Flower Vase


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He’s only acted out one play properly in his life.

That was to pretend he didn’t love that person.


In the bright and dazzling entertainment circle, the older one is, the more fetters one is shackled with. As such, Gu Yan makes the most realistic choice — accepting the help of big financial backer Qin Zhiyuan and becoming a flower vase.

Satisfying a financial backer in bed isn’t anything too difficult, and Gu Yan even has a knack for maintaining such a relationship over the long years — smiling when he has to, and feigning ignorance when it’s necessary, no matter if it’s overlooking gossipy s*x scandals or the sweet-sounding fake-real words spoken by that man…

The flower vase’s heart is elsewhere, the financial backer’s love is absent, all debts are bought and paid for. With his mouth curved into a perfect arc of a smile, Gu Yan does his utmost to play the most flawless role in his life, all the while hiding those feelings that he shouldn’t have in his heart…

Associated Names
One entry per line
Related Series
Professional Body Double (2)
Perfection (2)
Don’t Be a Kept Man (1)
Love Late (1)
The Film Emperor (1)
How Can I Get Rid of Him (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Novels that are GREAT and MEMORABLE
  2. Favourite BL must read
  3. in*est or Not : Family Love Novels
  4. list of finished but would not read again really
  5. BL! <3 part 2

Latest Release

Date Group Release
02/08/23 Shrimp Chips Translations v2ex4
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02/08/23 Shrimp Chips Translations v2ex2
02/08/23 Shrimp Chips Translations v2ex1
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02/06/23 Shrimp Chips Translations v2c18
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02/05/23 Shrimp Chips Translations v2c16
02/05/23 Shrimp Chips Translations v2c15
02/04/23 Shrimp Chips Translations v2c14
02/03/23 Shrimp Chips Translations v2c13
02/03/23 Shrimp Chips Translations v2c12
02/02/23 Shrimp Chips Translations v1 extra 2
02/02/23 Shrimp Chips Translations v1 extra 1
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21 Reviews sorted by

Aria0107 rated it
June 26, 2020
Status: --
I finished reading it all and enjoyed the story and the characters. The shou MC, Gu Yan, is a vase, a pretty face actor who can't act. The ML, Qin Zhiyuan, is his gold master.

I don't find many stories where the MC is the first to fall in love in the relationship and where his love seems to equal that of the ML, which is what I really liked. Usually in other stories, it feels like the MC never really reciprocates as much love as their other does. I loved... more>> that the MC's love is always steadfast. Even when he realized that the ML didn't love him, MC didn't chase others or get into anything ambiguous with third-wheels. MC maturely communicated that he could only play a leading role, not a passerby character, and basically waited for the ML's wounded heart to heal.


It definitely hurt to realize that the ML had a secret love (unreciprocated) in his heart while it seemed like he was getting serious with the MC, only to discover that the MC was like a rebound for his broken heart. I feel like people won't like ML for that but I find that part of him to be human, a weak heart that desires companionship in tough times.

MC has a strong heart, refusing to play anything less than a lead, and ends their foster relationship. Both take it really maturely and are grateful for each other's companionship through the years.


The development of their fostering relationship to its dissolution and the progression from friends to lovers was great. The second half starts with focusing on the ML with his introspection, development, and journey. He enjoys their continued relationship as friends but realizes that something's missing; his heart is still going through the transition of losing a love but he tries to move forward by listening to MC's advice. When he discovers the extent of MC's love for him, he tries his best to pursue MC, afraid that he wouldn't wait for him.


I loved how the ML started learning how to cook to pursue MC (MC is a really good cook and his dreams involved him cooking). Meanwhile, the MC is eating all his badly cooked food and even giving him pointers back; one director tasted a dumpling and said he finally knew what love was. Haha.

I loved that MC definitely waited for him. At one point I was thinking if he was playing some 4-d chess after his conversation with his doctor. Like damn is the MC really forward in pursuing his dream, in both his careers and his love, that I too felt relief when he's finally got it all in his grasp.


The MC is forward, humorous, mature and intelligent. He has amazing EQ to understand others. He also knows his own flaws but isn't shy to accept praise for his strengths like his face haha.

MTL is pretty easy, though the story is more than the 40 chapter status listed. <<less
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emiliers rated it
May 18, 2021
Status: Completed
EDIT:// Oh no, I'm translating this now, haha. Usually I don't rate stories I'm translating, but since I rated this before I started translating (and can't delete ratings oops), forgive me and my really biased review just this once, all right?

Anyway, most of the review below is about the raws (and the translation mentioned is the Xiao's Yaoi Playground one, which is indeed fairly good! and I wish they had continued).

But, yeah, I decided to pick this up after a year and a half of translation inactivity, since I've been... more>> itching to reread it and decided it'd probably be easier to translate as I do. Again, I want to emphasize that this really isn't a scum abuse crematorium story; it's a story about two people learning to build a relationship together. It starts out a bit angsty and ends extremely sweetly. Don't come in expecting some super dramatic wife-chasing! It's a fairly straightforward romance, all told, actually. //ENDEDIT

Oh no, this is actually pretty good!

So, while this can be kind of nominally seen as a scum abuse story, it's probably the most realistic one I've read so far, in that the MC isn't a super doormat-esque white lotus, and the ML isn't the scum of the absolute earth before repentance. They both feel like genuine people in a real situation that is (sort of) beyond their control, which is helped a lot by the author's really smooth writing. You can tell this author actually knows how to write -- there's poignancy, but in a very down-to-earth kind of way in her word choices and sentence structures. (And the translation is quite good too!)

Anyway, since the summary on Jinjiang (and here) are so short, here are the basics: MC is an actor who is really bad at acting, but took it up initially in order to pay off his family's debt; he's successful because of his beautiful face and his sugar daddy/gold backer, and he knows it, owns up to it, and doesn't really feel bad about it. ML is MC's gold backer who took him in during his darkest times, which is why MC fell in love with him. ML is kind and polite to MC, but treats him exactly as he is -- a s*x partner he has fun with, but doesn't really think much about outside of their exchanges.

What I find really refreshing about the MC and ML dynamic is that the MC isn't a pushover or a white lotus, but neither is he resentful or vengeful. He's accepting of who/what he is and his relationship with the ML. Even when the ML picks up another sugar baby, the MC doesn't begrudge either of them and simply does what he does best -- win back the ML's attention. The MC can also be really sassy, even towards the ML, and he's very self-aware, confident, and sure of his worth. At the beginning of the story, he's in kind of an equilibrium with the ML, where he loves him, but he knows the ML doesn't love him back -- and he accepts this, and their relationship, as is.


And while the ML does ostensibly "scummy" things such as picking up other sugar babies (with the narrative implying obliquely that he's slept with them off-screen), this kind of "straying" is actually within the parameters of their relationship (which is defined by the ML giving the MC industry support in exchange for s*x, essentially), so the MC is neither very surprised about it nor very hung up over it. (I think there's the implication that this has happened before, and the MC has always managed to capture back his attention.)

I think this kind of contractual relationship is a lot more palatable to me, even as the scum is still kind of scummy, than other scum gong/cheap shou relationships I've read. Especially because there was no coercion (at least on ML's part) regarding the contract in the first place -- and the MC himself isn't really super attached to his acting job. In this case, the two parties both know where they stand, and there's no subterfuge or lying going on, which is already miles better than most other scum abuse novels.

But the turning point really comes when, after an almost-incident between the MC and ML's brother, the ML suddenly starts treating MC as a genuine lover, to the point that, while still wary, the MC begins to believe that he can settle down in this new state of affairs. Of course, things come crashing down -- literally! -- in a car accident, of all places, when the MC realizes that the ML has a man (a mutual acquaintance) that he has been in love with since his school years, and the only reason that the ML begins treating MC as a lover is that this man is 1) 100% straight and 2) getting married! And in treating MC as a lover even when he wasn't being genuine, the ML completely breaks the unspoken rules of the contract -- because while the ML actually does genuinely want to forget his old love, he was still just using MC to try and forget his own pain, without actually caring about MC himself.

And! The great part is that the MC recognizes this the moment he realizes and breaks up with ML almost immediately. While he can accept a contractual relationship with the other person, he refuses to be used as a substitute or second best -- which is pretty fantastic all around.


Admittedly, there are some inelegant writing moments here, since midway through the narrative, the author suddenly switches to the ML's perspective basically mid-chapter. I originally thought we were just doing the usual Chinese writing thing of hopping from perspective to perspective, but nope. We stay in ML's mind for basically almost the entire rest of the book (except for like the final few chapters). And while I think the choice was overall good (and very reminiscent of "classic" scum abuse novels), it is a bit awkwardly executed.

I also find the ML in this story a lot more forgivable/palatable than most other scum MLs, simply because you can kind of understand where he's coming from. He doesn't hurt the MC out of genuine malice or distaste or even apathy, but out of carelessness because he doesn't value MC enough to think too deeply about the other's feelings. And the author definitely works the story to make ML realize this -- and make amends.


I personally really liked the ML's slow realization that he likes MC more than as just a bed partner, and that he genuinely misses the other because of all the time they spent together. There's no super dramatic chase scenes or abject begging to be taken back either! The ML and the MC slowly go back to being normal friends before the ML then slowly begins to try and show MC how much he's valued.

For instance, during the car accident, the MC damaged his hand in an effort to protect ML and so the MC can no longer pursue his dream of being a chef. When the ML finds out, he not only tries to support MC through the PT for his hand but also tries to learn how to cook! I was genuinely bowled over by how charming I found the descriptions of ML spending basically months trying to learn how to cook something even slightly edible and then being critiqued to heck and back when the MC actually tastes one of his dishes, haha.

In general, I found that the whole repentance bits are done really well and are actually pretty sweet, and I have to say, this is honestly the first scum ML I've ever rooted for.

...I did facepalm quite a bit in the ML's initial few chapters, though, since he spent literally three chapters missing MC and acting like he had no idea why.


I really like the author's framing here too. Instead of the ML groveling/repenting to get the MC back, here the ML is shown to be remorseful because he knew he was wrong. Also, while he does want to get back with MC, the author is very deliberate in showing that the ML does nice things for MC because the ML loves him and will continue to treat him well even if MC never agrees to get back together with him. Now that's some actual character development and love right there!

And even when in the final several chapters it pulls some sort-of drama (from outside forces)...


Like the MC says, the genre suddenly changed from a romantic drama to a gangster thriller lmao! But all-in-all, it was solved fairly realistically (even if ML does end up in the hospital with a cracked bone -- from falling off the stairs, not even from being beaten up) and the whole dramatic moment feels like just an excuse for more sweetness.

Even the previous moments before that, with "cliche" (author/MC's words) drama of the father trying to warn away his son's "boyfriend" just ended up really sweetening the MC and ML's relationship. So, yeah, 10/10 would recommend.


It also helps that the MC and ML have a lot of really great, genuine chemistry together. They have great dialogue and banter, and it's always fun to read the MC snidely commenting on something that the ML did, and the ML just owning up to it as if he had nothing to be ashamed of. These two are so charming and fun together, especially in the latter third of the novel, that it's hard not to want them back together again. And I guess that says it all -- because a novel with a scum ML that makes me actually want him to get back together with the MC? Now that is a rare treasure right there.

TLDR; Uh, probably the best novel in its genre I've read thus far. Not a traditional scum abuse narrative, and all the better for it. In fact, this novel stops being abusive around, uh, two-thirds in? So if you want knives, this won't exactly deliver, but if you want some real, genuine people trying to form a real, genuine relationship with each other, then you definitely don't want to miss this.

Also, this won't mean anything to the people reading the translation, since it's not far enough along, but for those interested in Director Lin's story, it's fifty chapters and called "Old Dreams", and the comments on Jinjiang makes it sound like a more traditional scum abuse story so... That's exciting? <<less
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Sonata123 rated it
August 6, 2021
Status: Completed
It's a nice story. It's nicely written. The MC is a nice guy, the ML is a nice guy, they resolve the problems in a nice way. No no angst, no drama, no nothing. It's terribly bland. There is no joy without heartache - and there is no heartache when the MC is fine with everything. Fine with being a kept lover, fine with letting the ML go, fine with accepting him back. It's kinda boring, you can't even sympathize because the MC is so calm about everything. And the... more>> ML repents and wins him back by... cooking shitty food? Whatever. <<less
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Chiaroscuro rated it
February 2, 2021
Status: Completed
This is the kind of pain that slowly bled you to death. It feels melancholic and very real. Both MC and ML are flawed people. Although people keep saying MC is scum, I only feel that he's human. Very human. Luckily author gave background for his "scummy actions."

Imma spoiler the heck of this novel so proceed with caution.


MC is the type that feels deeply, but because he feels deeply he buried it. He's proud but not arrogant. There's a certain nonchalant acceptance born of hopelesness from his actions. He's very... more>> patient, decisive and realistic.


MC first met ML because MC was drugged, I wasn't certain if he's r*ped or not but people took embarrassing photos of him.

MC's dad got into huge debts from failure in business, they leave the country and left MC. Originally MC was gonna be a chef but he need to pay debt so he signed to sketchy/pimp manager. I wasn't sure if MC sold his body or not but he ended up being humiliated.



He wasn't a scummy h**ny bastard, he's just a human. He's one of the most realistic ML out there. He's weak, he's a coward, but once he's sure, he finally took that one brave step and that's all that matters.


His father has mistresses and even got an actress pregnant. So he always feel love isn't reliable and it's better to pay people for companionship.

He wear a mask because he's a coward, and he know he's weak and cowardly. But He's shrewd.

He also didn't realise how deeply MC love him because to him love is cheap. And he regretted a lot. He tried making it up tho. Trying to cook, beginning to truly care about MC, Offending and Owing a lot of people because MC's photos, opening his heart to love and moving on from his white moonlight.


The lacking things is how they came to be. Like I don't know how many years they're together or how they even become SB/SD

But according to the storyline and why MC can still accept ML


MC first fall for ML in his twenties so it's around 5-9 years they're together and that's also how long MC love ML. ML also realized that MC spent his best years with him.

I feel like ML's first love was kind of a "safe love". He find love unreliable, he like men and knew his love would be unreciprocated. It's easy to fall for your childhood friend. It's "safe". Not to mention he's married. That's why it's easier to move on.

Compared to MC's love where ML appeared to be the light when he's in the dark. Ofc MC tried to move on but if you love someone and be patient for his love for years, it's not easy to move on. So when he sees ML's dedication he finally decided that they can try. And most importantly MC still decided ML is worth it.

Some people might think there's not enough groveling but it spans around 1-2 years. ML didn't pressure MC and just quietly do his own thing. MC is also decisive and I'm glad because they make each other happy

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seagullfan rated it
March 10, 2023
Status: Completed
I'm a fan of this author who never fails to splash cold water at the readers' faces and add a plot twist that can suddenly turn upsite down everything you know. With this story, I guess, the author tried to do something different, and for me it didn't work at all. It felt incredibly boring and bland, apart from some mild irritation closer to the end.

When people recommend this story as a crematorium, it makes me want to laugh. This crematorium is so tepid it can't fry an egg, let... more>> alone incenirate the gong. Does he even deserve to be incenirated? Not really. To be honest, it's a different kind of story, it didn't work for me but might work (and it seems it does) for someone else. It's just... not a crematorium in any way.

What annoyed me about this story (and it practically the only emotion that it made me feel) was that cooking part.


The MC dreams to be a chef. He protects the ML during a car accident and his hand is ruined, and his dream to become a chef is also ruined. When the ML finally learns about it and finally starts kinda chasing the MC, he does it by letting him taste some unpalatable dishes he cooks. For one thing, I really don't like this kind of thing in books and movies. Like, taste your own cooking - if it is disgusting, don't force your loved one to eat it, do you think your loved one is a pig who will eat swill?

For the other thing, the MC wanted to be a chef. His dream is ruined. In which way should it console him that the ML can cook badly? Let's imagine the MC was a musician and injured his hand and can't play anymore. Will it comfort him if the ML learns to strum Three Little Birds on guitar?

The way the author makes the MC feel touched with it make the MC extremely unrelatable to me.

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byunnie rated it
July 6, 2020
Status: Completed
i love substitution stories and this one just happens to be my favorite.

the MC is so strong and smart he loves the scum ML very much but I fully believe that he would be able to live without him too, its hard to find MCs who are like that most seem to be the type who would endure abuse, amnesia, miscarriage, more abuse then still run back. Not saying the MC didn't endure emotional abuse atleast here but he was someone who would've lived well even without the MC and... more>> I think he knew that just chose to stay with ML because he wanted to.

The ML though does he even work half of the time hes playing around like ?? His company is going to fail at this rate


theres this part where the ML invites MC to eat with him and his new lover but holds the MCs hand underneath the table so the MC thought the ML wanted to do a 3some and started thinking of appropriate positions that had me laughing for dayss (i mtl so I might've gotten something wrong but I think that was the gist of that part lol)

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night18light rated it
August 13, 2020
Status: Completed
I cried buckets and this is one of the saddest story I have ever read,
MC loves the ML very much, but what he got was he lost his love even his chilhood dream just to protect ML right after he knew that ML had another person in his heart. MC tragic past and the reason why he loves ML. it's so heartbreaking...
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earlydiaries rated it
February 21, 2023
Status: Completed
that was a pleasant surprise of a read. It wasn't romantic, but it was definitely centered around a romantic relationship! EDIT: I hated the chapters near the ending. Them getting "taught a lesson" is such f*cking cheap conflict. The author is a joke.

im rating it 0 f*cking stars despite my initial review because the story was f*cking ruined for me.


  • gu yan as an MC was spectacular. His personality and behavior is what made most people, hell, even the translator, feel this wasn't angsty, but I digress. If anything, it's this silent and enduring personality that makes everything sadder. For someone like him to bare his heart out like that and deceived into thinking what he wanted was just slightly out of reach but there, only to find out, it was never even near his grasp? Tragic. Yet, simultaneously, he is mature and dignified. He doesn't stay where he thinks he is not needed, or wanted, for that matter. He's smart and patient, going for qin zhiyuan as long as he knew he had a chance.

    in fact, he didn't step away because qzy couldn't forget his white moonlight, but because qzy couldn't even hold a space for him in his heart at all. Gy was willing to let time help qzy move on by his side as long as it meant qzy also wanted to be with him and love him too. Alas, our ML was not yet ready at this time. He is very much like a schoolboy who lacks experience with love, but I couldn't sympathize with him. He's still an adult who participates in the mess of love, having several lovers, he should have been better one way or another.

  • qin zhiyuan is quite a piece of work. He's your typical domineering president without the domineering part. He's surprisingly quite wounded that love is a mess of a topic or thing for him to handle. It is a refreshing take on his character trope. He's still a scumbag, nonetheless.

    ngl how he tried to make up for all he has done to gy was cute and a sweet effort. I know he was a total ass and I wouldn't excuse him but we also have a bit of understanding for his circumstances. They weren't exactly ideal for a situation that needed a clear mind and firm resolve.

    cooking has come to have a special meaning to him and gy, but especially to qzy. It was one of the ways gy expressed his love for him even if it was before they ripped each other's faces off, and it was what gy loved to do, his dream. By learning to cook, qzy was trying to understand gy and speak in his language, and reciprocate his love the same way. So, no, it wasn't that he was forgiven just because of "shitty cooking."

    i am fawning over these two main characters being such unreliable narrators. It's one of the times I could genuinely appreciate and enjoy a story with an unreliable narrator or two.


    while it's true qzy wasn't ready for gy, it's untrue that he wasn't ever in love with him. These two fools didn't realize gzy already held gy close to his heart. Tbh, it could just be qzy's difficulty with love because of his father that complicated his feelings. He couldn't even recover from his heartbreak at his first love getting married and he has always been a coward. It's inevitable for him to even fathom that he had started loving gy sometime ago and just needed time to let go of his white moonlight. He wasn't in the headspace to respond to gy yet, but it's not like he could put him on hold.



    some readers felt qzy was forgiven too fast or that his efforts were quite shitty. On the contrary, I loved it, surprisingly, because it's in line with his character. Remember, qzy is not some experienced casanova or model perfect bachelor. He's had a complicated background when it comes to love and he's a simple boy who fell in love with the closest boy to him, a friend who was an incredible person and perhaps even a light in his life, a source of love. Time together only made his feelings stronger. I wanted to hate this man, but he is such an ordinary man. He fell so easily for his friend because he grew fond of him, the same way he fell for gy over time without even realizing. If only he weren't so s*upid, he wouldn't have hurt gy. If he hadn't hurt gy, this story would have been a little more romantic. Oh well!

    my complaints

    was them getting beat up f*cking necessary????? They couldn't even retaliate?? Qzy is like a puppet to his dad at 30 years old, the young master director is also a puppet to his uncle. That's it? They're just oppressed??? It seriously ruined the goddamned mood that the two were already nurturing. What the f*ck was the reason??? It just made all the "sweet" moments after feel like swallowing a sickly sweet syrup after being force fed daggers. What, they just get beat up and don't even say anything, as if they actually offended people?? What, for f*cking being gay and together???? They were just f*cking played and humiliated for what?? They had to endure for not even an apology from not even director lin because it's his presence that caused the mess? If he wasn't even close with gy and would always pull away or put up walls with gy then he should've taken responsibility, knowing the power of his mere existence. And then it just gets cleaned up with qin jing talking with the lin uncle once? Neither of them are even f*cking sorry to either main character? Qin jing messes with his son then after he gets taught a lesson that's only when he makes a damn move and neither he or qzy even talk about it again? THAT'S f*ckING IT? That ruined the entire f*cking thing for me. It just made everything after that so f*cking senseless.

    I'm just not taking down my former good review so no one can say I'm just complaining or full-on hating. I genuinely loved this and was enjoying where it was going until the unnecessary beating. That was such bullshit. What was the point of them getting f*cking oppressed like that and by an outsider??? No repercussions and no f*cking sorry's to either gy and qzy. All because of in*est where a sicko in love with his nephew or whatever??? Neither qzy or gy even address it. They just get beaten up and recover then act like nothing happened. They took it lying down? That's it? What is the author's problem???? Couldn't they have escaped somehow? Is it a fetish? You want to see gay people get beaten up huh?? You want them to sit down and treat it like normal?? I hope you get taught a lesson too. It's just so f*cking cheap to suddenly pull that at the least few chapters. You make conflict for it to be resolved. This one came and went. It didn't even do anything for either MC or ml. ML got to protect MC to repay him but so what? They were already at the point where they were about to get back together. This was so unnecessary lol it's like the author doesn't know what's going on between the two characters. Ljr is such an as*hole for just pretending like nothing happened. He f*cking deserved whatever happened to him that day. Not even apologizing for getting gy involved just because he didn't clear things up before. It's like he was unaware of his situation. What, did he just not mind gy potentially getting in harm? He gets f*cking manhandled by his uncle so how does he think he can even save gy from anything lol. I just can't ever handle the main characters becoming cannon fodder in their own series. THAT should have happened to side characters in ljr's story, NOT in gy and qzy's story. Seriously who are the main characters huh??? Isn't it gy and qzy?? Yet they're so pathetic till the very end. It's so frustrating because what message is the author trying to put out there??? Two gay men finally getting together and they can't even be left in peace. Be a real writer and don't make a plot device that won't even affect the f*cking plot. It's so elementary!


    just realized this author wrote another novel I hated because they keep failing to deliver. They were this close to making a work that would actually be filled with real love, but they still struggle to just write without making a mess that could cancel out all their hard work. Disappointing.
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earlgreyt rated it
February 11, 2023
Status: Completed
I really enjoyed this story.

Even though the translator assured us multiple times that it's fluffy / light, I actually think there's a lot of hidden angst in the language. Excellent translation, by the way. Very poetic and rhythmic, greatly enjoyed myself in the reading.

For sensitive readers, I think the bittersweetness and the angst is very obvious and I enjoyed every minute of it. I also loved how manipulative the MC was (haha). I think in these kinds of patron/transactional relationships, where the participants are so savvy and have seen so... more>> much of the world, I can't imagine how difficult it is to transform something with the contractual beginning to something with genuine emotion, which was the task the MC undertook. He had to be that scheming to fight his way into the ML's heart!

I also agree with everything the translator wrote at the end, especially the analysis on the MC and ML. ML was surprisingly more innocent than expected and definitely not as scummy as is typical for these stories.

Anyway, I enjoyed the story a whole lot and loved how blase the MC pretended to be throughout the story (even though he was probably dying inside). Honestly, those kinds of subtle emotions, like the way his hands shook, his crazy heartbeat, that he hid inside, move me the most. <<less
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bluedrop rated it
February 18, 2023
Status: --
I can't give a proper rating. Because I really hated how things were going but I think others would enjoy this a lot and the translator did a great job.

I usually like angst like this, where there's the pain of uncertainty and unrequited love. But the entire time, I just kept wishing the MC would find someone else. I liked the MC but couldn't get myself to see what they saw in the ML honestly. I feel like the MC's bar was so low and had zero experience before falling... more>> for the ML.

Also, I hated the fact that they weren't exclusive right up to a certain point in their arrangement. Like, I get it, the ML doesn't owe the MC anything since they have a kept-lover thing going on. But dayum it made me want MC to just give up already honestly.


MC was young and naive and entered the entertainment industry but ended up getting drugged and almost assaulted. ML saves MC and MC conspires to climb onto ML's bed. ML is a gentle and generous lover and they carry on in a transactional relationship for almost a decade.

Note that ML also has other bed partners.

MC finds out ML was in love with ML's straight best friend all along and MC decides to kind of back off. BUT NOT COMPLETELY GIVE UP BECAUSE ML'S BESTIE IS GETTING MARRIED AND ML IS TORN UP ABOUT IT AND STUCK IN HIS OWN UNREQUITED LOVE.

I honestly couldn't see the appeal of MC still waiting for the ML to finally return MC's feelings so I ended up dropping it. It hurt too much and felt so s*upid.

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Onyo.onyo rated it
February 13, 2023
Status: Completed
Typical story about "you keep me, I fell in love with you, but you have white moonlight in your heart. I gave up and you chased me back"

But it's executed well enough that it's quite enjoyable and not nearly as depressing to read.

MC is also not the typical sugar baby who can only cry, quite reasonable with the logic of their relationship (in toxic way) even though he has a vase face but he knows what he wants, I quite like MC's personality.
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dee_ism rated it
February 12, 2023
Status: --
A good doze of angst.

And I truly like the MC. He seems like a helpless flower vase, but in order to win ML heart, he's determined, hard working, patient, and calculating more than anyone else. The ML comes out as innocent in comparison, hhaha.

But one thing for sure, MC loves ML deeply, and it's so rewarding when ML loves him back. Satisfying read.
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Aebpl1 rated it
October 4, 2022
Status: c20
3.0 is as much as I can give to this novel's writing and flow... it's okay in a way that entertains you but not mesmerizing enough to remember it for a long time


... more>>

MC (Gu Yan) is the most beautiful creature I've met til now in danmeis but as much as I'm worshiping his elegance I'm feeling an indifference to his what-so-ever love, the relationship for which he endured years of an unprofessional career, humiliation and lies but could end it in one second after finding there's not much space in his beloved's heart for him, it feels like he (MC) doesn't treasure himself enough... I dropped it in half (as I'm both lazy to mtl and unwilling to have another set of MC's dumb love), so as for ML, all I can say is that he's a cannon fodder, at least in the first half, like a tool for author just to introduce and show off MC to us...



As for readers and MC, both sympathizing to ML for his unrequited love, I don't hold such feelings, an unrequited love ending in silence as well as leading to a third person's broken heart, no human does the same heartbreak he's feeling to another person just to fill his empty heart... I liked the objective tone the author has as I'm even more motivated to express my disgust with such love,


I don't hold any respect for what both ML and MC was calling love, as one was hurting himself and the other, hurting others... <<less
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Winterrz rated it
March 15, 2023
Status: Completed
LoL I almost didn't go through with this one 😂 The 1 stars are a bit scary. Not to mention the plot itself is, intense; to say the least.

However I'll have it known that this is the best novel I've read of it's kind. You know, the kind where MC is in love and not reciprocated so he leaves and then ML regrets it and chases him back. Definitely the best I've read of that kind.

It wouldn't have hurt though if the author had made the ML more powerful during... more>> the fight with that Liu uncle. All he did was take away some pictures, not very cash money of him. And he didn't even get revenge for that beating. Well, it is what it is I guess.

I like the ML and how he said true to his feelings. Matter of fact I like how this whole thing was written. The reconciliation was also really satisfying. So yeah. <<less
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twobada rated it
February 15, 2023
Status: --
This MC is one of my top 5 favorites. Absolutely admirable how he charged head-on with his love, winning it for himself step-by-step, despite of the countless heartaches.

I don't care much about the ML and the plot but this MC is 100% worth reading and re-reading.

Although I strongly feel that the extras about the side characters need their own continuation. I especially feel bad about LJ.
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erialolita rated it
September 8, 2022
Status: Completed
This novel isn't bad but isn't good either, the plot and characters are tepid. I can understand how others may love this type of story, but it was too bland for me.

I didn't like the MC but didn't hate him. MC was too much of a piece of wood that it made it hard to connect with him. Sure some of the angsty parts hurt my heart a bit, but I showed more emotion than the MC.... more>>

was surprised that he was the one who sent the dvd of his cut confession scene, not sure what about the ML was so great for the MC to stubbornly stick to him, even after everything. Made the MLs redemption seem even more meh since it was basically the MCs manipulation


ML is scummy, not because he is a sugar daddy with multiple babies, but because he played with the MCs feelings knowing MC wanted his love. He of course has his redemption arc, that was you guessed it, very lackluster.

All in all it's an easy and quick read, not a bad way to waste time, but not a good way either. MTL is 99% readable, probably 1 of the easiest stories to MTL. Translations we're good. <<less
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LeniSnow rated it
December 28, 2021
Status: --
It's amazing, haven't been able to feel this way recently with novels I read. I spend my days reading all day and night. It's raw emotions that is very human. It's beautiful.
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sbob rated it
November 17, 2023
Status: Completed
I’m surprised I liked it and got properly immersed in their relationship despite it being quite short.

Looks like pitiful shou x scum gong but isn’t really. There was enough of that heart wrenching feeling of the betrayal but MC (shou) ’s character is so easy-going and aware that it doesn’t hurt that badly. ML is also slightly scummy but still alright.

... more>>

I was shocked when it was subtly revealed that the events leading up to ML realizing his feelings for MC was all instigated by MC. But it makes perfect sense with MC’s character.


The hilarious part for me was when MC met the disapproving father and propositioned him instead, LOL. Watch out, Qin men!

Smut was so-so, didn’t do much for me.

Short, intense, heart twinges, almost tears, sweet fluff. Well-written! <<less
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Staringatastar rated it
July 16, 2023
Status: Completed
How is this not rated more highly?! It's soooooo perfect. The characters are superb. I love the reveal of the mc's character. I love all the themes the author squeezes in. I love the side stories hinted at (forbidden in*est pining / jealousy / drama, little rabbit getting himself caught by hidden wolf).

First, can I just rave a bit about the MC. He's so persistent at pursuing what he wants, yet so clear eyed and realistic about it's imperfections. He's so conniving and manipulative, yet also respectful and realistic. He... more>> never stoops to using unsavory means to get what he wants - he doesn't force anyone or push his feelings onto others. Instead, he creates a plan to wear away the boulder blocking his path. And when he realizes there's not just a boulder, but a cliff blocking his goal, he calmly make a u-turn, regroups and comes up with a new route. If a typical MC is apple maps v1 when trying to decide what they want and how to get it, this MC is the current google maps. He knows the lanes to get into for the right exit, can predict traffic jams, and realistically predict how long a journey might take regardless of how easy the trip looks on the surface (why yes, I'm fully committed to this navigation analogy, thank you very much)

The ML is also adorable. He's so whole hearted. And a good person. How else would he know to suppress himself in every way - towards his dad, half brother, crush? He calls himself a coward, unwilling to fully commit to unsavory emotion, but isn't that civilization? We all have feelings we wish we could vent, and have to surpress because logically we know it's better to do so and that the losses outweigh the gains if we don't. It requires great maturity and self control to hold back the inner id. But in the course of this story, he realizes that some things don't need to be repressed and should instead be grabbed with both hands. He learns that he doesn't need to be afraid of sharing himself with everyone. Also, he's not a clueless lamb led to the slaughter; even if he doesn't know at the time that he's being manipulated, the story suggests that at the end he understands the tricks the MC played and is happy to be tricked.

I love the cadence of this story. It's not your typical romance, with love at first sight. Instead, it's about a steady love that comes from understanding and learning to see each other. It's about a love that is mutually respectful and comfortable. It's about finding someone that you can depend on and trust to think of you when everything is on the line. It's so much more meaningful than love in most romances.

Also, can I mention how amazing the translator and translation is? The translation is done carefully, to follow the intention of the original text. The translator adds useful insights and funny quips at the beginning or end of chapters. I just wish they would take on the companion story. <<less
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Kez Lynx
Kez Lynx
February 15, 2023
Status: Completed
This was good so far, but... where the heck are the rest of the chapters??!!! On novel updates, I was only able to get up to chapter 20, and when I took the suggestion from a comment in this thread to go to MTLNovel. com; there is a novel with a similar name but Unfortunately, it's not THIS novel. HELP! I hate that this novel s**ked me into the world and now I can't even finish it. Where can I find this novel completed till the end? Does anyone know?... more>> Where did everyone else read it? I see others finished it... but where? It is NOT on MTL or Soverse. I even looked through Google to no avail. :- (

UPDATE: I finally realized that the shrimpchips links held the full translated novels. UGH! I was lamenting for nothing. LOL! :-D

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