Ok so in the third part the main couple are finally a couple but have to seperate and do long distance. But the ML has a dangerous job as a reporter and gets captured by enemy soldiers and is severely injured and placed in captivity for years. MC waits and is worried about him. When he manages to get out hes so severely injured he might die (smth like that I hate this part so much I've erased it from my brain). So he calls MC and says the most OOC thing I can imagine him saying "I've moved on and married someone here please forget me." Basically that yeah. So after that for years they never see each other again and she pines after him with her broken heart. And everything after that sits wrong with me. Now ordinarily I try to give the benefit of the doubt to the one that orchestrates separations because I want to relate to their reasoning. In fact I just wrote a review for a novel with a similar case in which I completely sympathized and didnt blame that person at all. But here, the author really messed it up, for multiple reasons. Lemme go into them;

1. When ML left captivity, I really dont think the reason he gave for her to give up shouldve been him marrying someone else. Why? Because that really opened up the age gap in their relationship and made me look at it differently. Until that point I never cared she was younger. But considering he did everything to her but take her v*rginity, made her dependent on him, and essentially stole the girls youth, it really bugged me that he broke her heart with such a half assed reason. And he knew her, he knew how hard it would be for her to move on. And how much she would look inward onto herself to find the issue. She wouldn't be finding issue with him, shes too selfless, she would find issue with herself. She'd think she was the problem. And she'd never blame him. He should've had someone else call her and say he was dead. He should've said he lost feelings for her. He shouldve said he couldn't keep up with long distance anymore. Anything but that reasoning tbh because it was the worse reason he could give to a young girl that gave up her youth for him. This issue was pointed out a lot by other characters as well but I still don't think it was stressed upon enough. She gave her youth for him. And he really messed her up.

2. The reunion was one of the worst I've seen. Honestly. I was expecting more because they have so much history and baggage right? But the ML basically pretends he didnt break her heart and lie about getting married. It takes him so long to explain that he wasnt actually married and even longer to explain why he lied. This was handled so poorly I was put off by all interactions after the reunion because nothing is romantic about ML trying to meet with her while she still believes hes married. Nothing. I couldn't feel happy about the reunion because the MC was too in the dark about so many things. The readers were in the dark about things even till the last chapter, things I personally feel should have been explained to us as soon as he came back. That was one mystery I feel like should not have been stretched out like it was. How can we find time to forgive him if we dont know the circumstances regarding him ditching her? Questions like "why didnt he contact her while he was getting treatment? What about when he finished treatment? So if they never coincidentally met, was he never going to see her again her "own sake?"" You see the issue? I'm the type that cant enjoy the moment when I feel like something isn't settled.

3. There was basically no groveling. I feel like the ML didnt explain or apologize enough for what happened, considering it was his fault and he chose the worst way to hurt her. The worst lie. The MC, sweet girl she is, forgave him basically instantly and I dont think she was a doormat for that more she was so desperate she would take anything and I found that really sad. ML at one point thinks he could only be with MC because only she could be the person to forgive him effortlessly like that and it's true. I didnt want more drama or for them to fight but I do wish it took longer and for him to explain more before they got right back to being together. I felt like that discredited all her pain throughout the years she waited for him. That made me upset.

4. The wife thing never got explained to the rest of the characters. When ML came back he went on lying saying he got divorced. So everyone thinks, and still thinks until even the end of the book, that ML left her for another woman and that MC is his second love/partner. That made me so mad you guys dont understand. I just didnt understand why this was never explained this upset me so much. It was like another short end of the stick MC got and I hated that.

5. MC trauma over being left behind was never addressed like I wanted to. In general I felt her pain wasnt empathized enough. Because ML came back with a severely injured body that needed multiple surgeries, the focus turns to him and we the readers as well as other characters are kind of forced to forgive him early because, well, his body isnt good. I get that emotional debts need to be ignored in the face of serious issues like health but I feel like those issues took the focus off addressing MCs own pain. She never got to really feel upset or be angry, because he came back so sick. And that upset me too. I was just upset ok.

The story is about the growing of a little girl and her love development for the male lead. This girl is kinda pitiful because since small age she had to learn how to take care of herself. She's always alone at home, have to cook her own food and take care of herself when she's sick. Her parents kinda threw the responsibility to raise her to her grandparents and the grandparents weren't much present too. Since her grandfather is a militar, they live in a military complex.

One day when she was sick, she met the male lead. She was alone at home (and I don't remember why, the male lead knocked at her door. I think he knocked at the wrong door, because he wanted to visit his uncle's house?) Anyway for some reason, he took pity for the child female lead and took care of her. He felt even more sorry for the female lead after he learned about her life story from his auntie. This auntie knew the female lead since her daughter is best friend with female lead.

At first the male lead, was very clumsy, he didn't know how to take care of children (he would give an ice cream to cheer her up, while she was running a fever and a sore throat) and didn't even have much patience, sometimes he would get annoyed, but I don't know why, he never stopped to help her. In the end, the female lead ended up developing feelings for him. And basically the story is about all the development of first having an adult figure which she could trust, to turning it in your first love. The male lead helped her several ways, with small and big things that I'm not going to pinpoint here.

Detail, the male lead is way older than the female lead, probably ten years or more. And when they first met, she was maybe eight years old? Of course he wasn't a pe*ophile but that still can be uncomfortable for some. But he only developed feelings for her when she was way older, maybe in the third year of high school or beginning of college? (I don't remember the exactly time) He also tried to explain that he would wait for her to get older and if she still had feelings for him, all she needed was to look for him.

Also, the male lead was a kind of Mary Sue. Mary Sue is a character that is practically perfect. The male lead is super smart, handsome and sexy (he's always smoking. I hate the smell of cigarettes and I don't like this unhealthy habit, but come on, imagining the aloof male lead smoking, that's sexy, right?). He had humble origins, but ended up studying in the best college and post graduation in a big US college, he was perfect in playing the piano. Everyone wanted to be friends or admired him, he had deep philosophical thoughts and conversations and tried to make a difference in the world by becoming a war correspondent. He traveled the world to witness the worst of humans, with wars and calamities. He was an intelectual and philosophical type. Which for me it was kinda weird why he would fall in love for someone younger that couldn't sustain a deep and philosophical conversation with him? Maybe he liked her innocence? I even remember one part of the story, which the male lead was covering a catastrophe (the 9/11 attacks?) and when they talked through a phone call, the female lead was opening up about some s*upid and teenagers problems she was going through and he was helping her giving some incentives. For God's sake, the guy was witnessing wars and death everywhere, but somehow he would help her with her daily problems? Why he would develop romantic feelings and have someone like that as a partner? I'm also a deep and philosophical thinker, not that I'm smart, but I like to think sometimes about the meaning of life and sometimes suffer with all the pain in the world, so it would be super hard to not have a partner to share that kind of thoughts, or that had only childish problems. Of course we all can have childish problems in our lives, but it was super cringe for me to discuss her childish problems while he was covering the horrors of the 9/11 attacks.

Also, another thing that annoyed me, is the lack of dreams or independent thoughts of female lead. It seemed that everything revolved around the male lead. Even her college choice, was made because of him. She also decided to pick the course of journalism. In my opinion, again, she could barely sustain a deep and philosophical talk with him and during the story she didn't become a fantastic journalist like the male lead, and in the end, even gave up of a promotion, international correspondent, to stay with male lead. Omg, come on, the male lead never gave up of his career to stay with female lead, even knowing how much she suffered because of the long distances and all the dangers he had to face. I was wishing that she could become super successful too, even becoming a war correspondent too like him, so she could pay back all the suffering, since in that way, he was the one that would worry about her. But nope, her career was so so, and she gave up of promotions to stay with him (since he retired early, due to the risks of his profession and for reasons that I'm going to explain in the end of this long review.)

Anyway, for me their love was forced. When he started working, they barely saw each other, he was always away, covering wars, etc. The times they met could be counted in one hand. They had some interactions through phone calls or emails. And that's it. How can you develop deep feelings if you barely meet or interact with the person? I think the deepest interaction they had was when she got SARS, during the SARS epidemic that really happened in China. Anyway, he took care of her and by doing that, he risked his life, and even kissed her to prove that he would stay by her side. Maybe that's when the deep feelings started? I don't know, but until now, all that is acceptable, it's cute and romantic (despite being a little forced, but hey, I'm always there for the romance.) All the times he helped her, since her childhood, being there in all her moments of crisis, even risking his life to take care of her during an epidemic. So for now, taking out the fact that I'm picky and keep pinpointing the stuff I didn't like, the story is good so far and the romance is ok.

I'm going to mention a little about this character. I don't know if he could be described as second male lead. He's a friend of male lead and have the same age. He also started interacting with female lead since she was a child, because several times the male lead met with female lead, this friend was there too. When the female lead was in college, and the male lead was in one of his travels, she have a date with this supposedly second male lead, but they never developed anything, and he didn't appears very much in the novel. Maybe this guy had a flinch and attraction for her but it looked like it was nothing too deep? I'm just commenting here in case you have Second Male Syndrome like me. But in this case, I don't think that this supposedly second male lead suffers a lot. But anyway, I liked him, because he punched the male lead really hard, after the male lead hurt the female lead really bad. Despite the two of them being friends, the second male lead still took the side of female lead, because he knew how hurt she was.

So, the male lead as a war correspondent, decided to ghost the female lead. She would sent him emails and he would not answer. Until the female lead discover that the male lead was going to marry someone else and he would not come back to China. She got devastated, the person she worshiped and loved her whole life, stopped talking with her and got married, while they were in a long distance relationship. Anyway, long story short, the truth is that male lead, was one of the reporters that got kidnapped during one of those wars he was covering. He became captive for a long time, and when he got rescued, he had to go through a long process of recovery of his emotional and physical damages. His body was all f*cked up, he couldn't have children anymore due to the radiation exposure that he suffered when the war covering times, he didn't sleep well because of his PTSD. And probably wouldn't live long, since his health was in precarious condition, with the need of constantly medical check ups. While he was going through all that, female lead finally was with her life in the right track, she was an intern in an journalistic company. She was moving on with her life, but of course, she ended up bumping into male lead. He was in her company making an interview to become the supervisor of the journalists or something like that, and they ended up meeting. Of course, she ran away and was trying to ignore him.

That's the part of the story that bothered me. The male lead decided that he wouldn't share the truth to female lead and decided to hurt her, so she could move on with her life. It wasn't nobody faults that they ended up bumping on each other. But somehow the male lead decided to pursue the female lead again. Omg, why? She was starting to move on with her life. She was ok. His health was a mess, he didn't know how long he would live, he couldn't have children. So why he decided now to go after her? Why he didn't let her live her life, specially now that she was starting to forget him? Nope, he decided to keep going after her, first to ask for forgiveness but also to start things over. He kept running after her and she kept running away. Until she discovered the truth of all his suffering, forgives him and they ended up together.

For some this might be real love. But for me, it was a selfish love. Why he decided to be magnanimous and let her go and then after he became a damaged good, he decided to go after her again? If I suspected that I wouldn't live long and couldn't have kids I don't know if I would go after my loved one, specially after hurting her and when she was forgetting about me. And because of my poor health, she decided to give up of promotions in her career to take care of me. Omg, how could I ask so many sacrifices from the person I love, again, specially when her feelings for me was fading?

Another bothersome thing, is that in the novel, the male lead never confirmed or denied that he married someone else when he was recovering. So in the end, we really don't know if he cheated on her. All that was said in the novel is that he got divorced, not going further in explaining if that was fake or reality.

I get where other reviewers are coming from saying that this book 3 is unnecessary in the story and definitely want to read longer on the sweet moments Ji Chengyang and Ji Yi had before their separation, but I feel like going to Iraq is a very needed stage in their life and an important matter that they had not fully addressed until it was too late.

Like if it wasn't Iraq, it's going to be somewhere else, the issue of him being a war correspondent would still remain the same.

I felt like the story WAS definitely preparing you before or at least heading to that direction with how naive and innocent Ji Yi is with JCY's line of work and her approach that she could still be immersed in having good contact with him when he's literally going straight to warzone.

Reading book 3 awfully reminded me about the kdrama Twenty Twenty One where also like this set up, during 9/11, the couple broke up bec they grew apart. The guy was immersed in his career abroad and the horrors he witnessed during that time, whereas the FL was still starting her young adult journey and could not relate or truly empathize and therefore could not be there for the other.

But Ji Chengyang's circumstances was different and Ji Yi's journey had been more deep and complex than just breaking up with your first love. For Ji Yi, JCY was her pillar, guardian and role model first before they got into a romantic relationship. The idea wasn't even an option for her in the first place (thus definitely not expecting them to end up together). He was very important in shaping Ji Yi's direction in life had it not been for him, she wouldn't be where she is now. At this stage, the relationship was in no form equal. So she wouldn't think wrongly about the decisions of JCY in staying as a war correspondent, at that time was merely admiring him not fully understanding the implications of it as a girlfriend.

So them breaking up while he's in Iraq has been an expected outcome bec no young girl should be string up on a man who's almost a decade older than her, who had not also clearly explained the implications of him going to the battlefield, when he gets out of there dead or alive.

I questioned JCY's actions of not having a proper goodbye to Ji Yi here bec although the age gap is there, he is capable of having an equal conversation with Ji Yi but he just went on and nonchalantly pursued Iraq despite his family, friends, and colleagues for a few chapters cautioning him not to.

But after the ending, I understood.

After the first life changing event and overcoming a brain tumor, Ji Chengyang still is a young man, and like the vigor of youth, there is fearlessness as well as recklessness in pursuing our ideals and morals. He wants to do everything he sets his mind to while he still can and while there is still time for him. Even if it's risking his life a few more times for his worldview. Fighting in the frontlines of war. Love isn't everything in his life.

It's so easy to disregard this aspect of Ji Chengyang and just want him to be a perfect loving male lead in a novel, but as Ji Chengyang perfectly puts it, after all that he experienced, he was actually just an ordinary man.

This is what makes Ji Chengyang a very real character because he is afterall flawed and not the idolized and glorified man people always want him to be.

Even when he returned after four years she wasn't really mad, mostly hurt. Not once did they argue or have a different opinion about anything.

The person I felt the most toward wasn't the main characters but, rather towards a side character, the class prefect Yu Qing who even in the end, still thought of Nuannuan. It really made me cry.