If You Are a Dodder Flower


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In her previous life, she tried her best, she struggled. In the end, she has lost to her own mediocrity.

In this life, she resigned to her fate.

After her mother passed away, Xia Rou reincarnated as an orphan and she got taken in by her mother’s lover. Once again she stepped into Cao family, and once again she had to confront the people she loved and hated…

She dares not to expect anything, only except that she won’t suffer any more in this life…

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85 Reviews sorted by

New JessFS rated it
April 19, 2021
Status: c32 part3
Hm... This is one of those cases where the story and the writing is good and interesting, but the author's bias ruins it...

I really hope this was written very long ago, because I can't stand the idea of someone living in the current times writing things like this.

There's a lot of male chauvinism and even misogyny between the lines.

Also, I really hate the fact that the ML is the ML... ... more>>

They were building a nice sibling relationship, he even recognized her as a sister and even thought it would be nice if she was his biologic sister, and then, started feeling attracted to her and even acted on that attraction (though she didn't noticed). And I know it's gonna go way worse because I read some of the reviews. It's honestly such a shame... I love the other siblings and their relationship with her, and I really wish she stablished a real sibling relationship with the ML too. I wish she wasn't so self deprecating and internally misogynistic, and realised that there isn't just the 2 extremes of stubborn rebellion and subservience.


I love her reflections about her previous life. It's very realistic. But

I wish she would realise that her existence and personality are not necessarily wrong (yes, she did a lot of wrongs, and could have acted better, but it was all very consistent with her age and the things she went through). She was a child acting like a child, and people didn't want to accept nor understand that.


Anyways, I like that she was given the opportunity to right her wrongs and fix her relationships, but I don't like the romance and neither with who and how it progressed.

Another thing I can't stand is how abuse is dealt with in this novel.

That kid was beaten up and that was it. Everybody even pushed her to seek that little bastard's help if there was any problem in the school and nobody, absolutely NOBODY saw anything wrong with that.

It was all pushed under the rug with the explanation of "male instincts" and linked to the fact that that little bastard's family members are absolute tr*sh, just like him. I can't with this bullshit.

And let's not even talk about how the ML started to thirst over the girl he recognized as a sister with the same glorious excuse of "male instincts".


Anyways, sorry for the rant. I honestly thought I could power through this read, but I just can't.

It's an absolute shame. I really wish this was just a fluffy family novel, with a lot of character development, where all the male characters would slowly change their views and evolve, where the 4th brother would be able to

open himself to his family and stablish a healthy relationship with his lover (I really hope at least this happened. I will never know, though, cause I'm dropping this novel at ch32)

and the 3rd brother wold be able to enjoy his hobby without the fear of being beaten by his father and brothers...

I'm gonna give 2 stars because of the brothers and the MCs reflections after rebirth. The other stars were deducted because of male chauvinism, misogyny and the ML. <<less
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New briannacommoname
April 15, 2021
Status: c20
Guys read the novel until 20 or smth you will get the idea if its your cup of tea BUT

I hated the ML from the get go.

... more>>

Like we are 1ch in and I knew I am gonna hate this character and I was soooo shocked when he turned out to be the ML. I wasn't expecting that I love MLs like xie xing (from military lineage the classic's) when I suddenly see these pedo's who like obedient and sh*t FL's I was fking surprised


I just wanted to strangle him to death from the first time he landed his eyes on MC and what he thought about it. ISTG. <<less
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Chiaroscuro rated it
March 21, 2019
Status: c16 part2
3 stars for writing really

-2 stars for writing

-1 stars for characterization

... more>> -0.5 for BL lmao

And deducted 2 stars because of sexist chauvinistic stuffs

(Mods I accidentally clicked 1 stars orz help fix)

Also there's BL mentioned, not prominent enough just like something in your peripheral vision.

The characterization is good, the MC is just a girl trying to live her life the second times, avoiding mistakes etc. The writing is really good.


I was very uncomfortable when reading this. Not because the age gap (well 14 years is a bit iffy) but because the overall tone of this novel. The author keep saying stuffs like how the male is satisfied because she's quiet, obedient, elegant with her snow white neck etc. And it's because they're dominant and used to give orders to people. How obedient and quiet girls are more... Likeable. It's like how people of old preaching woman's virtue all over again. The MC is like... White lotus or something. She's pretty, quiet, and obedient. Did I say obedient?? I understand it's because her past (how she used to be contrary and headstrong etc creating problems for her family) but at this point I don't care enough because it's the same stuff author writes over and over again. If I have to be dramatic, it feels like author brainwash us that obedient, quiet and pretty girls are more likeable.=_= <<less
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j.sambac rated it
April 6, 2020
Status: Completed
If You Are a Dodder Flower should more properly be summarized as such:

In her previous life, Xia Rou actually had somewhat of a backbone, had a few opinions, and acted her age. In the end, after receiving a chance at reincarnation, she realizes that being Queen of Doormats is the way to go.

Despite reading a few reviews, I decided to give this novel a chance as I particularly enjoy reading reincarnation stories and this also seemed to have a darker romantic angle (relationship between brother/adoptive? Sister, 14 year age gap... more>> between the love interests). After starting the story, though, the story began to show its cracks.

In Xia Rou’s, the FL, previous life, she enters the Cao family and sincerely tries her best to avoid becoming the type of woman her mother had become. She rebels, she argues, and she treats those who understand her with respect. Because of her ‘rebellious’ nature, she makes a decent number of ‘enemies’, including those in her adoptive family. Also, because she is fairly young and innocent, she has a hard time understanding the people around her. All in all, she was acting as an age appropriate, strong-willed female lead. Though, those decisions caused her untimely death.

After her rebirth, she doesn’t choose to get revenge, instead she respects the opinions and decisions the Cao family had set forth for her initially. She removes all opinions and feelings that are contradictory to the Cao family (basically acts as an ‘obedient’ pet for them) and in the end, she lives a much smoother life.

What I liked

  • 5/5 for translation quality. Was very easy to read and the dialogue ran fairly smoothly
  • Hu Xuan was my favorite character. Despite having a rough introduction to the story, he was the most ‘human’ of characters. He was charming due to his flaws, and I wish the author had expanded on his story a little bit more.
  • The Cao siblings when they weren’t remarking on the FL’s obedience and quietness. The interactions Xia Rou had with the playful Cao An, the fluffy Cao Xing, the serious Cao Bin, and the leader Cao Yang were great. Honestly, this novel would’ve been much better if it were about the manly Cao family trying to cope and adopt with a female in the house.
What I didn’t like

  • The repetitive nature of the story. There are many, many instances of the FL being described as ‘quiet’ and ‘obedient’ almost making me wonder if Cao Xiong truly wanted to adopt the FL or whether he just wanted a doormat to fuel his and his son’s egos. Not to mention, there were many instances of the FL describing her past in a vague manner that I ended up skimming the past recollections. In the end, I never really understood how she died.
  • The doormat characterization of the FL. I understand the FL’s greatest worry is to never become the type of woman her mother became, but, if she wanted to, she could’ve achieved her happiness without becoming a ‘mistress’ or a ‘doormat.’
  • ML should’ve just stayed as a brother instead of a love interest. This man honestly wasn’t even the best brother in my opinion (for me, Cao An was certainly the best of the brothers), but he took care of her appropriately. After becoming the love interest, he was no better than his chauvinistic father. The last few chapters were just hard to stomach as he forced the romance onto the FL.
To put it simply, this was an easy read, but the characterization truly killed this book from becoming anything more. I think I would’ve loved it if the author wrote about her initial life. <<less
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BobChan rated it
September 16, 2019
Status: c20 part1
Just about 1/3 of the way and I've read the words 'quiet' and 'obedient', more than I can count with my two hands. And there's still many more to come. It's ridiculous how the author uses it and adds after, "If she could only stay like this forever" or "Their gaze turned gentler seeing her so obedient".

... more>>

A few examples:
Ch. 1 part 2
Her (Cheng Wan) neck was long and white as snow, it was a beautiful curve when she lowered her neck, at the same time it also symbolizes her humble obedience.

This action of hers has made Cao Xiong felt satisfying.

Ch. 2 part 1
She's (Cheng Wan is) not clever, sometimes blurry, the worse is she doesn't really pay attention, when anything happens, she doesn't have any idea on what to do. She only knows to be gentle and obedient.

Ch. 2 part 2
This woman is soft and obedient, she is just like a plant of dodder flower raised in Cao Xiong's room, can only be used for relaxing and decorate the scenery to be more pleasing. Even Cao Xiong himself thought the same looking at Cheng Wan.

Ch. 2 part 2
Obedient, that was his third thought. That attitude, within her softness there was a sense of obeisance that would satisfy a man.

Ch. 3 part 2
Before he met her, he already had some thoughts in mind. If she is obedient, then they will take her as their little sister, accommodate her to study on a university, and help her choose a great husband in the future, and we'll act as her maiden home. But, if she is a troublemaker, then he will let her live comfortably until she turns into an adult, and give her some money to do whatever she wants.

Ch. 3 part 2
Fortunately, Xia Rou looked like an obedient child. He hoped that she would behave like her mother and not make any troubles to the family.

Ch. 4 part 1
Seeing the child obediently listening to her advice, Lady Fang's expression wasn't as serious. Although she didn't like the child's status, she still pitied her for becoming an orphan; her eyes when she looked at her were friendlier now.

Ch. 4 part 2
Great, this girl is very quiet. If she could be this quiet forever, that would be best.

To give her food, clothes and shelter, and then let her study in a university. The way she looked now, she didn't seem to be troublesome.

Ch. 5 part 2
"She looks fine. She cried for a bit so she's probably still upset. Just give her some comfort. She even burnt some paper money for Aunt Cheng just now." He thought of it and added: "Quite sensible, and quiet."

Ch. 6 part 1
Cheng Wan's personality had always been as such. When someone exerted force, she would choose to simply be obedient. It was really luck that had brought her to Cao Xiong after she had been dumped by her former husband.

Ch. 6 part 2
In the eyes of an elder, an obedient child was usually lovely.


The bones of the plot can be considered to be good, but paired off with the 'silence and obedience is virtue of a girl'—it just becomes bland.

As the other reviews had stated, the author writes mildly in a sexist way. The female protagonist is one that does go with the flow, but they're rather just meek and a white lotus.

At this point of the story, I can't say that I'm too interested but it's not so bad yet—there's just annoyance at the number of sexist terms used and how it's just accepted because of what happened.

The translation quality is very good though. Would recommend if you really have time to read, are bored out of your mind, have patience, and can take what is being written with a grain of salt. <<less
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Moonson rated it
January 23, 2019
Status: c76
For those who love a deep romance story, which challenge the social classes, family-border and human complex feelings, then this is your cup of black tea in your mid twenties.

The story might be shorted to the rebirth of MC that trying to work her life to be the better one.

The special part is the MC is really conscious about her ownself. She comes from the different class with the ML and she tried hard to not be greedy with life as her own past life.

The story grows from MC childhood... more>> to eventually growing mature. The love story progressing fast at the end of the chapter. And voila, its a happy ending.

Very worth reading for those who wants to read a novel with more challenging romance plots. <<less
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Pink-kun-s rated it
September 11, 2019
Status: c1 part1
I have no problem with the translation, it is great. The story itself isn't, really. I can't understand those stellar reviews.

The writing style is okay I guess, but the content made me feel uncomfortable all over. The males in here are chauvinistic pigs, yes I am eyeing the ML and his father too. What's with this brainwashing that obedient, spineless, cute and just shut up and look pretty kind of girl are the best? Sorry, it just doesn't sit well with me.

The MC is repeatedly said to be s*upid and... more>> this is really annoying. She has no backbone and does every little thing the ML says. Though it is related to her previous life, but to this degree, it is insane! She's always praised by other characters for knowing her place and this has me wanting to smack my computer.

The ML is a pig and the MC is full of double standard concerning him. He's a player and apparently likes to be obeyed. And in all truth, the guy should have stayed that brother figure instead of pursuing her. I would have stomach it better then.

Reading this only served to boil me with anger and I wished that the MC would have left that house and started a whole brand new life somehow. <<less
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PinkCornstarch rated it
January 28, 2020
Status: c79
This story is about abuse. The story was actually great at the start, but it developed slowly into thriller lol. The MC was happy to have found a loving family and a boyfriend that is good and cute. Their relationship was so sweet. But the ML who is her brother 14 yrs older than her ruined her. The ML is so horny and lustful that does it with any woman that is his 'type'. And MC happens to be his 'type'. He is overbearing and controlling. He became obsessed and... more>> entitled to the MC because he 'raised' her. He was forceful and sexually harassing her. The ML broke the MC. The MC developed a mental illness because she cannot accept the reality that the 'brother' she respects did that to her. She started having issues differentiating between the ML as a man and as a brother. It was actually painful and disturbing to read. The father and other brothers reactions were also shallow. The story ends abruptly with no closure. I think she just accepted the ML because she does not want to lose her beloved and respected 'brother'. <<less
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blazikens rated it
January 22, 2020
Status: c4
God.... never thought I would come across such a hateful novel.

Putting aside the fact that the ML is f*cking pedophile for falling in love with a girl 14 yrs his junior, especially when he met her when she was just a kid, the fact that FL basically crushes her self-esteem and pride and ambition for life in her rebirth is so hateful... Just so she can be portrayed as some ideal gentle, virtuous woman wtf. And the fact that a lot of her behavior in the previous life was completely... more>> justified, I just couldn't continue reading this after that s*upid housekeeper told her to stop wearing black and the MC thought she was so ridiculous in her past life ???

Paired with the misogyny already described in other reviews, I would say this novel is for people who like doormat MCs and overbearing MLs who think women are his playthings and only respects them if they're from the same class as him. I mean... just look at how the MC's mother and ML's father are portrayed ?

P.S.: Rebirth is supposed to mean the MC becomes better and more mature, not a shadow of their former self. "Knowing her place", so what just because she wasn't born rich, she's not allowed to want more out of life?! It would've been a much better story if the previously ambitious yet blind MC paired her ambition with perspective. <<less
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EmpressRouge25 rated it
November 5, 2019
Status: Completed
Damn. I never saw the last few chapters coming. I guess it was because I am too used to easy going rebirth stories. I have actually been putting off this book for awhile as the summary scared me. Ex and issues? Mostly a bad sign. But this book was not about revenge. It was about the main character finding herself and her place. I was really glad about the growth she displayed. Although I was wanting a sickeningly fluffy story, I’m not mad at this.
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November 4, 2019
Status: --
I can't really evaluate this novel without my political bias so I refuse to rate it. As a Chinese person I actually totally understand why many people rated it lower because in our culture the quiet obedient submission women is technically and traditional an ideal wife/female partner. Luckily I was never raised in such an environment. Not only do I think it'd backwards, I hate this type of female lead anyways. The story was ok but I can't swallow the pu*sy pill this book is shoving down my throat
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Miss Ruby
Miss Ruby rated it
September 29, 2019
Status: Completed
I read the whole thing in one day. Some parts of it didn't sit well with me, like how she kept talking about how terrible she was in her previous timeline. In my opinion, she behaved just as she should have, considering her circumstances. Another part, is the misogynistic aspects sprinkled all over the book but I won't go into that.

The ending was frustrating to read through. I wish she had ripped out the ML's balls. What a piece of shit. Can't say anymore or it ventures into spoiler territory.

PS:... more>> The translation is outstanding. <<less
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Randomness rated it
June 28, 2019
Status: Completed
The characterizations are good, the story flow is smooth enought, and I honestly doesn't feel bored when I read this novel.

But.. How should I say this

... more>>

I liked the characterizations, but I hate the chauvinisme implied within.

MC's character : I liked her self-awareness, but I disliked the implication that in order to be 'better', the MC don't give herself a breathing room. No wonder near the end, the break down happened. And I hate the fact that MC is more doll than human at that point, so content to have her future decided by others. Self-knowledge doesn't mean crushing your dreams and become puppet.

When the MC and ML are merely 'siblings', I liked their relationship. I know they will end up together, but when it happens, I found myself wishing that MC stays with The Boyfriend.

MC and ML's relationship is seriously unbalanced and unhelathy. It's fine when they are 'siblings', but when ML forced the romance, I feel myself losing the fondness I have for the ML. I am left wanting to scream, "Scum!" towards the ML.


Nevertheless, I found myself remembering this book, long after I finished it, so in my mind it's worth the 4 stars. <<less
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Kei-Em03 rated it
August 3, 2019
Status: Completed
First off, its so easy to MTL. I love how she's being doted on. Love the brother's interaction with her.

... more>>

Though I am a bit put off with how fast they came together that I feel there should have been more chapters so it couldve been dealt with in a more slower pace than that (they jump off like ML:I love you, MC:Confuse and all, a day passed and they are already making out, then like a week/couple of weeks passed and BAM they did it)

So this could have more chapters in it.

The mental breakdown was wow. Its great that it was put in because boy thats a natural reaction.

But then I was hoping for more chapters. Its like the whole plot of thing were made at the least the very last 5 chapters.

Then the ending was so abrupt that I was hoping for atleast 1 extra which was sad cause theres none.

And also, even though ilove how shes being doted on. I cant help but feel that shes being tamed to be obedient. Its like they have a Sub-Dom relationship.


Nonetheless, the novel is a 3 for me, great peak (though gosh that's short), good story if you ignore all the male chauvinism lines. Translations a 4 great work and thanks, characters are likeable on their own, but together cause some characters to look abit like a scum.


though Id have to admit the brothers are so loose with their s*x life (or was that a natural thing for guys ?)

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ike_00000 rated it
July 1, 2019
Status: c35.2
So good!!!

Characters: MC is a lil listless and weak, but it's alright even for someone that hates weak female leads. Her self-awareness certainly helps, although it's kinda over-emphasized in the story, but it's true eg. In the situation with He Lili and Cao Yang. I actually really like the other characters and her relationships with them all, especially ML. I love the building of building familial ties with this group; I would have loved if there was more detail about how she bonded with each member, not just Cao Yang... more>> and Cao An (like we know why for the others, but it's not really as thoroughly explored, especially with the second brother). The side character Hu Xuan is also really good. I like that the author portrays both the beautiful and ugly side of her characters, acknowledging relationships and people is a flighty thing (Hu Xuan is the best example, and even MC's relationship with Lady Fang).

Yes there's definitely chauvinistic elements, but personally when I read this story I chalk it up to that particular family's interests as well as the reality of the upper-class social circles of this setting. In the beginning it is especially irksome, when the author describes the mother, but MC herself has tried NOT to be a dodder flower. There's two outlooks on the author's real opinion: (1) MC is trying not to be that white lotus stereotype, and author is making a small protest against the chauvinism or (2) since MC "fought" her last life and failed and is more obedient, similar to her mother, this life, author is condoning it. Either way, even as a girl growing up in a society that teaches all to be independent, I don't really find this affecting my enjoyment of the story (after the part of the mother).

Plot: Definitely a slice of life story, but it's basically as the synopsis says. A girl was taken in by a rich and powerful family; she caused a lot of trouble for these people that cared about her in her past life, so now all she wants to do is listen and not worry them. As she grows up with them, the lines between familial and romantic bonds slowly become blurry. I'm excited to read more as her past gets increasingly revealed!

It does feel like there's a little bit of inconsistency in her past life though since she was supposed to be super thorny yet somehow the brothers still liked her? Oh well

Writing: Pacing is good, great writing and translation! Very little translation error and some passages even show literacy beauty. The update speed is also quite good right now, thank you to the translators!!

Overall, this is definitely a recommended read for those that like this genre! <<less
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astroblues02 rated it
February 16, 2019
Status: --
I often wonder how it would be like to be reborn to the past. Unlike other reincarnation/transmigration/reborn novels, this one gives a vivid description of what it would be like if one is reborn. The MC's growth is slow but compared to how she was in her past life, she has accepted who she is and what she is in the family. The ML made himself as her guardian and from there his love blossoms for her without him knowing. The pivotal point is somewhere near the end of the... more>> story where the female finally integrates the past and the present to fully accept the reality which is... they both love each other.

BTW, translation quality is superb. I just MTLed it after reading chapter 8. The story is worthwhile, more slice of life mixed with fluff *whispers* 14 years age gap^^ <<less
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APrettyFeather rated it
January 18, 2021
Status: Completed
Just from the title itself, you can already guess the content of the book. Though, because of the first few chapters, you'll think in a different way.

In her last life, she suffered. And in the current one, she wanted to try and change her fate (of being a dodder flower).

And she almost succeeded, she almost did.

... more>> But Cao Yang happened.

If it weren't for that kiss. If it weren't for that night. If it weren't for that feelings. If it weren't.... if.....

just what if?

There's plenty of what ifs. And I wondered why the author even gave her the chance for redemption, to in turn, make her fall deeper into a bottomless pit?

But now I understand.

'If You Are A Dodder Flower'

She couldn't escape that fate. Not because she didn't try, but because she's not powerful enough.

For the final scene of her coming back home to reunite with her family... that scene gave me the intense feeling of being locked up in a cage.

It felt like it was the start of that. The start of her losing her freedom forever.

If there's a next life for the MC. I hope she won't encounter the Cao family ever again. For me, they were... the greatest villains. <<less
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Amatullah rated it
January 6, 2020
Status: c40
This is actually good, I managed to read it to the 40th chapter before I dropped it. Its to damn chauvanistic and rooted in patriachy. The only good thing about the MC is that shes obedient, quiet, obidient, s*upid, and obedient. Oh, and must not forget, her looks.

All that is actually tolerable, because different strokes for different folks. But what disgusts me is how all the male characters and the MC herself thinks having men having s*x with different women is OK, because they are men; they are just playing.

I... more>> understand having sex, but only if its rooted in equality. If both men and women are engaged in it equally, to gain the same thing from the transaction.

But the s*x here is treated like some sort of privelege that the higher class men have over the lower class women. The ML even said that he and his friends dont have s*x with women of the same social strata.

All in all, its good enough for a light read. But really really not recommended for people who are feminist inclined. <<less
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Jaklique rated it
March 2, 2020
Status: Completed
Having known both chinese and english, I think there's a slight misinterpretation in english translation, not because the translation is bad, but it's complicated to explain an culture idea in a single word. Yes, this novel does like to use "obedient" and "quiet" a lot, it can be quite confusing and baffling, and honestly, I can't think a better word to use.

There is quite a bit of jarring feelings between the "past" and "present" her and this novel does well in describing the timidity of the FL as well as... more>> the dominance of MLs. The writer talks about the gap of the super rich circles, of males and females in china which is plenty of interesting stuff. The characters are flawed, their thinking process are flawed and that's pretty normal in real life. Versus saying that females should be "quiet" and "obedient" as a lot of people seem to take away, I think the novel's take away is that a ripple can change the future. The FL and ML talks a lot about "quiet" and being "obedient" but basically it's FL trying to strike out a completely route as opposed to her previous one.

This novel is fairly gritty in the stuff it talks about underneath all the fluff, so if you're thinking of reading this, be prepared for that! And the ending is heaps of gritty too.

The good things:
1) The writer's writing is really good
2) The characters are flawed and realistic
3) Background, and world creation (or side character creation in this case) was done well

The bad things:
1) The ending felt rushed
2) I think the writer should have added a closure for what happened in her past
3) Or basically closures for several things. (I need to know what happens to WQ) <<less
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Fictionaddiction rated it
March 15, 2019
Status: c1 part1
This story is really good. I'm addicted and keep checking for new updates every 5 min. You will love it with your heart even if you may sometimes not agree in your mind.

The translation is excellent and it's updated regularly.

Summary which contains some spoilers:

... more>>

Xia Rou reincarnated in her 15 year old body after dying at 25. She wants to correct the mistakes she made by hurting the people she loved due to her inferiority complex.

her mother a weak lady has been abandoned by her father for that reason and thus after attempting suicide was rescued by Cao Xiong. Who wanted a mistress bec. He felt lonely after the death of his wife, and didn't wish to introduce a stepmother to his 4 sons (although they know about the mistress).

constantly hearing others calling her mother a mistress Xia Rou felt inferior and was determined to be better than her.

after her mother's death. Cao Xiong took her to raise. Due to the family being a military family and somewhat poor in communication+servant gossiping+her already low self esteem from being a mistress' daughter. She was willful and ignored the Cao family's well wishes bec. She viewed them as though they were looking down on her.

In this life she understands their good intentions and strives to not hurt their feelings and be a good girl.

why I said you would love this with your heart but maybe not mind?

Because I do believe her actions in the first life are justified. For example, her mother just died and she is wearing black. The house keeper tells her you are in somebody else's house and it brings an ominous feeling, so you should wear neutral colors. So she goes online and fills her whole wardrobe with black. And this causes the house keeper to treat her stiffly! I would do the same if I were her honestly. Anyway I won't add more coz I hate lengthy reviews.

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Vetivere rated it
August 11, 2020
Status: Completed
This is a story of rebirth, where the MC, who was a reckless and self-centered 25-year-old with an inferiority complex, dies and goes back to her 15-year-old self. At first, she behaves in a polite and obedient manner as a way to repent for her past life's errors, but that's her for the rest of the novel.

I wish I stopped reading at around 3/4 of the way through and left it there.


  • the translation is EXCELLENT
  • well written
  • the beginning stages, even up to the last quarter was intriguing
  • characters are flawed in a realistic way

  • MC doesn't demonstrate much growth or brains - mostly her behaviour is all based on guilt and penance
  • unrealistically dense
  • sexist author perpetuating sexist views for both sexes
    • female characters 'should' be how many times I saw this word in the first few chapters 'obedient' and 'quiet'
    • male characters are portrayed as chauvinistic, with only s*x on their minds
  • her bros knew

    she had a boyfriend (Weiqi)

  • no chemistry between her and ML
    • we clearly see ML's feelings blossoming for the MC, but we don't see vice versa. All we know is that he regrets his actions.
    • issues with ML
      • age gap
      • power imbalance (social status, power and

        his position as her guardian

  • ending is unsatisfying and disappointing
  • many loose ends left
    • Spoiler

      What about her 4th bro and his lover? Did her rebirth affect that?

    • Spoiler

      What happened to her fiance from her first life? And her birth father?

    • Spoiler

      What about that friend - Hu Xuan or something? Does he appear again?

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Chachatou rated it
January 26, 2020
Status: Completed
I was long perpexled in between rating this novel 3 or 5 stars but I still settled on the latter.

Despite the misogyny and chauvinistic views held by some male characters, the world building, the translation and the literary qualities of the novel uphold the whole. Readers shouldn’t stop reading this novel because of the disturbing chauvinistic parts.

Let me tell you why.

I don’t condone this kind of mindset but first it should be a general understanding from the title of the novel that misogyny will be the main theme of the... more>> novel. To be qualified as a dodder flower means to be someone who can’t survive or withers easily without a stronghold (often represented by men). In this life, FL tried with all her might to not be assimilated to a dodder flower to the point of belittling herself, trying to stick to her place as an orphan adopted by the Cao family, never going out of the reach of her original social standing thus not relying on eating their rice for her future living and truly be independent. But what she lacks is affection and to gain the Cao family members affection she subconsciously acted obedient and gentle (epitome qualities of a dodder flower) like her mother. From another perspective she just acted in a totally opposite way from her previous life.

When regarding things further it is easy to understand that Xia Rou’s previous life and her own mother’s relationship with men left a huge psychological shadow on FL resulting in her conflicting behavior.

All these elements can’t be understood until the end of the novel (that I’ve found disappointingly rushed because it was the only moment where you can really detect the character growth of FL).


FL started to develop mental issues because of ML ‘forceful’ claim on her because she never expected that he had feelings for her and she had trouble to distinguish the boundaries between their brother-sister relationship in her past life and their brother sister relationship turned lovers after rebirth. It was interesting because the psychologist diagnosed her with schizophrenia. The schizophrenia was affecting her memory and she may have builded other memories by herself (representing her past life). Maybe I MTLed wrong on this fact but still it casts a net of doubts on the existence of her rebirth. It may be the only novel where the fact of being reborn wasn’t justified as a fantasy element or a ‘dream’


Anywho ! It is a realistic novel portraying a lot of complex human relationships with deep psychological reflections behind.


Wether it is the brother with a fluff pets fetish or the gay brother who doesn’t have the guts to come out of the closet but still wants to selfishly monopolize his lover when he can’t give him what he needs (an honest relationship in the lights)


Every character is interesting in a way. <<less
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