If You Are a Dodder Flower


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In her previous life, she tried her best, she struggled. In the end, she has lost to her own mediocrity.

In this life, she resigned to her fate.

After her mother passed away, Xia Rou reincarnated as an orphan and she got taken in by her mother’s lover. Once again she stepped into Cao family, and once again she had to confront the people she loved and hated…

She dares not to expect anything, only except that she won’t suffer any more in this life…

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Related Series
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47 Reviews sorted by

New IenoAT rated it
June 5, 2020
Status: --
It's a good novel fluffy at the beginning and kinda turned sad at the end, I loved how rou grow up.. It was so heart warming

her relationship with cao yang with really good not rushed.. I liked that she didn't like him early cause she needed time to mature and realize her feeling from treating him like a brother to Treat him like a real lover

what I didn't like the most and why I took away a star how the author kept describing her as an obedient girl a girl... more>> how knew her place and was aware that she is not the smartest out there I felt it was describing a pet not a human being.. Chinese culture have these concepts that girls must be brainless and obedient and in most novel or tv dramas the ML must be super smart and amazing in every aspect while the FL lead would just be decoration that magnify his brilliance 😒

i wished coa an had an better ending, did he confess to his family? Did they end up together? They were such a sweet couple so I wished there was an satisfying happy ever after for them <<less
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New summerspring
June 2, 2020
Status: Completed
It was a nice story. I feel like the momentum dropped a bit at the end but I cant blame the author as it was getting somewhat dark towards the end. After chapter 70 it feels like the author cut down on a lot to keep the story short. It wasn't horrible but it did affect my rating for this story as it didn't seem to match the start. Not horrible though. Funny and thought provoking. Really nice.
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Chiaroscuro rated it
March 21, 2019
Status: c16 part2
3 stars for writing really

-2 stars for writing

-1 stars for characterization

... more>> -0.5 for BL lmao

And deducted 2 stars because of sexist chauvinistic stuffs

(Mods I accidentally clicked 1 stars orz help fix)

Also there's BL mentioned, not prominent enough just like something in your peripheral vision.

The characterization is good, the MC is just a girl trying to live her life the second times, avoiding mistakes etc. The writing is really good.


I was very uncomfortable when reading this. Not because the age gap (well 14 years is a bit iffy) but because the overall tone of this novel. The author keep saying stuffs like how the male is satisfied because she's quiet, obedient, elegant with her snow white neck etc. And it's because they're dominant and used to give orders to people. How obedient and quiet girls are more... Likeable. It's like how people of old preaching woman's virtue all over again. The MC is like... White lotus or something. She's pretty, quiet, and obedient. Did I say obedient?? I understand it's because her past (how she used to be contrary and headstrong etc creating problems for her family) but at this point I don't care enough because it's the same stuff author writes over and over again. If I have to be dramatic, it feels like author brainwash us that obedient, quiet and pretty girls are more likeable.=_= <<less
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Moonson rated it
January 23, 2019
Status: c76
For those who love a deep romance story, which challenge the social classes, family-border and human complex feelings, then this is your cup of black tea in your mid twenties.

The story might be shorted to the rebirth of MC that trying to work her life to be the better one.

The special part is the MC is really conscious about her ownself. She comes from the different class with the ML and she tried hard to not be greedy with life as her own past life.

The story grows from MC childhood... more>> to eventually growing mature. The love story progressing fast at the end of the chapter. And voila, its a happy ending.

Very worth reading for those who wants to read a novel with more challenging romance plots. <<less
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BobChan rated it
September 16, 2019
Status: c20 part1
Just about 1/3 of the way and I've read the words 'quiet' and 'obedient', more than I can count with my two hands. And there's still many more to come. It's ridiculous how the author uses it and adds after, "If she could only stay like this forever" or "Their gaze turned gentler seeing her so obedient".

... more>>

A few examples:
Ch. 1 part 2
Her (Cheng Wan) neck was long and white as snow, it was a beautiful curve when she lowered her neck, at the same time it also symbolizes her humble obedience.

This action of hers has made Cao Xiong felt satisfying.

Ch. 2 part 1
She's (Cheng Wan is) not clever, sometimes blurry, the worse is she doesn't really pay attention, when anything happens, she doesn't have any idea on what to do. She only knows to be gentle and obedient.

Ch. 2 part 2
This woman is soft and obedient, she is just like a plant of dodder flower raised in Cao Xiong's room, can only be used for relaxing and decorate the scenery to be more pleasing. Even Cao Xiong himself thought the same looking at Cheng Wan.

Ch. 2 part 2
Obedient, that was his third thought. That attitude, within her softness there was a sense of obeisance that would satisfy a man.

Ch. 3 part 2
Before he met her, he already had some thoughts in mind. If she is obedient, then they will take her as their little sister, accommodate her to study on a university, and help her choose a great husband in the future, and we'll act as her maiden home. But, if she is a troublemaker, then he will let her live comfortably until she turns into an adult, and give her some money to do whatever she wants.
Ch. 3 part 2
Fortunately, Xia Rou looked like an obedient child. He hoped that she would behave like her mother and not make any troubles to the family.

Ch. 4 part 1
Seeing the child obediently listening to her advice, Lady Fang's expression wasn't as serious. Although she didn't like the child's status, she still pitied her for becoming an orphan; her eyes when she looked at her were friendlier now.

Ch. 4 part 2
Great, this girl is very quiet. If she could be this quiet forever, that would be best.

To give her food, clothes and shelter, and then let her study in a university. The way she looked now, she didn't seem to be troublesome.

Ch. 5 part 2
"She looks fine. She cried for a bit so she's probably still upset. Just give her some comfort. She even burnt some paper money for Aunt Cheng just now." He thought of it and added: "Quite sensible, and quiet."

Ch. 6 part 1
Cheng Wan's personality had always been as such. When someone exerted force, she would choose to simply be obedient. It was really luck that had brought her to Cao Xiong after she had been dumped by her former husband.

Ch. 6 part 2
In the eyes of an elder, an obedient child was usually lovely.


The bones of the plot can be considered to be good, but paired off with the 'silence and obedience is virtue of a girl'—it just becomes bland.

As the other reviews had stated, the author writes mildly in a sexist way. The female protagonist is one that does go with the flow, but they're rather just meek and a white lotus.

At this point of the story, I can't say that I'm too interested but it's not so bad yet—there's just annoyance at the number of sexist terms used and how it's just accepted because of what happened.

The translation quality is very good though. Would recommend if you really have time to read, are bored out of your mind, have patience, and can take what is being written with a grain of salt. <<less
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j.sambac rated it
April 6, 2020
Status: Completed
If You Are a Dodder Flower should more properly be summarized as such:

In her previous life, Xia Rou actually had somewhat of a backbone, had a few opinions, and acted her age. In the end, after receiving a chance at reincarnation, she realizes that being Queen of Doormats is the way to go.

Despite reading a few reviews, I decided to give this novel a chance as I particularly enjoy reading reincarnation stories and this also seemed to have a darker romantic angle (relationship between brother/adoptive? Sister, 14 year age gap... more>> between the love interests). After starting the story, though, the story began to show its cracks.

In Xia Rou’s, the FL, previous life, she enters the Cao family and sincerely tries her best to avoid becoming the type of woman her mother had become. She rebels, she argues, and she treats those who understand her with respect. Because of her ‘rebellious’ nature, she makes a decent number of ‘enemies’, including those in her adoptive family. Also, because she is fairly young and innocent, she has a hard time understanding the people around her. All in all, she was acting as an age appropriate, strong-willed female lead. Though, those decisions caused her untimely death.

After her rebirth, she doesn’t choose to get revenge, instead she respects the opinions and decisions the Cao family had set forth for her initially. She removes all opinions and feelings that are contradictory to the Cao family (basically acts as an ‘obedient’ pet for them) and in the end, she lives a much smoother life.

What I liked

  • 5/5 for translation quality. Was very easy to read and the dialogue ran fairly smoothly
  • Hu Xuan was my favorite character. Despite having a rough introduction to the story, he was the most ‘human’ of characters. He was charming due to his flaws, and I wish the author had expanded on his story a little bit more.
  • The Cao siblings when they weren’t remarking on the FL’s obedience and quietness. The interactions Xia Rou had with the playful Cao An, the fluffy Cao Xing, the serious Cao Bin, and the leader Cao Yang were great. Honestly, this novel would’ve been much better if it were about the manly Cao family trying to cope and adopt with a female in the house.
What I didn’t like

  • The repetitive nature of the story. There are many, many instances of the FL being described as ‘quiet’ and ‘obedient’ almost making me wonder if Cao Xiong truly wanted to adopt the FL or whether he just wanted a doormat to fuel his and his son’s egos. Not to mention, there were many instances of the FL describing her past in a vague manner that I ended up skimming the past recollections. In the end, I never really understood how she died.
  • The doormat characterization of the FL. I understand the FL’s greatest worry is to never become the type of woman her mother became, but, if she wanted to, she could’ve achieved her happiness without becoming a ‘mistress’ or a ‘doormat.’
  • ML should’ve just stayed as a brother instead of a love interest. This man honestly wasn’t even the best brother in my opinion (for me, Cao An was certainly the best of the brothers), but he took care of her appropriately. After becoming the love interest, he was no better than his chauvinistic father. The last few chapters were just hard to stomach as he forced the romance onto the FL.
To put it simply, this was an easy read, but the characterization truly killed this book from becoming anything more. I think I would’ve loved it if the author wrote about her initial life. <<less
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Pink-kun-s rated it
September 11, 2019
Status: c1 part1
I have no problem with the translation, it is great. The story itself isn't, really. I can't understand those stellar reviews.

The writing style is okay I guess, but the content made me feel uncomfortable all over. The males in here are chauvinistic pigs, yes I am eyeing the ML and his father too. What's with this brainwashing that obedient, spineless, cute and just shut up and look pretty kind of girl are the best? Sorry, it just doesn't sit well with me.

The MC is repeatedly said to be s*upid and... more>> this is really annoying. She has no backbone and does every little thing the ML says. Though it is related to her previous life, but to this degree, it is insane! She's always praised by other characters for knowing her place and this has me wanting to smack my computer.

The ML is a pig and the MC is full of double standard concerning him. He's a player and apparently likes to be obeyed. And in all truth, the guy should have stayed that brother figure instead of pursuing her. I would have stomach it better then.

Reading this only served to boil me with anger and I wished that the MC would have left that house and started a whole brand new life somehow. <<less
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EmpressRouge25 rated it
November 5, 2019
Status: Completed
Damn. I never saw the last few chapters coming. I guess it was because I am too used to easy going rebirth stories. I have actually been putting off this book for awhile as the summary scared me. Ex and issues? Mostly a bad sign. But this book was not about revenge. It was about the main character finding herself and her place. I was really glad about the growth she displayed. Although I was wanting a sickeningly fluffy story, I’m not mad at this.
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Kei-Em03 rated it
August 3, 2019
Status: Completed
First off, its so easy to MTL. I love how she's being doted on. Love the brother's interaction with her.

... more>>

Though I am a bit put off with how fast they came together that I feel there should have been more chapters so it couldve been dealt with in a more slower pace than that (they jump off like ML:I love you, MC:Confuse and all, a day passed and they are already making out, then like a week/couple of weeks passed and BAM they did it)

So this could have more chapters in it.

The mental breakdown was wow. Its great that it was put in because boy thats a natural reaction.

But then I was hoping for more chapters. Its like the whole plot of thing were made at the least the very last 5 chapters.

Then the ending was so abrupt that I was hoping for atleast 1 extra which was sad cause theres none.

And also, even though ilove how shes being doted on. I cant help but feel that shes being tamed to be obedient. Its like they have a Sub-Dom relationship 🥴


Nonetheless, the novel is a 3 for me, great peak (though gosh that's short), good story if you ignore all the male chauvinism lines. Translations a 4 great work and thanks 😘😘😘, characters are likeable on their own, but together cause some characters to look abit like a scum 😵


though Id have to admit the brothers are so loose with their s*x life (or was that a natural thing for guys 🤔)

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ike_00000 rated it
July 1, 2019
Status: c35.2
So good!!!

Characters: MC is a lil listless and weak, but it's alright even for someone that hates weak female leads. Her self-awareness certainly helps, although it's kinda over-emphasized in the story, but it's true eg. In the situation with He Lili and Cao Yang. I actually really like the other characters and her relationships with them all, especially ML. I love the building of building familial ties with this group; I would have loved if there was more detail about how she bonded with each member, not just Cao Yang... more>> and Cao An (like we know why for the others, but it's not really as thoroughly explored, especially with the second brother). The side character Hu Xuan is also really good. I like that the author portrays both the beautiful and ugly side of her characters, acknowledging relationships and people is a flighty thing (Hu Xuan is the best example, and even MC's relationship with Lady Fang).

Yes there's definitely chauvinistic elements, but personally when I read this story I chalk it up to that particular family's interests as well as the reality of the upper-class social circles of this setting. In the beginning it is especially irksome, when the author describes the mother, but MC herself has tried NOT to be a dodder flower. There's two outlooks on the author's real opinion: (1) MC is trying not to be that white lotus stereotype, and author is making a small protest against the chauvinism or (2) since MC "fought" her last life and failed and is more obedient, similar to her mother, this life, author is condoning it. Either way, even as a girl growing up in a society that teaches all to be independent, I don't really find this affecting my enjoyment of the story (after the part of the mother).

Plot: Definitely a slice of life story, but it's basically as the synopsis says. A girl was taken in by a rich and powerful family; she caused a lot of trouble for these people that cared about her in her past life, so now all she wants to do is listen and not worry them. As she grows up with them, the lines between familial and romantic bonds slowly become blurry. I'm excited to read more as her past gets increasingly revealed!

It does feel like there's a little bit of inconsistency in her past life though since she was supposed to be super thorny yet somehow the brothers still liked her? Oh well

Writing: Pacing is good, great writing and translation! Very little translation error and some passages even show literacy beauty. The update speed is also quite good right now, thank you to the translators!!

Overall, this is definitely a recommended read for those that like this genre! <<less
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Randomness rated it
June 28, 2019
Status: Completed
The characterizations are good, the story flow is smooth enought, and I honestly doesn't feel bored when I read this novel.

But.. How should I say this

... more>>

I liked the characterizations, but I hate the chauvinisme implied within.

MC's character : I liked her self-awareness, but I disliked the implication that in order to be 'better', the MC don't give herself a breathing room. No wonder near the end, the break down happened. And I hate the fact that MC is more doll than human at that point, so content to have her future decided by others. Self-knowledge doesn't mean crushing your dreams and become puppet.

When the MC and ML are merely 'siblings', I liked their relationship. I know they will end up together, but when it happens, I found myself wishing that MC stays with The Boyfriend.

MC and ML's relationship is seriously unbalanced and unhelathy. It's fine when they are 'siblings', but when ML forced the romance, I feel myself losing the fondness I have for the ML. I am left wanting to scream, "Scum!" towards the ML.


Nevertheless, I found myself remembering this book, long after I finished it, so in my mind it's worth the 4 stars. <<less
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astroblues02 rated it
February 16, 2019
Status: --
I often wonder how it would be like to be reborn to the past. Unlike other reincarnation/transmigration/reborn novels, this one gives a vivid description of what it would be like if one is reborn. The MC's growth is slow but compared to how she was in her past life, she has accepted who she is and what she is in the family. The ML made himself as her guardian and from there his love blossoms for her without him knowing. The pivotal point is somewhere near the end of the... more>> story where the female finally integrates the past and the present to fully accept the reality which is... they both love each other.

BTW, translation quality is superb. I just MTLed it after reading chapter 8. The story is worthwhile, more slice of life mixed with fluff *whispers* 14 years age gap^^ <<less
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PinkCornstarch rated it
January 28, 2020
Status: c79
This story is about abuse. The story was actually great at the start, but it developed slowly into thriller lol. The MC was happy to have found a loving family and a boyfriend that is good and cute. Their relationship was so sweet. But the ML who is her brother 14 yrs older than her ruined her. The ML is so horny and lustful that does it with any woman that is his 'type'. And MC happens to be his 'type'. He is overbearing and controlling. He became obsessed and... more>> entitled to the MC because he 'raised' her. He was forceful and sexually harassing her. The ML broke the MC. The MC developed a mental illness because she cannot accept the reality that the 'brother' she respects did that to her. She started having issues differentiating between the ML as a man and as a brother. It was actually painful and disturbing to read. The father and other brothers reactions were also shallow. The story ends abruptly with no closure. I think she just accepted the ML because she does not want to lose her beloved and respected 'brother'. <<less
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November 4, 2019
Status: --
I can't really evaluate this novel without my political bias so I refuse to rate it. As a Chinese person I actually totally understand why many people rated it lower because in our culture the quiet obedient submission women is technically and traditional an ideal wife/female partner. Luckily I was never raised in such an environment. Not only do I think it'd backwards, I hate this type of female lead anyways. The story was ok but I can't swallow the pu*sy pill this book is shoving down my throat
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Miss Ruby
Miss Ruby rated it
September 29, 2019
Status: Completed
I read the whole thing in one day. Some parts of it didn't sit well with me, like how she kept talking about how terrible she was in her previous timeline. In my opinion, she behaved just as she should have, considering her circumstances. Another part, is the misogynistic aspects sprinkled all over the book but I won't go into that.

The ending was frustrating to read through. I wish she had ripped out the ML's balls. What a piece of shit. Can't say anymore or it ventures into spoiler territory.

PS:... more>> The translation is outstanding. <<less
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Jaklique rated it
March 2, 2020
Status: Completed
Having known both chinese and english, I think there's a slight misinterpretation in english translation, not because the translation is bad, but it's complicated to explain an culture idea in a single word. Yes, this novel does like to use "obedient" and "quiet" a lot, it can be quite confusing and baffling, and honestly, I can't think a better word to use.

There is quite a bit of jarring feelings between the "past" and "present" her and this novel does well in describing the timidity of the FL as well as... more>> the dominance of MLs. The writer talks about the gap of the super rich circles, of males and females in china which is plenty of interesting stuff. The characters are flawed, their thinking process are flawed and that's pretty normal in real life. Versus saying that females should be "quiet" and "obedient" as a lot of people seem to take away, I think the novel's take away is that a ripple can change the future. The FL and ML talks a lot about "quiet" and being "obedient" but basically it's FL trying to strike out a completely route as opposed to her previous one.

This novel is fairly gritty in the stuff it talks about underneath all the fluff, so if you're thinking of reading this, be prepared for that! And the ending is heaps of gritty too.

The good things:
1) The writer's writing is really good
2) The characters are flawed and realistic
3) Background, and world creation (or side character creation in this case) was done well

The bad things:
1) The ending felt rushed
2) I think the writer should have added a closure for what happened in her past
3) Or basically closures for several things. (I need to know what happens to WQ) <<less
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Chachatou rated it
January 26, 2020
Status: Completed
I was long perpexled in between rating this novel 3 or 5 stars but I still settled on the latter.

Despite the misogyny and chauvinistic views held by some male characters, the world building, the translation and the literary qualities of the novel uphold the whole. Readers shouldn’t stop reading this novel because of the disturbing chauvinistic parts.

Let me tell you why.

I don’t condone this kind of mindset but first it should be a general understanding from the title of the novel that misogyny will be the main theme of the... more>> novel. To be qualified as a dodder flower means to be someone who can’t survive or withers easily without a stronghold (often represented by men). In this life, FL tried with all her might to not be assimilated to a dodder flower to the point of belittling herself, trying to stick to her place as an orphan adopted by the Cao family, never going out of the reach of her original social standing thus not relying on eating their rice for her future living and truly be independent. But what she lacks is affection and to gain the Cao family members affection she subconsciously acted obedient and gentle (epitome qualities of a dodder flower) like her mother. From another perspective she just acted in a totally opposite way from her previous life.

When regarding things further it is easy to understand that Xia Rou’s previous life and her own mother’s relationship with men left a huge psychological shadow on FL resulting in her conflicting behavior.

All these elements can’t be understood until the end of the novel (that I’ve found disappointingly rushed because it was the only moment where you can really detect the character growth of FL).


FL started to develop mental issues because of ML ‘forceful’ claim on her because she never expected that he had feelings for her and she had trouble to distinguish the boundaries between their brother-sister relationship in her past life and their brother sister relationship turned lovers after rebirth. It was interesting because the psychologist diagnosed her with schizophrenia. The schizophrenia was affecting her memory and she may have builded other memories by herself (representing her past life). Maybe I MTLed wrong on this fact but still it casts a net of doubts on the existence of her rebirth. It may be the only novel where the fact of being reborn wasn’t justified as a fantasy element or a ‘dream’


Anywho ! It is a realistic novel portraying a lot of complex human relationships with deep psychological reflections behind.


Wether it is the brother with a fluff pets fetish or the gay brother who doesn’t have the guts to come out of the closet but still wants to selfishly monopolize his lover when he can’t give him what he needs (an honest relationship in the lights)


Every character is interesting in a way. <<less
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blazikens rated it
January 22, 2020
Status: c4
God.... never thought I would come across such a hateful novel.

Putting aside the fact that the ML is f*cking pedophile for falling in love with a girl 14 yrs his junior, especially when he met her when she was just a kid, the fact that FL basically crushes her self-esteem and pride and ambition for life in her rebirth is so hateful... Just so she can be portrayed as some ideal gentle, virtuous woman wtf. And the fact that a lot of her behavior in the previous life was completely... more>> justified, I just couldn't continue reading this after that s*upid housekeeper told her to stop wearing black and the MC thought she was so ridiculous in her past life 🙄🙄🙄

Paired with the misogyny already described in other reviews, I would say this novel is for people who like doormat MCs and overbearing MLs who think women are his playthings and only respects them if they're from the same class as him. I mean... just look at how the MC's mother and ML's father are portrayed 🤢

P.S.: Rebirth is supposed to mean the MC becomes better and more mature, not a shadow of their former self. "Knowing her place", so what just because she wasn't born rich, she's not allowed to want more out of life?! It would've been a much better story if the previously ambitious yet blind MC paired her ambition with perspective. <<less
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Fictionaddiction rated it
March 15, 2019
Status: c1 part1
This story is really good. I'm addicted and keep checking for new updates every 5 min. You will love it with your heart even if you may sometimes not agree in your mind.

The translation is excellent and it's updated regularly.

Summary which contains some spoilers:

... more>>

Xia Rou reincarnated in her 15 year old body after dying at 25. She wants to correct the mistakes she made by hurting the people she loved due to her inferiority complex.

her mother a weak lady has been abandoned by her father for that reason and thus after attempting suicide was rescued by Cao Xiong. Who wanted a mistress bec. He felt lonely after the death of his wife, and didn't wish to introduce a stepmother to his 4 sons (although they know about the mistress).

constantly hearing others calling her mother a mistress Xia Rou felt inferior and was determined to be better than her.

after her mother's death. Cao Xiong took her to raise. Due to the family being a military family and somewhat poor in communication+servant gossiping+her already low self esteem from being a mistress' daughter. She was willful and ignored the Cao family's well wishes bec. She viewed them as though they were looking down on her.

In this life she understands their good intentions and strives to not hurt their feelings and be a good girl.

why I said you would love this with your heart but maybe not mind?

Because I do believe her actions in the first life are justified. For example, her mother just died and she is wearing black. The house keeper tells her you are in somebody else's house and it brings an ominous feeling, so you should wear neutral colors. So she goes online and fills her whole wardrobe with black. And this causes the house keeper to treat her stiffly! I would do the same if I were her honestly. Anyway I won't add more coz I hate lengthy reviews.

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Amatullah rated it
January 6, 2020
Status: c40
This is actually good, I managed to read it to the 40th chapter before I dropped it. Its to damn chauvanistic and rooted in patriachy. The only good thing about the MC is that shes obedient, quiet, obidient, s*upid, and obedient. Oh, and must not forget, her looks.

All that is actually tolerable, because different strokes for different folks. But what disgusts me is how all the male characters and the MC herself thinks having men having s*x with different women is OK, because they are men; they are just playing.

I... more>> understand having sex, but only if its rooted in equality. If both men and women are engaged in it equally, to gain the same thing from the transaction.

But the s*x here is treated like some sort of privelege that the higher class men have over the lower class women. The ML even said that he and his friends dont have s*x with women of the same social strata.

All in all, its good enough for a light read. But really really not recommended for people who are feminist inclined. <<less
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iampheng rated it
October 30, 2019
Status: c55.2
I think I'm about 2/3 through the novel, and can guess where it's headed, so I will offer my opinion.

The translation is excellent---I'd give them 5/5 alone.

This novel was good to read in one sitting, but once you pause reading and really think about the dynamics in the novel, it's kind of problematic. I'm not saying the author is problematic, I'm saying the author has, perhaps intentionally, crafted problematic leading characters. The characters are just so... painfully imperfect and realistic in how problematic they are (hah, sorry). To be clear,... more>> perfect characters are kind of annoying because they're hard to relate to. For the characters in this novel, their imperfections, specifically the characterization of the female characters aren't too difficult to be sympathetic towards (me, being a woman). There are so many kinds of women in this story, ranging in the following characterizations: gentle and weak, capable and arrogant (my fave, hehe), ambitious and short-sighted, and once bitten-twice shy. The MC is the last kind. She's alright... as the other reviewers have mentioned, her outstanding characteristics include being obedient and gentle. Oh... and she apparently has a really small waist ::shrugs:: I preferred the sassier and more ambitious her. So, sure she's got some self-awareness about her "place." But let's be real, many of the women in this story "know their place"... the places that the men in the story have put them.

And, that part is my major annoyance towards the story. The Men. I didn't care about the age difference (didn't even notice) between the MC and ML. I didn't care about the MC and ML's sibling-like relationship. I didn't even care about how the MC was dangerously treading into Mary Sue territory. For me, despite the varied and nuanced portrayals of women characters, the Men are all... kind of basic and one-note. Many of the men characters can be summed up in a few words: class conscious and chauvinistic (at varying levels). Their interactions with women depended on her pedigree. This is very obvious in the characterizations of the interactions of the major male characters towards all of the women in the story, and the orientation of characters towards the MC---her value in "high society" (or whatever) rests on her relationship with the powerful men in her "family." So, it's how the men characters view the women characters in the story that bothers me.


Conversely, think about the interaction between Hu Chen and that Liang guy. Though Liang is obviously an ambitious up and coming nouveau riche, he's still admired for being so by Hu Chen.


This made me wonder if the author low-key didn't like men or was making a subtle critique of classism and hetero-patriarchy. Oh, hetero-patriarchy and not just patriarchy because one of the major supporting male characters is bi and struggling with being in the closet (and he's actually kind of toxic and dangerous; I'm hurt). Yeah, so basically, the men characters are disappointing to me because they're imperfect in very mediocre and common (albeit, realistic) ways. I prefer my ML's, and even second ML's, to be a little bit more special than just being hypocrites with money, power, and high libidos ::lolz::.


I think that the readers were supposed to feel a certain way when we realize that the ML was in love with/will fall in love with the MC over two lifetimes. So, that meant that regardless of whether she was unruly and ambitious or gentle and obedient, he loved her unconditionally. I didn't really buy that lol. I feel like a small waist can only get you so far lmaooo. jkjk


Lastly, I never got the feeling that the author meant for us to believe that the MC's new found self-awareness was all that great. Despite all the praise she got, the MC's gentleness and obedience felt like her penance for the wrongs she believed she committed in her past life. I felt kind of "meh" about that. Partially because of that point, I feel that the story kind of takes itself a little too seriously when we should really be reading it for entertainment. As another reviewer mentioned, try not to learn anything from the story. lol. Just read it for fun and rejoice that we don't have to live such a restrained life like the MC (hopefully). <<less
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SnowyRAWR rated it
April 18, 2019
Status: c23 part1
I love the story, MC, and plot so far. I can't wait until the I find out who Xia Rou ends up with.

I think before she reincarnated, it was hinted that Cao Yang like Xia Rou. Hopefully, Cao Yang and Xia Rou ends up together. I still can't believe there is like a 16-year age gap between them. I think it was mentioned how Cao Yang is almost 30-years-old while Xia Rou is 15-years-old.

Ironically, the father and eldest son have the same taste in women.

I can't wait for the next... more>> update!!!! <<less
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