In the end it's the old absence makes the heart fonder and make em jealous approach that worked.

Although Hirosue was indecisive once he came to a decision he acted wholeheartedly.

Part 14: Seme you can die already :<
End: well, I can say it's has a happy ending and stuff, but even though its make me angst, the seme was portrayed with realism in mind.. I mean I'm not a guy, but I don't think if you are a heterosexual before, you can't became a homosexual as easy as turning your hand. So even though I know the reason, I still don't like it :<

raped Matsuoka. Nothing that Matsuoka can say to himself can convince me that was nothing else than plain rape.

the fact that they end up together at the end of all this is not a happy ending in my books. Like WHY? Why could Matsuoka not just end up walking away and finding someone who truly loved and valued him as a person and did not take out their cowardly, selfish, jealous and insecure traits on him??????

... even if it feels unrealistic that a clearly obviously straight character as Hitosue would after 2 years of being disgusted of the male features of Matsuoka when it was fairly established early on that he had no hesitation when he actually liked some one and that he just wanted platonicly the good feeling that came with Matsuoka while selfishly wanting him to remain in love with him to feed his own insecurities

of how he toyed with M's feelings and was downright insensitive. It hurt so badly whenever he acted selfishly and walked all over M.

they wouldn't end up together. I wanted H to regret his choices and I wanted M to find someone else and live happily. Not every story needs a happy end and I think this one would've been better off without one.

... with Hirosue. I could completely understand Hirosue rejecting Matsuoka for the first time after he found out the truth, but after like two years of knowing each other and rejecting Matsuoka for the second time because he was convinced that he couldn't love a man, that kinda sealed the deal in my eyes. If after two years you can't love a person for who he is, then that's that, and I'm sorry but after that it just felt forced to have Hirosue's feelings change.

The beauty in this novel is probably how both grows to love each other even after finding out the other's bad side. Both Matsuoka & Hirosue falls in love with the idealized version of each other. Usually in rl relationship, people will break up after realizing that the other party is not as perfect as they hope to be. Matsuoka and Hirosue breaks up too, but in the end they can't let go and finally able to accept each others real self.

A lot of people say that Hirosue suddenly going gay is unrealistic and that the gay realization isn't real. I'm a woman who didn't understand her sexuality until much later when I realized that I fell in love with a former friend. I used to believe homosexuality was a 'sin' of sort, much due to media presented those lgbt+ as strange characters. It wasn't until I truly learned to like a girl that I denied that I was liking her, until I realize it was just hurting me for denying those feelings. People may think it's really sudden but sometimes it really does hit you, especially when you're told certain aspects growing up, and especially in a country like Japan where homosexuality and the such is so vauge. I truly love this novel for being true to that kind of struggle because it felt more real, and it put a lot more weight on the important of those emotions too. I really wanted to say this since I see a lot of people are saying Hirosue isn't realistic enough, because there's people like him in real life and sometimes.. They can end up fall in love the same way he did. Human nature has always been fickle after all, including love.