This novel annoyed me more than anything has in a long time. Annoyed me so much I had to write this review at 3 AM. Why?

1. MC irritates me. Author is too talented, they write his insecurity and anxiety so well that it gives ME stress. So, so, so annoyed by his inability to communicate properly. It's not that I don't like shy or tsundere characters, it's just how he's just led around by the ML all the time. Fair enough, he does acknowledge this and sets boundaries with others (eg. Senior) in his own way, but I just hate how his life revolves around ML and what ML thinks instead of the fact he just LOST THREE YEARS OF HIS LIFE AND IS BASICALLY A CONFUSED, VULNERABLE PATIENT. I know it's focused on their romance, but it's just hard to watch a very anxious, introvert only be reliant on some dickhead (see 2.) when he speaks about how he really wanted to make friends. They couldn't have fleshed out the friendship between him and Yang Yue (the one friend that's relevant) just a LITTLE BIT more?

2. If my annoyance at the MC is like seeing your friend getting back together w the worst guy ever because 'he's changed' for the 100th time, then my HATRED for the ML knows no bounds. If ML was someone who was also in love with the MC and didn't know how to express it openly but tries to learn to communicate and care about each other while helping MC break past his self-doubts, then I would love this couple. I would say wow, what a wholesome cute romance! Instead, here I am, praying I never fall for a guy like the ML.

At first I gave him the benefit of the doubt because we were seeing him from MC's POV, but the more I read the more I realised the guy really is just a manipulative, emotionless SOB. I just don't believe he really loved the MC when he knew MC loved him, but basically pushed and pulled him constantly. Even while amnesiac, the MC couldn't help feeling 'deep sadness' because of him. Despite knowing he's insecure, ML does nothing to dispel his doubts when he lost his memory. A lot of the time, it feels like he treats MC like an experiment. He knows ignoring his questions or answering vaguely will mess with his head, but he does it anyway. You can argue that ML is not good with social cues but HE IS! He admits he knew MC annoyed him to catch his attention, knew that he liked him all along.

Honestly, my breaking point was when they went on the aquarium date then ML ruined MC's mood by talking about how the dolphins at the show were probably depressed and harmed themselves. And why did he say this? TO GET MC'S REACTION!!! Argh, I hate this guy so much. It's the fact that he's so subtly toxic, as in he does nice things for the MC but isn't that invested during most of their relationship.