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The first time they met, he was a downtrodden prince everybody bullied whilst she was a small palace maid responsible for washing the clothes of the people in the palace.

Twenty years of companionship; he is the only one capable of influencing her emotions. For him, she is willing to immerse her hands in the blood of others, to help him rule this world.

Even though she wasn’t the one he loved, and she wasn’t the one he married, she insisted on remaining by his side, aiming to become the one and only woman capable of standing by his side whilst he held court and the one and only woman in his harem – even if doing so would cause her to get insulted by the entire world.

However, that person whom she loved so much, that person for whom she committed all sorts of preposterous acts for – wanted her to die.

He said, “In this lifetime, I don’t wish to see you ever again!”

She returned to him as a spirit, yet he begged for another lifetime together.

“If we have another lifetime together, I want you to love me and respect me from a very young age, and help me clear all the obstacles standing in my way. You would be forced to watch me love one, and marry another – but both of them would not be you. You must love me so crazily and so deeply that everybody knows about it, and yet you would never be able to truly receive my entire love and affection. On innumerable occasions, you would be misunderstood by me, and hurt by me. The only few tears you shed in your entire lifetime would be for me, and ultimately you would have to die for me. Even after you die, you would not be allowed to rest in peace – instead, you would transform into a spirit and return to my side… Only if you do all these, would you be able to compensate me for what I have done in this lifetime.”

Associated Names
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Bu Wu
Bất ngộ
Related Series
Mulberry Song (8)
My Fiance is in Love with My Little Sister (3)
Sansheng, Wangchuan Wu Shang (3)
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Ballad of Ten Thousand Gu (2)
Beauty to Ashes (2)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Completed
  2. Romance
  3. An Easier Way To Find Good Romance Novels
  4. heart wrenching angsty novels
  5. Completed CNovel

Latest Release

Date Group Release
12/20/18 LanguidTranslations epilogue
12/20/18 LanguidTranslations c25
12/20/18 LanguidTranslations c24
12/19/18 LanguidTranslations c23
12/18/18 LanguidTranslations c22
12/17/18 LanguidTranslations c21
12/14/18 LanguidTranslations c20
08/26/18 Radiant Translations c19 part2
06/27/18 Radiant Translations c19 part1
02/24/18 Radiant Translations c18
02/17/18 Radiant Translations c17
02/12/18 Radiant Translations c16
02/04/18 Radiant Translations c15
01/26/18 Radiant Translations c14
01/11/18 Radiant Translations c13
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January 27, 2019
Status: epilogue

this is one of the interesting novels i've actually read. I disagree with what everyone said about it though. this is not actually a romance per se but rather a unique second chance for the MC to observe and understand her relationships not only with the ML but other characters when she was still alive.

first of all, although she was aware that ML used her to gain power, she never realized that he was actually a very s*upid guy with the romantic leanings of a moron. somebody gave him soup. he didn't know who it was. but he assumed that it must be this visiting pretty girl from somewhere because only someone with her status would visit that place. he never even saw this girl but he immediately convinced himself that he was in love.

when he finally met the girl, he was captivated by her beauty and 'clean' life but as soon as she floated away, he forgot about her. when she died, he convinced himself it was tragic, that he was broken hearted and even blamed FL for not saving her in time. again, he's in despair, over a girl he never even spent one minute to talk to.

when he found out FL had something to do with her death, (she manipulated the other guy to fall in love with her), he cast her away and married another girl because she looked exactly like his dead diva. but it turned he never f*cked her because he didn't want to sully of the memory of the dead girl. puhlez.

then here's the kicker: it turned out his wife and the dead girl were the same person. she didn't really kill herself but rather hid in the boondocks to escape from marrying a man she didn't like. and she turned out to be as tart tongued as FL because she told s*upid Guy, dude, you didn't really expect people to look really alike, did you? are you really that s*upid? she followed this with an even funnier kicker: you married me because I look like your dead sweetheart. now, your true love is dead. i'll bet you'll be looking for someone who look like her so you could marry her, right? why not? since you're really good at it. hahahaha

FL also realized that the other official who's she's always in conflict with actually liked her. when she became ML's lover, he actually advised her to marry ML or ask for a title because what she's doing was not only unseemly but unworthy of her. he respects her because of her accomplishments even though she's a woman living in a man's world. she feels some regret because she realized this guy was actually superior in character than ML. and she always thought of him as a stiff when she was still alive, which turned out to be far from the truth.

knowing all these, when she finally came face to face with ML, she couldn't wait to say her goodbyes and leave. she tells him not to mourn her because she finds it excessive especially knowing that he sent her to her death. live your life as you're mean to, she adds, not really caring actually.

all she wants to do is leave him because the idea of her sticking to him for god knows how long, terrifies her. he's not only boring he's s*upid as a rock.

when he tells her he wants to follow her to death and spend another lifetime with her, she's like, over my dead body. she tells him, dude, the last twenty years have been a blast but no, I don't want to spend another karmaic lifetime with you. it's tempting but... no. then when he tells her he loves her and is about to kiss her, she vanishes, leaving him with no other reality than she's really dead.

that's the gist of the story. girl spends 20 years loving a guy. after she dies, she gets to be the silent observer of his life, in the process understanding that she spent years loving this idiot when there are other guys out there worthy of her love and devotion.

but then she gets to reject him and tell him to his face: i'd rather reincarnate with an octopus than spend another lifetime with you, dude. scram!

and you cry and angst over this novel? it's one of the funniest novels i've read, because it's actually a comedy posing as a tragedy. the dialogue between the consort and the ML near the end was priceless! the guy got no clue, dude. he's really super s*upid.

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junjay rated it
September 30, 2017
Status: Completed
Here to provide spoilers and translations of scenes that really got to me haha~

Overall, I'm a sucker for angst so I came to read Unrepentant after Mulberry Song. ;-;
If I had one complaint, it's really that the flashbacks for Unrepentant are so long.. the emperor only finds out that she passed after 20 chapters.
... more>>

and even then, he faints immediately after so you don't get to find out his proper reaction till the next chapter lol


Have got to say it's quite an intricate plot, everything that's revealed after the emperor (Si Ze) found out she (Hong Jian) passed just adds to his regret. Sad, really. And everything she said to him at the end... TT TT

Next spoiler window are the translations wew (two scenes that kind of broke my heart.. and a random sentence in between haha).
Warning though, it ended up a little long...


[Gu Hong Jian shook her head and said, "I know that you hate me."

Lin Si Ze sighed, extending his hand to knock against her temple. "What nonsense are you saying."

In that moment when she descended like a Red Shura*, truthfully, Lin Si Ze's anger completely dissipated.

... What's more, he should not have been angry with her in the first place.

Gu Hong Jian felt like Lin Si Ze was plotting against her, and Lin Si Ze felt like he was trying his hardest to retain Gu Hong Jian.

Their thoughts did not match, hence even though Lin Si Ze had knocked her head, as if they had returned to being as intimate as back then, Gu Hong Jian still shook her head and said, "You will hate me."

Lin Si Ze said, "Exactly what nonsense are you spouting."

"You will hate me eventually." Gu Hong Jian stood up, looked at Lin Si Ze, "Not in the present, then in the future. I do not wish to see that day, so distancing myself from you would be better."]
*I actually don't know what a Red Shura is, but I think it's something along the lines of a a female hero dressed entirely in red.
It just felt so sad that she was so rooted in her thinking that she meant nothing to Lin Si Ze that she could only take him trying to keep her with him as him plotting against her to use her in the future. This happens a few more times, and there's a scene where he asks, "Gu Hong Jian, you were always saying that I'm plotting against you, but in reality, who is plotting against who."

[So it turns out that twenty years ago that winter, from when they met for the very first time, they had already missed each other.]

TBH that misunderstanding the very first time really screwed them all over. : (

["Hong Jian." Lin Si Ze suddenly said.

Gu Hong Jian was surprised, then said, "En?"

Of course, Lin Si Ze would not hear, he was only talking to himself. "Gu Hong Jian, are you here?"

"En." Gu Hong Jian nodded lightly.

Lin Si Ze said, " (You) should be here... You were the one who covered me with this cloak, right?"

"Yeah, I've said this so many times." Gu Hong Jian was a little resentful.

Lin Si Ze said, "If you are beside me, why won't you appear? Why did you only write a sentence like that for me... Hong Jian, do you hate me a lot?"

" (I) Hate you. I also want to appear, it's nice to scare you in the middle of the night with nothing to do, unfortunately I'm unable to..." Gu Hong Jian shrugged helplessly.

Lin Si Ze said, "But since you hate me, why did you still dr*pe this for me? Gu Hong Jian... ke (coughing sound)."

"I only draped it in passing, how could I know that I would suddenly be able to touch something then!" Gu Hong Jian said peevishly.

Lin Si Ze said, "This is very likely my last night in the capital."


"Ke... I know I'm not fit to travel to Hu prefecture, going would likely have me handing over my life there. But you are there, so I must go." Lin Si Ze lowered his voice and said, "If you are still alive, I will bring you back here, you want to be an chancellor, then continue being your high and powerful Minister Gu, even Imperial Tutor Gu is fine. But if you're tired and only want to be a woman, then enter the palace and be my Empress, if you find even this troublesome, then... then I also won't be the Emperor, and accompany you to be normal civilians, is that okay?"

Gu Hong Jian said lightly, "Okay."

Lin Si Ze continued talking to himself, his voice very soft and also very gentle, "If you are really dead, then... I'll also accompany you. Is that okay?"

In that moment, Gu Hong Jian's guess became reality, Lin Si Ze, already had that kind of intention.

As if a flood had caused countless boulders to beat against Gu Hong Jian's heart, she lightly shook her head and said, "Not okay, not okay at all."

But Lin Si Ze could not hear, so he smiled by himself. "You must be nodding your head now."

Gu Hong Jian could only shake her head non-stop.

However this was the first time Lin Si Ze had showed an appearance of smiling these few days.]



If you've read the above translation, I hope maybe this will keep you interested in the book~ Or maybe it has satisfied your curiosity about this since the translation team has this project low on the priority list... either way it's actually my first time translating from Chinese lmao please take it with a pinch of salt~ <<less
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Fathom rated it
January 29, 2017
Status: c27
Still working through the tears.... Ahhh, the angst.

I have to say this was beautifully written. It's a tragic ending, but everything is resolved and fully explained in the end.

One of the most unique romance stories I've read so far. Most of the Chinese female characters in romance stories fall in several cookie cutter stereotypes. The all encompassing OP character that every man falls over, the beautiful heroine that the male lead is head in loves over, or the villain where the female is obsessed into evil ways.

For the most part,... more>> the lead female here can be categorized as the villain type, except everything she does is for the Prince despite her one sided feelings. Rather than agree to be a harem concubine where she knows she would go psycho and knock out any potential competition, she chooses instead to help the Prince in other ways. If she can't be beside the one she loves romantically, she can still be his right hand man.

From scheming, murder, and even war, she will do all for him. Even knowing he doesn't love her and may even hate her, she's still willing to dirty her hands and help him in any way she can. The truly sad part is that despite her sacrifices she can't even die in peace. After death she is sent back to the Emperor and cannot leave him.

The story is written in flashbacks and you see everything from the POV of an orphan girl abandoned by her family, then s*ave trafficked and sold into the Palace. Her background and torment is just as bad as the Prince that she later serves. All the flashbacks creates a subtle tension for the reader. You wonder when the Emperor will find out the main female lead died, and you can see that some of the characters are truly on pin and needles with some premonition that something bad has happened but not knowing what.

Twenty years together, but both went through so many misunderstandings that only resolved in death and tragedy. A truly sad but beautiful romance story. <<less
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Mopeah rated it
October 9, 2016
Status: c3
I don't see why there are so many 1 star votes. The book so far is a 4 star for me (i gave it 5 to counteract the 1 stars). It's got a unique perspective. So basically, the MC got killed in battle and is now tied to the Emperor as a ghost. The Emperor and her have known each other since they were kids and they were... together. He also doesn't know she's dead yet so I can't wait for that chapter. I'm not sure how the author is... more>> gonna get past her being dead because this seems like a happy ending kinda book. But it's a new perspective and I like it. <<less
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Hanawie rated it
May 14, 2017
Status: Completed
Very unique story where we get an ex-couple that missed and slipped right by each other prior to the beginning of the story. The summary fails to capture the female lead's exact tone but one of the book's sweetest moments is when you find out the true meaning behind her final words.

Now, I can't lie and say I like the male lead. He sucks, big-time.

As a result, I actually really like the bad ending. To me, I sort of saw it as the female lead becoming "free" from her chains (him) and moving on with her (next) life (which I really really hope is happier because she deserves it).


I totes recommend this book, even if you can't handle sad and angsty stories. The author writes in a very refreshing and straightforward style so the story never really wallows in sadness (think tragicomedy-style).
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Liri rated it
November 14, 2016
Status: c4
It was a recommendation from the website shushengbar. The chapters are very short now, but I think it has great potential, especially from the comments - and spoilers- I read. Basically, it is a story about the MC fell for him and from the summary you can tell that she did everything for him, despite believing her love was unrequited. At the beginning of the novel, she is already dead and a ghost, so most part of it is told through flashbacks. The story is just as angsty as it... more>> seems from the summary.


The part I am looking forward the most is the part where he realises that he has nothing to remember her by anymore, because he had destroyed the only portrait he made of her.


My heart cries for the MC, because even when she is dead, she is thinking of him.

Not only when he destroys her painting, right in front of her, but when she talks about having another lifetime and a second chance with him, her words are not because she wanted to be cruel or have revenge, but because she wanted him to let go

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Alina Moktan
Alina Moktan rated it
January 12, 2018
Status: --
Haha what a idiot foolish MC she is. I feel shame because of her foolish action. This about MC who willing to become idiot dog to follow ML even thought he doesn't like her. Brainless foolish MC did everything like scheming, killing For ML who didn't even glance her. She even foolish follow ML as ghost. Such idiot MC, she like of girl that (MC transmigration into a body of her) when she die of humiliation and bully by her fiancé or Prince that she like.

warning it's really worthless novel... more>> with such a shame woman who madly fall for such a as*hole man who doesn't even glance her way. I don't see why people give high rate. As for me I feel shame of this MC action. <<less
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ChuChi rated it
January 21, 2017
Status: Completed

The first time I read this I was so moved that it really disappointed me that it was translated once a month so I tried reading the raws.

As you may have surmised, this is a story of a love so encompassing the MC basically lived her life for him. But at the end she died away from him but because of her love her spirit had gone to attach to the emperor. This is a story that explores what misunderstandings may lead to, that though you have been together for so long that you thought that you know each other inside-out it is better to have a clear understanding between the two of you..

For me, it was really hard to read the last few chapters, I can really feel the emotions of the characters. But it was a good read, something that can move you to tears and understand that everything has an end.

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EroKitsune rated it
January 22, 2018
Status: c26
Firstly, this novel has the 2 leads that share some similarities with those in Fei Hou Jiang Jun by Yi Du Jun Hua.

It's hard to not compare tbh, but the heroine in this novel could at least be considered a childhood friend of the male lead while in FHJJ the heroine was no more than a pet.

Thus, I'd prefer the relationship between the main characters in this novel.

... more>> Besides that, I think this novel had many severe plotholes.

The author gave us Hong Jian's POV most of the time that would prove how useful she was to Si Ze. Yet, later Si Ze would say that he could use others to win the throne.

Tbh, Hong Jian's viewpoint was more convincing because she acted and succeeded. I don't care what grand schemes Li Ze had, but if he kept letting Hong Jian do whatever she could for his goal without executing his own plans, he's still a useless scumbag.

The male lead was supposed to show his distinct feelings honestly like how Hong Jian expected, but he was never honest. He always took her love for granted. I think Hong Jian might have loved the illusion she had for the make lead.

The entire plot twist has 80% predictable, but there's just so much coincidence that it feels super forced.

The ghost part was so lame too. The author just wanted to torment the heroine directly & readers indirectly.

Her body still went missing. It's pretty disturbing to imagine how it will be treated by her enemies. <<less
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shainag425 rated it
March 21, 2018
Status: Completed
After reading the last chapter, I felt that all the suffering from the beginning til the end was worth it. I believe that such a fine story can only be fairly rated after reading til the last chapter, because that's when all the loose ends are tied you definitely get a satisfying ending.

It's not the kind of story where audiences looking for a "quick fix" or even to satient their thirst for revenge can easily be satisfied. Rather, this kind of art deserves patient readers. So when you read til... more>> the end, it feels a LOT more gratifying, especially after you've shed all the tears you can for MC.

Anyways, I invite people to read this from beginning to end and judge for yourself. Only the author can fully flesh out their characters to what they really are, not the commentors (or spoilers). <<less
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blazikens rated it
April 2, 2020
Status: Completed
I had always avoided this novel, because I hate reading tragedy. Still don't like it, but I was bored and the 'ML' infuriated me so I kept reading to see him suffer 😈

I liked the MC, altho I did find her never-ending loyalty to the ML really tiring. That's just who she was tho, her fatal flaw really. At least she was strong, hardworking, and intelligent (at times). I did find her very vicious at times tho, just for the ML's sake, so it was also fitting her life ended... more>> in tragedy.

I was also really glad there was no happy ending tbh, and that's she's finally free from him. In many of these stories, they would have them meet in another life or something, which... NO. She already suffered so much, she deserves her own happy ending, away from him. As far as possible.

I also liked that the ML's white moonlight, the girl he thinks is the one helped him when he was a kid (which in reality was MC), got a 'good ending' too. She was still alive and was able to be with her family, altho she was also left heartbroken by the icky ML. Honestly, he was SUCH an a**hole, I really wished he suffered more tbh. I don't even care about his sad backstory lol.

And lastly, I really loved the clever but way too honest scholar. He might be considered a second male lead who never got a chance? Idk. He might've been cute together with the MC, altho I do think he deserves someone a little less... intense, let's say.

Anyway, this is a good story, altho there is a lot of flashbacks that can get tiring to slog through. They're interesting, but tbh all I wanted was for the ML to find out MC died hehehe 😈

So, if you're in the mood for a good cry or wrenching of the heart, then this is a good novel to read lol!

(I'll admit I didn't cry, I'm not really a crier and more of a visual person anyway. I was only happy the MC's suffering was over, and that she told the s*upid ML who dared to ask for a second lifetime to f*ck off 💞) <<less
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frostcrystal rated it
October 30, 2018
Status: Completed
Uh, wow. I cried. I don't know why I do this to myself.

Although you do see some of the twists coming, I really enjoyed the intricacy of the plot and the presence of an actually decent female and second female lead. There is no ridiculous female harem scheming throughout the story. In addition, every little foreshadow from the beginning ties neatly right back into the end, making one feel like the author has planned it all out really well, and the translation is good, though slow.

That said, although the story... more>> was excellent I don't know if I'd read it over again. It's just so heavy.

Moral of the story: Talk about your feelings and bring up difficult topics with your SOs, everyone. <<less
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acatone rated it
August 1, 2018
Status: c19
wow, definitely a unique POV.

The tragedy isn't as mentally tiring as a buncha others. Rather than waves by waves of sadness and hurt that never ends, this feels more like it's seeping in little by little, quietly and gently before building up to a climax. I know many complain about the really long flashback, but I feel that this flashback was a great device to let you as a reader analyze and sympathize with the characters. In fact, I feel that the most important parts start with the flashback, especially... more>> since the MC can barely do anything but float around during the present time for most of the story.

I also really like the choice of having the MC being barely to do anything but watch during most of the chapters. It's definitely an interesting choice, and it really made me sympathize with her helplessness due to her inability to do or say anything, especially when you consider how helpful she was during her lifetime.

Definitely an interesting tale. It's short, concise and effective. <<less
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Anagnorizien rated it
April 7, 2020
Status: Completed
An absolute tearjerker! I don't particularly like reading tragedies because it would always leave me devasted in the end, like now. However, this novel really did scratch my itch of reading the male lead regret his past actions. It was a worthy read!
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Eclat123 rated it
May 24, 2019
Status: Completed
This is one of the most underrated series in NU.

The story idea is great, capturing the emotions and longing of our MC perfectly using a third-person view yet narrowly focusing on her perspective. The flow of the plot is a little troubling, as the author did not use a consistent pattern in narrating the backstories, sometimes spending too many chapters on it that readers would eventually got bored on trivial details forgot about the main (present) plot. The story idea, emotions portrayal, and character building, however, far exceeded my expectation... more>> for an online light novel and made up for its shortcomings. The first translations are also great, managed to fully captured those emotions.

Overall, a great read. <<less
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Bro.ccoli rated it
April 3, 2020
Status: Completed
After reading the ending I hoped there was more but o well...

It brought me to tears and at the same time made me look silly (laughing, tearing up then smiling again lol)

At the end I can only say "No regrets!"

It was worth it and your time if you'd choose to give this novel a chance (>.~) !
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eispurple12 rated it
December 9, 2019
Status: Completed
Recommended? Yes

I didn't like the too many flashbacks because I was expecting MC to be reincarnated based on the synopsis. Still, it has its painful moments and sweet moments and overall bittersweet feelings so...3 stars. I actually found a few beautiful phrases such as Si Ze's inscription on his only painting of Hong Jian:

“As a flower is to beauty, so is she. Thus she destroys the flower as cheerfully as she destroys me.”

... more>> That right there is worth a whole star for me.

But honestly, SZ and HJ's entire fate be easily summarized by another phrase in the book:


“So it turns out that twenty years ago that winter, from when they met for the very first time, they had already missed each other.”

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March 1, 2019
Status: --
I'm unsure how to rate this. The male lead is useless, weak scum. All he can do is cry. However, is that really a bad thing when the whole premise of the story, as laid out in the summary, is that of an ungrateful emperor? It's exactly like what the novel description said.

It's a short, okay read. It's good if you like tragedy.
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I don't know what to say. It's absolutely beautiful. I actually wanted more. Or an alternate happier ending. But then again, it was a beautiful way to end. I can't say I hate the ML, he's a bit dumb because of the whole moonlight lover thing, but I could see that he loved her. Even though none of them knew it. And it sucks. I really hate tragedy or angst, but this one was just... so nice. I teared up here and there, but I just straight out bawled when... more>> she said "I love you". Still, this is a beautiful piece, it's moving, it's not dramatic, it's just nice. <<less
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chrissy987 rated it
March 30, 2020
Status: epilogue
Its okay, it doesn't hurt, I just made a scenario that GHJ actually was just in a coma and LSZ came and get her and they lived happily ever after. Yes. That's it.
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