it would be the fact that the ending seemed a bit abrupt to me. I may have had higher expectations for the close off given the fact that the stigma of same-s*x marriage was highlighted strongly in this work - There was a lot of in-novel public/media scrutiny due to the fact that MC and FL are high-standing in the entertainment circle. In addition, although the foreshadowing was done very well, I found FL's behaviour in the beginning to be inconsistent with what I'd expect from her after her experience... but that might just be me hehe

chapter 1-19 review: Their past is sad yet sweet. You can't help but hate Ji You's past mistake and at the same time root for her present hardwork to woe Ji Xue. The first few chapters showed the shortcomings of the MC and Ji Xue's unconditional love by using flas back of the MC and Ji Xue. It's interesting how the author made you feel like Ji You deserves Ji Xue's coldness when commonly, you want to make the FL jealous. At this point, I really wanted them to be friends or at least have a closure.

In the later chapters, Ji Xue's flashbacjks showed how lovely their relationship is. Ji You is actually so protective and sweet. Of course, Ji xue is sweet as usual (ugh I want a Ji Xue in my life). The scene made me so warm that I wonder how did their relationship ended up like that. Now, I can't help but root for them.

After reading for a while, the story made sure to let us know that they still love each other. Even after Ji You's death in the past life, Ji Xue still loved her ughhhh. I still don't know how they broke up but I know that it was mostly Ji you's fault.

completed: I don't want to spoil much since it's a good story and I want you to enjoy it. All I can say is it's a happy ending. They cleared a lot of misunderstandings, and they became the better version of themselves after making up. The story is very slow-burn, but you just want to savor every moment of their interactions. I had a lot of questions, and I was very anxious before, but everything turns out great so don't worry :)) ENJOY READING

I was happy when FL ignored her cousin (?) and ended up coming home for her birthday and didn't leave MC in the dark with her surprise "party".

8 years ago.

Having lost the first argument against her parents in her life and the excessive heavy expectations placed onto her shoulders from her surroundings, she forced herself to accept the idea of having an engagement with the caring older brother from next door who she grew up with. She didn't believe in love. After her music friend's death who lamented it is a pity (her choice to marry and be a puppet for her whole life) since she was extremely gifted in music. From the funeral, she received a guitar as a parting gift.

That night, she reflected and she felt tired of acting as the perfect daughter in their eyes. She feared she would lose her sense of identity and confesses wanting to live her life the way she wanted before the engagement was finalized... She was kicked out of the family and was only 20 when she left home to pursue her dreams in the music industry.

She fell in love with her. They started dating.

7 years ago, she was forced to give up on music due to her shitty agency not supporting her well and even sold her lyrics to a singer, making the other famous till this day. 6 years ago, she went home but only to find out her parents have moved houses and changed their contact information. She has lost any form of communications with them...

She became even more distraught over her constant comparison with her against her family treatment and poverty, she refused to show her lover the unsightly sides of her, fearing she will leave her one day. Able to accept others' help but not hers, the number of things she hid from her grew yet she well aware that her avoidance is hurting her but just ignored it. She was forced to give up on her dream, her self-confidence became smaller, her heart began to drift further as the years went by.

2 years ago. She received a call that she was severely injured from filming action scenes. She didn't manage to arrive on time due to financial problems. She didn't want to let her know that she's running out of money. When she finally visited her in the hospital and see her body covered with wounds, she immediately accepted the breakup, leaving without a word.

She fell in love with her self-confidence, her music, her everything, yet when she gave up on music, she also began to shut her out. She refused her help, always looking at her with very little pride she has left. She let down her pride to approach her but all was for nought, her expectations are always turned into disappointment. Her heart seems to be like the kite, flying higher and further from her grasp. She minded exposing her relationship with her to the public but didn't mind getting into rumours with other male actors. She began to have lesser interactions with her, she's always the one who stayed up late waiting for her to return or respond to her during the lonely nights.

2 years ago, she was severely injured from her work and was sent to the hospital. She endured the pain to call the person she wanted to meet the most but all she got was one sentence. She didn't appear right away. Her heart that was already tired from years of waiting has finally given up on her. She didn't trust that she loves her anymore. She initiated the breakup but was heartbroken to see how she has accepted so calmly as if she was waiting for her to say that.

When she met her again, her heart was cold towards her...

She always did not open up to her, she was always in the dark.

Her silence weathered down her acceptance and trust.

She couldn't have the confidence to believe that she loves her and trust her anymore.

When she found out about the fiance thing, she felt as if she has not walked into her heart, she didn't see her letting down her defences, she wasn't really accepted her before.

She has her pride as arrogance. She gathered her courage to approach her and always needed a much longer time for them to comfort herself after every rejection from her.

but like damn the stuff she does is so heinous... Like Jing Xiu is rich and has a lot of contacts so after they get into the entertainment circle for real she tries to help MC out, MC is too proud and wants to prove herself so she doesn't take Jing Xiu's help and goes to a shitty company and this really is the worst mistake of her life.

She gets a very shitty manager that only looks at the short picture and quick gains so she convinces MC to start hyping herself up with male stars to attract traffic to herself, she goes out to dates with them while filming, gets caught with them, is overly touchy with them and just like c'mon bro, she starts going down this hole of needing to be famous and pushed Jing Xiu away, she starts lying to Jing Xiu, missing dates, anniversaries, birthdays, starts asking her to not see her to not cause misunderstandings she's getting help from her or that they have a relationship (indeed while doing all that with male actors) and it's just pretty despicable.

Jing Xiu asks her to star in a lesbian movie with her that will help push a lesbian movement at the time and of course MC refuses cuz it would hurt her image, she refused to help that movement too in any other way cuz being associated with it would hurt her fame (which I can understand a bit but come the f*ck on), refuses to talk about her past, what she's doing, her plans, and like how the f*ck can you trust someone like this? and then the worst of all, Jing Xiu has a terrible accident where she breaks her arm, a couple ribs, has fractures all over her body and will never be able to perform in action films again (her favorites) and well you know all the problems her body will have.... And MC was too busy filming to go accompany her in the hospital and coincidentally wasn't able to get there till the press and paparazzi left (Yeah just coincidentally hu)...... Bruh Jing Xiu's love is f*cking endless and irrational cuz I'd never be able to forgive that, like I'd really want to especially seeing how hard Youyan tries and how much she hates herself cuz she realizes her mistakes of chasing ethereal fame over a real human relationship, a person that truly loved her, she realizes she f*cked up bad, well tbh I really forgave her by the end, her redemption is really believable and later on you really understand why it all happened, I guess I just have never loved someone so much to give them a chance from doing such f*cked stuff, but well I'd really forgive Youyan

all right so these f*ckers are the reason MC has such low self-esteem, self-confidence and such, they're a conservative and pretentious old Chinese couple that are both teachers and care about face and such a lot.

They planned all of MCs life and have had her in a short leash all her life wanting her to follow a woman's path and marry a man they've of course chosen for her, so MC has always been scared to step out of line but when they're gonna force her into marriage she finally stands up for herself and refuses, she's always had a dream of being a musician and asks her parents to support her, so they throw her out of the house saying she's a f*cking failure, this leads to a lot of problems, MC has never grown a spine and the primary reason her first shitty manager f*cked her up so bad is cuz she just can't stand up to people.

So they do that and later MC tries to find her mom after she's become a bit famous and feels will get their respect now as a person, but there were some rumours at the time she was a lesbian with Jing Xiu and mom asks her to clear it up, MC says they're true wanting to be honest with her mom, so mom calls her a disgusting embarrassment to the family and that she's ashamed to have such a daughter, yeah commendable parenting, later on they also even make Jing Xiu a confident person start questioning herself by being just the most pretentious and hatable sacks of shit, I really wanted to beat the sh*t out of them both to teach them to think before they speak garbage

MC proposing to FL with a song? My god bro it got me right in the kokoro haha, it was too damn sweet and it hit just right and it was an earned moment with how MC' singing has been used through the story and how much it means to Jing Xiu

that Jing Xiu also went back in time after finding out about Ji Youyan's death

Starting with giving the panda bracelet that she never got a chance to give to Jing Xiu from her last life. Then making her a birthday cake for Jing Xiu's bday, cuddling up to her to help relieve her bad menstrual cramps, the list goes on and on!!! But Jing Xiu's frozen heart starts to thaw with Ji Youyan's persistance