Its not great. There aren't even that many issues with the story, but the ones that are there are significant.

Pacing is perhaps one the biggest problem, in six chapters the story goes through at least two 'arcs'. Both were rushed, with next to no development on nearly all fronts. Scenes that I would expect to take up entire chapter or two were condensed into a bare two or three hundred words. Perhaps that doesn't sound like a lot, but the review up until this point had 72 words in it.... more>> A significant scene had the word count of three to four paragraphs from beginning to end.

The negative influence from the pacing does only effect the plot, but also the characters. They don't even get the chance to be cardboard cutouts, before being warped into something else. The characters are barely even archetypical, with how little development they get. The side characters don't even get that.

There is also an over reliance upon dialogue. I suspect that this is part of what contributes to the poor pacing, but can in no way be the entire reason for failure. There is a general lack of world building, necessary and unnecessary. The story relies more on implicit ideas and genre tropes than anything else. While excessive world building can easily lead to contradictions, an empty world gives no help in maintaining consistency.

Overall, the seven chapters I read felt more clumsy than anything else. The passionate writing of an extreme novice. There are some creative touches here and there, but the overall product is severely lacking. Needless to say, I didn't enjoy it, but neither I find nor dislike it enough to rate it one star. It wasn't good, but I don't think its a stain on the internet. <<less