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Xu Ping’s brother is a retard.

But this stupid brother only has eyes for his older brother.

Associated Names
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Related Series
I Want To Enjoy A Country Life! (2)
Kill the Lights (2)
Dead End (1)
Rebirth of Chen An (1)
True Star (1)
The Big Landlord (1)

Latest Release

Date Group Release
03/02/17 Chinese BL Translations c54
02/23/17 Chinese BL Translations c53
02/16/17 Chinese BL Translations c52
02/09/17 Chinese BL Translations c51
02/02/17 Chinese BL Translations c50
01/26/17 Chinese BL Translations c49
01/19/17 Chinese BL Translations c48
01/12/17 Chinese BL Translations c47
01/06/17 Chinese BL Translations c46
01/05/17 Chinese BL Translations c45
01/01/17 Chinese BL Translations c44
12/31/16 Chinese BL Translations c43
12/30/16 Chinese BL Translations c42
12/24/16 Chinese BL Translations c41
12/23/16 Chinese BL Translations c40
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10 Reviews sorted by

New Catastrophe3905 rated it
May 21, 2019
Status: Completed
This is so well written, so beautiful. It deals the emotions of the characters extremely well. I am in love with this story. It is heart breaking and breathtaking (lol, look who became a poet). But it has a happy ending so go ahead and read it everyone. If this story happened anyway different it wouldn't have the same ending.

if the friend wasn't a backstabber he wouldn't have felt guilty and helped the MC

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December 11, 2016
Status: --
Incredibly well-written, sad, and heart-wrenchingly tragic.

Xu Ping has one mentally disabled younger brother and a near absent father. He grows up basically parenting his younger brother, and he has to deal with bullies, insidious gossip, and the frustrations of having to use all of his time and effort on a family member whom he can't get through to half of the time. Not only that, he develops doubly forbidden feelings. Homos*xuality, by itself, is criminally punishable and shameful during this time period. The shame Xu Ping feels is doubled... more>> by the fact that the target of his interest is his brother...

The internal struggles that Xu Ping has to face and the nuanced external judgement that he must deal with make this a very agonizing and sad read. <<less
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KeikoKat rated it
March 23, 2016
Status: --
I find the development of feelings between the two brothers very adorable and real. Unlike some other fluffy yaoi novels, there is substance in the turn of events and enough character introspection that the audience can easily witness the character development. I find the characters very relatable, especially the main character, Xu Ping, and there are definitely moments where I could totally imagine myself having the same reaction. I wouldn't know much about China so I could be wrong but the time setting also seems legit and it gives the... more>> book a serious tone like the tone of an autobiography or a "based on a true event" kind of story. I guess the author is just that good at portraying things realistically. <<less
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moiralyn rated it
August 16, 2017
Status: c54
I honestly can't see how 24 people could have rated this 1 star. I suspect they didn't read it. Perhaps they didn't like the tags? I'm only speculating though. I just know that anyone who enjoys this genre would not give it a 1 star rating. And if you don't enjoy the genre... why are you rating at all?? *end rant*

What I enjoy are good stories and this is a beautiful story and should have a higher rating. I guess my rant wasn't actually over... On to the review!

The translation... more>> is top quality which showcases the author's talents as the language draws you in and immediately immerses you into the story. Wonderful imagery, authentic details (and interesting tidbits from the translator), often lyrical word choice, etc. The chapters are separated into 3 "books", Book 1 takes place in 1983, Book 2 in 1989, and Book 3 in 2006. Everything that was happening in mainland China in those years provides a vivid and heart wrenching backdrop to a very heart wrenching story. The characters are very believable and all the conflicts are realistic.

I read it all in one sitting and I cried many times. It's all worth it in the end though. <<less
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Nic rated it
March 7, 2018
Status: Completed
At first I was reluctant to read this because I abhor incest but then the translator's comments won me over.

When I started reading, I couldn't stop anymore except for the moments when I couldn't control my tears that won't stop falling down. The plot is really too much for my fragile heart. The bond that they have which is stronger than that of brothers is admirable. I will not comment on the incest thing because I understand the feelings of the MC. Such courage and devotion towards his brother is... more>> something that only a few could do.

5 stars - for the sole reason that the story touched the deepest part of me. Good job to the author! <<less
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Namjoon9499 rated it
January 12, 2017
Status: c46
I want to thank you so much for translating this novel. This novel make me happy, sad, angry, sometime even all mixed into one.
BL novel with incest is rare or maybe I couldn't find it, but this one was written beautifully, it touched heart deeply. I'm really thankful for translating such an amazing novel and I'm glad I pick up this novel. I hope my two baby have a happily ever after <3
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darlingv rated it
April 11, 2019
Status: Completed
This was the first translated novel that I ever read and till today it remains one of the most memorable. I won't talk about the wrongs about their relationship except to say that many things are required to be experienced in person or seen from another's point of view before being judged.

I completely understand how they fell for each other. When you only have one person in your life that you're close to, that you love, that you've been taking care off/ has been taking care of you, that person... more>> is your everything.

The story is tragic but also extremely beautiful. The struggles of life are abundant, but the resilience of the human spirit is not to be underestimated. And, as cliche as it sounds, sometimes, love is really all you need to soothe a weary soul (even if it is one that is taboo). <<less
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boundedbrother18 rated it
July 29, 2018
Status: Completed
I liked this novel so much that I had to register an account to write a comment on this. I rarely read a novel because it is often too long for me. But this one I read in 2 days straight to finish the whole story which I felt very moved. I have a different outlook about life now thanks to this. Highly recommended!
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stygetsu rated it
March 27, 2018
Status: Completed
To have this work translated is a Blessing (with a capital B.) The translation is very good that it successfully evoked raw emotion, and it immerses you into a sad, heart-wrenching heartbreak of a story.

The tags may seem deplorable and atrocious, but I suggest you go out of your comfort zone and (at least) explore this one single work. You'll undergo an emotional turmoil so ravishing that you'll constantly find yourself in tears.

This is my kind of work.
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JohnnyCakes rated it
March 24, 2019
Status: Completed
This book hurts. It’s so beautiful and I cried so much in this damn. It’s a emotional roller coaster of a forbidden love between brothers. It felt like my heart was getting pulled out of my chest half the time.

The story is exciting and tragic, the characters are well developed and it was easy to understand (at least for me). I wish the author wrote slightly more in the years he was in prison, the life after the ending and more of Huang Fan. To be honest, I actually really... more>> liked him, I knew that he really loves Xu Ping and that he regretted his decisions...

Okay yes. I wanted extras for Huang Fan to see him suffering. I just like seeing sub-main characters suffering over the main characters... is it weird? <<less
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