why i still talk about it: other than having a "one of the first light novels i've ever read in my life" privilege, it simply... more>> has really, really good interpretation of what someone who takes care of a terminally ill loved one feels like. at this point in time i don't even remember the names of the main cast anymore, but as a daughter with a mother who's currently battling cancer, the scenes of mc with ml's dying mother and their open conversations about life and death and trying to survive was like an anchor that burried this novel in the depths of my brain. <<less

why i still talk about it:... more>>

"Joe, I don't feel so well... Can you come and see me?"

when i first read this novel and encountered this line, there were three things i did pronto—scream in mute, walk straight into the kitchen, and then cry. this novel has a really well balanced quality to it, so much so that it reminded me of the polished books i used to read in the bookstore (props for the translators too cause they definitely had a hand in that). BUT for some reason i thought it didn't really made a big impression on me until i remembered this line and how it forcefully yanked a sh*t ton of tears out of me, which i rarely do because i'm the type to cry before i even get to the sad part of a story because i already formulated the sad part in my brain ahead of time. only then did i remember that i really had a good time reading this novel from start to finish. this is also the first ever light novel i've reread. <<less

why i still talk about it: i'm gonna be real—carly rae jepsen hard carried this novel into this list. it's not the best one out... more>> of the other novels i've read with the same premise, but because 1) this is the first ever "protagonist falls in love first" light novel i've encountered and read and 2) i re-discovered carly rae jepsen through her "emotions" album while reading this, i still reminisce the giddiness i've felt while reading the first few chapters with carly's "your type" playing in my earphones to this very day. <<less

why i still talk about it: now for this novel, the opposite thing happened. instead of music making it memorable, it was music that proved... more>> me it was truly memorable. imagine listening to niki's "nicole" album on a random ass day but all you can think about is how every song can apply to the angst between mc and ml...it was really good angst, guys. at least for me it was really top quality because what i imagined the twists and turns of the story to be really turned out that way. the silent confrontations?? the mc's dignified begging for his relationship with ml to be accepted by his father??? wife crematorium that isn't really wife crematorium because ml is Professionally Misunderstood and mc isn't exhausting himself with anger and instead simply distancing himself until ml gets their sh*t together???? i really ate good with this one. <<less

why i still talk about it: to cut it short, this is the most visually imprinted light novel in my head up to this day. ... more>>

to make it long, it's because i've always been a sucker for acting in any forms of media, so from the get go this novel already had some privilege applied to it within my novel rankings. but of course even without that headstart, i feel like the author of this novel really understood how important the first arc of the novel is for the rest of the story WITH THE WAY IT GOT ME FLOORED. like really. from the first chapter of mc and ml filming their first movie together until the chapter when it ended, i felt like a ragdoll that was being tossed and turned and gagged with so many emotions and the vividness of every scene certainly didn't help. if i had the ability to replicate what goes on in my head when i think about the first arc of this novel the author would be so surprised with how much DETAIL i can still conjure out of my memory alone after almost a year of completely reading the novel. <<less

why i still talk about it: basically episode 2 of "i can't believe the angst i just imagined actually became canon" but other than my imaginations coming to life, it also exceeded my expectations of angst without coming off as a light novel with a "melodrama" subgenre.... more>>

if i'm really gonna get to the bottom of it though, i feel like it became memorable to me because it's the first esports novel i've read who had an "older" ml that is still acting his age. it's kinda ironic because in the novel they mentioned that esports players were forced to grow up because of how cutthroat the industry is, but what made this novel stand out to me was ml openly admitting how childishly angsty he was back then even when he was already the most senior player. i have yet to encounter another ml like him, and because of that fog is still so memorable to me. <<less

why i still talk about it: the way me and ml (yes you read that right it's me and ml) got GAGGED during his face... more>> to face encounter with mc after the time jump was truly one for the books. it was the first time in my reading life that i've read a non-harem, non-love triangle romance story where i've felt such an alarming sense of insecurity for the ml's rate of success in getting together with mc. and to my surprise, the source of that insecurity didn't stem from the "second ml" but from the mc. because other than the success cai cai achieved through the years, he really matured as a person—not in a forceful way that young kids do after being left alone to fend for themselves, but in a way that only comes after you have loved every part of yourself despite all the sh*t you've been through. cai cai wants to live a life he can be proud of and love the people who loves him. he's a serious person living his serious life with PRIDE, and i feel like contrasting all of that with ml's unsureness with everything regarding mc made me say "we're f*cking doomed bro" after their first face to face conversation. reading the story from that point forward settled this novel in this list. <<less

why i still talk about it: the first light novel i've read where you can ask me to summarize my honest analysis of any character in this story with either "i like them" or "i dislike them" and I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO IT. EVEN AT GUNPOINT. this is also my first chicken gege story, and i have yet to read their other works, but after reading this??? consider me a fan of ALL their work.... more>>

because here's the thing about me: you can give me the most cliche plot, the most common genre, or the most dogblooded scenarios and i would still read it so long as you present me a minimum of two (2) characters who have enough depth with their characterization. but if you give a WHOLE CAST with so much dimension in them?? ma'am that's my 5-star michelin buffet. <<less

why i still talk about it: other than the fact that the translation for this is still ongoing so i get to think about it every two weeks with ease, what landed this novel in this list is mc's friend group—which to be honest, is so suprising for me cause i'm obviously the type to only focus on the mc and ml, especially on light novels with a very common premise like rebirth.... more>>

to be specific, i always think about THE hotel scene during their first out of town trip. man...if you just saw me when i read it, you could see how i was so weirded out with the way my emotions took a downturn. but then as i analyze it now that i've read the main part of the story, i think what really resonated with me was this theme of "community" that was so present on the whole novel, and is something that i have yet to see in other rebirth novels with similar premise.

it took a village to raise jingzhe, our mc. both in the past and in the present, even with all the sh*t he experienced, even with all the bad stuff he did, even with all the disaster that fell upon his friends and their family, this remains true and I LOVE IT SO BAD I CAN TALK ABOUT IT ALL DAY BY MYSELF. cause he is lonely but he is not alone. his previous life and his friends' previous lives "didn't end well" but they still stood by each other for as much as they can. and all of that? all of that showed with the way jingzhe worked his ass off after his rebirth—he knew that if any of his friends got the rebirth card instead of him they'll basically do the same thing he's doing now and I LOVE IT. let me stop here before i babble in circles forever. <<less