what makes me give 5 star despite my ship not sailing is MC gives a lot of chance to the second male (I haven't seen this in novel/drama I've seen So far) she approach him first :) , but u know he has a terrible low self esteem : (that's because his condition

When he realise it n try to find MC. The male lead already block second lead to meet MC. Mmmannn...! MC and second lead almost have their sweet tear-jerking reunion and end up happy ending forever ever after then bomb male lead DID THAT! (you'll know what I mean when u read it ?) . Uughhh I really hate male lead in here hahaha... I keep despising him the entire novel ?

my poor Jiu Ye

In my younger days, perhaps I would have been drawn to HQB's fiery dominating personality. But for me, there is just something about a man who is intelligent, physically handicapped yet can take care of himself, powerful yet modest, aloof yet tender, that is so lovely and rare in fiction. And that is where the Shi Enterprises 9th Master comes in.

The scenes with Jiu Ye and Yu Jin are so well-written that I could feel myself falling in love with his character from their second meeting. How well the author shows the unspoken tenderness between the two, seeing how Yu Jin's straightforwardness left the normally unflappable 9th master exasperated and flustered, how Yu Jin's admiration for his thoughtfulness and the way he secretly helps the common people who had their land ravaged by war.

Then it broke my heart. Each time he pushed Yu Jin away. I wanted to curl into a ball and cry when she finally leaves him in Chang An without knowing he was searching for her because I just want this poor, poor man to be happy, dammit!

We were cruelly teased with the possibility of love. Only when Jiu Ye finally decides to give up everything for Yu Jin, her heart has already been taken away by HQB. In the novel, the author even acknowledges that Jiu Ye was truly pitiful - he had no family, no household or power, nor the use of his legs, losing the love of his life, and even saving love rival's life because he couldn't bear the thought of Yu Jin heartbroken. I can only lament that the author is a massive sadist, orchestrating such a depressing fate for this character!

It's not that I dislike Huo Qu Bing. For what it's worth, his character is well-written and his unrequited love in vol. 1 does make me pity him. But I am personally not a fan of that kind of controlling and possessive character. To me, Yu Jin seemed fated to be with Jiu Ye from the start. HQB was the military poster boy with talent and prestige with the backing of the royal family. In fighting for a nation that is encroaching on the lands of the nomads, his actions comes at the price of hundreds of thousands of lives. The tribes and their struggle to protect their land from invasion was something that was touched on early in the novel. Which is why I was so conflicted over HQB's military character and overbearing actions at times. I think I would have preferred to see Yu Jin happy with the gentle Jiu Ye helping others, travelling the world, and opening a clinic.

What made the first volume of Ballad of the Desert worth sticking around for was Yu Jin's journey to reuniting with Jiu Ye, the mysterious man who helped her in the desert. Reading about Jiu Ye's self-sacrifice in the latter half was hard to get through. The man literally refused her affections because he was afraid his identity would bring danger to her, while HQB threatens to hurt her wolf family if she leaves him and drags her around regardless of the danger that puts her in. In the end, Jiu Ye SACRIFICES HIS LEG to treat HQB and then leaves without a word because he does not want her to feel guilty towards him...

Though I guess I should be grateful no one died lol because that was what I thought at first until the epilogue revived me and choked me and regurgitated me back to limbo.