as one of the characters will die due to bad health

MC runs into first love who once reciprocated her affection when they were in high school. A flashback is given about how they end up getting caught while kissing, and one of MC's enemies decides to use this to make things worse for MC at school in general. The flashback ends with MC's first love being coerced out of fear by the bully to spit on MC's face and call her a pe*vert, after which MC's first love leaves and thus ending any relationship between them whatsoever, and leading to the MC trying to commit su*cide, only to end up waking up in a hospital with her wrist heavily bandaged and her widowed mother crying while looking at her while asking if she intended to leave her just like her father did (J.E.S.U.S C.H.R.I.S.T).

After that heart wrenching flashback, the story goes back to the MC's confrontation with this character and the MC herself talks about how hard it is to accept any kind of apology due to how much pain and suffering she endured afterward, but then, as she's about to say something to let this person know how much they hurt her (and probably how she could never forgive her etc.), she see's a watch on her wrist that was given to her by FL for her birthday, and decides that it's not worth it, and tells her first love to forget what happened in the past, effectively moving, and even engaging her in a conversation about love.

... What the actual hell? I'll admit, everyone's different, and I'm far from having met and known every single person in the world, so maybe there's someone out there who could actually do what MC did in this moment, and let me say right now if you, the person taking the time to read this have managed to do such a thing, you are a saint in my eyes and this world doesn't deserve you. But for me, and anyone like me, who could never just drop such heavy emotions because of the feelings she has for someone, who she's not even confident likes her back at this point in the story by the way, reading this is excruciatingly stressful. After getting to know MC's heart wrenching back story and empathizing while hoping there's some kind of justice for this character, this happening is like the Author telling the reader, 'Yeah, just move on pal, the MC doesn't care anymore so why should you?'.

I'm not sure if I should call this a 'trope', but I have seen this same pattern in a few GL stories (there might be non-GL stories but I honestly don't remember since all I've been reading lately is GL), and the usual reasoning behind the 'trope' of the MC quickly moving past trauma inducing memories is because it's the kind of story where there's no 'evil' characters, just people who made 'mistakes'. It almost makes it seem like the Author is trying to go for 'realistic relationships', but my problem with this goes into the second spoiler below...

The dialogue between MC and FL. If you've somehow reached this far, just know that I personally hope you never communicate with someone you care about the way these two characters communicate with each other. Story be damned, this is simply UNHEALTHY. I don't see anyone mentioning this in the positive reviews for this story which honestly blows my mind because no matter how I think about it, it doesn't make sense at all. From the moment the MC and FL meet, FL talks arrogantly to MC (I guess she's supposed to be a domineering CEO type?), but the problem lies with what comes after. They have a misunderstanding, and FL apologizes to MC, and after some more incidents take place, they become friends, but despite it being clear (to the reader at least) that the FL is trying to pursue the MC, she often makes comments or retorts in ways that implies on the surface level that she doesn't care about MC, and even puts herself on pedestal while comparing each other. This kind of behavior would have been barely okay if it was maybe for the first few months or even the first year that they spent to get to know each other, but apparently the FL keeps up this way of talking to the MC for SIX—I'VE NEVER BEEN SO TEMPTED TO DROP THE F-BOMB—YEARS.

The Author tries to imply that the reason MC puts up with this is because of the actions of the FL, seeming to imply that 'actions speak louder than words', but people, please, don't ever fantasize about having that kind of relationship with someone, it is unhealthy. If you can't bring yourself to speak affectionately to the person you like, do you actually like that person? I can only pray that no one tries to argue that the FL is simply being a tease toward the MC or that she's just being shy as both MC and FL are described as being timid.

Being a tease in this case implies that there's fun to be had from both sides despite one poking fun at the other, but there are many instances of MC getting frustrated with FL's teasing, and not in a 'I wish she would just do something' kind of way, but a 'Why does she have to talk to me like this?' kind of way, only for MC to feel warm afterward by thinking about the 'actions' the FL have taken toward her over the years... What? Is that how relationships work? She speaks harshly to the extent that it cuts me emotionally, but she's nice with her actions towards me so it's okay? Is that what we're going with? I'm sorry but no, that's not how real relationships work, not ones that have actual feelings of love and empathy in them.

As I said before, there are more than these two reasons for me not to recommend this story, but these are the ones I felt were the worst to experience for people like me, and I didn't want to make this post longer than it needs to be (not doing a very good job though xD).

What really sealed the deal with me was their only child. Zizheng is plagued by her constant fear that everyone she has loved, and will love, will abandon her. Regardless if it was due to death or plain cowardice, Zizheng has been repeatedly proven correct until Huaixi. It’s incredibly ironic too, considering that Huaixi has a short life span due to numerous health complications. But Zizheng reconciles with the fact that it was better to love than to have never love because life is too precious to squander its experiences. Huaixi proves this to Zizheng by giving her a child. They both know that Huaixi will die but her love will never disappear because their child is proof of their bond. The ending is bittersweet. The reader is left wondering if it was worth reading a story without necessarily a “happy” ending. But that’s exactly what the story is trying to convey - it’s better to have experienced it for the sake of growing and understanding regardless if the destination ends in happiness or sadness.

*flips table* why did the author have to kill my Jiang Huaixi (FL) like that?! even lian xuan (MC's first love) had a bad ending. she is not the best but she isnt bad either. her family is a mess so she is naturally a coward and I understand. she was a kid. the only good ending was xu baihan. I guess one good ending is better than no good ending. im still fuming bc FL died.