This is a person who is difficult and incomprehensible in terms of emotions, but he still follows the one who became his light in this indifferent, boring and mechanical world. He chooses the MC's side over and over again, even when he himself does not understand or know the reason.

MC, if you look at it, puts morality and his work at the forefront. It is important for him that the person he chooses ultimately meets these moral canons (in his own head). He may not trust and lie, he may check and at the same time demand that ML does not hide anything, and so on. Yes, there are many sweet moments. There is a conversation that resolves their questions. But only this, in the end, is not an equal relationship. It’s just that MC is lucky that the whole dilemma with doubts about ML’s actions is essentially either an accident or a necessity, but without any wrongdoing. Otherwise he wouldn't have chosen him. MC demands answers to questions, he sets the rules, he also wants ML to name their relationship. But he himself is not fully ready to do this personally.

And my problem with the perception of this novel lies precisely in these small but ambiguous moments. Because I look forward to a strong and committed relationship where there is you and your partner and the world will either follow you or you will stand against it together.

This is my personal idealization as a reader. I'm just tired of the world being chosen instead of and in spite of.