Enough ranting, this novel is very short, as you can see. 18 chapters and 2 extras. The novel is written in the first person, from the MC's perspective. It is like a diary from the beginning of transmigration toward end of her family life. It talks of life as a rich lady, of a furen in a young household in which the husband is a naive and unambitious gongzi, and of how the MC manages what many ladies at the time can't, to have a calm and unchaotic harem while gaining the respect of MC's husband.

I really like the MC's characters. If you identify yourself as a bis*xual or at least be flexible with your imagination, then I think you will have no trouble understanding the MC's train of thoughts and actions. I think MC's is a realist. She knows what she has to do in order to survive the shackle of a male dominant society. Instead of trying to su*cide, or looking for ways to gain back male body, all MC does is adjust, be best at what she learned, and by not chasing after love, love has come circle around to chase after her.

If you think Su Jian is the best female MC in romance, then Nan Er is the best and most realistic gender bender MC.

1. Women are best as decoration.
2. Women are extremely sentimental and impossible to understand, the biggest example MC thinks about through the novel repeatedly is a relative of his crying over fallen flowers.
3. It's best to have sons because it's impossible to bring up daughters that have any good sense. Of course, the story rewards MC by giving him three extremely talented sons and no daughters.
4. This is more the own narrative's fault rather than MC, since MC doesn't choose this, but in the story, good behavior is rewarded by sons, women who don't know their place get daughters.
5. Miscarriages are caused by pregnant women having a bad temper, which the story's own narrative support.
6. Men feeling love is abnormal, women fall in love, men only want to collect s*x partners. In fact, MC ridicules his husband in his heart for falling in love with MC.
7. MC likes a side concubine because she's 'authentic' despite insisting that being attacked to a man makes you suffer. The moment that concubine understands the situation and starts behaving more like MC, the MC despises her, so he's also hypocritical on top. Of course, the story proves MC right because that concubine turns out to have actually gone crazy.

This is not a romance novel. MC never, at any point of the novel, loves his husband, nor did he love his wife before transmigrating. He only loves his children. His husband's love for MC is completely onesided. MC adapts well to the whole "it's better to not love your husband" setting because he doesn't love anyone. MC doesn't "triumph against the odds" with his modern mentality, there are never any odds against him. MC:

1. Gets transmigrated to a woman, but isn't even remotely troubled by it nor even about having to sleep with men because he's bis**ual
2. Transmigrates young, so no need to deal with any of the body's past mistakes
3. Is born in a wealthy family
4. Extremely good looking
5. Healthy body, gives birth to three kids without having a single issue
6. Gets married to a handsome, wealthy man with concubines but that, at this point, no longer cares about them
7. Gives birth to one son after the other
8. Since the husband isn't particularly ambitious, they never step into any muddy political waters nor is the family under any risk
9. Never has to deal with any disadvantageous position: gets the first di son of the family, first male grandchild, literally no one else has sons in that family except her older sister in law and it takes her like ten years, all his kids are geniuses in different fields, husband is interested in multiple women at the start but never brings any of them home against MC's will, and ends up completely in love with MC and touching no other women.

The MC is a greater chauvinist than her husband (for example husband does believe that 1 men can be in love 2 women (particularly his wife, who he considers a woman) can be sensible and intelligent 3 feels pity for women in disadvantageous situations (unless MC who always think the woman is to blame every time, and of course the story proves him right). And the story rewards MC with his perfect lifestyle, while trapping his husband in a loveless marriage.

The MC doesn't adapt to a sexist society, MC was sexist before he even transmigrated, and simply remains so.

He has a very clear advantage when he transmigates: He has the experiences of an already fullfilling lifetime under his belt. He doesn't feel anything about sharing his partner with a harem because he expected it to happen, he knows his husband will seek other women and even wholeheartdly accepts it because he knows it's the customs he must abide by now in this new life, so he doesn't even fall in love with that guy. He also knows he won't be able to pursue a different style of life simply because he's a woman, and during that moment of History women simply weren't allowed to do anything that wasn't related to children and the house, nor he cares about any of it. Why should him? He already had found love and success in his last life, and for that reason he can distance himself and think condescenly about others around him and hoo boy, he is pretty condescing. I don't think it was the intention of the author, but that's how the MC comes off to me.

So, like earlgreyt said, it's easier for him to not be bothered about what social norms related to his new life mean. He knows he doesn't amount to just that, because he just had a very good life in that sense, which is a very different experience other women, and specifically women who are part of a harem, have. I won't delve too deep into it because the mentioned user already wrote about it.

Even so, I just can't help but think, isn't this MC a bit too distanced and wishy washy about his own situation? He had a good life, and then suddenly everything was taken from him. Suddenly, he is a woman in setting that is going to oppress him for a lifetime, he knows this too well and even so, he doesn't care. He doesn't feel strongly about almost nothing in his life and that makes me wonder how the hell he even managed to fall in love with someone and muster enough willpower to be succesful in his work on his last life, because he has absolutely no ambition or drive, like at all. That, honestly, makes a very boring protagonist for me.

At most, he loves his children, that I could tell, at least.

Our apathetic MC feels displaced and distanced from his life since the beginning, when he is a 3 years old little girl, to the end of the story, when he's already an adult woman with three children.

Nothing, absolutely nothing in this new life of his is enough to change how he thinks, as if all of this is just a very long game of acting a role. While his new life isn't particularly dramatic, it also shouldn't have been such a unremarkale experience that he just... passed through it, right? At most, there is one single event that causes him to act more strongly, but that's it.

If you were expecting some character growth, don't look for it in here.

Maybe it is so because he, indeed, had a lucky life, or as lucky as a woman's life in those times could be.

He transmigated in a wealthy family and was well taken of. He was wed as The Wife (and not a concubine) to another wealthy family, and to a, actually, pretty decent man and partner, considering the time period (more about this coming next). He had a shitton of sons, and so was automatically favored on top of already being The Madam, even if his husband hadn't helplessly fallen in love with him. He had what every woman in that time period dreamt of.

A lot of people here are saying he had a good life because he was smart, but I seriously disagree. He barely schemed, like at all. (Try to use celery as a contraceptive, I dare you. People in ancient times might have, indeed, used it, but its effectiveness isn't even half of what this story claims it to be) The story is pretty bad about showing us him scheming to protect himself and his children, and ya know what? That's completely okay, that's not what this story is about. Just don't go saying he had a good life purely because of smarts, when most of it was due to pure, dumb luck.

The most scheming with actual results he does is getting rid of one of the concubines when he thinks she's going to harm him or his children. That's it. Anything else he does is acting polite to the people around him and perfectly fullfilling his duties as a wife and mother while being wishy washy about everything else.

All in all, this MC is a perfect, dry robot without ambition or drive, and he doesn't change for the duration of the plot one single bit. He's honestly a boring and bland character to follow and, in my opinion, that's the biggest sin.

The funny thing? He was a man in his past, never able to actually live his second life and never understood the sufferings of women in those times even while living in the skin of one, he himself, somehow becomes the perfect wife. Lmao the irony.

The ML is a little bit more interesting. He starts as rightneous type of sorts, feels he needs to save every girl he comes across, so to say, and is quite a bit naive. ML is also a romantic person, in particular after he falls in love.

He is the product of his time and culture, so of course he thinks it's okay to build a harem and sleep with different women, but he treats the MC well... even better than most of his peers would treat their wives, even. As I said before, he doesn't beat the MC, he hears all of MC's opinions, gives him as much freedom as a woman could have during that period, doesn't show jealously wantonly and doesn't seem to make unreasonable requests of the MC. That treatment just gets even better as he starts to legit fall in love with the MC. You could say, he considers the MC as his equal in that sense, and that's really a rare thing for ancient China relationships, and unfortunately even today you'd have a hard time finding someone like that.

For his time, he is pretty open minded.

You still won't love him at the start, because he does mistakes and his naive personality causes some trouble, in particular when compared to our perfect MC. The way this story is written also doesn't help his case, honestly. We can only see what MC thinks of him because of the first person PoV and he barely gets any dialogue.

He's still the best character in this novel, in my opinion, simply because he grows quite a bit from his naivete and matures, even though the MC always thinks of him so condescenly (which affects our opinion of him because of unreliable narrator) he still manages to glow through it.

Still, because of the way this story is written, we still don't get to get a good feel for his character, which is a pity. Outside one small extra, he simply doesn't a lot of moments to show off his personality to us without having to go through MC's lens.

I feel bad for the life he left behind. Especially the silly son who was only a few years old.

I like that he transmigrated to a 3yr old girl instead of a grown up. It is indeed a good age to be transmigrated into. Though it makes you wonder what happened to the little girl.

It was good that from the beginning, it was instantly mentioned that he was bis**ual. Because if he was straight and was okay with marrying a man, I wouldnt believe that.

It was good that from the get-go, his character was set up as a simplistic man who just wanted a break from working and trying to make ends meet since he came from a middle class family and didnt really get to have a rich and carefree life. He was not an ambitious man who would like to strive to be known in the ancient world. He was like a salted fish lol??

I didnt like ML but I dont hate him. If he still pursued that brothel woman and took her home, I would definitely hate him, but he didnt get to do that. I get the character of the ML being a carefree man and all that, and the understanding shown by the MC, since if he was a man, he'd be like him. It was mentioned from the start that he was like him, carefree with s*x and all as well, before he was married.

I love how he was sooo hands on with their son. Especially the paintings since there was no other way to have a picture. How he sees thing as they are even be rational at all times. I like the rationality very much, it kept things from being annoying.

I love that MC and MIL get along and that MC is treated well from beginning to end.

He (MC) mostly just tolerated him (ML) like a sugar daddy/baby relationship.

And it made sense, as the MC was much older than the ML when he transmigrated and mostly saw the ML as a wet-behind-the-ears, new adult/boy toy and not as an equal.

Rambling words with a spoiler:

FL was clearheaded through all her time in second life, not falling in love with the ML, which is something to admire to the author that he wrote it this way, FL living a good life, not in deep love. Even if he didn't take another concubine for seven years because he fell in love with FL's good character* that was shown through her actions. The author didn't make the FL be head over heels in love with the ML because of how good is ML to her from his actions like we usually meet, for FL it was an understanding relationship between her and ML.

Usually, in Ancient China novels there is handsome ML and mary sue FL and some concubine that appears from ML's childhood or concubines that ML took a liking to them, then FL charms ML and he falls in love, the concubine's plot against FL but ML comes as a prince and saves FL, the concubines are banished or executed*ouch. In this novel, it existed rationality and showed ancient china's morals which even though I don't like most of them, but the fact that FL went till the end in her second life making it a good life for me it was a nice adventure road plus with her children too.

MC reminds me of Qu Qing Ju from "To Be a Virtous Wife". Both are very logical person who don't easily give their heart to others, especially men in an ancient times who mostly couldn't love one person in his lifetime.

But it's reasonable for MC to be a logical woman because he was once a man from a modern era. He used to be a player before settling down with his wife so he understand the most what the men are thinking. Initially, he's a bis*xual so he could love both men or women without a hitch. But he still chooses to treat ML as a lover or companion instead and doesn't dare to give him his heart till the end.

Maybe because of that, MC could be a perfect wife and loved dearly by his husband and also his in laws. He could manage the household well and he chooses to educate his children by himself because he couldn't do it in his pervious life due to his busy life.

And when there is no love, there would be no jealousy. That's why he could be so generous towards his husband's concubines. I think if he loves ML, things will be different and he couldn't avoid heartache along the way. So it's a good thing that he doesn't love ML.

But still I think MC is too logical. He calmly accept that he transmigrated to ancient era and he only feel a bit melancholic when he remembered his wife and son. Then he easily moved on and lived her new life well. It makes senses if he doesn't really love his wife that much but he must be love his son dearly. So seeing how calm MC was, I feel it's a bit unrealistic.

And don't forget the reason of his transmigration. I think it's ridiculous and make me feel pity for MC.

Many dislikes ML because he often has a change of heart and sometimes neglects MC especially when he is pregnant with his son. But I feel he's more realistic than some omnipotent male lead who doesn't have any flaw.

He's not some prince who will fight for the throne someday. He's noble but because he's a second son, he won't inherit his family's household in the future so he must pave his own way. I love that he has many flaws but he learns from his mistake and becomes more mature.

But I still dislike one point about him. I don't like how he's so partial towards his other concubines and sparks their jealousy towards MC. Since he took them as his concubine, he obliged to treat them fairly, not just take care of their outward necessities but also take care of their hearts. I know this is normal in ancient times but as a woman, I still don't like it.

Because the MC was once a man, he understands why men of ancient China would play around and have multiple beauties serving him and so on. With this understanding, the MC's attitude is completely indifferent to his husband's concubines and strictly follows the feudal rules/customs that is expected of him. The MC truly displays the meaning of a virtuous wife. While the ML does not deserve the MC at all. Not only does the ML find other concubines/lovers to be infatuated with, but the ML also doesn't care for the MC during his (now her) multiple pregnancies. The ML was literally away doing other stuff when the MC was pregnant twice!

At one point, when the ML stopped taking in concubines and is treating the MC better, he had the audacity to say that he will protect the MC and their sons from the concubine's evil scheming. The ML said this even though he allowed the evil concubine to remain living in the same family as them! WO PEI! (I really want to spit at the ML for his uselessness.) The ML is not only idealistic, he is incompetent and unqualified as a husband and father.