always get the sense that he doesn't really care for the MC and even uses him in his schemes. He goes months at a time without interacting with the MC despite living in the same house. The ML expects the MC to accept being a discardable little toy and hand his heart over happily. I really caught myself cheering for the MC to be able to find another man that respects him. The Relationship is heavily one-sided, with the ML not confiding and making decisions with total disregard to the MC's opinion.

Spoiler

The ML remains cuddling with the love rival alone for months at a time and even near the end still keeps him as his lover with a physical/sexual relationship. He keeps other people as lovers and guilt-trips the MC by saying that it was "for him" and "I had no choice" when he clearly had but decided to do it anyway. The turning point is when the ML decided to bring the love rival back when he was snatched by his fiancée. He had a choice on whether he would come clear to the MC before such a drastic decision, and if he truly cared about him, he would not have chosen such a method that at the end of the day was not really necessary, he could've protected the MC in other ways. Even though the ML's heart belonged to the MC, he was still having a physical relationship with the love rival, can't help but feel that the MC had a just cause for running away.

"Seems like Guan Shanjin himself hasn't realized it. He's making use of Adviser Wu to set Lu Zezhi's mind at ease and let him misunderstand that in the end, Guan Shanjin still left the substitute and returned to him. In my eyes, this isn't a noble move at all." Said by manager Rancui

"He was not alone. In his arms was Mr. Lu, and Guan Shanjin was lazily playing with his slender, marble-like fingers. "Why aren't you resting in your room?" Man Yue noticed the reddening of Mr. Lu's lips and the few red marks on his fingertips. He could not help but exclaim that Guan Shanjin was truly going all-in with his acting. Even he was about to believe that the favor Lu Zezhi was enjoying was real." by Man Yue CH 67

Another incident also happened at the very end of the novel, without consulting the MC first, The ML in one of his schemes brings another man back home and "feigns closeness" to make the man believe he had the intention of marrying him.

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ML and Love Rival's relationship:

Spoiler

(Heavy spoiler) The ML doesn't really romantically love Mr. Lu, he likes worshiping him akin to a deity, something pure and unsullied because he himself is "dirty" and savage and couldn't see pureness in the world and when he finds it, he would keep it by his side and pamper it be it a dog or human, he didn't bother to find what were Mr. Lu's intentions as long as he remained near him and he could appreciate Mr. Lu beauty and perceived pureness.
Mr. Lu as well was using the ML because he wanted to live in luxury and be pampered so he calculated for the MC to fall in love with him.

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The smut scenes: at first they are good but it gets VERY repetitive, the same descriptive phrases are used over and over again and midway through the novel the MC started expelling slick through his chrysanthemum whenever he gets excited, maybe he got permanently damaged by the ML's roughness because it is not normal at all. They often do it until the MC starts crying his eyes off, pisses himself, and faints.

The Plot: At times it felt like the real MC of the book was the love rival, he gets mentioned at every possible moment and it felt like it was impossible for the author to write a paragraph without the word "Mr. Lu". The conflicts and misunderstandings feel very fickle and superfluous because it was the ML himself that deliberately created unnecessary trouble most of the time, then kept whining about them. If the ML sat and explained his feelings or the situation to the MC there would not be any drama and their relationship would have developed naturally.

Honorable mention of Autie Liu: Portrayed as a motherly figure, she is not afraid of going against anyone to protect the MC, her fights with the village auties in his defense are the funniest and best parts of the Novel. <<less
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byunnie
byunnie rated it
March 30, 2019
Status: Completed
This is one of the best BL I've ever read. The MC is very rational and mature, he thinks of their relationship as purely fob because he can't ever see someone like ML "settling" for a small advisor like him which drives the ML insane. The little drama that exists is handled quickly and efficiently by the MC and ml.

Their relationship is very cute and you can see how much they love and respect each other.

And the ML didn't get played by the teacher the entire time. He KNEW but... more>> he let it go because for him he could forgive anything as long as he himself still liked the other person.

I'm especially happy that there was no r*pey elements. There were tons of situations where the r*pey elements could come into play but the ML always put mc's consent first and I really liked that. A+
Spoiler

Mr lu's end was way better than he deserved

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Spoiler

I really loved their little talk the night before Mr Lu's wedding, the way they just opened up to each other and the ML calling himself s*upid for ever thinking the mc's idiotic expressions ruin Mr Lu's shadow

[collapse]
<<less
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dakimakura_funds
dakimakura_funds rated it
June 4, 2019
Status: c15
the entire concept of ancient chinese grindr is absolutely mind-blowing. I adore it. The fact that dangalangs are referred to as "pengornises" is just the cherry on top. 10/10 MC is absolutely adorable, I love him. ML is not doing too hot where im at, but he'll get better apparently, so im looking forward to it.
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Mangaholic
Mangaholic rated it
February 27, 2021
Status: c105
Hoenstly when reading this novel don't expect a fluffy story with a cute gong amd shou. If it weren't for how absolutely amazing Wu Xingzi is I would have just dropped it already. The gong is the typical scum and though later on he is meant to get a redemption tbh he really doesnt get any better. There is a good amount of angst so beware those of the faint of heart. The smut is good for a bl novel but can be quite repetative in its descriptions. For example... more>> the author seems to constantly repeat these phrases: 'egg shaped head', 'digged his tongue in' and 'his hole winked'.

Also beware there is some p*ss play, as in the shou does urinate/squirt a couple time during s*x.

The real issue I had was with the previously mentioned so called 'redemption'. It was meant to be this insanely dramatic event,
Spoiler

where Wu Xingzi finally grows a backbone and runs away. Intially I had good hopes for it, finally Guan Shanjin would have a chance to reflect and maybe we would get some character development like the gong apologising for using the shou as a substitute and treating him kinda shittily even for a s*x friend (dropping a sleeping Xingzi on the floor after heard Lu Zehzi was hurt). But no, it turns out to all be part of this huge plan Guan Shanjin had.

He then continues to 'date' the person who made the shou run away in the first place while he is meant to be hurt over Xingzi leaving. Whilst I understand why, what I really can't accept is that the gong constantly rips up Wu Xingzi's p*rn in a fit of jealousy, but the shou has to accept that the gong has to fake date Lu (his first love too).

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Intially it wasn't too bad
Spoiler

as the shou didn't seem to care but by the end it is very obvious how jealous Xingzi is, mentioning his heart hurting and how pained he feels. Even after their resolution, Guan Shanjin still continues his fake relationship, never really acknowledging the Xingze having to live with that, past a quick 'oh I don't love him I love you'.

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Another issue I have with this callous gong is that we as the reader are meant to realise
Spoiler

that he wasn't in love with his white moonlight but rather that it was a puppy love, fickle and fleeting. But throughout the novel he seems to treat his first love better than his 'real love'. Xingze is constantly slandered in front of him; his friend goes through significant effort to mock him, the city the gong lives in believes that the only reason he is dating the shou is as a substitute (and a bad quality one at that) and Lu insults him several times. In one of their first meetings the shou is berated by the gong for a mistake that Lu caused in the first place. Guan Shanjin makes little to no effort to remedy any of these situations. Even if the Wu Xingzi doesnt care (kudos to him) it is common decency to not want malicious gossip about your partner spread around. In fact in the novel it was mentioned that slanderous comments about Lu Zehzi made Guan kill Hua but this courtesy is clearly not given to those who slander Wu Xingze.

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This novel is not one to read for the gong, or for most of the main characters honestly as most of them are willing bystanders of the Wu Xingzi constantly getting humiliated and doing nothing to help. Instead read this novel for a calm, collected shou, who is comfortable in his sexuality and learns to love again after a painful heartache. Wu Xingze carried the book and deserves someone who worships the ground he stands on. In fact the only possible critisim I could have of the shou is that whilst I loved his carefree nature, too often around Guan Shanjin this turned into mindless acceptance and spinelessness.
Spoiler

From having to leave his job because of him, to being kidnapped whilst drunk and then ignored for days while the kidnapper (gong) takes care of Lu Zezhin

[collapse]
, Wu Xingzhi just accepts it all. I spent most of the book hoping he would find another Pengornis and elope with him but unfortunatly Guan Shanjin is the male lead so it didnt happen.

Tldr; meh book, read for the shou. Dont have high hopes for the gong. You spend most of the book hating him and then the rest of it trying as hard as possible to ignore how much of a d*ck he was to enjoy the cute mmoments. Also first 70 chapters have lots of p*ss play. <<less
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Melange
Melange rated it
July 11, 2020
Status: Completed
This story is so. fricking. hilarious. It had me laughing from the very first chapter. Welcome to the world of ancient Grindr. There's a good mix of romance, humor, angst, and character development.

MC is an absolute cinnamon roll, but he's naughty.

... more>>
Spoiler

After signs up for the penpal service he writes some letters only to receive... d*ck pics. He's absolutely gobsmacked.

So what does he do?

Sends letters to everyone so that he can collect more d*ck pics, HAHAHA.

[collapse]

Meanwhile, ML is a big ol' scumbag, but he gets his just desserts.

Spoiler

After MC and ML have their first tryst, MC pats his ass and leaves, causing ML to throw a temper tantrum and destroy half a building.

He's also a huge vinegar vat and rips up some of MC's top 10 favorite d*ck pics (leaving his own) so they have to go through great lengths to get them back later.

At one point, he sends a fake d*ck pic modeled after his own d*ck to try to entice MC but ends up getting jealous of his own fake d*ck so he forces MC to burn it.

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Like many stories in an ancient setting, there are schemes everywhere. However, MC's naive albeit self-aware personality allows him to unwittingly outsmart everyone while throwing a kink in their plans. No one is safe from MC's unknowingly disruptive and unconventional personality. Not ML, not the white moonlight, nor any of the other side characters.

There's a lot of nosebleed chapters in this and be aware that a good 70% of this novel is NSFW. I'll be honest... I was worried MC might die of a heart attack during some of those chapters... Some fetishes to be aware of.

Spoiler

Fellatio, rim jobs, urinary incontinence, dubcon, edging, and sounding among others.

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The prose in this novel is one of the best I've seen and the translators do a really good job, so I would highly suggest waiting for the complete translation. Ending is a bit rushed and there were some unresolved loose ends, but it was sweet and comical.

Spoiler

You'd think that ML would propose marriage at the end of the novel, right? Wrong.

What does he give MC?

Box of 300 d*ck pics.

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fltstrt
fltstrt
December 27, 2019
Status: c38
Wu Xingzi our MC is beyond adorable. It was quite delightful reading how this honest and shy virginal man starts his sexual journey at a ripe age of 40 with the help of the Peng Society. For a sweet man like WXZ, I very much wished he met someone that wasn't so outstanding, someone utterly ordinary who can give him the warmth and love that he's been longing for.

Alas, WXZ caught the eye of ML Shan Guan Jin for bearing slight likeness to Mr Lu, his unattainable and lofty white moonlight. SGJ whisked WXZ away from his mundane life and introduced a world of incomparable physical pleasure and torment. How SGJ regards WXZ is surmised by the following phrase from the story,

Spoiler

Dressed in light colours, Wu Xingzi looked refined and graceful, tranquil and content. If Mr. Lu was the soft and luminous moonlight, Wu Xingzi would be the brook reflecting the moonlight. Guan Shanjin was unable to obtain the moon in the sky, but he could pick up the reflection in the water. As such, he tightened his arms, embracing the person within tightly.

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I initially worry that the seemingly gentle lamb like WXZ would be undoubtedly eaten clean by the wolf SGJ. But fear not, WXZ has SGJ wrapped around his fingers tightly and he doesn't even know it. Looking forward to see how this drama unfolds in the latter part. I do hope that it doesn't turn too angsty.
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Kitsunesuki
Kitsunesuki
November 11, 2020
Status: c12
I really don't understand why this got such good reviews. The ML is cruel and arrogant to the point of being disgusting and not only that, he's treating the MC as a substitute for someone else? I'm not someone that thinks that people necessarily have to be in love to have s*x or whatever but the way the general despises the MC and treats him like dirt makes me want to throw up. He's such a total jerk. If you like "romances" (if you can even call this tr*sh a... more>> romance) where the love interest treats the main character with cruelty and disrespect, by all means read this novel. As for me, I'm dropping it <<less
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Severe
Severe rated it
November 7, 2020
Status: Completed
Well well well, till now I didn't really understand what cringe means exactly. I was enlightened though. Yet it unexpectedly jumped right into "worth reading" part of my reading list! The novel is REALLY great - plot, translation, writing style, characters - overall, I was engrossed. (The first ~15 chapters are pure embarrassment to read, later it will be easier)

Totally recommended if you can tolerate smut.
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Neleothesze
Neleothesze rated it
June 8, 2020
Status: C66
Reading so many transmigration stories, I often wondered: What if the ML that the MC was STUCK WITH was that type of scheming, unfeeling villain that usually got face-slapped by the main couple?

I got my answer! And it's great.

YGM's ML, General Guan Shanjin is just that scheming, unfeeling, outwardly upright & gentle to his lovers but inwardly uncaring character. (TLDR: He's a dick!)

YGM's MC, Advisor Wu Xingzi is a 40 year old virgin who has all but given up on life. He has low self-esteem and, in my opinion,... more>> chronic melancholy. In his own words, he's 'self-aware' and 'knows his place'.

He doesn't dare to hold onto the ML too tightly because he doesn't think he deserves it. This sort of mentality gives rise to many funny situations where others' schemes fail because he is too humble and honest. Between the abundant (and over the top, sometimes trullu ridiculous) s*x scenes, there is real character growth for both the ML and the MC.

5/10 plot - not much of it (at least not in the first 65 chapters)

10/10 characters - best combo: flawed characters + character growth. 8/10 s*x (asses don't leak 'slick' like some broken faucet unless you're suffering from some serious health issues!!! Stop f*cking your partner after he's fainted!!!)

10/10 translation <<less
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lourdes
lourdes
December 8, 2019
Status: Completed
It's the best!

What best?

Satisfactory:

    • Smut (nose bleed...)
    • Plot
    • Light drama at twist
    • Excitement
    • Uniqueness
As for how?

Please read it.

Don't want to tell spoiler.

------------------------------

I Bing read it for 3 days...

It's only 106 chapter but with many disturbances it took me three days plus I Google translate it so slow.

I will patiently wait for updates and read the translated version in novelupdate too.

I'm the type to r-read my favorites 100x... Lol
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ylial
ylial rated it
October 18, 2019
Status: c72
The story is fun and entertaining to read. The smex scenes are also detailed, starting fr ch7 (if I remember correctly). If u'r looking for smut, this one is good. Will probably drop soon since I don't want this type of drama.

I really love the MC, though I couldn't imagine a 40y/o shou at first in danmei novel. But you will really like him although he's kinda timid. No matter what form of insult/malice the ML (indirectly) and the people around the ML did to MC, the MC was... more>> just chill (ignorance is really bliss). Ahaha serves the ML right, like punching into a cotton-Ch19, favorite ch so far.

For the ML... hmm.. his character is appropriate with the story. In my personal opinion, he's a scum. Since he could not get the person he liked he played with many people, including the MC, and MC was just a replacement for someone. Good thing, the MC is a pengornis lover so ML's plan failed. I also dislike how the ML tortured the MC emotionally. He's possessive yet he doesn't even like the MC, just his pride. <<less
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Illisaide
Illisaide rated it
September 2, 2019
Status: c27
I came in expecting comedic smut. Not feels. And to be fair, most of it did revolve around it (don’t expect a deep and profound plot), but I legitimately cried reading the latest chapters.

Reading the reviews, I expected a typical dense, overly naive and scummy MC. The type we see so so often in these novels. What I got was a realistic man who has been hurt so bad in his past that he has pretty much given up on life, purposely turning a blind eye towards many things to... more>> avoid being hurt again. In these stories, we often see MCs trying to improve — to gain more power, think more cleverly, to toughen up in order to push everyone else down and take revenge — using stuff like “there’s a fine line between love and hate” to justify themselves. Basically acting like true love could be simply thrown away when reality is too hard to bear, just. like. that. (How could it be called love then?! Isn’t it just possessive obsession?) But I relate more to the MC who,
Spoiler

even knowing about the betrayal, still loves anyway. Unable to stop and tearing himself apart over time because of it.

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And because of this perspective, I’ll be darned if I look at a “frog in a well” the same way again.

... No comment on the ML — he’s pretty much as described in the other reviews so far. I do like the peeks into the consequences of his actions though. Most of the other novels I’ve read had the consequences hand-waved away and justified because “it’s the ML — he’s a scum with a heart of gold, ” or “he did it for love, ” or “you have to make some hard decisions when you’re at the top.” So it's kinda nice to see a scum actually being portrayed as a scum.

Supporting characters... how to put it? ((⇀‸↼)) Well, it’s true that their stories and motives aren’t really as fleshed-out as could be, but their actions and thoughts during the events characterizes them pretty well. I especially like the local Pengornisseur’s manager. He’s sort of like those scheming, money grubbing businessmen you see so often, but he’s also human in a way I’ve never seen before in these sorts of characters.

But yeah, if you’re looking for something deep and profound, something other than unrealistic (but hot) smut here, you’re probably going to be disappointed. <<less
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xblkdragonx
xblkdragonx rated it
July 3, 2019
Status: Completed
I blasted through the novel in 2 days. While it drags a tiny bit 1/3 into the novel, it wasn't dentrimental to the overall pacing of the story.

This is first and foremost a smut novel with good plot.

The MC is adorable but he's not a mindless idiot. The other characters often underestimate him, but they're all left spitting blood bc the MC is really that genuine. The MC is very clear who he is and where he stands in life. Most of the time, this is the MC's core strength... more>> in his character. However, this also can be a bad trait bc he's so sure of who he is and what he's worth, that it's difficult for him to change his mind. I like that this MC might seem like a white lotus, but he's very human with human flaws.

I also liked the ML. Sure, it starts off a little shaky, but the ML nerve forces, never r*pes the MC. This is 100% from the get go. The ML seems like a rough and possessive lover, but from the very start he pampers and is sweet with the MC. It's acknowledged, while the ML is with a lover, he'll dote on them. When he gets bored, he'll dump them quickly and his adore cools. ML expects to do the same with MC, but the ML is the one that becomes sticky. The ML is clingy but not overbearing.

Overall, while there's some small misunderstanding, the relationship these two develop is a very mature relationship. They actually communicate and talk! <<less
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MeimeiXgreetsXNiangniang
MeimeiXgreetsXNiangniang rated it
May 15, 2020
Status: 28
I don't like ML. He's a scum and despite being a great general still falls for his white moonlight's tricks. But it's okay since MC treats him accordingly. In fact, it's the ML that is suffering grievances not MC. (Serves him right)

In other words, we got a scum ML and an MC who couldn't care less. The result is their hilarious interactions.
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stardustmist
stardustmist rated it
February 21, 2020
Status: c52
I wasn't expecting such deep emotions while reading it, I felt so relatable while reading it and it made me super sad. I cried several times cause the MC was just so lonely and had given up his pursuit of happiness. He's just so alienated from the worldly affairs and only wants to have some fun before he returns to his gravesite.

The MC is average, doesn't have high status and there is nothing so special about him....... that's what he thinks, however, he's adorable, funny and I love how he... more>> is independent and simple minded. It's very refreshing to have an average MC with whom we can relate and connect to.

Not gonna lie, didn't like the ML at first, he's a douche. But it changes so I'm loving it~

THE SMUT, OH GOODNESS, If you love reading smuts then THIS IS FOR YOU~

Also, I didn't know that shou could get wet and I was confused for a few moments, thankfully someone pointed it out in the review, so thank you for that~

The relationship between MC and ML isn't what it seems, they slowly develop their relationship and I truly love that. The ML liking him, doting on him and thinking about his safety isn't rushed. Yes, you can fall in love within a second, but I loved how the ML slowly changes his attitude towards the MC. It's endearing and worth reading.

The MC is very much dense and it's understandable why. The translator did an amazing job with this story and I can't stop thinking about this. The story just grips right at your heart and you will still love it haha. <<less
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moonbeam00
moonbeam00 rated it
February 8, 2020
Status: c50
Aahh... this story is one of a touching story. I really love the MC. You can't help but feel your heart being squeeze with MC's characters. Gentle yet so strong, have many disadvantages but never one who begs pity from others. I like how MC and ML are so realistic. MC didn't even think he could catch a man like ML. And how the development of ML character is so natural. He loved other man for years before he met MC, and ofc it's only natural he didn't suddenly forget... more>> that 'love' as soon as he met his new love interest. But we can read through the story how his feeling gradually grows for MC (the one he truly loves). And this story is so funny. I truly enjoy reading this. Even though I have read through the direct raw translation (my head dizzy with the many inaccuracies), I still wait this proper translation to finish. Thank you for the translator. <<less
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