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Ephemeral Light
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Web Novel (CN)
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Rating(3.8 / 5.0, 100 votes)
5    49% (49 votes)
4    15% (15 votes)
3    15% (15 votes)
2    11% (11 votes)
1    10% (10 votes)
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2018
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53 Chapters, 7 Extras (Completed)
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Completely Translated
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Release Frequency
Every 43.1 Day(s)
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[Graph]
Weekly Rank: #19596
Monthly Rank: #24329
All Time Rank: #8144
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On 1459 Reading Lists
Monthly Rank: #27419
All Time Rank: #7253

Description

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This is a story about a heartless and insane younger brother who takes the dominant role. And a self-deprecating and miserable older brother who takes the submissive role.

After ten years, Song Jin returns to the Song family main house, where Song Xinglan, his younger brother, mostly says to him: “Song Jin, you’re disgusting.”

Early Stage: Insane Beastly Dominant younger brother X Calmly Suffering Submissive older brother

Mid-term Stage: The Insane Dominant younger brother turns into a Foolish Crybaby Dominant and the Urban Setting Turns into Rural Setting

Later Stage: (Possibly) Wife Chasing Crematorium

Associated Names
One entry per line
A House of Dark Lights
A Room with Dim Light
Yi Wu An Deng
一屋暗灯
Related Series
Wilderness Vegetation (Shared Universe)
Recommendations
Referring to Father as Elder Brother (1)
Can’t Be Left Behind (1)
Flee Into the Night (1)
Paper Plane (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. finished reading
  2. wasn't prepared and will never be
  3. Forbidden Love (BL)
  4. Extremely fastidious and picky persons opinions on...
  5. Novel i've read

Latest Release

Date Group Release
06/27/24 KnoxT c6
06/25/24 KnoxT c5
06/23/24 KnoxT c4
06/21/24 KnoxT c3
06/19/24 KnoxT c2
06/18/24 KnoxT c1
1…345
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12 Reviews sorted by


damnmei
damnmei rated it
September 30, 2025
Status: Completed
One of the worst novels I've read—I'm actually still reeling from the visceral rage that this novel gave me reading. It feels like I can finally breathe now that I've finally finished reading this absolute nightmare of a novel, with how hard my entire body was clenched. Let me preface by saying that I actually love in*est novels, and have read many, so that's not at all my issue with this novel. I also really love wife-chasing and s*um gongs, but let it be known, a s*um gong is only... more>> as good as his redemption arc, and this man had literally no perceivable redemption save for two "I'm sorry"s and a conveniently timed amnesia arc to wipe his memories of all his awful behavior and deliver the now amnesiac gong to his older brother's doorstep like nothing ever happened.

What makes me so upset about this is that instead of actually making this gong develop as a character and have to actually chase the shou back, he got away with everything by having all his memories of raping and abusing his brother erased, just so that his brother would have no choice but to watch over him, the now brain-damaged little brother who only wants his gege to take care of him. The rage that I felt reading this plot point cannot be understated, with the subsequent 20 or so chapters just being the two of them happily living out their slice of life farm arc together completely ignoring the fact that hello you're sharing space with your ab*ser?? Song Jin has barely any chapters in which he's still hesitant about his rapist little brother being in his house before he lets up and decides, never mind he's changed now so it's fine. Then proceeds to accept his kisses. And later have s*x with him. Like nothing ever happened.

Those chapters were probably among the most annoying chapters I've read, what with how little I was enjoying their sweet little domestic life knowing that eventually this man would have to regain his memories for this plot to make any sense. At no point reading did I feel any pity for him, with how awfully he treated his brother who did absolutely nothing wrong to him to have been treated in such a way, not to mention how he treated every other character in this novel beyond just his brother, like the disgusting way in which he disrespected every one of his girlfriends. This absolutely sociopathic behavior then combined with his sudden brain empty but kindhearted era during his amnesia phase made no sense, as anyone with a functioning empathy system would have never treated another person, much less their well-intentioned sibling, like an object to be used and disposed of. His sudden development of a heart with his amnesia just felt like such a convenient and nonsensical way to get the shou to let down his guard, and I really couldn't have been more unconvinced.

Eventually the ML gets his memories back, and I thought maybe this would be the time for a redemption arc, as perhaps he would show some remorse, give Song Jin some space, maybe own up to the fact that he r*ped the other. But no. He continues treating Song Jin like he's his property, encroaches on his space like it's his god given right, and only apologizes briefly after Song Jin literally breaks down in tears once again because at no point was the poor man's trauma ever addressed. Song Jin gets maybe three words of apology before they have s*x again and then the novel ends with no redemption arc, no groveling, no anything. What in the world, what a complete waste of my time, the only thing I gained from reading this was more wrinkles from how disgusted I was reading to the point where my entire face was warped with rage at how easily this gong was being let off, and how little development any character got.

Their abusive father is used as an explanation for Song Xinglan's disgusting behavior, but to me, no amount of trauma excuses r*pe. I'm sorry but you can't just handwave away the fact that he assaulted his brother multiple times, verbally and emotionally ab*sed him, and terrified him into puking on the side of the road, just by giving this gong an awful upbringing. Both these characters need time apart from each other, especially while the gong is fully aware of all that he has done wrong and is able to actually grow as a person and develop emotionally in a way that feels meaningful, that isn't just a two month amnesia stint. Those three years apart in between the ab*se and meeting again have absolutely no impact on the redemption arc as in no point during those years does the gong feel any amount of remorse, and immediately upon meeting again he's a brainless amnesiac fool. At what point am I meant to feel sympathy for him, or support the two of them getting together, because neither ever happened for me.

Don't expect a wife-chasing crematorium in the slightest, as it won't happen. This novel would have been better as a bad ending or at least as an open ending, but the fact that the two of them are together at the end despite the complete lack of character growth on either end really is the finishing blow for me. The ML has no exploration into his psychology other than being the victim of child ab*se, and his entire personality basically boils down to being a yandere sociopath. Overall just awful writing, not even enjoyable for the smut as half is non-con and the other half is just disgusting to read for every reason I've gone through above. Nothing against anyone who enjoyed this novel, but personally I just can't accept a plot that goes nowhere and uses amnesia as a half-baked redemption arc rather than actually making a character repent. I went back and read some of the Chinese to also see if maybe it would be more easy to stomach in the original source, but no, still bad.

Also a note that bothered me but I didn't appreciate all the TL notes while reading this, as I found every chapter so awful to read, then having to see this TLer make light of the ab*se and call for them to "stop abusing each other" was not enjoyable. The shou did absolutely nothing to the gong at any point in the novel, and it felt like victim blaming to call any way that he treated his ab*ser as "ab*se" back. If anything, Song Jin did not make his younger brother suffer enough for the torment he endured, and let the other back into his life much too easily. I don't mind TL notes that deal with the TL itself, but injecting your own opinion like this is just not appreciated when I'm just trying to get to the next chapter but accidentally read some comment excusing this ML's behavior that I really didn't want to see otherwise. <<less
18 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
rimirinrin
rimirinrin rated it
June 26, 2024
Status: Completed
Song Jin (ML) followed his mom after his parents' divorce due to his father's cheating. His mom left behind his younger brother with his dad.

Over the years, his mother hated his dad and he was also told many negative things by his mom. His younger brother, Song Xing Lan (ML) also lived with hatred for his mom who left him behind and his dad. After his mom passed away, Song Jin went back to live with his father. Song Xing Lan kept finding trouble with him, and after finding out... more>> that his brother is a gay, he kept using that as a handle against him, ultimately ruining his brother after raping him on multiple occasions.

Song Xing Lan then left and was brought to Song Jin's doorstep one day after having amnesia and becoming child-like after an accident. It was a tough journey of acceptance and recovery. The struggles and angst is good and so are the smut. I love McChicken and this novel very much. <<less
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Milina york
Milina york rated it
July 31, 2024
Status: --
I didn't expect the writer to deal with the non-con so well, although I usually don't like MCs with weak personalities... but honestly it's radically different here, the MC's personality and the environment he grew up in and the reactions he showed were so convincing that I ignored my preferences and even loved him a lot. In short, he's the kind of character who was forced throughout his life to focus on other people's problems instead of himself and to literally walk by the wall without making mistakes, not because... more>> he's necessarily good, but because he didn't have the luxury to live for himself. In short, he became what he is now, unable to truly see himself as someone who deserves happiness and such, and believe me, it was convincing to a frightening degree.

As for the ML, he lived in an environment where he was subjected to violence, which forced him to become a wolf unable to understand his feelings. Of course, I don't even want to talk about the writer's wonderful portrayal of the effect of parents raising their children on what they become.

At this point, the two meet after 10 years of Separation, one carrying guilt and the other hatred. It was a shocking start

Spoiler

As expected the ML r*ped the MC multiple times in a honestly heartbreaking way just because their mother chose the MC (which It turned out later that she wanted to take both of them with her by legal means, but she failed bc the father's deep-rooted connections.) and gave him to his father and he showed no remorse for his actions. And later he became s*upid (the easiest way to start redemption without actually making effort to make the charecter more like human) unlike the comments I really hated the second third of the novel and would have preferred the author to focus on developing the ML and explaining all the s*upid sh*t he did... instead of making him an idiot but after thinking about it I think this was the only way to make the MC have a soft spot and moaning about him being so lonely that he actually loved the s*upid side of his rapist brother

[collapse]
.

I'm giving the novel 3 stars because the author left so many gaps in what the ML did and why... when did he ever realize his feelings? and when did he regret it? are all things that were not mentioned... The chasing arc was overall sucha disappointment <<less
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SailorJuniper
SailorJuniper rated it
July 31, 2024
Status: Completed
It starts well and then takes a massive nosedive around chapter 20.

The Gong, Song Xinglan, is particularly hateable (in a good way) —arrogant, rude, cold, selfish, with extraordinarily violent and possessive tendencies, most of which coalesce around his feelings of s*xual attraction, but also hurt and anger at his older brother, Song Jin, and deceased mother, with SXL using his older brother to vent a lot of the hurt and anger he feels at both his mom, who abandoned him and dad who ab*sed him. I wish we had gone... more>> into more depth with him — we got some nice snippets of his character, especially the stalking, blackmailing, and intimidation. Still, we don't get a lot of particular focus on SXL, which I think was a miss by the author. Despite not being the MC, the story flows based on many of his behaviors/actions.

Song Jin is a decent MC — he's very human in that his profound loneliness can be felt, as well as the distance and awkwardness he feels when he's forced to return to the Song family residence. His desire to be able to live and enjoy life but feeling undeserving of happiness is relatable, I'm sure, to many. His feelings concerning the relationship with his brother are complex but also easy to understand. Song Jin is extremely lonely and, without his mother, is essentially without family; having been separated from his dad and brother for over a decade, their kinship is weak despite SJ's best attempts. This culminates in extreme passivity in SJ, who, despite how terribly SXL treats him, still desires and hopes for SXLs anger to turn into love, similar to the affection they had for each other as children so that he might not feel so alone.

In contrast to the other reviews, IMO, the story gets weak, starting from the 'amnesia' arc, and falls further flat post-amnesia when their father turns into an almost comical on-the-run criminal — the story sort of just drags from there with no clear objective or goal for the end, which, while not ambiguous, I wouldn't rate as satisfactory given how the story started. Beyond that, the wife-chasing attempt was totally out of place here. A 'wife chasing' arc might make sense in any other pair, but SXL and SJ are brothers with a clearly defined 'submit and obey' dynamic. This illogical notion of, 'If SXL wants to date SJ, he needs to behave in X manner... ' makes no sense given that SXL already has SJ living in his house and depending on him for money, love, affection, etc., ... there is nothing for SXL to chase... he has embedded the trauma so deeply into SJ's mind that there are no high stakes in their relationship beyond them potentially getting caught by some of SJ's friends. But even that is extremely low risk, given most don't know SJ has a brother anyway...

I'll end by saying that generally, I find 'amnesia' such a cope-out trope to bring characters together, and I wasn't inspired by it here either. The problem with this trope is that a person with amnesia does not have all their faculties and can not properly consent to anything. Still, of course, the bottom is always emotionally moved by the complete 180° in personality during these amnesia arcs and engages in s*x with an essentially non-consenting person — an easy way to 'level the playing field' by going 'well, now we're both wrong' — which opens the door for some nonsensical forgiveness arc because 'we're even now' (because stalking, blackmailing, ra*ing and violence is equivalent to your likely clinically depressed and lonely brother falling in love with your new, pleasant personality and engaging in what is seemingly consensual s*x...). <<less
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makamo rated it
July 27, 2024
Status: Completed
This novel was painful to read, mainly because of the distressing and problematic relationship between the main characters.

... more>>
Spoiler

The gong (top) r*pes the shou (bottom), who is his brother. This leaves the shou deeply scarred. Then later, the gong loses his memory and becomes mentally incapacitated, forcing the shou to take care of the very person who caused him so much pain. You can't help but feel sorry for the shou. Honestly, he’s unlucky to have met someone like the gong.

The progression of their relationship feels abrupt and unconvincing. While the novel hints at a "wife-chasing crematorium" trope, the execution falls flat. The gong's methods remain obsessive and forceful, which undermines any genuine sense of redemption.

Despite this, the shou decides to give him another chance. The transition from trauma to reconciliation is not particularly well-developed.

[collapse]

Also, I find it amusing when MTL translators feel the need to mention they have studied the language when in reality they have no knowledge of the language or how to translate it. Like I wouldn’t try translating a book from French after a few high school lessons... If you're curious about this novel, you might as well MTL it yourself and save some time. <<less
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Alymirra
Alymirra rated it
April 5, 2025
Status: Completed
Rough summary for anyone who wants to know the plot/needs a memory refresher:

... more>>
Spoiler

After a long separation because of divorced parents, the MC returns home only to be hated by ML (younger bio bro). ML destroys his gifts, insults him, demeans him etc. MC takes it all because he feels guilty to the ML even though MC acknowledges it wasn't MC's fault because MC was also a child.

ML later finds out MC is gay and r*pesⁿ him after which MC runs away. ML then loses his memory in an accident and MC, afraid to let people know why he hates li'l bro, takes ML in. After ML recovers his memory, ML realizes he's in love with MC. Meanwhile MC has also fallen in love with the amnesiac ML (but not the one who hurt MC). They then reconcile and keep their relationship.

[collapse]

This story does NOT qualify as wife chasing crematorium because:

Spoiler

ML does no actual chasing. Amnesia is used as a cop out for MC forgiving & falling in love.

[collapse]

Not a bad story. Not something I'm likely to read again anytime soon. <<less
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shiroykumo
shiroykumo rated it
September 26, 2024
Status: c1
I have to say that this is one of the best in*est danmeis I have read. Although there are some unanswered questions

Spoiler

Like I really wanna know why SXL got the birthday cake during the accident. Did he feel remorse or was he going to torture SJ again?

[collapse]

Nevertheless, I cried so much throughout the stories. I want more extras but as of now, this is enough. I also love how the author manages to capture the turmoil inside MC’s heart. Sighs
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
ririrei._
ririrei._ rated it
July 30, 2024
Status: Completed
Read the trigger warnings before proceeding to this novel, this is probably 麦香鸡呢’s more morbid novel

I was anticipating the gong to be a total jerk, and I got it. This is basically a story of how 2 brothers are separated by birth and then met again after 10 years its a story that deals with psychological effects of parental ab*se.

While I love 麦香鸡呢’s novel due to their addictive plot and am okay about reading and UNDERSTANDING complex human nature towards trauma... I can’t really say anything about this one?... more>> Like don’t get me wrong it explains quite well on how our MC (Older brother Song Jin) has acquired his personality to his parents...

But I found that the psychology explanation behind the ML’s action wasn’t sufficient to back up for his horrible actions? especially on the shit’s he’s done to the MC pre-timeskip, but am not one to judge since 53 chapters isn’t enough to fully explain someones action...

Anyways its a 3/5 for me, good writing, but character development was a little lacking <<less
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AnneDeaz
AnneDeaz rated it
July 29, 2024
Status: Completed
Read this cause I decided to give this whole 'forgiving an a**hole' troupe which I have always avoided cause I found it insanely pathetic and nothing's changed.

Yes, maybe I went into this clearly biased and non optimistic but every review has some bias so I'll leave it on anyway even if it may sound like a rant.

I don't really find instances when someone is r*ped repeatedly but goes back to their rapist to leave happily ever after particularly sad... no.....i just find it pathetic and weak... and once I see... more>> the main character as weak and pathetic... its hard for me to root for the relationship in any way.

Spoiler

I would have actually understood if the wife chasing part was well done... cause biased as I am against this troupe...i do understand that love can be complicated and whatnot.... but holy hell.... the bastard did all that sht and you had to take care of him at his lowest and then you just move past all that after slapping his wrist...... Wow.....I would hope after all the sht you put him through and all he did in turn when you where low you would put more effort in the wife chasing but I guess why put effort in someone who will accept the bare minimum.... sigh....

[collapse]

Anyway... the writing was okay.. the translation... as always by knox good.. overall I was rolling my eyes the whole time. But ad I said... it might be that this whole genre is not for me and I shouldn't have read the. novel since I saw the trigger warnings and read anyway.

But I'll just be that guy and rate this according to how I felt. <<less
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FrostyDragon
FrostyDragon rated it
July 14, 2024
Status: Completed
Overall pretty good, although I felt the ML's psychology could have been explored better and his 'wife chasing in the crematorium' of the MC should have been longer and harder than it ended up being.

I thought the first part with the r*pe was the weakest part, but part two with the amnesia was touching and the final part was good too.

The ML's switch from cruel and sadistic rapist to

... more>>
Spoiler

cold-faced yet warm-hearted CEO in the third part was a little abrupt and not fully explained. I'm guessing he was always crazy attracted to the MC and couldn't handle it, but the transitions didn't feel fully realistic and some details should have been added, e.g. More insights into ML's character.

[collapse]

For that reason MC's forgiveness came a little too easy, but hey, even I as a reader got soft-hearted because of the MC's suffering and the cuteness that was the amnesiac ML and wanted them to be happy in the end. <<less
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51Fool49
51Fool49 rated it
March 20, 2026
Status: --
The synopsis increased my expectations for this novel to deliver a gut-wrenching, heart-touching, emotional, dog blood melodramatic story, but I was thoroughly disappointed. That said, its still not utter tr*sh. Just didn't live up to the hype the summary gave me.

In my opinion, this novel had a lot of potential. The characters had the potential to gain character development through immense means but it wasn't as thoroughly explored. Instead, the author just threw some personality changes here and there.

Another notable thing is that there's not single scene from the ml's... more>> point of view. That leaves the entire unfolding and development of his mental growth in the dark. We don't understand why and how he became a better person, what changed him and had impact on him. These are all guessed and analyzed by the MC. But the absence of ml's pov left me with empty feeling. I don't want to be too harsh with my criticism as the author themselves have expressed at the end of the novel that they are not good at writing.

If you want to read a novel similar to this but better, then I recommend reading "Brother". I read it years ago, and its still vivid in my memory. <<less
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AllShipper
AllShipper rated it
January 12, 2025
Status: Completed
3.5

It was okay. The ML wasn't magically forgiven and all. Wished they were more communication between them and more expressions and speech from the ML. He wasn't explored.

Good translation 👍
0 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
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