The ML r*pes the MC but MC blames himself? I understand that sometimes people who care too much about a person gets deceived/betrayed may feel violent; there is no explanation however, that excuses that behavior. I understand that the ML feels regretful, but still. It doesn't make sense how despite being cruelly treated by both the parents and ML, he has PTSD from the parents but not ML? Yes, ab*se can give you PTSD, but so can r*pe! He also has PTSD from the drug ab*se he suffered from the kidnappers and also from being stranded in the mountains but suddenly trauma doesn't apply to the actions of the ML?

I am still figuring out what illness causes MC to vomit/spew blood from certain orifices as well as amnesia/dementia but I suspect he has both? From what I've read, he has short term memory and frequently drinks alcohol while sometimes smoking.

I am not sure about the brother (sister) and their girlfriend, but I surely don't like them. If possible, I don't want them to have an appearance later on in the story. They did not do something extreme but the fact that they wrote the novel thinking of him in a degrading manner irritates me. What if my sister wrote a story where I was a lovesick and jealous man whose only purpose was to kneel for another and then killing me off despite protecting her from ab*se and took on many hits for her? Dare I say I would hate that person with my whole being. What do you mean I wanted to save you despite there being a huge chance of me dead and wanting to return to protect you only for you to betray me, write me off as some dog, and then call me crazy? Wow. What kind of person would do that??

• MC gets kidnapped but there’s nothing said afterwards about the kidnappers and why they did that to him?!

• One of the MC’s friend and his sibling know something but never helped him but WHY?!

I can't help but to wonder whether the MC realy came from another world or if it has something to do with his mentality

I really love how the MC is really determined to go home (but is literally struggling due to his unwilling growing affections with the ML) and the fact that the author incorporated his memories from his past life is such nice touch. Specially tons of isekai tend to literally forget or even don't care anymore for the MCs past/real life

First comment here I hope it works well. It's kind of a brief summary of the released chapters and a note to myself to NOT pick this back up. If you want to read it I hope you enjoy. Also EN in not my first language pls bear with me.

At first the MC is pleasant to read ab, he is trying to cope with the transmigration, illness and missing memories in his own way. It's rare for a transmigration novel to include the internal conflict of the MC so it was a good start. The world which normally I would call childishly flat and unreal was working here too, bc it was a world from the novel - so it strangely clicked together - it made it easier to understand MC feeling out of place there.

What ruined it all was the ML. Their relationship was toxic and too unpleasant to read ab. At the same time it was MC's plan to finish this "novel" and go back home. He tried unrealistically hard for something that was in no way confirmed. It was 58 chapters of almost constant emotional ab*se, it was too much for me. ML became the main reason MC was miserable and I feel like author sometimes forgets about MC's illness and only uses it when it's convenient for the plot.