My elder legitimate sister said my blood could cure the emperor’s illness, so she demanded that I draw a bowl of it for him every day.

I instructed my body-double maid, Li Qing, “Serve duck blood today. We sent pig’s blood yesterday-we can’t have His Majesty getting sick of it.”

Li Qing rolled her eyes, clearly unwilling. “What a waste of a perfectly good bowl of duck blood. It would’ve been just right for hot pot.”

I nodded in agreement. “He has no idea what he’s missing. And yesterday’s pig’s blood, too-how good would that have been stuffed into blood sausage and dipped in garlic sauce?”

The words had barely left my mouth when the eunuch who often came by to mooch meals, currently perched astride the wall, retched so hard he nearly brought up bile.

“You! I-bleegh!”

I tried twice to help him down, but couldn’t get him steady. In the midst of all the tugging, I accidentally caught a glimpse of the bright imperial-yellow hem beneath his clothes.

I was utterly baffled. “It’s just roast suckling pig, isn’t it?

“Did you really have to make such a grand entrance in an imperial yellow jacket?”

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