Links are NOT allowed. Format your description nicely so people can easily read them. Please use proper spacing and paragraphs.

If there really is a God, if there really is an afterlife; Please, give me a home.

— Mu Ran

Associated Names
One entry per line
Mục Nhiên
Related Series
End of Love (Shared Universe)
Gaze at the Scenes of Debauchery (2)
Unspeakable (2)
How Can I Get Rid of Him (2)
Like Love But Not (1)
4:48 (1)
The Decade of Deep Love (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Sad danmei
  2. Just another wife-chasing list
  3. Bl with shy MC and scum gong
  4. Best Bl I've read so far(the best according to me)
  5. Wistful reads

Latest Release

Date Group Release
10/24/22 BlackBoxTL c25
04/19/22 BlackBoxTL c24
02/06/22 Radish Thoughts... c26 part1
02/01/22 BlackBoxTL c23
01/25/22 Radish Thoughts... c25 part2
01/21/22 Radish Thoughts... c25 part1
01/14/22 Radish Thoughts... c24
01/06/22 Radish Thoughts... c23
07/29/21 BlackBoxTL c22
06/10/21 BlackBoxTL c21
02/21/21 BlackBoxTL c20
01/01/21 BlackBoxTL c19
12/20/20 BlackBoxTL c18
08/18/20 BlackBoxTL c17
06/02/20 BlackBoxTL c16
Go to Page...
Go to Page...
Write a Review
34 Reviews sorted by

New Haniii20 rated it
May 10, 2024
Status: Completed
* I think people should check the mtl because in the mtl the truth about MC blackmailing the ML wasn't really his fault, readers should check the mtl before making a final review so future readers won't get the wrong idea or be discouraged reading this novel.

ps. ML is a fUC**** scam, and his shitty ass friends too they should all get together in hell honestly. The entire time I was wishing MC to escape to a far away place or to just die if it means he can escape... more>> the life he had with ml. It was pure torture, ML didn't deserve a happy ending. <<less
0 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
New riveriver rated it
May 3, 2024
Status: Completed
Classic scum gong and innocent all-forgiving shou. There is nothing that distinguishes this story from other wife chase stories. To be honest, I was not satisfied with the ending of the story. ML didn't suffer enough. MC continues to be the same calm and quiet person who takes everything in stride. The reason why I gave it 3 stars is that the way the story is written is beautiful, it is understandable and it conveys the angst well.

I've only read this story 3 times and there is a saying that... more>> has been ingrained in my heart since the first time I read it and comes to my mind every time I look at the night sky and pray for something. Dear God, please give me a home in the after life. I still think about this sentence often since I first read it. (Maybe this quote may be the reason why I read it 3 times.)

I grew up in a very restless and disturbed home, full of fights. I have parents who really love me. But no one is perfect, and sometimes no one can choose how to deal with their troubles. I'm not angry at them, but in general, since I was little, I have never been able to relax for a long time and believe that everything will be okay. Later, my parents divorced, but the problems never ended. I had a loving mother and father from the beginning, but I never had a home. Afterwards, even if my mother married someone else and we moved countries, I could never feel at home. I don't know, maybe it's because I've never had a home to begin with and maybe I don't know what home really means. But I never felt like I belonged anywhere. At the end of the stories, there is a place where the main character can go after solving every problem, he goes and tells his loved ones, "I'm back." There is no place where I can say 'I am back'. Maybe it's because I'm not the main character. There is a saying that not everyone can be the main character, people always say maybe we are the bad guys from other stories. I am the cannon fodder of other people's stories. I felt cool thinking about it, but when I wrote it, I didn't feel good at all haha.

All my life I've been blown by the wind, blown so fast I don't know where I'm going and where I'm going I don't know what to do and what I want to do. Just since I was little, I dreamed of a family where the lights and laughter never went out even at night. People gathered around a table talking and laughing. Nobody blames each other. We don't mind anything. It doesn't matter if there is money or not, we just care about each other. We don't hurt each other for no reason. And at the end of the story, I look back and say, 'I'm back'.

Dear God, if there is an afterlife please give me a home. <<less
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
GoldenTiger0 rated it
May 29, 2019
Status: Completed
It's a gem!! But you would have to cry rivers for it. And it depends if you're actually able to read the novel through torment. The little girl Mu Hao gives some soothing effect to the crying spirits of the readers.

Moreover, it's a Tragedy - no HE (as I see). If you can't handle tragedies, read another novel. This ain't your cup of tea.

It's a very sensitive story. Both the MC and ML have done something to be regretted.

While MC once drugged ML and forced him and took some photos to blackmail him, his blackmailing was bound to have no substantial results due to ML's identity and he never made a full use of those. But he was given the retribution he should have been given, the ML didn't liked him and humiliated him. As for the ML's part, he not only humiliated the MC, he even retaliated back for three years, which is a big period of time when it comes to feelings. It is at this point that I feel that ML did wrong to MC. MC never asked for money from ML although ML had many lovers before to whom he gave sports car worth millions, but ML used MC's home as his own and humiliated him for three years to the point that a normal man came to have mental problems. ML was fully capable to check out MC's identity or even break-up with him at will, yet he didn't but continued to torture the poor guy.


In my opinion, even though ML and MC ended up together and ML also realised the pain of unrequited love, MC deserves to be with a person who's normal in all aspects especially when it comes to crazy tendencies such as those that ML had - torturing the MC's love for him and testing his bottom line. One who keeps him safe from such bad things and give security to MC's inferiority complex.

It's a great mental journey to go through when reading this. It really tells you how misunderstandings destroys one's life. Not caring for someone or indulging the person who's malicious for them turns out to bring not only slight harm but also destroying one's spirit, his mental world and his pillar of life.

For Mu Ran, meeting Yi Tian was the most fortunate event yet unfortunate also. The man aroused his love yet destroyed his spirit. If the ending of the novel hadn't shown Mu Ran happy, I might want to go and cut the author into pieces. But I doubt that he's really happy. It not HE.

What Yi Tian had done to Mo Ran for three years, if someone had done so to me for even a week, I might have well said a goodbye to that guy and left him behind to continue living my life without that jerk!

From when I started reading it and till the end, I think I have never had a single chapter in which I didn't cry! : (
48 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
meridianna rated it
June 14, 2019
Status: Completed
̶p̶̶l̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶r̶̶a̶̶n̶̶s̶̶l̶̶a̶̶t̶̶o̶̶r̶̶-̶̶s̶̶a̶̶m̶̶a̶̶, ̶̶ ̶̶s̶̶t̶̶o̶̶p̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶a̶̶k̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶n̶̶g̶̶s̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶n̶̶o̶̶v̶̶e̶̶l̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶a̶̶k̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶c̶̶u̶̶r̶̶i̶̶o̶̶u̶̶s̶
cough, curiosity kills the cat. and I am the cat.

in short, this novel is about two very-unsuitable persons entangled too deep in love. MC is too s*upid for his own good and falling too deep in his inferiority complex to acknowledge ML's love for him. and ML is too prideful to even admit that he loves MC and can't live without him. the result is tragedy, angst, misunderstandings and pain. in one word, geez.
the happy ending is quite a miracle tbh. is all the suffer really worth? idk and I'm pretty much sure I don't want to be in this kind of situation.
no, you can't change my mind.

truthfully I'm not fan of this genre that's why I can't bring myself to give 5 stars. I'm sorry to say that I'm too logical and heartless but still I can't change my way. even so, the flaws I said here are not exactly flaws. I know some people will indulge in this kind of things but I'm pretty sure I can't. really.

if you need some tear-jerkers, this one is really great. but if you feel you're not really in stable emotions or dislike dog-blood drama, I suggest you to avoid and find anything else.
i did not cry while reading, I admit. but that doesn't mean I was not shaken. I did convince myself several times that I won't make mistake like this CP and have this situation, constantly.

moral of story; please communicate properly and straightforwardly without any fear and cover, also just throw away some pride if you really love a person.
...... I said some, not all. ok?
38 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Wuxiwua rated it
July 29, 2021
Status: --
I'm sorry to all other readers who liked it, but I'm really disgusted.

It was disgusting in many ways. Both the main characters were so messed up, one more than the other.

The MC was pitiful to the point where I just wanted to go into the novel and kidnap him to bring him somewhere safe and far, far away from the other characters. Sometimes I even wanted him to just kill himself because the suffering was just way too much.

The ML, he was simply disgusting. The MC was in fault but... more>> not so much that he deserved what this f*cked up ML did to him.

I would not, by any chance consider this a happy ending (HE). Happy ending is a far cry.

I would not consider ending up romantically with a person who tortured you for year's, a happy ending. Sorry. If you only realize your love for a person after you torture and lose them, that is not love but a sickening obsession.

I would've rated it 4.5/ 5.0 if the novel had ended in tragedy.

This is a BE for me. <<less
29 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
byunnie rated it
April 29, 2020
Status: Completed
Excellent translation from bbtl as always but this novel was a hard miss for me.

... more>>

you see MC when you are a rapist you will be hated by your victim, so I don't really understand him moaning and being depressed about how ML wasnt won over by his years of house wiferywork (which we find out he was he was just a wacko too)

Yea yea its a plot twist but doesn't change the fact that that's what the ML thought of the MC ?????


ML being so unlikeable and the MC having the personality of cardboard box what a couple??

MC tactics to score a bf being r* him, blackmail him, do some great housewife work for a few years then when that doesn't work leave him and get amnesia is just *chefs kiss * <<less
21 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
littleflower rated it
January 17, 2022
Status: Completed
Let me just say that this novel was absolutely ATROCIOUS. I’m unbelievably disgusted by the ideas the author shows through this writing as every single last one of them was horrible. In no way was this a happy ending to me??? Is this writer crazy??? In the end I feel that the ML continues to stay a scum, seeing as how ... more>>

he literally f*cking stays friends with all the people who scorned and bullied the MC, especially the f*cking person who is basically one of the most, or the MOST, horrible people ever. This dude straight up KIDNAPPED and BEAT the MC due to his absolutely s*upid and psychotic jealousy, and is the mu*derER and driver in the car that ends up KILLING the mute woman - MC’s “mom” and the only person who has EVER treated him with true kindness and love. At the end the MC is f*cking COOKING for this f*cker and the rest of ML’s absolutely delightful friend group.


Literally every single person in this novel is so unbelievably horrible and cruel, from the ML, who treats the MC like human garbage, to the MC who loves him despite being treated like this???, to the ML’s friends and even ducking secretary???

There’s literally a scene where

the MC attempts to kill himself after the death of the mute woman and literally not a SINGLE PERSON around him cares whatsoever. The friend who was supposed to be watching him is like well how was I supposed to know he was going to try to kill himself?? And the secretary is like meh. WHAT THE HELL??? What kind of monsters are these people???


One of the characters I hated the most was He Xudong, one of the ML’s closest friends. He’s married to a psychologist named Xu Ran, who is probably the decentest character in this whole novel, except for the fact that she stays with He Xudong.

He Xudong, despite being one of the people who watches as the MC literally fall apart from emotional agony, feels literally ZERO f*ckING GUILT FROM WHAT HES DONE. LITERALLY NONE. ZERO. The only reason he regrets any of it is the fact that he knows Xu Ran, who’s a decent person, would probably leave him if she were to find out some of the inhumane things he’s done to help bully the MC. One of them being

deadass CALLING the MC and TYING him to a chair to listen as the ML f*cks someone else

I one hundred percent, the whole time, prayed that XuRan would dump his ass miserably so he could suffer. The novel is completed and I STILL WISH he would have a terrible ending, because it’s exactly what he deserves.

Anyways, this novel was absolutely disgusting and revolting in all ways, and I want my time and emotion back, because there is no way in hell this was satisfying to read. <<less
20 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
enaillig rated it
June 28, 2021
Status: Completed
I cried river of tears. I want to rate this 5/5 but reduced a point because the ML greatly disappoints me.

Let's talk about the Yi Tian (ML). At first, I had sympathy for him. He was drugged and blackmailed by Mu Ran (MC) to get into relationship with him. His emotions weren't just disgust by being forced to do something, it's also the feeling of being betrayed that's unbearable. So YT vowed, he would only submit once, but he would never ever give what MR wants—his love. After all, it... more>> is something that couldn't be forced, and MR also realized it belatedly, everything was his retribution, so MR just decided to end this 3 years farce. It should've ended beautifully this way.

What I couldn't stand is what happened after, as MR's stroke of luck also seemed to vanish right as he ended his relationship with YT. All sorts of bad things happened to him,

got beat up, got kidnapped, lost a loved one, and got insane

and other events interlinked with one another, both fanned by YT and his friends. It seems that in those 3 years they made a fool out of him and humiliated him wasn't enough. It's just... too much. In fact, this is where I'm most disappointed with YT. He clearly knew MR has deep-rooted inferiority complex, but never once he had tried to defend him from his as*hole friends. f*ck??? If there's cancer cells in your body it's better to just cut them off.

YT is too proud, domineering and indecisive for MC. He can't ascertain his own feelings to the point you'll doubt if he really loves him. MR was suicidal because he knew there's nothing in this world left for him anymore, the person he wants despise him, yet this person wouldn't let him go, but also couldn't give him what he wants. What a mentally ill patient needs most was constant reassurance, but YT just had to have too big of an ego he couldn't even be honest just for once. Instead, he trapped him in a cycle of endless torture. Forgive me, but there was even a point where I just wished for MR to die for real. Just to end his suffering because life, with addition of YT, just had to keep f*cking him up.

Tbh, my only salvation in this novel is Xu Ran's existence. She's like the spokesperson of every readers who share the same sentiments as her. Allow me to qoute what she said to Yi Tian on Chapter 20.

"Do you want him to live, or die or just go insane? If you want him to go insane, just throw him to a mental institution. If you want him to die, just let him be. In less than an hour, he'll make your wish come true... If you want him to live, then bring him home and accompany him everyday, show him concern and take care of him as though you would an ancestor."

Atleast, there are still good people present and that balances out the entire novel. Although I also think our MC deserves much better, but in the end, love cannot be forced, nor can it be measured by how much you sacrifice. Love is always a gamble. Who are we to say who deserves who? If that's where your happiness lies, then all sacrifices must be worth it. I can only be happy for Mu Ran, because finally. His wish came true despite all the difficulties.

4/5. Because WHO'S CUTTING ONIONS? <<less
15 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
puririnpa rated it
February 14, 2021
Status: Completed
Great story, making me cry for 4 hours and then giggled like a foolish for 3 hours
12 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
fudanshii18 rated it
September 3, 2021
Status: Completed
I couldn't really blame why ML acted this way to MC. It is also not to be blamed to MC why he became this way. What MC did is something unforgiveable. R*pe is r*pe no matter what, because s*x must be CONSENSUAL, therefore, it is still r*pe. I know no harm was brought to ML, but please r*pe is a different matter. ML deliberately disgusted MC by having s*x with other people.

Let me leave this paragraph because this is what I also wanna point out to ML:

“I just don’t get... more>> it. Didn’t he just give you, Young Master Yi, a mild dr*g, have s*x with you, then take a few photos? He even hid the photos so well that no one else could find them! Did he harm you over the past three years? Did he ask you for any money? Or is that Young Master Yi hasn’t had enough fun stabbing this person? Furthermore, if you truly hate him so much, you would have dealt with him properly three years ago. Instead, you deliberately kept him by your side, torturing him, almost causing him to have a mental breakdown! Do you feel a sense of pleasure or achievement doing this?!” - Xu Ran

Both MC at ML have their wrongs, but ML has gone overboard.

To Xu Ran, the only rational character in the novel deserves a better man. Though her husband hasn't done anything wrong to her. I just think she deserves more than that. I am glad that her husband (One of ML's buddy) is willing to change for her.


"Yi Tian and I were only a free s*x tool to each other, and he was a s*x tool that I had used a despicable method to capture and hold on to him."

In this line, we can see that they are not together. ML is not obligated to be romantic to MC. MC admitted it himself that he used "DESPICABLE METHOD" to bind ML.

I'm so used to novels with scum ML hurting the MC. But this time, it was actually the MC who harmed the ML first.

If ya'll think Lin Han is hateful, yes he is, but he is also pitiful. He has been in love with the ML for a long time more than the MC but it was fruitless. He knows he doesn't have a chance to be in the eyes of the ML, but he kept trying. I won't go in depth about Lin Han being vicious to MC. Because if I were Lin Han, I might do the same (He grew up in a wealthy and arrogant environment, him acting this way is not fully his fault.) I do hope he can find someone who can reciprocate his love.

When MC finally got a bit better, ML brought him to dinner with his friends. Unknowingly, ML's ex-lover shows up. The purpose of ML bringing MC to dinner is to announce their relationship (idk they are not in a relationship though) so people wont have a say. But then, do you kiss your ex-lover infront of the person you like just because MC is indifferent to you? You know well that MC has inferioty complex. MC didn't care tho because he doesn't want to entangle in ML's life anymore. I'm actually glad he didn't feel anything at that time. That's a wrong move for ML to do.

This is actually the first time in a novel where the ML is a scum that almost made me cry. MC is too pitiful. Every time, I keep wishing he could turn back to the time where he have not met ML.

We can see, as we read deeper, ML is serious about being with MC for life, but MC does not take any of that sh*t because of their past. In addition to having inferioty complex. ML is to be blamed but should be given a chance. It's a happy ending!

I wanna mention a lot of things here, but it has already been said from other reviews. I love this novel. I'm glad I gave this a chance! <<less
8 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
darkelf01 rated it
February 19, 2021
Status: Completed
This novel is like... The biography of a man with severe depression, inferiority complex and dependent personality disorder. Reading this novel is a painful thing not because of its drama, but because it's so real and true to the heart of the matter concerning depression.

Everyone in this novel are miserable, even the antagonists because they did knew about the mc's situation but not only did they not help him, but they also pushed him down.

I'm glad that the tears I wasted on this novel weren't at all useless because the... more>> ending is HE, but that actually depends on your own interpretation. I might think that it's a HE, but you might think that the MC is still trapped in ML's circle of toxic love.

As always, BlackBox loves to translate quality, classic novels. Thanks for the hard work 😁😁 though I ended up MTL-ing the novel because I'm impatient hoho <<less
8 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
zary11278 rated it
February 13, 2020
Status: c14
It is very well translated and the story is perfect in describing how an person might sometimes feel so hopeless and helpless in life and add to it the feeling of always feeling unworthy of love and then you will have this mess. Author has tried their best in portraying how sometimes a single gesture can save a soul as at the same time a careless one can destroy a life and how we sometimes forget that a human can be more fragile than a glass vase. Though we as... more>> people whom are observing the story from the sidelines can think that the protagonist is s*upid but are there really not ones like him out there? But I would have liked a different ending for this story. <<less
7 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
ra2nish rated it
February 18, 2023
Status: c25
Just shit, can we stop supporting novels with such toxic characters for once. Something wrong with all these people who rated it high, I would have loved it if MC left the ML in the end and I too love dog-blooded novels but literally this novel is just a no go. In my opinion ML doesn't deserve the MC even if he was a piece of shit, ML could've used other ways to hurt MC but just no. Don't wasted your time yall.

Say no to novels where ML doesn't deserve... more>> MC

say no to angst without proper wife chasing.

say no to illogical plots. <<less
5 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
November 8, 2020
Status: Completed
I just wanna preference this by informing the future readers that a lot of people are saying the MC r*ped and black mailed the ML I just wanna say:

... more>>

There's some plot bullsh*t that happens and yeah uh turns out he didn't. He was framed from what I got in the mtl and like he just said he did it because he couldn't get out of it. The story's pretty mediocre I wouldn't recommend reading it I just don't like how these people supposedly completed the story and don't know that plot twist.

5 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Suliana rated it
March 18, 2020
Status: Completed
Honestly, I cried so much. The MC is so innocent and sweet. Despite what the MC did to the ML, it was such a silly thing to do. He's such a fool, that you can't help, but love the MC. If you want a story that will is heartwrenching, fluffy, and dramatic. This is the story. There is however way too many hospital scenes and I do think the MC deserved better at the end, but it's just a story.
5 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
wired.eye rated it
February 1, 2023
Status: Completed
First, I don't understand some of lowrated reviews, based on the 'rape' tag. Please, this supposed to be a tragedy, bad things obviously will happen. For me, this is the same as reading a novel with 'war' tag, and lowrated it because of so many deaths.

Anyway, I lost my hair and my nails reading this.

I expected this novel to be just another 'Justine', but the combination of two mentally unstable protagonists, plus some scum friends balanced with some other good, cleaver, or insightful people, prevents it from being another... more>> flat dog blood story.

MC paid a disproportionate price for his (disgusting, of course) mistake from the past. The characters are not cute, perfectly living in a romantic ideal fujoshi world. They are just humans, flawed, distorted, weak humans. Again, DON'T EXPECT CUTE FLUFFY MOMENTS, even later, after their redemption (kind of), you can see that their relation is not stable and functional, that's consistent with their trajetory. <<less
4 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
luxrayo rated it
January 6, 2022
Status: Completed
cried buckets. 5/5 if you are looking for pain.

we are not rediscovering the wheel here, some guilty pleasure reading for angst degens.

there is a plot twist that all but one or two of the reviewers actually read so take the reviews with a grain of salt.
4 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Berlin rated it
September 6, 2021
Status: --
Haven't finished this yet but I can see where this is going. I'd give it 4 stars for drama alone, but 3 overall, because the characters brought it upon themselves and it felt like the author was just squeezing the tragedy out of the story and trying to justify how much the MC has suffered despite him being the one who blackmailed the ML with r*pe at the start. That, for me will always be a tiebreaker and unforgivable.

However, what the ML does is worse. His friend was right to... more>> say that if he really had hated MC that much, he could have just cut ties with MC instead of trying to hurt the MC in equally despicable ways. And when it turns out that he did like the MC (uh... why? And how? Because the MC's selflessness to make up for the blackmail finally moved the heart of the ML???), he was such a dumbf*ck in taking care of him. I can't believe he brought him out to meet his friends who tormented the MC knowing that MC won't have a good time at all.

The tragedy that happens one after the other is like a train wreck you can't look away from. It's almost funny how so many bad things can happen to the MC one after another, as if the author is out for his blood. For the drama alone, it is entertaining. Don't get me wrong, I still feel sad and angry whenever the a**holes go overboard but it's also too much that it feels contrived. <<less
4 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
JustAki rated it
July 27, 2021
Status: Completed
Did I cry?

I did read this to abuse my heart.

... more>>

Let's start with the beginning.

We have MC, who blackmailed ML in order to get him to love him. MC is an orphan who was adopted 3 times in his life. The first adoption ended with him going back to the orphanage after the first couple had their own child, the second adoption failed because the adoptee felt like MC was too misbahaving and third ended with MC being abused to the point of dying.

MC who is deprived of love blackmailed ML who he first saw and liked at the first sight. Did he do the wrong thing?

I'm not going to justify what MC did after he r*ped and drugged ML.

And then we have ML who has been drugged and r*ped. He has a family, a rich one, friends around him and etc. Things that MC doesn't have. Things wouldn't have degraded if ML should have just arrested MC but what did he do?


At least, there's one rational person in the story It's not ML nor is it MC.

“Auditory hallucinations, visual hallucinations, slow in thought, hesitancy in communication. There’s symptoms of hysterical psychosis, as well as severe depression. Do you want this person to die, to live, or just go insane?”

Not waiting for a response from Yi Tian, Xu Ran spoke again, her words speeding up, “If you want him to go insane, you can just throw him in a mental institution. If you want him to die, just leave him in his bed, don’t bother with getting anyone to watch over him. In less than an hour, he’ll help make your wish come true.” At this moment, she paused, her voice carrying a mocking tone. “If you want him to live, then you bring him home and accompany him everyday, showing him concern and taking care of him as though you would an ancestor.”

4 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Raven Tan
Raven Tan rated it
January 28, 2021
Status: Completed
Well, basically this is quite disturbing, especially the value ML's family shown. His father beat him until collapse for 'his sake' while his mother approved it, then sent MC into small town despite his health problem. Ml's friend circle is chaotic and lacking morals. Before the first r*pe photo incident, it's Ml's friends who call MC and deliberately 'playing' him. And sorry I dont believe ML was r*ped, It's difficult to r*pe a large man except you incapacitate him completely or threatening him to submit then sodomize him. Mostly only... more>> s*xual harassment, that's why most case of male r*pe without sodomy were failed. And ML originally has been already 'dirty' enough. I would say karma is a bit*h and ML & family got theirs.

The one who paid too much is MC. It's like he stole and the judge has his hand being cut as punishment and after he got his unjust punishment, ML friends and family still try to throw stones and even kill him. Truly too much. But this story can show us moral bankruptcy in mainland chinese society and it's quite realistic. (You can read it in newspapers, even President Xi Jinping believes China is losing its moral compass n chinese government admitted it, to the point of planning to add buddhist and taoist moral in school curriculum despite their communist ideology). And no man can be imp**gnated here so ML did surrogacy and MC accepted it and even love this child. Such realistic conclusion.

And there's second "ML",

but you will find it in very very late chapters near the end. Haha. Guess who? He's the one who always be near ML and mc

4 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Crabby rated it
March 14, 2021
Status: c36
I was fine at first, a little bit of anger and rivers of tears started coming out towards chapter 17, but then... the next chapter only contains my flat face, either because the mtl is bad or something but the whole next chapter is not very interesting and I am not even interested to continue after reading only until chapter 36 after much struggle mustering up the intention to continue it. Truth be told the ML redemption struggle was so boring that I expected MC to drown and die in... more>> chapter 17 and the story ends. Wonder where they say this is the most recommended Angst novel from Chinese readers? <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
King of No Killing
King of No Killing rated it
February 12, 2021
Status: c80
Alas. I thought I wouldn't be able to finish it. Reading ch 1 alone made my blood boil. Indeed the story was too angsty and I guess the ML did his best to prove his love to the MC. The ending was satisfying. The second to the last paragraph really showed Yi Tian's dedication to Muran. The story would really give you some difficulty in breathing but it's not as dogblooded as INTOXICATION for me. Anyway, I would still recommend this novel to my friends, that is if they are... more>> willing to translate the raws like what I and some of the readers did.

Edited 22 Sept. 2022: After rereading it, I just want to change my rate from 4 to 5 stars but I don't think it's possible to change it now. Sigh, this still made me cry. I just want to make it clear that there are 75 chapters and 5 extras, 80 chapters in total - and the 80th ch was the one that made me choked. Muran's life is too heart wrenching and I'm glad that he found a place he can call a home surrounded by the people he loves. <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Leave a Review (Guidelines)
You must be logged in to rate and post a review. Register an account to get started.