When he was a child, he was forced to beg in streets. He saw his father with a new child (adopted brother), but the father passed him without recognozing him.

At first we were told that he just fell into water by himself.

Then we were told that he wanted to retrieve his brother's basketball ball, that fell into water. MC never told this to anyone, because he didn't want his brother to feel guilty (MC iS a sIn KeEpEr). But then he revealed it in a most dramatic moment, to invoke guilt in his brother.

BUT THEN we were told that he actually was drowned by his father's former friend as an act of revenge. MC never told this to anyone, because he didn't want his father to feel guilty (MC iS a sIn KeEpEr). But then he revealed it in a most dramatic moment, to invoke guilt in his father.

The author squized every drop of blood from thig dog, didn't they?

How does second and third version coexists? I have no idea, and by that point didn't care.

MC's experience as a kidnapped/trafficked child is very heartbreaking. His experience is very painful yet he never stopped being strong and always believe in his family. So when he realize that his father and brother preferred the adopted one, it pained him. They misunderstood him until He gave up hoping for them to love him.

Im so glad that MC met ML. ML believe in him and figure out that MC is strong willed yet have a very soft heart. Its also cute that when ML realize his feeling he is very conflicted cause of their age gap. But ML respect MC very much so he just supported MCs decision. MC was the first one to confess.

Im also happy that MC was given a second chance to be happy.

One character I adore is Qianqian.. He was originally the villain of the novel. In the original plot after MC died, Qianqian killed Lu Ying (the protagonist). When MC met Qianqian in the second life, he then realize that Qianqian became the villain cause he took revenge for MC. It was then revealed that Qian is one of the children MC protected while in the hands of the traffickers.

The dark side of the novel really makes me cry specially when MCs father investigated MCs past and found that many children were killed and tortured by the traffickers 😭😭

He even found a room full of blood and saw a star drawn by blood. He then realize that MC was tortured in that room and the star was what he taught MC when he is a child 😭😭

Like his family accusing him of not saving the adoptive brother, several times, when it happened because MC is deaf on one ear.

He never told them he’s deaf, never clarified it, but somehow the family is at fault for thinking badly of him.

Or they are blamed for stuff that happened while he was held hostage, the father once met him but walked away without helping.

The father didn’t recognise that the 10+ years old kid is MC, and MC didn’t say anything when they met, but somehow the father is at fault.

because the MC was kidnapped, ab*sed and made to beg for money on the streets for years. He was clinging onto the hope that his dad would save him and when he finally saw his dad he was elated and grabbed onto him only to be brushed away in disgust while his dad went away carrying another child. As for the adopted kid, he threw away meds he was supposed to be taking on daily basis and the MC could see him doing it from his room and this is not the only thing that kid does that leads to the MC not liking him. The reason why the MC doesn't like him is not only because the adopted kid took what was his, its mainly because the MC is the only one who could clearly see how toxic the adopted kid was being. Like yeah that kid has his insecurities and all but that's no way to take advantage of other people's love towards you.

1. OG MC (villain adoptive brother) refused to cure his asthma because he like to use that to make people feel bad for him and take his side. By being sick, friends and his adoptive father and brother would always take his side. He knew this and always intentionally never bring his medicine and always throw away his medicine to make it seems like MC is attacking him whenever he has an asthma attack.
2. He helped his real father and brother drugged and killed his adoptive father. Although he found out later that the drug he was giving his adoptive father would kill him so he switch the drug, he did not do it because of good intention but only did it because he knew that if that adoptive father die he would be suspected. He also never told his adoptive brother this because he was afraid they would disowned him. He is someone who used a lot of money and wanted to keep his adoptive family because they are rich, not because he love them.
3. He helped his real father and brother killed his adoptive brother by giving the GPS tracker in a charm to his adoptive brother so they can create a car crash accident to kill the adoptive brother. He claim to be innocent and did not know that the charm has GPS tracker but he lied. Why did I know that he lied? Because he knew his real father switched his adoptive father medicine to kill him but hide the truth so there is no way he would not know there is something wrong with the charm since the charm was given to him by his real father to give to his adoptive family.
4. If you read the extras, you will get the real ending in the original book where the og MC help his real father and brother steal his adoptive family wealth and then threw the adoptive family away when they became poor. He pretended to be innocent and said that he found his real family so he left his adoptive family but the real reason was because his adoptive family became poor and he didn't want them anymore.
5. There was also the part where he stole MC painting and pretended the painting was his and lied about it. The sad thing was that when it was exposed, MC real father and brother still sided with the adoptive brother instead of MC. The villain (adoptive bro/og mc) has all the love from his real and adoptive family while MC only have the love from ML and his family.

All in all, I supported MC leaving his real family. There were time when it was sad for his real brother and father but I think that was probably the dead mom teaching them a lesson. They don't deserved MC love since MC gave them many chances and they always gave up MC for the adoptive son. Later they only regretted it because they were ashamed of themselves and wanted to take MC back to get rid of their guilt. I still do not believe they love the MC that much.

Good thing is that villain (og mc) was finally disowned in the end from his assistance of killing his adoptive family. He was given a chunk of money to live by himself by his adoptive family but he wasted all the money and was finally sold off.

OKAY! It's like the story kept getting deeper, like something was dramatically uncovered, then tadah! There's more! And you know what?!?!! There's more underneath it! As the story progresses, more about the past is revealed. I can't even comprehensively do a review for this because of the mixed emotions. Do give it a try please, I want someone to feel my frustrations too.

One thing I can clearly say is that If I were to reincarnate in this novel I'm gonna punch everyone, then punch myself next. OH AND YEA BLAME THE ADULTS! COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY PEOPLE

MC: MC has undergone so much trauma especially under adults. So he grew up shouldering everything by himself, manning up and taking responsibility as a child. And thinking of his world during his childhood, his world is very small! Basically he had no knowledge on how to cope up, how to properly resolve issues, how to defend himself intellectually, he basically grew wild without any fostering (aside from the 5 years of pampering childhood). His concepts, principles, etc. is not fully developed or mature enough to properly integrate into the society. So I understand how he just keeps bottling everything up. He is a survivor, he endures every ab*se coming his way, he can attack but he is wired to defend and protect others and not himself (subtle unintentional psychological suggestions by his mom to protect).

MC's father

This dad is a good father in terms of caring and as a provider (as can be seen by his treatment with yunning), but fails to be a father where it truly matters. He has an escape mentality, which was earlier on criticized by his wife but he didn't dwell to correct it, he loves all his sons but feeling alone is not enough to fill his supposed roles as a father. But its hard to also blame him as he constantly mourns for his wife. So how can he properly give love to others when he himself is broken. I know other single parents can do it. But after experiencing depression myself, if I was placed in his shoes, I wouldn't even know how I will function. It would be great if I can take courage and live for my sons, but there's also a chance to numb myself with work to be able to provide financially (to the point that he became s*upid in trusting the wrong people) and let grief overtake me when alone.

MC's brother:

MC's brother also loves MC on his own way but it was overshadowed by his grievances, which he soon realizes include his own frustration for himself and guilt, towards MC. moreover, as his father started his escape mentality, he has to clean up all the mess left behind and take care of his remaining loved ones at a very young age in the midst of despair.

Yunning (adopted kid)

Its also hard to blame him. He is adopted and being adopted doesn't give him any security. He also knows that the love that he experiences from his adopted family is just borrowed that's why he keeps on affirming people's love for him by not taking the asthma inhalers or meds at all times and lost his own identity just to conform to the character that he thinks people around him wants him to be. His heart is full of holes that even if he was showered with love by the people around him, he still can't get enough.

In general, I really feel bad whenever adopted children were depicted as a 2 dimensional villain. Like, its not their fault to be an orphan. They just want a small place on earth that they can call their own to feel their sense of existence. Like all others as stated in Sigmund Freud's argument about the importance of parental relationships on psychological development were supported by one of Harlow's experiments, where infant monkeys were placed in cages with two wire mothers, one with a bottle and one covered in soft cloth. The monkeys would go to the wire mother for food, but spent most of their time with the cloth mother. When frightened, they would seek comfort from the cloth mother. It Showed that babies have social and physical needs, and that they need a secure base to feel safe and gain confidence.

for examples of the green tea-ness: When MC returns home, he says there is a new refurbished room... meaning they had a whole extra room when they adopted, but Chose to move the adopted son into his old room. MC's mother's paintings? Given to adopted son (who he has Never met). The tree that was planted when MC was born? Cut down for adopted son. MC's clothes? Adopted son's clothes. MC returned to a home that erased all traces of him, and adopted son lets the brother and the father essentially use him to replace MC (eg, when brother bought adopted son a basketball, he is aware that 1. He doesnt like basketball, 2. MC is the one that likes basketball and 3. Brother subconsciously thought of his "precious little brother" when he saw the basketball and is mixing up the two brothers, AND CHOOSES NOT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THAT). In the first life, adopted son got a Master Art Teacher (Master Yang) because he accidentally got a hold of MC's art teacher's (Old Man Li) painting, LIED and said he painted it, and the only person that could verify (Master Yan) is sick and dying from grief. (The only reason Master Yan is still alive in the second life is because MC has actual proof of Old Man Li's life/house/posessions and it renewed his vigor, unlike adopted son's LIE that it was just Some Old Man at the park he chatted with)

When we met Mo Yinxue, my first impression of him was, Finally, we have the father/brother figure replacement that MC desperately needs in his life, especially in the instances where the narrative directly compares Mo Yinxue with MC's brother (a ladder almost fell on MC and both Mo Yinxue and brother caught it at the same time, but only Mo Yinxue got thanks) and father (when MC encounters trouble at school, father jumps to blaming and punishing MC where as Mo Yinxue starts on MC's side and teaches him better tactics for encountering bullies in private.) He's even old enough to be MC's guardian. I was happy that through MC's relationship with Mo Yinxue, MC can heal the trauma that he got from brother and father.

When we meet Xia YiQian, there's an air of mystery and tragedy around him, that him and MC has some history they share cuz of the trafficking incident, and that he tried to kill adopted son in the past life when MC succumbed to his cancer. Then, he transfers to MC's schools starts out-green-tea-b*txhing the adopted son out of revenge and seems to have had special transmigrated/dream-something circumstances like MC. Hear I thought, yes, introducing the black-belly ML :). I like him already. And MC thinks he's cute and sickly QianQian. Typical two faced ML behaviour. Very age-appropriate...

...

.

WRONG!!

I did some spoilers-digging cuz I was starting to get a sick gut feeling:

THE OLD MAN MO YINXUE IS THE ML!!!!!!! it makes me upset because I've always thought of MC as an extremely traumatized child. And here is a guardian figure, being patient, understanding, taking care of his health, invested in his studies and talents. It honestly sucks. I feel sick that Mo Yinxue is essentially father, bigbrother AND lover to MC.

"You don't really think it's their fault? You are innocent and have been deceived, right?"

Mo Yinxue, is such a huge example of this - his initial interaction with Lu Yu'an is seeing him in the aftermath of a fight (that LYA won). But MYX is so observant and so focused on LYA that he's the one who notices and points out LYA can paint, has hearing issues, is wary of being in vulnerable situations, and so much more. Their relationship is built so solidly thanks to MYX not just assuming LYA is some sort of gangster bad boy on their first meeting.

Our MC was lost as a child and found by child traffickers. He was horrendously ab*sed, along with many other children. After escaping, he lived as a son of a woman who was also a trafficker victim. However, she married a very abusive man, and the cycle continued.

Later, MC was found by his biological family and returned home. Unfortunately, they had adopted another boy, who was now a firm member of their family, leaving MC to feel insecure. He just could not accept this adopted child no matter what. Because of that, a rift grew between him and his family.

After trying so many times and being misunderstood so many times, MC gave up hope of ever reconciling. He then grew very sick and died of gastric cancer.

Then he was reborn.

He no longer craved their love and affection. He gave them chance after chance, but ultimately, he severed their relationship for good, and never looked back.

Why do I like this novel so much? Well, it was heartbreaking. Reading about how much he was misunderstood by everyone just broke me. Reading about his experiences after getting lost just made me cry. He lives to protect the weak and vulblnerable, no matter what effect it has on his body, but yet never takes credit for his kindness. He doesn't do it for attention or glory. He does it because he wants to, and thatnis who he is. That's why I love this MC and want to hug him.

In a world of darkness, barely knowing any warmth past the age of 5 years old, when he got lost, he met someone who thinks he is already excellent. Someone he can trust absolutely, who has his back and believes he is worthy. This is our ML. I am completely on Team MC, so I won't talk too much about ML. He was ok, maybe a little creepy for crushing on a student, but hey, that's just me.

Other noteworthy things about the book: It has a lot to do with ancient chinese painting and lost arts from previous dynasties. MC doesn't believe he is good at painting, but his skill and knowledge are slowly revealed little by little. He is a genius painter and knowledgable in restoration techniques taught by his master. MC is also deaf in his right ear, a fact he hides for a very long time.

The face-slapping is more poignant for me because unlike some other rebirth novels, this one lets you peek into others' POV, so we see as they go through annoyance, disappointment, irritation, to realization, guilt, and shame. I saw it all with every turn of the so-called page.

The ending was abrupt and I didn't read the extras, but MC is just about to head to uni. The end.