As stated in the summary, he leaves these shackles behind and decides to take all of his savings and spend them on anything he could think of. One of which is s*x. Hahaha. He regrets that he was never really intimate with anyone and hires ML, who was drunk at the time and stumbled upon MC's hotel room, to be his lover for a month. ML finds that MC was quite interesting. MC seems conservative but at the same time, quite wild. One of the first things that MC asks for was to go skydiving! LOL. Later on, MC and ML go to Las Vegas. Normally, the routine would be MC making the request to go to certain places and ML would comply to them. MC makes it a secret that he is going to a strip club and gets ML really jealous. I think MC was going to throw money at the boys on stage, but ML stops him, saying something along the lines of "You have me in front of you. I am better than those boys!" Even after leaving, MC is still thinking about touching their bodies. When ML stopped him, one of the boys called him onto the stage, but ML took MC away. ML was like, "You're still thinking about them, aren't you?"

There are sweet moments though. MC truly wants to be with someone he loves and keeps thinking how he hoped that was true in his next life. When they went to Las Vegas, MC asks to go to the marriage office to get a certificate. He wants to have it to look at when he flies back home. He wants to have it cremated with him when he dies... When he sleeps, he would get nightmares about being ridiculed for liking men, and cries, which distresses the ML. ML wants to get closer to MC, but MC wants to keep some distance because I think he doesn't believe that ML really likes him. MC thinks that ML is only keeping up the image of a lover because he paid him off (but ML is already rich.)

the ML intended to admit his identity but the MC, who already had a hunch does not want to hear it bcos he knew it was useless since he's dying. He disappeared to some China countryside and intended to silently fade away but instead found out his weird constitution and is already pregnant. His own misunderstanding of his body's condition resulted in the month-long misunderstanding between the pair. However after that, it became a warm family drama with parents and friends learning about them. And oh, abundant dog food in the middle of it for the poor single dog friends and acquaintances.

Our MC is someone who is stuck in a one sided love, and not only that he has also been used as a spare tire for over ten years. He also broke up with his parents for more than 5 years, because he admitted to his parents that he was gay.

While our ML is someone who has a bad relationship with her father, this is also actually due to the lack of communication between the two and also due to ML's rebellious nature.

In my opinion, of all the characters, ML's father is one of the most tragic characters and also the character who makes the most sacrifices. He truly loved his son so much that he could sacrifice everything he had for him.

If you ask me, I actually a little bit dislike ML Character for what he did to his father.

MC thought ML was a hired prostitute, and paid him 300 thousand dollars to accompany him for a month.

This is related to the misdiagnosed MC disease mentioned in synopsis.

Maybe in the synopsis the misdiagnosed MC is told like something short and funny.

But the truth is it's not as funny as it was in the synopsis.

The story of MC when he found out that he was sick was very sad. Especially when he finally chose to break his relationship with ML because he didn't want ML to see him sick and dead.

Not to mention when MC meeting again with his parents, and the struggle of his parents to treat MC no matter how much it costs.

When they first met the reason MC's left ML was because he knows that ML is traumatized, which is because he saw the death of his sick mother. So he finally chose to leave because he didn't want ML to see him die, and become traumatized again.

And about marriage things.

There are also several reasons why MC doesn't marry ML directly :

First, that is due to their age difference (5 years). MC feels that ML still has a free spirit and doesn't want him to feel constrained and regret after their marriage (MC said this himself in several chapters near their wedding day).

There is also problem with the different backgrounds that MC and ML have, MC's first love experience where he was used as a spare tire for 10 years, and the same gender things that makes MC feel a very high level of insecurity.

Which is actually normal, Because ML is too extraordinary while MC is actually only considered as a normal handsome man who from an ordinary family.

I know I still haven't read the whole novel yet but right now, what's being focused on is not just the relationship between MC and ML but their life outside the dream-like state it was when MC thought he was gonna die at the start at the novel and started living like each day was his last. Now that he knows he isn't gonna die and he got his lover back, they have to deal with their work, their family, their freaking baby (which I don't blame the ML for being too inexperienced in btw. He's a bit immature about it now but you gotta wait for him to grow) and ofc their personal relationship.

Honestly, I was a bit disappointed with how their reunion went but I can't say I expected much either. Their relationship is realistic in the aspect of the couple's interactions

The MC learns that he actually isn't going to die but have a baby and yet keeps it from the ML because he claims he can't find him, which is dumb considering he didnt even really search AT ALL. Fast forward a long ass time the ML stumbles upon the fact he is a father and tries to make moves to be closer to his child and the MC that live in another city yet the MC despises him for it. Like... what???? The MC makes so much needed drama and misunderstandings, I feel bad for ML. These are just two examples, dumb misunderstandings KEEP HAPPENING. Like the ML gets photographed next to a woman. OH HE MUST BE CHEATING. Like wtf???

had died and part of his hair turned white overnight

premature and I felt so much heart break as he was severly sick as soon as he was born. He needed heart surgery when he was 1y old

I had put this on-hold a few months ago since I really liked it and was invested in it. But now when I think back to everything that happened, I'm just mad! I don't care if the author wants to add some drama, just be reasonable and don't make the ML go through all that sh*t for nothing!

At the beginning, when the MC decided to leave the ML (when they were abroad I guess), I could understand that. It might be hurtful to the ML, but the MC had his reasons then, he had his approaching death and all. But he decided to go back on his word and return to the ML, which is actually an emotional ab*se for the ML. But still, I could understand that, he loved the ML and couldn't bear to part ways with him. Again he tricked him and left him (which I find really awful, the ML shouldn't have experienced that twice), but AGAIN I understand because he's dying and for all the reasons he mentioned in his letter to his lover.

From here on, the author decided to make things l nonsensical. For some reason, MC's parents (I guess only his father?), decided to accept him back into the family because he found out his son is dying? I don't care about whatever parents feelings bullshit, let's just see the facts, the son has been banned? For years for his s*xual orientation. The father was quite harsh with him and I don't remember well, but he could have commented on his son's death like it had nothing to do with him, and even better, he'd be happy about it. He said some nasty words. And when his son was ACTUALLY DYING, he became a different person? What a psycho. Anyways the son, who was rejected because he's gay, was welcomed even with the supernatural aspect of being pregnant! I actually don't care much about the issue with his parents, it is ridiculous yes, but I can ignore it to some extent.

The main issue that made me go nuts is this: Now the MC knew he wasn't dying, instead he is pregnant. And here's some facts: 1. He loves the ML. 2. He knows how much the ML loves him. 3. He found out that he left and ab*sed him for nothing now.

If he is the same MC we read about in the first dozen chapters, then he'd make an effort to find the ML and tell him the truth. If he truly cares about him and loved him just like the author conveyed to us, then he wouldn't have continued ditching him! He had absolutely no excuse.

Aftaid the ML wouldn't accept him because he's pregnant? This wouldn't happen, first because he knows just how much the other loves him, second because, according to the author's logic, even his father who was against him being gay is now welcoming him AND the baby in open arms, so how'd his lover react?

Doesn't know where to find him? The ML had already told him about his university, he did drop some obvious hints. I don't think he'd reach nowhere if he made the bare minimum effort to look for him, giving the ML status.

I wouldn't be so appalled if he just tried! But he didn't even try to reach him and tell him. The baby isn't his alone, the ML deserved to know that his lover is well and that he's expecting a baby! He robbed him of all of that! He didn't experience those months prior to the birth, hell, he didn't even experience or feel the day his baby was born! This is too cruel and selfish.

And to add more fuel to the fire, the author decided to tell the ML that the MC died! Yay! Drama! So the ML lived TWO YEARS like shit! He didn't know his lover was actually alive and kicking, and he hadn't the slightest clue that he's a father!

What I'm so mad about is this point. MC just decided to raise the baby alone! As if this baby had came from a shameful relationship, as if he didn't have a caring and gentle father! He not only robbed his father of all these priceless moments, he made him suffer so bad.

The ML absolutely didn't deserve this. He deserved much better.

(*) I didn't mention that accident where the MC's ex-one-sided love accidentally hurts the MC and how the MC and his parents decided to be crazy about it because the issue with the ML alone is exhausting me. I'm not defending that man, it was purely an accident and he had no clue the other was pregnant! A freaking accident! But they treated him like the demon itself! This is way too disgusting and s*upid.