Personally, I didn't find either of them to be likable even when I pitied Aelock's misery at times and knew where Klopp was coming from. Rayfiel was the most pitiful of them all. Well, Klopp and Aelock are a match for each other since they both have their fair share of tr*shy deeds. I wouldn't say one's better than the other. However, after the regression, I would say that Aelock did deserve better than whatever he was subjected to...

So when you accompany him in his suffering in the 1st volume, you always have these emotional swings in your heart. His suffering is horrible. What he did is horrible. He deserves it. No one deserves it. Clove Bendike (I'm sorry, I can't call him Kloppe, it abuses my eyes) has the right for revenge. What he does is not revenge, it's monstrosity. It swings like this until the only answer is left in your heart: Aylock paid for what he did. Will Clove pay for what he did? Is it possible to pay for it?

I have to admit I fell for Aylock right from the first chapter. Don't ask, it was love from the first sight and I was on his side forever since then, so reading about his suffering was particularly agonizing. As for Clove... a part of me hates him but somehow not as much as I probably could have hated him for everything he did. Because I also... not justify him... not sympathize with him... I just know that everyone, everyone has darkness lurking in his heart. And sometimes this darkness comes to the surface and then it feeds on itself until it consumes the person. This is what happens to Clove. He starts as a righteous avenger and is twisted into a monstrous sadist.

So, one can say, for Aylock the 1st volume is purgatory. He passes through the suffering and then he can move on. Clove carries hell inside himself and this hell is inescapable.

how much like a willow Aylock is. He is bent to the point you think he will definitely be broken - but as soon as he can, he comes to life again. You can see glimpses of his indomitable nature even in the 1st volume but the 2nd volume is really a hymn to his ability not just to survive but to live again.

Ah, if someone doesn't know from other spoilers, in the 2nd volume Aylock is reborn (into a parallel world, apparently) and meets Clove who has some flashback dreams from the 1st volume but never treats them as anything but dreams. This and that happens, and they get together, and Aylock finally gets everything he wanted and needed from Clove. He is loved, he is cherished, he is pampered, he is protected, he has children, and Clove is an absolute wife's s*ave :)

There are still many heartbreaking moments, of course, and one scene that will plunge the knife in your heart and twist it, like, a hundred times - when Aylock falls apart after giving birth and tells Clove about his previous life (Clove doesn't believe but he also says the only right thing that Aylock needs to hear). I was crying so hard during this scene but it also made me laugh at one point when Aylock says to Clove that he killed someone, and Clove is like: OMG, he's so careless, he probably left a ton of evidence, quickly-quickly, tell me where's the corpse so that I can hide it!

There are also several extras to the 2nd volume, with some sweetness, some smut, some amusing things and yes, some knives. Because the trauma Aylock suffered in the previous life sometimes resurfaces, in PTSD flashbacks, or lucid dreams. But... I don't know how to explain it, it didn't make me feel miserable for Aylock, on the contrary, it made me proud and happy for him that despite this, he can still be happy and enjoy his life to the fullest. This trauma is a part of him but he is stronger than it. He is not just a survivor, he is a winner.

Clove is reborn. And Aylock doesn't have a chance to fall in love with him at the first sight because the first thing Clove does is to try to kill him.

I'd say, in the 3rd volume Aylock is an innocent child, and Clove is a demon who was locked in hell for many decades. And when he is freed, he still carries this hell inside him. The way he struggles to suppress this hell not to hurt the innocent Aylock in front of him is bitter and romantic at the same time. It is also the most smutty volume. Hehe, I'm used to reading Chinese BL where the smut usually makes you cringe in the best case, so it was very refreshing to read s*x scenes that were actually arousing.

Showing the horrid reality of nobility, and just how not being true to yourself can cause a horrible nightmare of chaos.

I want to say this now, that while our MC has done a terrible sin, I do not place him as equal to Klopp. No, he's not even close. We should fully recognise that MC didn't commit the crime; he didn't want Rafael to be r*ped or mu*dered. He simply wanted to give him a scare. However, we can't remove fault from the fact it was he who started the ball rolling. Honestly, if those men he paid to scare Rafael had no issue doing such a crime, it's highly possible that Rafael would have fallen to them with or without MC interference. Still, Aelock started the fall of dominoes that collided with the death of two innocent people.

Kloff, of course, has full right to get revenge. He caused the MC to lose everything he had with his abilities in investments. It's rather clear to me it was Klopp who made these traps for Aelock to fall into. I would have thought that having Aelock lose all his money, connections, becoming nothing more than a beggar would have been enough. But not for Klopp.

This is where Klopp falls from being a man who wanted revenge to being down right deprived. After taking Aelock of everything he had, he then takes away his Alpha status, turning him into an Omega and then repeatedly forces himself on Aelock. This is frankly so messed up. Klopp doesn't see the parallels of what he's doing. Aelock is on parallel to what happened to his late wife. We can't forget that Klopp believes Aelock looks exactly like his late wife as well.

So, not only does he get him with child, twice, and then throw Aelock away into a dirty cabin. Refusing to let Aelock to see his children. He doesn't even give Aelock the right to die on his own terms and when he does 'let go', he does it knowing that Aelock will be r*ped and/or killed down in the bottom. He knows damn right that will happen, and he's gleeful about it.

Our MC is sexually assaulted, forced to prostitute himself again and again. He loses three children because of the horrible violence and miscarries, he almost dies repeatedly and probably only survived because of being previously an Alpha. He's living in pure misery. With everything that has happened, how has he not paid for his sins? Neither he nor Klopp can see that Aelock has gone through so much more than Raphael did.

When Aelock returns to the mansion, it gets worse. After everything; Klopp beats him, r*pes him, berates him and keeps repeating this sickness. Why? Because Aelock can't cry. He wants to see him cry. Aelock can't cry because of the abuse he received as a child. The fact Aelock's conditioning won't break angers Klopp so much that he continues to put him through hell on earth.

After everything that had happened, Klopp didn't recognise that this was his fault. The hell he's created, this horrific hell that he refuses to get off. And why? Because Klopp loves Aelock, but because of his own self-hatred of wanting an Alpha, he refuses to give in. What Klopp doesn't realise is that he and Aelock are fated mates.

In the first life, Klopp would never have been satisfied with Raphael. If Aelock didn't cause the death of Raphael, and continued living his life, then they by fate they would have been forced into contact just like we've seen in volume 2.

Aelock would have come to Klopp for financial advice, just like in volume 2. Aelock would react to Klopp and transform into an Omega. Klopp would have reacted to that.

I honestly believe that Kloff would have forced himself on Aelock.

It doesn't matter what lifetime. Klopp will not stop chasing and forcing himself on Aelock.

Klopp, is the veritable monster here. It's Klopp who's mu*dered people. Klopp, who has horrific anger issues even outside of Aelock. Klopp, who goes down to the dingy streets to kill/beating people into submission because he can't handle his emotions. This wouldn't have calmed down because of Raphael; he would STILL have done these things because that's how he is.

Aelock made one f*cked up mistake; that spiralled into something horrible. Something he didn't want. But it's Klopp who goes out his way to cause hell on earth. Klopp, who's covered in blood.

ML humiliates the MC a lot in the first timeline and in the second timeline ML will come the MC or the central narrator, remembering that he was a horrible person. Fearing that the MC will remember the past life and hate him, that he (MC) will run away from him. A hell of a mess. Yes I hope ML suffers a lot. I hate him. The MC did a terrible crime, but I hate the ML much more.

MC wanted to teach Rayfiel (ML's omega male wife) some lessons and hired some cheap guys to scare him. However, those guys ended up raping a pregnant Rayfiel who died as a result of the r*pe. Although MC did not intended to kill Rayfiel, his action did cause his death but that does not mean he deserved what ML did to him.

If you were playing with a friend and unintentionally caused that friend's death, does that mean you should die too? Then why do we see soldiers who r*ped and killed children and women during wartime as heroes but not mu*derers? It's just us being human hypocrites when we try to judge the MC as a bad person for his action. I see it as an unfortunate mistake. He is not a saint; he's just human and he paid for his crime.

First and foremost, the tags that you are seeing aren't just for show. It has descriptions of heavily triggering elements such as-rape, s*xual assault, s*xual abuse, physical and emotional trauma, any related dark theme, you name it- described in full detail. Unlike it's other contemporaries which mention r*pe in passing or do not even mention it at all-give the seme/gong the golden ticket to live a happy-go-lucky life with their favourite uke/shou-this one has it all. You could say it's like the R-18, gorey ver. Of any wife-chasing crematorium novels you have read thus far. (OK, I'm kinda downplaying it here, since there's on that is at the same "depravity" level as this one and that's "Before your withering". But if I just go by the general demographic of novels available here on NU, there are not that many novels which focus on these sorts of heavily sensitized topics. So yeah, it's pretty messy) .

Second, if you feel uncomfortable/if any of these themes are triggering for you, pls back-off. Even I, who is pretty rotten to the core, was reluctant to thrust myself into this novel-just going by the general synopsis and spoiler threads. So, if you do feel any sorts of discomfort, just step down. Else if you are oh-so desperate to consume any sort of content but these themes aren't your cup of tea then just go to the spoiler thread to get vibe of Volume 1 and then start off your journey from Volume 2 onwards here. Though I would generally advice against going to spoiler threads-because, common now, the translator is probably wasting their blood, sweat and tears aka their valuable time in translating these novels-but I would suggest you to just check the spoilers out just for this novel. And another piece of advice. Don't headfirst lunge yourself into the manhua for this novel- you do not want to get yourself scarred for life. The manhua doesn't "only" describe smexy scenes-it has graphic descriptions of miscarriages, violence and stuff which mind you aren't described in passing- literal panels of manhwa have been dedicated to describe these scenes and the very suffering of MC so if you don't not wish to scar yourself for eternity-pls back off.

Final point to make note of. Pls do consume fiction for what it is. DO NOT let your imagination run off the mill. And as I mentioned in a previous review-put yourself as your first priority-not a lover, friend, stranger or anyone you just met online. You yourself are your most important, precious and valuable asset. So, pls do cherish yourself.

Now, if you were able to bear with me let's get onto the main "spoiler".

Welcome, to the random readers who were *not* awaiting this review; and here's your serving of the actual " review " or more like my pov; because this novel is a play on the main character's pov so; Anyways, here's the not-at all highly anticipated final opinion on the novel (w/o spoiling much) :

This was/is/and will be the most controversial theme of this novel; that is: Whose truly at fault? Is it MC for killing ML's "beloved" or is it ML for plotting an inhumane revenge plan for his lover's killer? Well, the way I'm putting it might be painting the MC as a villain-which he is, atleast in the 1st volume, no question on that, but was the "justice" which was carried out against MC truly justified? Well, if we go by opinion, it was "unnecessary". ML being highly educated could have sought out for the judiciary system, but I wonder what sort of " Justice" would have been served, given the prey-and-predator nature of a hierarchical society aka the nobility. Would a Count, whose history spans back to the very establishment of the empire, be held accountable against a Baron-who are basically newer nobles at the lower strata. That's a situation I wonder how it would have turned out. Unfortunately, there aren't any 'what ifs'. His (MC's) karma was the ML's verdict-a revenge plan so far gruesome that even wishing for death would have been a luxury for our MC. But, you know, even if for ML his "love" for his dead lover, his "revenge" against MC and his years of pain after MC's death was never what he (ML) wished for. But that's what everything panned out. He (ML) denied his feelings for MC, MC took revenge on his lover out of jealousy and then ML took revenge on MC. But the most innocent or the "collateral" in this entire relationship play was the lover and his child. "They" were indeed innocent. So MC's pain and suffering, atleast the degree to which he suffered, may not have been "justified" but it was indeed the seeds of his doing. "It" was his karma.

And, the most satisfying about this particular wife-chasing crematorium novel is-ML never got to meet "MC" again-neither in this life nor in the next one. He was able to "live" happily-ever-after with MC; but he could never truly love in happiness knowing that "his" "MC" was dead because of him. So, aptly put-this was ML's karma. To "live" with a living and breathing MC, experience his happiness and then feel endless guilt about the battered man whose vitality he s**ked day by day until his death. He has to feel that remorse for all his eternity-that's his (ML's) karma. So, on a personal note, I don't think the author could have made a better "ending" for either of the main characters-both got what they deserved. MC after paying his price did get to taste "happiness"-of a lover, family and children. Similarly ML after his cruel revenge plan, did get the eternal hell that was waiting for him. All got what they deserved. The author was the one who was " justified" handing such verdict to the main characters-couldn't have been written better.

What ML did to MC was not justifiable at all. What MC did was a huge mistake and he did not intend ML's late wife to get r*ped and killed. I get ML's anger and sorrow but isn't it better to let MC be miserable without looking back? Why sleep with MC? This just felt like rebound, in a pathetic way because why is your rebound the person who you thought killed your late wife? ML's brain was not braining at all, utterly corrupted. In addition to that, how can one death equivalates to multiple forced pregnancies and miscarriages + abuse? Definitely not justifiable, none of what ML did was out of "revenge".

In the alternate ending where MC survives, Martha (ML's maid) tells MC that she doesn't like MC like please shut up. Shut up, Martha. Have you not seen how he was mistreated? Stop putting oil into fire.

ML was sick in the head for telling the kids that their mother was ML's late wife and NOT the person who gave birth to them. Imagine giving birth to six children and all of them taken away from you and they were told that you are not their mother.

I know this is random but sometimes, in my head, I was shipping Linus with MC. I know it's bizarre to even think that but I did that because I wanted MC to be with someone else and move on from ML (also because I don't know anyone else aside from Richard and Linus that have interacted with MC) 😭🔫

ML has internalized h*mophobia issues, man that guy really really really hates AA and OO relationships.

There was quite a funny scene where ML tried to compare the taste between Rafiel and MC's tears. That sh*t was so random like what 😭

ML was so whipped in 2nd TL and kept emphasizing that MC was his *beautiful* omega.

From the side story, their eldest son, was very cute and protective towards his mother, MC. I love his thought process and actually thinking that his father, ML, was a demon king. So cute !!

didn't read much, I skipped a lot of mid chapters to avoid angst and drama especially because ML was being a difficult person so I can't say much about this TL. 2nd TL was full of sparkles and puppy love but 3rd TL was just depressing and angsty. However I do love the last chapters nonetheless where ML was experiencing regret and sorrow. I'm surprised 3rd TL is considered a side story when I read the raws which means that only 1st TL and 2nd TL are the main story (thank goodness for that because I'm hoping the manhwa to stop at 2nd TL). Therefore, I don't regret not reading much of 3rd TL 😅

Linus HIGHKEY a good friend because he's attentive and actually nice. He just looks cold, he's like a person with a "resting bit*h face" which makes him look unapproachable but in reality he's pretty nice. He's the one who helped ML to find MC in the 2nd TL and the only one (aside from the in-house staffs) who knew about MC's pregnancy, he also warned MC to be cautious around ML in the 3rd TL. As you can see, he's caring.