Yi Qingyu and Qinghuan, complicated, hard to explain. Ling Yu and her followers, who love her in ways she never lets herself accept. Liu Zhu and Yi Qingyu, with their quiet, steady love. And Yun Jin, holding onto a one sided, aching love for Qin Junlan.

Even the side characters, Bai Rouxi, Ye Ming, He Xi.. They aren't just there to fill space. They leave a mark. Every relationship in this story feels real and important.

She seems cold, commanding, unreachable. But as her story unfolds, you begin to see the burden she carries, how much she sacrifices for her country, and how deeply she cares without ever letting herself show it.

She changed the most for me. I still don't fully understand all her choices. I don't understand how she could let the person she loved go to someone else's bed. And maybe I never will. But I respect her. She never stopped trying. She gave everything for her people. And underneath the steel, there was exhaustion, heartbreak, and loneliness she never let show.

Her final surrender, standing on the tower after everything has crumbled, is one of the most impactful quiet moments I have read. She does not ask for pity. She never even asks for love. But that ache is there on every page.

That moment, when she let go of her pride and crawled forward, just to protect what was left, that broke something in me. Because I didn't think someone like her could bend. And when she did, it made perfect sense. It made her real.

Qin Junlan forgives people who have hurt her deeply, not because she's weak, but because she's strong enough to let go. Her ability to see beyond betrayal and show a level of compassion and benevolence is something rarely seen in a sovereign.

Ling Yu faces the same impossible choice, and her decision to let Qianxun and Junlan go is just as heartbreaking in its quietness.

Qin Junlan may hold the throne, but she is never truly alone, there is always someone who loves her, stands by her. Ling Yu, on the other hand, walks a much lonelier path. Surrounded by loyalty, yes but emotionally, she carries everything alone, and she never lets herself lean on anyone.

I keep thinking about Yi Qingyu and Qinghuan. There's something there that doesn't feel entirely sisterly. Qinghuan's jealousy, the way she dresses up when Qingyu visits, the way her smile fades when Liu Zhu's name comes up. Too possessive to feel like normal sibling affection. I might be reading into it, but I don't think that tension was accidental. It stuck with me.

Ye Ming. I think about her more than I expected to. Will she ever remember Bai Rouxi? And if she does, can she survive that truth? A part of me hopes she never remembers, some pain is too cruel. But another part of me believes Rouxi deserves to be remembered. She loved Ye Ming with everything she had. Quietly. Selflessly. That kind of love shouldn't vanish. Ye Ming deserves to know she was once loved like that. And Rouxi deserves to be remembered. Even if it hurts.

(her husband died and not ever mentioned again), wonderful mother (her daughter suffers from tragic wlw story and also has to follow an insanely high standards, her son is married off to a closeted case and is generally an idiot), amazing sister (her brother tries to rebel against his niece the emperor and her sister refuses to talk to her forever, oh, she's also implied to have more than sisterly feelings for Yi Qingyu), great aunt (her nephew gets killed off and her whole 'Yi' family gets exterminated) and a wonderful human in general (seriously f*ck this woman, the attempt at redeeming her in her death is purely pathetic).

she doesn't treat Liu Qianxun as a tool to further her ambition. Seriously, Ling Yu, it's really f*cked up to preserve your gf's c*astity just so that she'd be more appealing whenever you want to use her to seduce people and further your agenda. Not to mention hurting Liu Qianxun over and over again and pretending it's for the greater good. I don't care if you pretend to be a good person and love the people of your country like you're messed up and need therapy ASAP.

Ling Yu letting Qin Junlan go instead of killing her despite knowing that Ji's military is stronger than her own country's. If Ling Yu really loves her people, she wouldn't do that. Instead, she keeps being indecisive and torn between her love for Yu Kingdom and Liu Qianxun and ends up losing everything.

I wish the author offers a bit more nuance in Qin Junlan's motive to wage wars against other countries, because for us, modern readers, it seems like a silly justification, almost childish to put her reason as 'wanting to be the leader of everyone'. In reality, it's more of a trolley problem.

I got a lot of my nuance from the 'Kingdom' manga, which also explores the subject of the unification of China so I thought I'd just share some of my reflections.

Back then, there were a lot of smaller countries in China and these countries went to wars with each others all the time for all sorts of reasons! Resources (somewhat reasonable), over someone being insulted (ego trip much), beauties (eh), expanding the country's borders, etc. this would go on for hundreds of years as countries merge and divorce each other and there are a lot of deaths, obviously, uncertainties and hostages, causing instability and pain among the common people.

Then, came these 'great leaders' who had the idea of starting wars to end all wars, forever. So everyone can be under one country and nobody has to fight over petty reasons and just take care and vibe with each other. I believe Qin Junlan falls under this category... probably not a coincidence that she shares a surname with the Qin dynasty who unified China in real life back then.

Back to the trolley problem: is it better to have smaller scale wars between countries that last for hundreds, maybe thousands of years OR having one big war to end the other wars, likely forever?

I wish there's a secret third option but sadly, looking at the world climate, we're not acting too differently from our ancestors, it seems.

Plus, this novel doesn't shy away from killing off prominent characters if it means progressing the story.

Honestly, the ending was so dragged and the extra chapters was disappointing. I don't understand why the author felt the need to explain the side couple's horrible past. The author could've easily written about Yun Jin after she became empress dowager.

- Qin Junlan (FL). Even understanding historical context, this might be my biased opinion due to my dislike for the mentality of ''conquering in the name of greed and power'', but I didn't appreciate Junlan's character when it comes to the war aspect. And I even started disliking her when we started learning more about the countries she's trying to invade and conquer. I found her reason for territorial conquest to be shallow, while the others are merely fighting for survival.

And I'm not even sure what to think of her decision to abdicate right after winning those territories. Like, she was going all "I'm the god chosen one to rule all under the sun" blah blah blah, but then steps down right after winning the war and dumps the responsibilities on her sister-in-law and traps that poor girl in the imperial and court life she herself hates then retires into the mountains to live with her gf...

- My opinion of Ling Yu (the antagonist) went from hate to love due to how well she's written and all I felt for her was sadness at the end. She did bad things, specially how she used our MC as a honey trap, but everything she did was for the sake of her country and her people at the edge of despair. She is a tragic hero who ended up on the unlucky side. She was dealth with a losing hand from the start and all she could do was keep trying against all odds. She is far from being perfect, but she is undeniably admirable for her perseverance and willingness to make sacrifices most are incapable of making. Junlan does break her at the end, but Ling Yu chose to let that happen in exchange for the lives of her people. At the end, between her and Junlan, I see Junlan as the actual bad guy in their situation.

- For our MC (Liu Qianxun). At the start she is cold and ruthless, and only care about her mother and Ling Yu, but she changes throughout the story and her development is well done. What I loved about her character is that she goes hard for the person she loves and she will do anything for them. Everything she did for Ling Yu, then everything she does for Junlan is absolutely heartbreaking. The girl just wants to be loved and accepted. Both Junlan's and Ling Yu's love pales in comparison to the love Liu Qianxun gave them. And in my opinion, neither of them deserves her. Qianxun is one of my absolute favorite female characters.