Not in Vain

Description

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“Accompanying you on this journey, my life is not in vain.”

The story of the little merman repaying gratitude by offering himself in marriage.

Lu Ji x Yu Xiaoman

Cold and stern general in a wheelchair (will recover later) Gong x Beautiful wife (is actually a merman) Shou

Associated Names
One entry per line
Không Uổng
ชีวาไม่สูญเปล่า
不枉
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish [Transmigration] (1)
Flower Dream (1)
Ling Shan Jun (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Soft, Clingy, Affectionate Shou - Danmei (BL)
  2. Danmeis
  3. TBR (mermaid BLs)
  4. (BL)Ancient China
  5. Favorite Mpreg of all time

Latest Release

Date Group Release
06/18/24 Chrysanthemum Garden c10
06/17/24 Chrysanthemum Garden c9
06/17/24 Chrysanthemum Garden c8
06/17/24 Chrysanthemum Garden c7
06/17/24 Chrysanthemum Garden c6
06/16/24 Chrysanthemum Garden c5
06/15/24 Chrysanthemum Garden c4
06/15/24 Chrysanthemum Garden c3
06/14/24 Chrysanthemum Garden c2
06/13/24 Chrysanthemum Garden c1
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5 Reviews sorted by


Resplendor
Resplendor rated it
August 23, 2024
Status: --
Surprisingly good!

This gets the jobs done in 40-ish chapters, what other stories take 150+

It's not too complicated. You might yell at the ML a few times though as a lot of drama could have been avoided if he just opened his freaking mouth and told the MC his plans.

Still, a decent read.
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starcake
starcake rated it
March 13, 2025
Status: Completed
1.5 stars: Story starts off very promising but ends up vaguely wandering along punctuated by the most generic clichés, lack of explanation, and perfunctory plot beats, with two blandly generic characters who don't appear to have any reason to actually fall in love each other, much less as deeply as the story insists. The novel's premise is like many folktales of a supernatural being becoming human to secretly repay a debt to the human that saved them, and boy was I here for it because I love folktales, and unfortunately... more>> boy did I end up slowly getting bored. Though this story is on the shorter side for a novel at 44 chapters, it really could have been half as long because of the lack of character development, plot, and anything of interest happening. Incidentally, the extras aren't really extras in my opinion as they are a straight continuation of an otherwise unfinished story.

This is the story of a fish that eventually turned into a merman that was eventually able to turn into a human, determined to repay his savior, a now-disabled young lord in a wheelchair. Although it starts off very well with lushly poetic descriptions (the translation is quite good and the actual writing continues throughout the story to be occasionally poetic) and a merman determined to repay his debt by any means, the romance falls flat due to zero chemistry and lacking a real basis for growing a relationship—I couldn't really tell why either of them fell in love beyond the story dictating it. While the MC became passionate about his savior for the most generic reasons, the ML became passionate about the MC with pretty much zero backing and also barely showed how "passionate" he was. It's kind of like when you watch a movie that has actors phoning it in based on a script you can tell the writer cared about but ended up stretching what should have been a sweet romantic short with a bit of angst into 3-hour-long drag riddled with unnecessary drama and poorly-resolved complications. Plot dumb also started to happen more and more frequently, and after a while I just could not turn my brain off anymore.

Incidentally, the rescue incident this entire story revolves around? It's not actually covered in the story. The MC just endlessly refers to it and once or twice there's a couple of lines of slightly more detailed recollection, but that's it. It's not a spoiler to say that basically, the MC was a fish lying on the beach out of the water, the ML happened to see him, and because he's a romantic lead, caringly puts the fish back into the sea and speaks to him tenderly.

And that's it. Look, as far as folktales go that's pretty spot-on, but when you're the genesis of a whole frickin' romance novel, I expect slightly more detail and maybe an actual scene via flashback. Like, why was the fish stranded on the beach? Was he running away from a predator? Was the water too choppy after a storm and he got tossed up on the sand? Was he being an idiot and playing chicken with the waves and got beached? And why was the ML, the first son of a respected noble family from the capital, on a remote beach by a rural village? How exactly did the MC find out the ML's identity and location, as when the story begins the MC already knows who and where he is, but uh he was a fish for many years before he could turn into even a merman and then finally into a human, so it's not exactly like he could do reconnaissance on the ML. (I admit that because all the "details" of this scene were like two or three sentences scattered over the course of the whole novel, maybe there was some vague detail about this or that that I don't remember. But it's pretty telling that I don't remember them—clearly they weren't memorable or detailed enough to be remembered, if they even exist.)

A lot of the finer details of the story are like this: Just not there. And you just have to take it for granted that oh yeah, somehow people just know stuff for some reason even when it makes no sense, and have learned how to do things they shouldn't know how to do, and etc, even though it's all kinda weird if you think about it. And personally, I don't really like stories that break under the pressure of half a second of basic thinking. If it's a silly or crack or comedic story, I can suspend my disbelief much more easily, but this story is supposed to be a sweet but dramatic and Very Serious romance.

The MC starts off well but after several chapters becomes a hapless, spineless, flavorless protagonist who just sort of exists as a secret man-fake-bride in the household disdained by nearly everyone, and accepts it because what else can he do as he has no position or authority. The only time he grows a couple inches of spine is when people insult his husband, and even then it amounts to him just getting angry and pouty and possibly defending his husband, to no real avail or to his own detriment.

However, he's also a very confusing character—he was an ocean fish for most of his life, then a few years ago was able to change into a merman, then a while later could finally become fully human, and his only exposure to human culture was a rural seaside village where he'd occasional come ashore to play with the children. He has an older mermaid sister but no other family and there is approximately zero mention of other mermaids or mermaid culture in the book beyond a few legends and one or two vague mentions of "elders". Yet somehow the MC can read and write, sew clothes, do embroidery, weave cloth, tie decorative cords and knots, can make purchases in shops and knows the value of and how to use money, knows how to use chopsticks, and knows enough etiquette to successfully bluff his way through marrying into and living in a noble household as a woman, and more. WTF? The story never addresses how he learned how to do any of this.

Even his mermaid powers are ill-explained and nonsensical. The story makes a big deal at first about him weaving a piece of "mermaid silk" for the ML, but how he does this in the middle of a hostile household while keeping his merman identity a secret is never explained, nor is it clear what exactly he's weaving this silk out of. The story mentions a couple of times that he has seaweed or something around his wrist and implies he can use it as a weapon or something, but nothing ever happens with it (and I'm talking literally twice I think this weird wrist seaweed is mentined in the whole 44 chapters). He can talk to the carp in the pond of the courtyard he shares with the ML, and somehow these fish in an isolated pond can send messages and bring letters back from the MC's mermaid sister in the ocean? How??? Mermaids are apparently known creatures in this world and though rare are hunted for their oil to make ever-burning lamps in the imperial palace, but we learn nothing else about how merfolk are regarded in human society, neither practical stuff nor legendary stuff, and we learn approximately zero about mermaid culture. Most of the time the story makes it seem like the MC and his sister are the only mermaids around.

As became apparent the further I read, the MC is frustratingly s*upid, and I can't even attribute this to being naïve. It's a secret that he's a merman, and at the emperor's palace he sees a magically bright lamp and asks about it and is told oh yeah, those lamps never go out because they're fueled by mermaid oil and that's why these rare mermaids are so valuable. And the MC is appropriately horrified and frightened, and yet after wandering around after the palace banquet, comes across a pond and decides to change into his tail and go for a dip because he misses the water so much. This, not more than a couple of hours after hearing how mermaids are slaughtered for their oil, smack dab in the middle of the imperial palace during a banquet. Throughout the story he keeps being incredibly dumb about shifting into his tail—forgetting to put up a screen when bathing so anybody could just walk in directly and see him, thinking that it's cool to go for a dip in the pond at home at noon because everyone else is resting, etc.

Spoiler

Incidentally, nobody ever discovers he's a merman despite all his s*upidity. He goes through the entire story and the biggest reveal is that he somehow gets outed as a man, although it's unclear to me how this was discovered and who exactly outed him, as apparently this was revealed by a letter sent to the household. After some predictable and generic drama, the ML tries to send him away, only for the MC to disappear on his own right after curing the ML's legs.

Oh, and the ML apparently knew that the MC was the fish he saved years and years ago, and that he was a merman, because of the day of the ML's mother's death anniversary when the MC thought he was alone with the memorial tablet and told the mother he wanted to repay the ML for saving him even at the cost of his own life, and the ML happened to be outside and overheard him. Somehow, despite the MC being super vague with his words, the ML's big brain leapt to all the correct conclusions that 1. the MC was the fish he saved on the beach and threw back into the ocean years agon and 2. the MC is also a merman. So for a huge chunk of the story he apparently knew everything about the MC, which makes his behavior in retrospect even more a**holish.

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The ML is a stone wall of inscrutableness and calmness and stoicism. The MC never knows what he's thinking and for 80% of the novel neither did I—I only knew when the novel directly told me, which was 10% of the time, and the other 10% was all clichés, like his eyes generically softening when the MC did something generically charming, or him showing up late to a date with the MC waiting for hours in the rain because he believed in the ML. At one point the MC asks when the ML fell in love with him and the ML thinks about how it's a "culmination of daily interactions" and then namedrops the three or four romantically clichéd scenes that happened, as well as thinking about how the MC accepted him and did this and that for him and etc, and somehow I didn't buy any of it. Outside of those specific several scenes mentioned, I felt like they didn't interact much at all, much less on a daily basis. Most of the time the ML was away at work, and when he was home he was just silently doing paperwork or reading in his study while the MC sat in the same room and read his own books or embroidered, and when they reluctantly slept in the same bed due to circumstances, they didn't talk or anything, just awkwardly lay side by side and went to sleep.

Additionally, because he's so inscrutable and reserved and cautious, the ML falls prey to that most frustrating and annoying of tropes: Not Telling the MC Things He Really Should Have Just Explained Upfront. Like, if you supposedly deeply fell in love with this guy and trust him implicitly never to harm you and you know he's wholly devoted to you, why wouldn't you just tell him, "Hey, I'm gonna say/do/act like this for this reason, but I don't mean it, it's part of a strategy, so just play along"?

Then it's the MC's turn to always be so understanding after the ML repeatedly hurts him with this sort of behavior as long as the ML reveals how painful it was to keep silent supposedly for the MC's own good, and for the MC to be pouty-angry at worst and totally forgiving and grateful and full of love at best, instead of rightfully pissed off that the ML kept stuff from him and put him through the emotional wringer for no good reason. *cue massive eyeroll*

Overall, the MC just suffers a whole lot throughout the story for assorted reasons, including but not limited to the ML's s*upid behavior, whereas the ML doesn't really suffer much. At most, he's upset/angry once in a while, but he doesn't really go through much emotional turmoil considering how much he (unwittingly as well as sometimes purposefully) inflicts on the MC.

The story tries to have a dramatic intertwined plot concerning a secret traitor who may have been involved in the attack that paralyzed the ML while he was on the battlefront, but it's all really vague, only mentioned once in a while, and the eventual resolution of it is equally vague and happens off-screen, with the ML only referring to it in a couple of sentences at the end of the story.

Spoiler

His evil concubine-stepmother's evil family had evilly plotted to have the ML evilly killed so that the stepmother's evil son could then inherit the title and wealth. Only the attack failed and instead of killing him, only succeeded in paralyzing his legs. The father is reluctant to name his second son (the stepmother's son) as heir since he's a wastrel and technically secondborn and the son of a concubine and not the (now-dead) main wife, but he's also aware that the ML is physically compromised and... I'm not sure I get why it's such a big deal since he was a promising young general and like saved the country already or whatever so it's not like he's disgraced, and yeah his legs now don't work and he had to retire from the battlefield, but he apparently still holds some kind of military position where he does do work and inspect troops and stuff, and he's also still capable in bed so he could technically still produce an heir of his own.

Initially I thought the issue was that he was thought incapable of having kids due to his injury so he'd be a dead-end as family heir, but that's not the case and it seems like everyone in the family knows this too, like, it's not an issue, even his grandmother expresses hope that the MC will be preggo soon.

Anyway, the whole family, from his evil stepmother to his not-evil-but-kind-of-weird dad to his supposedly-loving grandmother actually do not give two sh*ts about the ML compared to saving face and protecting the family name, as when the stepbrother openly tries to mu*der the ML at home in a fit of rage one night only for the MC to throw himself in the way and take a knife in the back to protect the ML, the rest of the family hastily comes together to scapegoat a random servant and have him beaten to death, and then repeatedly tell the MC that it was dark that night, he must have been mistaken, brother killing brother would be a serious crime, etc. When the MC tries to talk to the ML about this, the ML just kinda shrugs and is like, "Yeah I know that they know and are protecting my brother, what can I do about it."

Through vague "investigations" involving the help of the ML's friend and vaguely-second-male-lead Shen Hanyuun and a lot of letter writing, the ML finds out that the stepmother's family was probably involved in the original paralyzing attack on him, as well as other vaguely referenced attempts at maybe assassination or otherwise trying to bring him down.

Then when the MC dramatically runs away he leaves behind, among other things, a letter detailing the stepmother's treachery in far greater detail than the ML was ever able to find out (not that the story details any details, of course, it just says there was a list of her misdeeds), though how the f*ck the MC found this stuff out is a mystery, and as the story describes nothing further, it literally seems like he just wrote a letter saying she did bad stuff, with no mention of proof or evidence or anything. But I guess there must have been since apparently this letter was enough for the ML to go to the emperor and kickstart an investigation into the crimes of the stepmother's family that ended up with them disgraced and in jail, including her and her son. Which is the stuff the ML tells the MC upon being reunited, covered in a couple of sentences.

What I've just written here is probably longer and more detailed than the actual investigation-plot stuff in the story, which I remind you is 44 chapters long.

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I'm usually the first to loudly complain about a disabled character being conveniently "cured" of their disability by the end of the story, but in this case since the premise is about a merman seeking to repay a life debt by magically healing his benefactor's paralyzed legs, I was okay with it. However, the presentation of ML's disability is both weird and thoughtless, as half the time it doesn't sound like he's disabled at all since despite being in a wheelchair with wooden wheels in ancient China, he gets around just fine all by himself, can pick up and carry the MC and put him to bed, sneak around at night to investigate suspicious people and search bedrooms, and do assorted other things that make me wonder how he's doing this if he can't use his legs or stand up.

I don't know what wheelchairs in ancient China were like, but this guy sure gets around the estate with relative ease despite my knowledge of ancient Chinese historical buildings being that, like most ancient historical buildings, they generally lacked ramps and gently inclined surfaces, instead using steps/stairs. Aside from maybe one mention of his particular courtyard being suitable for a wheelchair, and another singular mention that it takes him "an hour" just to make it to the central courtyard because of his wheelchair, it doesn't sound like the rest of the estate has been modified to accommodate him OR is particularly difficult for him to navigate, as it never comes up aside from those two sole throwaway lines.

The only character I ended up actively liking was the MC's maid, Yu Tao, who was sent along with him from the village and loyally serves her "mistress" and quickly becomes a sassy friend in addition to being a servant. She tries to help him with his husband-woes, brings snacks to him (and eats them too), and stands up for him against the invariably hostile other servants of the household. Sadly, she basically drops out of the story by the end, though there are a couple token scenes and mentions of her later on to tie up loose ends. Yu Tao was the only character with actual personality.

There was also a sort-of kind-of second male lead, the ML's friend Shen Hanyun, who somehow also coincidentally enough also has ties to the MC, as the MC rescued him from drowning years ago, back when he had just become a merman but before he could turn into a human, though it's unclear if Shen Hanyun knew he was a merman or just thought he was a random shy village guy who swam off into the ocean after saving him. But despite clearly having some interest and possible feelings for the MC, Shen Hanyun wasn't even really a second lead as the MC was oblivious to his interest and had no further interest in him than "he's my husband's friend", and the ML himself trusted him wholly and implicitly even if he was occasionally stereotypically jealous of Shen Hanyun getting along with his "wife", and poor Shen Hanyun just didn't have enough screentime to stir up either pity or drama or anything else.

As for plot dumb, one of the most egregious moments was where the MC could have simply either a) plausibly lied and no one the wiser or b) told the truth while leaving out a tiny bit of info and no one the wiser, especially since he could have easily proved his words and therefore his innocence, but instead he was "too stubborn" to lie and apparently too dumb to realize he only had to tell part of the truth or the truth in a different way, so when he was accused of a crime, he just hung his head and let everyone believe he was guilty.

Specifically:

Spoiler

He was pulling scales from his tail to grind into powder that he secretly added to the ML's food and drink since mermaid scales have healing/strengthening properties. Household servants apparently witnessed and caught him adding a white powder to the ML's diet multiple times but also apparently didn't do anything about it or report it to anyone until the day someone drugged the ML's tea with an aphrodisiac, which of course meant that the MC simply had to engage in their/his first time hot not-at-all-awkward wheelchair smut in order to detoxify him.

The morning after, the ML is a cold a**hole to the MC and the whole household gathers to accuse him of poisoning/drugging the young master, with multiple servants coming forward clamoring about the white powder the MC has been adding to the ML's food and drink recently, and one of the maids saying the MC was the one who sent the drugged tea to the ML. Also, gaspshock, there's a bag of mysterious white powder right there fallen open on the bedroom floor where the MC dropped it in his haste to get it on with the ML.

The MC despairs because the ML is cold to him and there are so many witnesses and the household has hated him from the beginning, and he can't tell them the truth that the powder is made from his own ground-up mer-scales! That would reveal his nature as a merman! But he's "too stubborn" to lie, so he just lowers his head and admits to adding the powder and says nothing more, instead of saying "it's a health supplement and not a poison or aphrodisiac, I can prove it, I'll take some myself right now."

So he gets reviled and slapped under house arrest and drama ensues, until a while later during another confrontation the ML finally steps in and claims... it's a health supplement and he's been aware of the MC adding it to his food, and knows he did it secretly because the MC knew he'd reject it, so it was done out of love and concern for his health.

And everyone is forced to accept him at his word. Why the f*ck didn't the MC say this right when he was accused? And even if they'd demanded to know where he got it, he's been out shopping by himself before, he could just say he bought it outside.

Eventually after "investigating", the ML announces that it was actually the jealous maid who served both him and the MC who had drugged him, and she gets punished and thrown out of the estate. There was some weird backstory about how she'd been raised in the household to become his concubine or something but that didn't happen because he got married and I guess had no interest in it? It was kind of vague and didn't make a whole lot of sense, except to provide her with motivation to hate the MC and try to drug the ML so that she could get it on with him and get pregnant and force her way into becoming a concubine.

Speaking of which, that's another reason I didn't like the ML. He knew this maid was being a d*ck to the MC and although he reprimanded her once or twice after catching her during especially rude behavior, he still had her be one of the primary servants taking care of the MC instead of giving her the boot or reassigning her elsewhere.

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This was the turning point where I also started disliking the MC because the plot was forcing him to be way too s*upid, to the point where it didn't make sense.

Ultimately I kept reading to see how things would pan out, especially with the treachery backstory, but the latter was disappointingly resolved off screen and the romance played out exactly as I expected—only worse, because once again, the shallow generic characters and lack of chemistry made everything boring. I didn't feel any passion, didn't really care whether the CP stayed together or parted, and when they reunited I just rolled my eyes.

The mpreg warning at the beginning of the extras made me think it was going to be graphic or weird, but it's nothing of the sort. There's not even a birth scene, it just skips from talk about the MC having a small baby bump due to having two eggs, resting in a vat of water everyday due to pregnancy, and then there's a sudden skip to the babies already being born.

This is also a story where Tragic Sacrifices ensue, only to be largely undone or hand-waved later because the author wanted there to be a totally happy ending:

Spoiler

The MC heals the ML's legs by ripping his "mermaid pearl" out of his chest and forcing it into the ML's body (?), which was he source of all his mer-powers. Now that he's given it away, he can no longer change back into a mermaid or return to the sea, and he can no longer communicate with aquatic life, and his lifespan has been greatly shortened—he's just a normal human now. Boohoo.

Except NOT! Because he can still get pregnant! And when he does, for some reason he regains the ability to change his legs back into a tail, for a reason that is never explained! He still can't talk to the carp in the pond anymore but that's okay because now that the ML has his mermaid pearl inside him, the ML has gained the ability to talk to fish, and the fish understand human speech, so the ML just has to translate one-way for the fish to reply to the MC.

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Overall, this story was boring: the romance was boring and unbelievable, the MC was s*upid, the ML was way too opaque, everything to do with mermaids was ill-explained (or outright unexplained), and I only kept reading because the novel was relatively short and by the time I realized how mediocre it was, I was more than halfway through, and stubbornness compelled me to finish. Also, I thought maybe the mpreg stuff would help the story along, but nope, it was all in the extras and tried to be cute but again didn't make sense, lacked detail, and amounted to pretty much nothing.

I gave it 1.5 stars but marked it as a 2-star because of the occasionally beautiful writing and although riddled by generic clichés, it wasn't an outright terrible story, just boring and lacking depth and characterization.

Save your time and find another mermaid romance to read. This one's not awful but falls far short of even just okay, much less actually good. <<less
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Hyalma
Hyalma rated it
June 1, 2025
Status: Completed
My opinion is purely subjective, I don't care of objectivity. And I'm not a native english speaker.

It's a short story, easy to read. I find the love story quite cute. At first Yu Xiaoman is a bit silly but well he is progressing through the story and I really like how much he defend Lu Ji against his family. There are some misunderstandings between them but it doesn't last, and I feel like these quiproquos are righteous. Even though, much could be avoided by communication but this is really too... more>> common in any fiction so...

Spoiler

Three chapters with smut : 14, 25 and 39. There is more smut in the manhua.

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MeicchiO
MeicchiO rated it
September 5, 2024
Status: Completed
Cried my eyes out 😭 I wouldn't categorize this as tragedy but as someone who is weak at reading angst the early and middle part of the story made me cry for the MC. This story has a similar concept as the little mermaid but ancient china version with a male MC.

My favorite character is the MC, who has such a big heart and full of kindness ughhh I love him. That's why I really feel like the ML doesn't deserve the MC 😭 he redeems himself I guess towards... more>> the end but I feel like the wife chasing part needs to be longer before the MC accept the ML back. I have to admit though that the ML's family are horrible so I get why he is like that but my poor baby MC 🥺🥺🥺🥺 Just a heads up, the mpreg parts only appear in the extras. It's all plot in the main story. I really enjoyed this novel, it's a bit too short and sometimes I find the translation a bit confusing but this has such a good story. Definitely give this story a try. <<less
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jingyuans
jingyuans rated it
October 17, 2024
Status: Completed
giving it a 3/5 because Lu Ji did not suffer enough.

yu xiaoman went through so much pain for this man and when I was ready to forgive Lu Ji he doesn't tell him he's going to the battlefield neither does he come to spend the last night before him leaves??

he also knew yu xiaoman was pregnant and that could've been used as an excuse to not go to war.

he loves him but is not even willing to sacrifice as much as yu xiaoman did for him
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