I really don't know what to say. When mc's little brother dies, I really cried. It was really painful to read that chapter. I don't know how MC is going to forgive ML when he didn't let his little brother see him and be with him in his last days.

this novel is very well written and the characters are believable. It's great that ML helped MC get better. He tried to understand MC and the pain he caused him. It's really well described and it makes sense that it took MC years to get better. If he got better in a few months, it wouldn't be believable at all. The author is really great. The novel is toxic and really engaging, not boring at all. I'm just glad that ML realized what harm he did to MC and helped MC.

Mc's brother dies and MC loses both his lover and his brother and ML also ab*ses him. MC gets depressed. MC commits su*cide and is unconscious in the hospital for several months and ML stays with him the whole time. And when he wakes up, he has forgotten his memories with ML and later when he remembers, ML leaves him. Because he is afraid that he will cause his death. ML buys him a house and MC goes to another city and works and lives there. Later, MC himself goes to see ML after 3 years. And ML occasionally goes to see MC in the city where he lives and later ML convinces MC to go back to seoul together, because there are better hospitals there. (Because MC cut his wrist in the past). ML gives him a job in his company. They live together and ML tries to make MC better, pays attention to him and treats him well. MC hears at the company that ML wants to marry a lawyer and when he is about to go home he hears ML talking about marriage. A few days later he gets drunk with a colleague and cries and says that his lover is marrying someone else. He falls asleep and the coworker has to take him home. ML keeps calling, but mc's coworker turns off his phone. Then ML calls the coworker because he knew MC was going to have dinner with him. His colleague tells him that MC is sleeping. At that moment, ML was at the door of his house. The colleague tells ML that MC thinks his lover is cheating on him. Then MC wakes up and runs away, ML follows him and MC cries and tells ML that he knows he wants to get married. ML says he wants to marry MC and they are going to get married in america. MC and ML go on a trip to america a few months later, where they get married in a church and make good memories.