RegisterLogin
Theme
Search
Series Group
The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered
Type
Web Novel (KR)
Genre
Tags[ ]
Loading...
Tags List | Request Tag
Rating(4.5 / 5.0, 152 votes)
5    78% (118 votes)
4    8% (12 votes)
3    6% (9 votes)
2    2% (3 votes)
1    7% (10 votes)
Language
Support Book (#ad)
Author(s)
One entry per line
Artist(s)
One entry per line
N/A
Year
Example: 2012
2021
Status in COO
Status in Country of Origin. One entry per line
108 Chapters (Complete)
Licensed
No
Completely Translated
Original Publisher
One entry per line
English Publisher
One entry per line
N/A
Release Frequency
Every 5.7 Day(s)
Activity Stats
[Graph]
Weekly Rank: #196
Monthly Rank: #715
All Time Rank: #4314
Reading List
[Graph]
On 1157 Reading Lists
Monthly Rank: #7889
All Time Rank: #7597

Description

Links are NOT allowed. Format your description nicely so people can easily read them. Please use proper spacing and paragraphs.

I just want to see the faces of those who cherish me, utterly ruined and soaked in guilt, as I die tragically right before their eyes. (The End)

Associated Names
One entry per line
소녀는 살해당하고 싶다.
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
She Was Both Called God, as Well as Satan (3)
I Became a M*rderer in the Academy (2)
I Became the Incompetent Youngest Daughter of the Demon Realm (1)
To be a Childhood Sweetheart that You will Regret for Life (1)
Self-H*rming Heroine (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Did someone say Gender Bender? >:)
  2. Peak Hidden Gems Part 5 (ACTUALLY EPIC STUFF)
  3. My favs
  4. Thoroughly Vetted (I hope) Gender Bender
  5. Ranking of novels i have read

Latest Release

Date Group Release
03/09/25 Raei Translations c108
03/09/25 Raei Translations c107
03/09/25 Raei Translations c106
03/09/25 Raei Translations c105
03/09/25 Raei Translations c104
03/09/25 Raei Translations c103
03/09/25 Raei Translations c102
03/09/25 Raei Translations c101
03/09/25 Raei Translations c100
03/09/25 Raei Translations c99
03/09/25 Raei Translations c98
03/09/25 Raei Translations c97
03/09/25 Raei Translations c96
03/09/25 Raei Translations c95
03/09/25 Raei Translations c94
123…8
Go to Page...
Go to Page...
Write a Review
17 Reviews sorted by


kkimkay
New kkimkay rated it
March 15, 2025
Status: c108
  1. the MC is very broken, twisted due to many lives lived.
  2. MC takes gaslighting to the next level
This is written extremely well, a show not tell. Some aspects take some reading in-between the lines. The author leaves you with some information, descriptions, but leaves off crucial parts that give you closure.

The MC has a very twisted sense of kindness. Reading the earlier chapters makes you think that the MC is just a sadist, later on, you really get some insight on how they think. While their reasoning is debatable and some... more>> might say why can't they just be happy, you do understand the MC 's POV.

This is one of the few novels I had to read a few times. Would sad again 15/10. Don't read if you need closure after a novel. <<less
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Conceptualized
Conceptualized rated it
August 16, 2024
Status: c41
It was a struggle to find this novel here until I found that the u was replaced with * from a google image search.

Anyways, just from the 16 chapters available, I really want more. The way the MC meticulously puts up an act, letting the ones around her like her more and more before her death she's waiting for comes, just so they can grieve and cry over her death.

[Update, i've read 41 now, still peak.]

She could just have prevented the tragedy, but no, she leaves the source of the... more>> tragedy be, letting it fester, making it so she would die, just to make her family cry.

To say the least, this MC, having reincarnated more than 3 digits, is a bit coocoo crazy. Please, read it.

And yes, there is an aftermath chapter for the second tragedy she makes after the one in the beginning chapters.

.. And this novel isn't regression, its reincarnation. I wasn't gonna add these parts, but it seemed like it would be fine because Cactii does this too. This is because of their review.

This whole novel is about the main character, a Reincarnator, after repeatedly reincarnating, deciding that she'd die in her lifes, after spending time and bonding with those around her, so they grief, and learn from her death. Or.. So she says.

It's very clear that she makes tragedies happen, just from the summary. Hell, this review and the other ones tell it very clearly. Yet, having read only 4 chapters, going in with the knowledge of what this novel is about, you still somehow decided to give it a 1 star despite trying to recognize that some novels just arent for you, because.. It's slightly different than just a genre you dislike? I don't get what you mean by slightly different.. What, are you doing with your review? It's like you read a book showing a dictator making a society hell for its people, then say that it shouldn't be recommended because it'd put them into a negative headspace, that you don't support entertainment based on the suffering of people under a dictatorship..

Its a novel! It's not real people being hurt! You don't read someone suffering and go "Damn.. Im gonna make this happen to someone in real life." We don't reincarnate like the MC, we haven't lived hundreds of lives. Of course we wouldn't enjoy the sufering of our friends and family. How is this hard to understand?

If you DO get "inspired" by this novel, suddenly thinking it would be fun if your family and friends suffered, you're.. Weird. Don't blame that on the novel. Watching characters suffer in media isnt the same as it is in real life. "Their warcrimes are fake, my annoyance is real.", which is why some people love villains but despise annoying characters. <<less
28 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Sareza
Sareza rated it
August 23, 2024
Status: c48
Please note that this isn't a Quick Transmigration nor a World Hopping novel

Caution: If you're easily disturbed by twisted themes and emotional despair, this novel might be a tough read. It dives deep into dark and unsettling territory, exploring a protagonist who finds twisted pleasure in causing emotional pain.

This novel stands out from the typical guilt-obsession stories, where side characters constantly blame themselves, leading to repetitive chapters. In this story, the characters actually learn from their mistakes and flaws. The narrative carries a powerful message: even when a loved... more>> one dies, no matter how heart-wrenching it is, life must go on. Instead of dwelling endlessly on self-blame, the focus is on finding the strength to move forward, making this a more compelling and realistic portrayal of grief and growth.

Surprisingly, the novel is also deeply philosophical and thought-provoking. It delves into the fractured psyche of not just the protagonist but the side characters as well. This isn't a story that relies on cheap pity bait; instead, it offers a complex, well-crafted exploration of brokenness. It's masterfully done and leaves a lasting impact.

Summary of the story :

Imagine a world where death becomes a game, and living hundreds or even thousands of lives isn't a burden of memory, but a twisted form of entertainment. In this novel, the protagonist's existence doesn't center on their countless lives but rather on what they've become, a being so disconnected from humanity that they find pleasure not in life but in the suffering that death brings to those who love them.

The protagonist no longer cares for the thrill of adventure or the discovery of new worlds. Life itself has become tiresome, a monotonous cycle where the only spark of excitement is found in orchestrating their own demise. But it's not the act of dying that matters; it's the despair, the utter hopelessness etched on the faces of those left behind that fuels their twisted pleasure. To them, life has lost its meaning, and death is the only way to feel anything.

Initially, the protagonist tries to live normally, forming bonds, creating memories, and becoming a beloved figure in each new world. But the darkness inside them craves more, something far beyond the ordinary joy of companionship. Their pleasure comes from making themselves irreplaceable to others, only to tear that sense of security apart in the most devastating way possible. It's a dance with death, where the music isn't the final breath but the broken sobs of those left behind, the shattered souls who cannot comprehend the loss of someone so dear to them.

This isn't just a tale of moral decay, it's a philosophical exploration of what happens when life loses all meaning and death becomes the only solace. The protagonist's actions aren't driven by malice but by a desperate need to feel something, anything, in a universe where everything has become dull. They don't kill others for fun; they kill themselves, over and over, feeding off the pain and suffering they cause.

In many ways, the story serves as a dark reflection of the human condition. What happens when we lose our moral compass, when life becomes so meaningless that we seek out destruction as the only form of release? The protagonist isn't just a villain; they're a victim of their own immortality, trapped in a cycle where the only escape is through the pain of others.

Their twisted pleasure in death forces the reader to confront uncomfortable questions about the nature of existence. Is there value in life when it can be endlessly repeated? What happens to our sense of morality when we've seen and done it all? Can we still consider ourselves human when we no longer empathize with others, when we take joy in their suffering?

The novel is both disturbing and thought-provoking, pushing the boundaries of what it means to live and die. It forces us to question our own values and the fragile line between sanity and madness. Through the protagonist's eyes, we see a world where the pursuit of pleasure becomes so warped that it destroys not only others but the self. And yet, despite the horror, there's an underlying tragedy in their actions, a longing for an end that will never come, a desire for rest that can never be fulfilled.

In the end, this novel isn't just about death and despair. It's about the fragility of the human psyche, the dangers of immortality, and the haunting consequences of a life devoid of meaning. The protagonist's journey is a reminder that without purpose, even the most precious things in life can be twisted into something dark and dangerous.

PS: It's been a while since I've felt such raw emotional despair. The concept behind this novel is brilliant, and while it doesn't quite hit masterpiece status, it's still a masterpiece in its own right, at least for me. I've been on a binge of happy slice-of-life stories lately, so maybe my review is a little colored by the thrill this one gave me. But fair warning: reading this will definitely leave you with some negative thoughts. <<less
20 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
wacko104
wacko104 rated it
September 25, 2024
Status: c39
What you get is exactly what it says on the tin. The MC is just like hyper efficient at gaslighting and trauma dumping people to make them as miserable as possible. It’s that “if I killed myself in front of this person how would that alter their life trajectory” logic applied liberally. The MC is perfectly willing to spend a decade of her life meticulously getting them attached to her, being an inseparable part of their lives, only to die tragically in front of them because of something she manipulated... more>> to be their fault. It’s completely psychotic but also bizarrely entertaining how she draws people in and sets them up. Genuinely a terrible person, and she does it with kindness. The MC is seriously messed up. There’s a quote from chapter 37 that perfectly encapsulates her-

“The only way to soothe a child who constantly craves affection. Is to keep showering them with affection. Until the child is satisfied. Until they say they’re okay. Give them sweet affection, sweet enough to melt their brain. And when the time is right, take it away-“ <<less
12 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Franciscod1
Franciscod1 rated it
August 15, 2024
Status: c16
Finally, a novel about guilt tripping that isn't yaoi/shounen ai. Looks good so far and I love how manipulative the MC is. I just wish the author fleshed out the aftermath of her acts more.
9 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Invadingcat47
Invadingcat47
August 28, 2024
Status: c22
An infinite reincarnator who went wrong in the head after some existential crises and guilt over "stealing" from more deserving people who only live once. So now protag rationalize their existence as someone who exist only fuel good people's character growth, and you know they say about growth "hardship build character". So let's trauma dump on people before they get trauma dump by people who are less expandable than an infinite reincarnator.
8 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
BlueHatDuck
BlueHatDuck rated it
August 13, 2024
Status: c7
I've never written a review, but I had to pick up the pen for this one. I don't even know what to really say about this... The concept of an infinitely reincarnating main character is perfect. But it seems, due to her hundreds of reincarnations, that her personality is skewed? The best way to describe her, is a really sadistic person who likes watching others suffer. Spoilers, I guess.

... more>>
Spoiler

After a certain amount of reincarnations, the main character went through an existential crisis. Leading to the personality she has now, and that personality likes to die. Unlike others who would commit sui*ide, she prefers to die at the hands of her loved ones, leaving them in despair. She uses her knowledge from her past lives to guide them to an ending where she dies, either by their mistake or their own hand. Willingly and knowingly sending them down the route of self-destruction, with the justifications that it's a learning experience. Which may not even be true! We don't know what happens to the families and friends the main character leaves behind, and frankly, the main character seems to not care. She does what she does for herself, and for no one but herself. Gaining happiness from the suffering of others. Playing with their feelings, and leaving behind those who cared for her. She also vividly imagines scenarios of her dying in her families arms, and enjoying the expressions of despair they would have. Maybe in one of her lives, she was Junko Enoshima?

[collapse]

I gave this novel 3 stars. Honestly, I think this novel is pretty good, the concept is unique, addictive, and makes me want to continue watching the world burn. The only thing preventing me from enjoying it, is the human emotion called empathy. I, in my right mind, cannot enjoy the suffering of good people, and frankly, am happy I don't. Good sh*t? Probably 4 stars. I dunno man.

PS: Obsessive love tag staring at me rn, telling me "5 stars! 5 stars!", welp it's too late now. <<less
8 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
soteleon
soteleon rated it
August 20, 2024
Status: c17
Well, this novel as the people say, about a person that reincarnates infinitely and its kinda coo coo in the head. You have your usual reincarnation novel but the story is well explained and its not full of bullsh*it like overpowers and weird tramas, just, a person that went kinda mad along the time and its trying to find fun somehow by dying. Not going to say more but the novel its pretty interesting, just give it a shot without reading around

5/5
7 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Lussankya
Lussankya rated it
January 30, 2025
Status: c104
This novel is the novel which I have reread the most but I still feel the emotion just like the first time. Because the many lives the MC have been through, she can read other character emotional state extremely accurately and use it to "help" others to become their best version of themselves abeit with some side effect of crippling depression and PTSD. I'll quote the author's afterword here

"The story of this novel begins with only one thing: what would happen if everyone was reborn with

memories of their past lives,... more>> as described in the first chapter.

The value of life lowered to the limit.

I wanted to portray someone who would risk a broken hand to save another person's life, or sacrifice their

own life to prevent someone else's hand from breaking."

And the author have executed the final point there wonderfully. I can feel the MC twisted sense of kindness and I can feel other characters dread, sadness, self-loathing reacting to the MC pitiful state through every word, every line, every paragraph the author wrote. It's the only novel which emotionally drained me everytime I read it. Everytime i've read this novel I need a session of music and doing nothing to process what the f*ck am I feeling right now.

READ IT <<less
6 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
LeafMan
LeafMan rated it
August 20, 2024
Status: c50
When I first made a review I was at ch17 and at the early start you meet our protagonist who has a perverse hobby of dying in front of people who love her and vice versa, the meaning of these deaths is sort of like a stepping stone and isn't one dimensional. The author put a lot of thought, and there are very interesting chapters, stories, and ideas that I simply did not expect. If you want a story to pull your heartstrings, this is it, if you want a... more>> story that wont treat you like a idiot and lets you think, you have it here. And don't expect this gem to last long, it all leads to a climax. Its written with intent.

<<less
6 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Felo
Felo rated it
September 27, 2024
Status: c32
The novel delivers what it says, don't read it expecting rainbows - its dark. Its well written for what it is, and the translation is high quality.

I was surprised because the group translating this is the same one translating "I Was Kidnapped By The Strongest Guild". On second thought though, even that book has very dark undertones even if the fluff more than makes up for it, so it makes sense. If you liked "I Was Kidnapped By The Strongest Guild" and don't mind the book being even more traumatic... more>> with an even heavier plot, then this is a read. <<less
5 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Hurtmemore
Hurtmemore rated it
November 28, 2024
Status: c31
Honestly really good concept. The novel as a whole is very philosophical and honestly just super intriguing to read, as it provides a different perspective on infinite reincarnations.

But there is one ginormous negative that I just couldn't get past no matter how hard I tried ignoring it.

... more>>
Spoiler

Around chapter 20, she meets this female monster and in order to heal MC, the monster has to lick the harmed areas, which at the time was everywhere. This led into some strangely graphic and s*xual description, DESPITE MC BEING ONLY TEN AT THE TIME!! At the end of that specific chapter, the author's note said "It's a medical treatment, what were you imagining, " insinuating the author knew of the s*xual undertones. Despite everything in me telling me to stop reading, I kept going as it was such a waste of a well-written novel. However, as I kept going, it became more and more obvious the "sisterly" bond they had was more romantic than originally thought. Keep in mind, she's still ten??? The female monster and MC both (on separate occasions) say they have feelings for the other, so that's when I officially decided to drop this. It's such a shame that another well-written novel went down the pe*ophilic-romance pipeline.

[collapse]

Honestly it's still your own decision whether to read or not, as ignoring this issue, it's relatively well-written and interesting. This is just the reason I personally dropped this. <<less
4 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Nekomimik
Nekomimik rated it
October 22, 2024
Status: c54
This novel is not for the faint-hearted. It's the kind of novel those who are a little masochistic can enjoy— people who enjoy the aftermath of the tragedies caused by a beloved character's death (from the story POV) to those who are left behind. Very much accurate on what' written on the tin. The translation is great, conveying the ideals of the novel with great quality.

For those are interested in reading this novel... I don't know until what chapter you should brace yourself if you wish to read this. Honestly,... more>> if you cannot handle the amount of trauma, angst, tragedy, and the MC's twisted actions from the early chapters (ch 0 to ch 15) that encompass the first arc, quit while you're ahead.

I say this because the author's prose and writing truly captures the emotions, the build up and the execution that'll leave your heart stabbed... and maybe leave you misty-eyed to crying. At least that's what happened with me. Ugh. I want more! I need to see how this all ends!!!

Our MC is someone that has reincarnated continuously for a long, long time. They're... broken by it. And one thing is for certain, they are kindhearted; but that itself has been twisted horrifyingly into what we see in the prologue and starting chapters. They are a brilliant director when it comes to creating the perfect recipe of a tragedy with themself as the sacrifice and fertilizer for the growth of those involved. Twisted, horrible and utter sorrowful for those involved and for the MC who kept doing this for a long time. Ch 24 shows the effects of her last death before her current incarnation and that's she's right. It does help.

Speaking of which, while it seems to be a novel centered around quick-transmigration. That isn't the case. That is just the background story of the MC. An explanation to their actions. Ch 47-48 shows where it all went wrong for the MC. In a way, when viewed objectively, the MC is a tragic hero/heroine. Death, after all, is comforting since you know it is truly the End; however, for the Aris/Alice, it's just the continuation to the next role she'll be casting herself into. <<less
4 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Cactiii
Cactiii rated it
August 18, 2024
Status: c4
This book is honestly just disturbing... Despite it having a somewhat unique take on the repeat regression genre and at least for the few chapters I read is well written the novel just feels horrible to read. Usually I try to recognize that a story might not be for me and avoid giving a bad rating for this type of thing, but for this story its slightly different than just a genre that I dislike.

This story is literally about the protagonist wanting to make the people close to them cherish... more>> them, and then die tragically. The protagonist enjoys watching their anguish and their actions are built up to basically just inflict maximum trauma on the people they were close with, to die in the most horrific way that they can and enjoy watching the people who cherishes them suffer.

The entire story is just built around suffering and negativity. The protagonist actively fuels the flames to try to make their death as horrible as possible for the people close to them. I guess it appeals to a certain demographic, but I would really not recommend this story to anyone... I feel like all it will do is put people into a negative headspace, and I really don't support entertainment that's based on watching your loved ones suffer. Idk, the story just feels depressing to read. <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
avyvanja
avyvanja rated it
November 22, 2024
Status: Completed
Where do I begin with this novel? It's extremely, incredibly, great. The author has an excellent writing style, if not a propensity for philosophical and poetic musings that may or may not resonate with whomever is reading it. The relationships, plot, and themes are all incredibly strong and compact (it's only 88 chapters for the main story). The emotions of the story come through so strongly - at first from the side characters who experience the MC's death (s), albeit the impact being dulled by the fact that the MC... more>> doesn't actually die die, and then later from the MC's own emotional state and twisted psychology.

It's easy to read a few early chapters and run your mouth about how cruel the MC is and/or how the development doesn't match what you wanted, but the true gem of the story is for those who stick around. Far from a simply cruel MC and a poorly executed development, this story has depth. The MC isn't cruel, she's broken and twisted. You could call it splitting hairs, but I believe it makes all the difference. Far be it from me to give spoilers where I don't think I should, so I'll say this much - the MC really, truly, loves everyone around her. She has no resentment for anyone. But due to her repeated reincarnations, along the way things have happened in ways that twisted her psychology and spirit and led her to her current way of living and dying.

The development post c15 is about this as well. It's not a quick-transmigration novel where she world-hops and cycles through deaths like harem protagonists pick up partners. This novel is about a life where her plans and reality come to a head, and from c15-c88 the story explores her past, her present, challenges both of them, and forces her to make a decision. It's sweet, it's painful, it's despondent, it's loving, all at once. As you read you feel an impending sense of anxiety, wondering if she's going to die, how she's going to die, and if she'll realise what dying actually means.

The main contention I have with this novel is that I don't feel like its conclusion resolved anything. I appreciate the thematic and stylistic consistency with which the author concluded the novel, but I think in terms of substance and storytelling, it left much to be desired. It gives possibilities, not outcomes, and I think if the idea was to present this novel as a snapshot into the lives and deaths of a perma-reincarnator, it wasn't executed well. If that wasn't the idea, it was executed worse. This novel desperately needs a definite conclusion - whether she decided to cage herself, to stay her path, or to resolve #017 (iykyk) - I think the author's skills could have knocked it out of the park with however they decided to do it. Unfortunately what it really feels like is the author copped-out and let the audience pick what they wanted, which created an extremely weak-feeling ending. The rising tension and emotional climax that was being built prior to the conclusion pretty much collapsed like so much wet tissue paper.

Other than that, in my opinion this is a startlingly good psychological and drama novel that toys with your emotions (in a good way) and leaves you desperately hoping for a happy ending, even as you're struck with the dawning sense of dread that accompanies the knowledge that this will no doubt be a tragedy. If you want to keep a completely positive impression of the novel, stop at c86 (HaPpY 3) and imagine the aftermath yourself. The author does not provide any further elaboration afterwards. It's worth reading c87 and 88 as well, just not immediately after c86. <<less
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
AshariRb
AshariRb rated it
August 23, 2024
Status: c18
The story concept is great, the climax is great. The story leading to climax is great. But the story afterwards is what turn me off.

Was waiting on what would happen afterwards, but just disappointed on how it was executed.
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Iamreader2004
Iamreader2004 rated it
December 29, 2024
Status: c54
The first two chapters of the story are very bad because you're thrown into the middle of it and you don't know what's going on. But the one after that where the main character is with his two sisters is fantastic. There I was reminded of Shakespeare's saying "all the world's a theatre". But after that the work again drops in quality as we keep jumping in time and there is no indication of whose point of view we are reading from. And this is very confusing because you are... more>> reading from the point of view of one character but then suddenly, with no indication, it switches to another. And you have to find out if it's the same character or a new one and if it's new, who. And the main character has fewer and fewer roles. Which is kind of bitter, because he's the best element here. Overall, a 3 and a half stars. <<less
0 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Leave a Review (Guidelines)
You must be logged in to rate and post a review. Register an account to get started.

Novel Updates

User Tools

Latest Series

| Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Contact Us