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In an accident, he agreed to a “mu*der exchange” with a lunatic.

He regretted it, he was afraid, but he was threatened and unable to escape.

He came to like it, he was addicted, he fell in love.

Everything came crashing down.

He was insane.



Mysterious yandere top x callous straight bottom

Associated Names
One entry per line
Related Series
Turns Out I’m Crazy (1)
Monster (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Sad and tragedy novels
  2. No Hope for the Future
  3. I think their just a little crazy from the head.
  4. If youre looking for crippling depression
  5. BLs that sent shivers up my spine

Latest Release

Date Group Release
12/03/22 Golden Pavilion c28
09/29/22 Golden Pavilion c27
09/02/22 Golden Pavilion c26
02/27/22 Golden Pavilion c25
11/23/21 Golden Pavilion c24
06/15/21 Golden Pavilion c23
12/26/20 Golden Pavilion c22
12/25/20 Golden Pavilion c21
12/13/20 Golden Pavilion c20
05/25/20 Golden Pavilion c19
05/03/20 Golden Pavilion c18
04/30/20 Golden Pavilion c17
04/24/20 Golden Pavilion c16
04/22/20 Golden Pavilion c15
04/21/20 Golden Pavilion c14
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Write a Review
29 Reviews sorted by

Lanemesis rated it
April 29, 2020
Status: c16
I have complicated feeling bout this novel. It's a good story, dark and sweet in it's own way. The psychological scenes was also good. The way the ending was executed that had me surprised, the ending was a really tragedy in my eyes.

... more>>

MC was mentally unstable, and was in sanatorium for about ten years? ML was his brother, step? They didn't have blood relation at all. The main story showed ML as the insane yandere party, but truthfully it's only MC's delusion. He loved his brother, but reality was hard, they couldn't be together. Because of pressure and his past, he broke down. ML (the real version) only loved him as a brother, and already married and have a kid. In the end, MC ran from the sanatorium and headed towards a beach, meeting Hare (ML in delusion) and walked towards the sea to became one with nature.


Although kinda sad, but the ending was quite acceptable since I, myself, couldn't bring to imagine the two lived but couldn't be together. So, I could only said, well done, author. The emotional roller-coaster finally ended and I'm going to take a break from this kind of story.

Overall, if you're seeking for a good yandere story with psychological tone and plot twist, this is a good one. <<less
33 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
KT123 rated it
December 17, 2020
Status: Completed
I read the manhua; it took me 4 days to finish and HOLY sh*t was this an emotional roller coaster.

The storyline was unbelievably MAD.

The entire plot was the self and mass delusion of its main character's fractured mind so conflicted by traumatic events

Everytime I read this I had the urge to pull my hair and scream. Overall this was a good read and I don't plan on reading the novel. This has been too much for me.
16 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Suibian Muah
Suibian Muah rated it
April 8, 2020
Status: --
Manhua got me so confuse and I feel like a fool after finish that. The story is mind blowing and I cannot wait to get the deep detail out of novel.

[At the end of the day, what is real and what is illusion? Is the reality is really the reality? To what content do you believe the reality is not the shadow?]
12 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
1Sami rated it
June 26, 2020
Status: c19
It's dark and twisted but beautiful and sad at the same time. I don't really know how to explain it but I love it.
9 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Fafu rated it
June 21, 2020
Status: Completed
Omg. I really can't explain how shock I'm.

The story line is really really unbelievable crazy. I got sway out and got confuse after finished the full manhwa version.

Crazyy.. I'm crying like crazyy, I can't stop it.

The storyy really written well and the ending, the plottwist than I couldn't sver imagine at first.

So dark yet beautiful story. I love this story very very much.
9 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Pixil rated it
April 9, 2020
Status: c8
Holy ship! Don't read this novel if you don't wanna cry ???

I read the manhua (completed) of this after the translated chapters got me hooked and I regret it ??? Holy hell like I was feeling too many emotions at the ending. I don't even know if I truly understood what happened. I was so upset, confused and angry. Is it a spoiler to say it's an open ending? I wanna curse the author so much for taking me through an emotional roller coaster through the 4 hours I spent... more>> reading it ?

I can't say this story was terrible. I rated it four stars for Pete's sake. I don't know if I would've decided to read it knowing what I do now however.

The novel was very intriguing. There were morally ambiguous and downright immoral actions that were taken. It was fascinating to see how the characters thought of things and how they reacted. All in all, it was a decent read.

If you don't want heartache though, best to stay away. I took internal damage reading this. <<less
7 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
crystallize rated it
March 14, 2021
Status: Completed
don't recommend you to read it. At all. Like seriously. I logged in to this account after a long time just to warn you guys. If I could I want to forget this. But this novel is beautifully well done. I still regret reading though.

also don't listen to the "open ending" people say this has. Although theoritically it was an open ending, realistically it's not.

atleast god bless the author for providing an explanation for this novel.
5 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Savijane5 rated it
December 19, 2021
Status: Completed
This is a masterpiece but I won't complete nor reread it again^^ (bcs my heart is too fragile to stand this) I really liked the author's creation♥️ —don't mind my english.
4 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Asphyxia778 rated it
June 12, 2021
Status: Completed
This is so good that I had to mtl it to complete.

This is what a proper psychological thriller should be like. I was constantly on edge and afraid for the protagonist but the final twist caught me by surprise and I enjoyed it immensely. The MC's realization and reveal of the tragedy is gorgeous. We finally see the truth hidden as it seeps through the cracks and finally hits us in the feels with a gut punch. The author's skill to be able to create such a great story is... more>> commendable. (I have also read the manga but I think the novel has more emotion to it)

The ending also was the best. Because for the MC that was the best outcome.

Will recommend it to everyone. <<less
4 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
November 17, 2021
Status: --
This story was full of plot twist and turn. It pains me so much of what is really going on. It blows my mind. I’m glad I’ve read it. Though i’m still sad of what happened TT. ... more>>

Hare apparently was an illusion Zach made up in his head. Turns out Hare wasn’t the crazy psychopath but Zach was. Towards the end Hare gave Zach the gun to shoot the rabbit, but really he was giving Zach the chance to kill him. Zach shot him and when Hare was no where to be found Hare, then told Zach now he knows Zach never love him and abandon him like how they abandon him. How he won’t beat, chose him or betray him. He’ll just pretend he is the only one Zach see and love, and that Zach love him repeatedly. Zach found Hare barely alive and said, “ You finally got me... There only one late step then... Kill me. Then my wish will be filled and it’ll be time for you to wake up. However isn’t it a shame that we have to end things so soon... ? This should have ended on the 1st of February. I want to spend more time with you. Have you guess it, Zach? Looks like you have... You’ve guessed it... All off this. This is a dream of yours... Alright. My Zachary... It’s time to say goodbye. It’ll be alright. Don’t be afraid. We’ll meet again... Like before... As long as you don’t mind me showing myself to you as a phantom... Then everything can restart... So don’t you cry... (I went back to read these part and finally understand why Hare had said those word. After all, Hare was an illusion, but at least he didn’t die right... ?T_T)

3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Xuchi rated it
June 26, 2021
Status: --
I haven't read the whole novel yet but remember reading the manhwa years ago in webcomics, it was the first psychological story I read. I was left in awe after I read the ending. I was so shocked and amazed that I became distracted for days because of it, thats how good it was


From what I remember from reading the manhwa, the MC is delusional and everything that happened was actually only made up in his head. He has 'problems', and is kept in a sanatorium and in the end he escapes, goes to a beach and drowns himself. (Can't find the drowning chapter online fsr but I clearly remember it happening though-)

3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
AImmortalZ rated it
October 10, 2022
Status: Completed
I finished 90 chapters in one day and I felt like I rode a rollercoaster this is one of the saddest bl I have ever read because of the ending. The plot twist was truly good.
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Ppkk85 rated it
October 2, 2022
Status: Completed
I'm depressed now.

MC's dream life is scary and torturous, but his reality life is even more sad and depressing. In his dream ML loves him and the obsessive kind of love. In reality ML did not love him enough to fight against all odds, but choose to love him as a brother only. There's just no happy ending for MC. I'm so sad.

Although, I'm sad and desperately wishing for MC find his happiness and peace, the story was great and interesting. I'm glad that I read it.
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
AX-Skye rated it
July 13, 2022
Status: Completed

Listen to those who says that you shouldn't read this. The tragedy tag isn't just a show!!

I finished the manhwa as well, they are both very beautiful! But, as I said I wouldn't reconmmend this if you have a weak heart cause.. Yeah the MC has mental problems, and it turns out the whole plot was just a delusion of his, and the ML who is his step bro, doesn't actually like him as a lover. Thus hare was born. At the end the MC drowned himself at the beach to become one with nature. Its was a rollercoster that I do not want to experience again, ever.

But I do hope that, in the mc's afterlife, he gets his happy ending!!

2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
CoffeeForMyLazySelf rated it
June 10, 2021
Status: --
When I came across this novel, I realized by reading the description that this is the novel version of a manhua i've read years ago.

Memories about the manhua flooded in my mind, so I decided to write this comment.

All I have to say is that prepare to be shooked hehe.

... more>>

The ending is really shocking to me, it turned out to be that way... MC is just delusional (you'll know what I mean if you read). It just made me go "Wow.... its... really unexpected."

It also broke my heart that time when I read the last chapter. (won't say why, might reduce the thrill)

Wishing that MC lives a good life next life!


Planning to read this novel in the future! Have a nice time reading and prepare your tissues if you get emotional easily! <<less
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
brexic rated it
September 17, 2020
Status: --
This is truly a piece of art. Not a fan of tragedy but this one is well executed. I actually read this first from manhua and heeeey despite the mu*ders that occured I was just taking it lightly as the colors in the manhua are light. Really contradicting with the story's theme. I did not expect such plot twist. So really twisted, ah.
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
PeopleLikeUS rated it
April 18, 2020
Status: prologue
I've read the manhua. Don't think I'm going to read the novel, I don't want to go through it again since I already know the ending... But if you haven't seen or heard of it before and this interests you, go for it. Just take the drama, psychological, and tragedy tags seriously.


Truly a tragedy either way. Feel bad for the protagonist, and both ML ver.1 and ML ver.2

2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Marinette rated it
April 17, 2020
Status: --
After reading the first chapters here I checked the web comic that is finished and translated. And wow.

I don't know if I like it but I definitely have conflicting and a storm of emotions after finishing it.

... more>>

The ML wasn't a yandere. The whole story was the delusions of a broken mind of the protagonist that is so conflicted by trauma and abuses he started to imagine the ML who he saw was dependent to him when they kids as his support. To the point he relive his trauma and imagine how everything could be fix if the ML (that he imagined to be in love with him romantically) would fix and save him.

The ML we see are the protagonist's version / delusions as he imagined that he's a yandere in love with him.

It's kinda like he imagine his the ML in his delusions who has a fiancé was loved by their father and was stalked by someone (him).

It's quite twisted and unique very well executed.

It was a shock the protagonist was the yandere but can't really blame him. I'm just shocked. He got so much traumatize to the point he completely reject reality and prefer reliving his past with a loving ML and no abuses or r*pes. While his brother ML cares about protagonist but only as a brother. It's the protagonist in the end that wants more (in*est)... Yikes. I have conflicting feelings about this and the protagonist....

2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
April 3, 2020
Status: prologue
Alright, I haven't read the novel, but I've read the manhua (translated in the webcomics app) and it was mindblowing.

You don't know what's real and what's not and it's terrifying but intriguing.

I'm gonna go read the novel now!

Definitely give it a try!
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
ImGoodBro rated it
August 17, 2023
Status: Completed
Accidentally gave it three stars... It should be Five

Oh boy...

I've got some tales. I read this as a Manhua some years ago.

... more>>

I can say that it left a deep scar on me that I badly want to forgot.



i was like an infant to this world of manhuas and through this, I came to find out that I preferred yamderes. Well, you know the drill I kept waiting for it everyweek and after some time of not checking, during the later parts, I read the new chapters and came across the ending. I was on a speechless scale of disturbed when I didn't even dare to check the next chapter after the revelation...


But! This is my overall review!😊

Kill me

1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
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