I disliked the first part because that's the part where the main characters behave in such a way I disapprove but I REALLY liked the second part and more specifically, how the first and second part were linked.

The link ? Karma.

Whatever you do, it will always come back to you. Not necessarily the way you expect it, but it comes back in some way. Sometimes, it is just in the form of your conscience. So in the end, whatever you become in the future, you can't blame others : you should just look at yourself and your actions. At least, I felt this was one of the morals of the story. Even weakness can become a sin (this last point is cruel but I'm afraid it is very realistic : in this world, you cannot let your weaknesses affect you too much if you want to reach happiness ; even the weakness out of love, like with Bala or Xu Yi)

This moral reflects with the characters. More specifically, the four main characters. What I like about those four is that they were complex because they were two-dimensional : none of them were really bad. But they sometimes ended up taking the wrong decisions, due to personal feelings. Like Bala who did too many sacrifices (even sometimes bad things) for Zhang Yan but wasn't a bad girl, just a girl who loved her man too much ; Zhang Yan who, at the beginning of the story, lets his anger and his bitterness dominate him but who SERIOUSLY repents and takes his lesson from his wrongdoings ; and Xu Yi who was once a kind and promising man but gets ruined by a bad experience.

So another asset of this novel is the characters, especially the leads, Zhang Yan and Li Er. Zhang Yan first appeared to me as a manipulative jerk. And I really think that's what he was then. Not because this was his real personality. But anger and bitterness due to being given up by his mom lead him to be unreasonable : however, his decisions taken on a moment of anger ultimately go too far before he realizes it. Just like a kid. Because that's what he was then :a kid, an angry and upset kid who had serious scars in his heart. So we can't help but feel like anyone could do the mistakes he did. But what I liked about him, the reason why I feel like he got his happy ending in the end : he takes his lesson for his past mistakes and doesn't repeat it. His punishment is his conscience haunting him so you don't feel like he's forgiven too easily. Nevertheless, no matter how guilty he feels, that doesn't stop him from living on, no matter how hard it is. In other words, he changes. Not due to some divine intervention or to someone : he changes on his own.

Li Er is also an amazing character : I just LOVE her. She may look very silent, very passive but she actually has this inner strength, this instinct of happiness. She's someone who would prioritize love and friendship over anger and hatred. That doesn't mean she has none of these in her heart : she does but she chooses not to let these dominate her life. Nevertheless, Li Er is not a pushover : her strength is just silent. Because she's like that, she's able to bound with and attract people she wasn't meant to : Bala should have been her most hated rival, Li Er ended up being her only comfort ; she should have hated Zhang Yan but they ultimately became each other's happiness.

Which leads me to the thing that ultimately makes me really like this novel : the bound between Li Er and Zhang Yan. It is silent and unexpected, and very appeasing. In the previous comments, someone wrote that she didn't understand why they were together, that it felt like they were just filling the emptiness left by Bala. I can understand that someone has this impression but I really feel like there is more than this in their relationship : their grieving over Bala may be what brought them together but this is not what kept them together. They both fall in love with each other for their kindness but also for the devotion they have for their loved ones.

I feel like the novel is not only about the karma of life but also about how life doesn't always turn like you expected. You bound with people you didn't think you would ; the one you believed to be your Prince Charming disappoints you while the dark knight is the one ultimately taking care of you ; those who seemed to have a perticular road end up straying from it. This feels very realistic.

nevertheless, there is ONE little thing that stops me from giving this novel five points

at some point, Bala is pregnant with Zhang Yan. He decides they can't have this baby so he wants to force her to abort. I can understand his decision because I personally think that one should not give birth if he's not sure he can give happiness and stability to a child. And at that point of the story, Bala and Zhang Yan could not : they were not mature enough and they didn't even have the financial resources needed for a child.

What I really disliked in this point of the story is that Zhang Yan even HIT Bala. I can put that on the account of Zhang Yan's young age.

Nevertheless, I see this way too often in Chinese novels and that REALLY starts to piss me : men being violent towards women and the story presenting it like it's no big deal.

HELL TO THE NO TO THAT !!

Dear Chinese authors, stop presenting domestic violence and r*pe (because that also often appears) as being acceptable, damn it !

i also feel like the author's writing should be improved, more specifically, she should learn to elaborate her writing.

For example why did Zhang Yang and Li Er fall in love. To me it looked like they were just getting together to fill in the absence of Ba La in their hearts. I wish the author had built on their relationship. At one point, Li Er was completely in love with Xi Yi and soon after, she found love in Zhang Yang. How? Why? When did they begin to find solace in one another? Perhaps 13 chapters is a bit too short to cull out the details but to me, their 'love' felt just too sudden and awkward.

Many questions remain unanswered as well - why did Xi Yi cheat on LE? He didn't seem to have such a rotten character before. Why did he change? Why did he chase after Jiang Jiao? My brain is just buzzing why 'how/why' questions.